To save his months-old marriage, Brian Wright must, a judge said Tuesday, end it and then divorce the wife he married earlier so he can legally re-marry the woman he married in May, who accompanied him to court and watched him plead guilty to bigamy.
She left holding his hand.
Even the best phone scams succeed just a fraction of the time, but that provides a good living for too many people. What about a scam that has virtually no chance of succeeding? Here’s just such a scam, as reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter:
90th Precinct – Southside–Williamsburg
A manipulative thief tried to get a woman to hand over a large sum of cash by telling her in a phone call to her Keap Street home on May 10 that they had kidnapped her son and were removing his fingers.
So if you get pulled over for a traffic matter, would it ever occur to you that you have a constitutional right not to identify yourself? Yeah, me either. But this lady? Whoa. You’re not going to believe this. As reported by The Carroll County Times:
Close to a dozen members of a local advocacy group against what they consider to be the misapplication of federal and state law waited outside the Carroll County Detention Center to greet a woman released Tuesday morning who had been arrested after failing to identify herself after a routine traffic stop in June.
During her time at the detention center, the woman continued to refuse to identify herself, claiming it was her Fifth Amendment right.
There are many times when you just say “yes sir” or “yes ma’am” or, and especially “yes, your honor.” And even if you’re not going to be polite, it’s just not a good idea to go all the way to the other end of the spectrum, as this gent in New Mexico found out. As reported by krqe.com (Albuquerque, New Mexico):
A man already facing an aggravated assault charge for allegedly attacking a bus driver got himself into even more trouble when he tried to talk tough to a judge Saturday.
So what brought this gent to court?
Stanley Geddie arrived by taxicab and was drunk during an attempted heist of a Tallahassee bank Wednesday afternoon, police say.
The 46-year-old was arrested on charges of robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer after demanding $100,000 from a bank manager at the Capital City Bank on Capital Circle Northwest.
Dude, it’s not your money. Was it worth risking your life? Okay, don’t answer that since you look pretty good right now. How good would you have looked with a hole in your head? Seriously, just hand over the money. Even if you get fired, good things will happen! (See yesterday’s Juice post.) Any way, back to the present, as reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:
Capt. Peter Albert said a person wearing a mask and a hooded sweatshirt — believed to be a man — entered the Gulf gas station at 1 Continental Blvd. shortly before 11 p.m. Wednesday.
Albert said a handgun was shown to the store employee.
Forget about the other circumstances surrounding this man’s detention. It must have been obvious to the officers that something was amiss when the man said he was told to leave heaven. As reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):
A 53-year-old Cordova man was taken into custody and transported to the Regional Medical Center just before 3 a.m. Thursday after he was seen running completely naked down Cannon Bridge Road.
The man told a deputy that he had gone to heaven and was hearing people tell him to go back.
[33-year-old Joshua Page Edwards] walked into the store to allegedly shop for a gift, and perused the shop with the clerk before walking up to the counter and handing over a note.
Aren’t notes a bank robbery thing? Anyway …
Law school is really expensive, and it takes three years. So how can you avoid it, and still be a lawyer? Well, just say you are a lawyer. That’s what this woman did, apparently quite well, as reported by newser.com:
A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade and made partner at her small firm before her fraud was discovered, according to charges announced yesterday. Kimberly Kitchen was charged Thursday with forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. State prosecutors contend Kitchen fooled BMZ Law by forging a law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school, and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The firm is based in Huntingdon, about 110 miles east of Pittsburgh. Kitchen, of nearby James Creek, handled estate planning for more than 30 clients “despite never having attended law school,” the attorney general’s office says.
She even served as president of her county bar, says her lawyer, who adds that “she’s an incredibly competent person, and she worked very diligently and was devoted to the people she served. There are things about the charges we don’t agree with.” But the Huntington County Bar Association’s current president called the charges insufficient given “the level of betrayal” over 10 years. Local lawyers were the first to raise questions about Kitchen’s credentials; in December, when the Huntingdon Daily News first reported on the case, the firm vowed to review her work. Kitchen, 45, was previously employed at Juniata College, where she worked in fundraising but “started holding herself out to be a lawyer,” says a senior deputy attorney. She’s married to a state conservation ranger and is no longer working, her lawyer says.
You go out drinking, and shit happens. But four times? Fuhgeddaboutit. As reported in the The Police Blotter in The Brooklyn Paper [88th Precinct (Fort Greene–Clinton Hill)]:
Some careful crooks emptied the pockets of a man sleeping on the Q train on Dec. 13, according to police.
The groggy 43-year-old straphanger said he was drinking at a bar in the Midtown section of Manhattan and boarded a Brooklyn-bound Q train at 11:30 pm on Dec. 12.