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knives
Working on your knife-throwing in a public area is not a good idea under normal circumstances.  How about under these circumstances, as reported by kval.com (Eugene, Oregon):

Police responded to the commercial district near NW 9th Street and NW Spruce Avenue around 5:30 p.m. Sunday to a report of a man throwing a knife at trees [near a credit union drive-through].

The officer contacted [Drew William] Phillips, [23] who told police he was practicing his knife-throwing skills with a 3.5-inch fixed blade knife.

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cooking
Warning: Do not read this right before, or after, eating, because it’s really, really gross. Okay, here it goes, per The Standard, “China’s Business Newspaper”

A domestic helper has appeared in court accused of trying to injure her employer by mixing her menstrual blood in a pot of vegetables she was cooking.

You were warned …

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safe combination dial
If one person can’t carry the safe, nobody would say you made a poor choice in going with that one.  Still, The Juice is quite confident these folks will be going with a much bigger safe this time. As reported by nj.com:

Bridgewater police are investigating the burglary of an Ardmaer Drive home that occurred on July 12.

And as you know, it wasn’t just any old burglary.

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sweet and sour sauce

Even if you like sweet and sour sauce, ain’t no way you like it as much as this Washington State man. As reported by The Highline Times:

A man entered a fast food restaurant at the 14800 block of 4th Ave. S.W. asking for some condiments. The clerk told him no. That angered him so he pulled out a knife and demanded they hand over some sweet and sour sauce. There were no reported injuries and it was unclear if they had the suspect in custody.

Clearly a head-scratcher.

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police lights
What lengths would you go to in order to avoid a speeding ticket? Ladies, would you fire up the waterworks? Gents, would you throw yourself on the mercy of the officer? You won’t believe what this guy did. As reported by WFTV.com:

A man is accused of calling 911 to say that a murder was about to take place, but West Melbourne authorities said the caller was just trying to get out of a traffic stop.

Yes, you read that correctly.

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doors
Door are similar in that they all lead somewhere. On a plane, though, where they lead is kind of important – the bathroom, or, as reported at theindependent.ie …

Tomasz Mucha (26) had never been on a plane before and drank vodka and beer to steady his nerves before attempting to open the back door of the Ryanair aircraft.

Yeah, unless you’re on the ground, that door is not your average door. But fortunately …

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dog
There are bad apples in every profession. Yes, there are even bad park rangers, but probably very few that are this bad. In fact, I’ll bet this guy isn’t even a park ranger! Per The San Francisco Chronicle:

Marin County authorities are warning hikers to beware of a man claiming to be a park ranger who in the past month has kicked dogs, taken photos of women with a cell phone and given out false information about dog rules.

The man twice misrepresented himself as a ranger for the Marin County Open Space District, according to county officials. Both incidents happened on a fire road in the Blithedale Summit Open Space Preserve between Mill Valley and Corte Madera.

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asleep sleeping
This guy could not have made it any easier for the police to bust him for driving while intoxicated. As reported by  The Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):

The incident happened on Friday, July 18, just before midnight on Route 31 north near Echo Lane. Patrolman John Tiger saw a 2013 Ford Mustang stopped on the northbound shoulder with its hazard lights activated. Upon approaching the car, Tiger saw Rafael Genao, 35, of Washington sleeping in the driver’s seat while the engine was running, police said.

Genao’s right hand was on the gear shifter, the car was in neutral, and the emergency brake was on. When the officer woke Genao, Genao de-activated the emergency brake and the car rolled backward, hitting Tiger’s patrol vehicle, police said. After several attempts, Tiger was able to get Genao to park his vehicle, turn it off and hand over the keys, police said.

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elevator
If you live in Britain, you have to know that cameras are everywhere.  And yes, that includes elevators too. And seriously, you couldn’t wait another minute or two? Per The Daily Post:

A man who defecated in a lift is being hunted by police as part of a crackdown on “shameless” passengers who use North Wales train stations as toilets.

Yes, you read that right. And the CCTV video can be found at the link at the end of this post.

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ear
No doubt this gent would rather have his ear back. Unfortunately, that is not an option.  As reported by the Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Roger W. Harris, 21, alleged in a federal lawsuit that guards at the jail should have done more to protect him from other inmates. On May 11, 2012, inmate Teryun D. Jackson bit off Harris’ ear and another inmate, Marlon K. Jackson, flushed the ear down a toilet.

Ouch! What was the end result?

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