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Hell, The Juice himself is not the most patient driver. Suffice it to say that, if his car were miked, there would have to be a serious delay, with someone’s finger always on the button. But this dude in Houston? He either has an incredibly short fuse, was in a really bad mood, or both. As reported by www.khou.com:

Police said [David Charles] Patronella [age 56] was driving behind another man southbound on Highway 6 on September 28. When the two drivers reached a light on Westheimer at Briargreen, Patronella allegedly lowered his window and pointed a gun at the other driver. No words were ever exchanged.

Who needs words when you have a gun?

Patronella continued on his way once the light turned green, but the other motorist followed him.

The motorist wrote down Patronella’s license plate number and the address of his home. He then turned that information over to police. The victim said he did not know who Patronella was or why he was upset, but thought it could have been because he was driving slow.

The victim was also able to identify Patronella by a photo lineup created by police.

Are you surprised that a slow driver was so detail-oriented? The Juice would have been surprised had it not gone down this way.

Patronella was charged with aggravated assault. [His] bail was set at $30,000.

You’ll find the source here.

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Without Johnny Law, there would be chaos, right? In this situation, Johnny Law needs to step off. In the Australian city of Whitehorse, little children drawing with chalk in front of a cafe have been deemed to be … taggers! As reported by The Whitehorse Leader:

Children drawing with chalk on a Nunawading footpath have been labeled graffiti artists.

THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

Whitehorse Council has drawn the line over pre-schooler’s scribbles outside White’s Cafe in the Mt Pleasant Rd shopping strip.

Sally White, who runs the family-friendly cafe with husband PJ, said she was told by a council officer that the children’s drawings were graffiti and had to stop, after a complaint from a resident.

A single complaint? Was it the nature of the drawings?

Mrs White, who has boys aged three and four, said the cafe had allowed children to draw on the footpath of the quiet shopping strip for the past 12 months.

She said the drawings were usually stick figures, scribbles, fish or pirates.

Nunawading artist and author Lucienne Noontil, a cafe regular, said she could not believe anyone would find them offensive. “I love the drawings and seeing the kids be creative,’’ she said.

First Tunisia, then Egypt, Wisconsin, Bahrain, Yemen, Syria, and now … Nunawading!

Ms Noontil said stopping the drawings would dampen the strong community spirit of the cafe.

Mrs White said she and the children were all in tears when told the drawing had to stop so they had decided to still allow it.

HELL NO, WE WON’T … stop letting the children create art that enriches their lives, enriches the community, and harms nobody… But wait! What about the mess?

Mrs White said they would be willing to wash the drawings off each afternoon when they shut or apply for a permit from council if that was relevant.

Curse you, reasonable lady! But Johnny Law is unmoved by any of this.

Council’s general manager corporate services Peter Smith said the drawings were in contravention of council’s Local Law No. 1 2006 and the state government’s Graffiti Act 2007.

“No matter the age of the person, drawing on public property is considered graffiti,’’ he said.

Let it go, Pete. Let it go. That appears unlikely.

Mr Smith said the council would be obliged to issue a compliance notice if the drawing continued or if a further complaint was received.

Silly complainer. Silly Council. If you’re ever in Whitehorse, make sure you patronize White’s Cafe, because Mrs. White is certainly deserving of your support for her pro-children, pro-art, anit-stupidity stance.

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The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer. Nevertheless, it’s obvious that you can’t steal your own stuff. But you can fake a burglary. The question is, why would you? As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Police said they responded to the 11 Cranberry Lane home of Theresa Cantella, 25, on Jan. 15 and found her lying at the bottom of a flight of stairs. She said she suffered injuries after interrupting a burglary and was assaulted by an intruder.

Police said in a release that a subsequent investigation did not match evidence at the scene with Cantella’s original statement.

Uh-oh.

During a follow up interview at the Brookline police station, “Cantella confessed she fabricated the story, caused injury to herself and staged the scene at her residence to make it appear as if she walked in on a burglary in progress,” the release said.

Okay. Why would you do that?

She did not give a reason why she fabricated the story, police said.  She was charged with making a false report and is scheduled to appear Feb. 4 in Milford Circuit Court.

What? You’re leaving us hangin’? Here’s the source, with Ms. Cantella’s mug shot.

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Stealing snack food may be sweeping the nation. The Juice will monitor the situation and keep you posted. The latest installment, which involves undergarments, took place at a gas station in Valparaiso, Indiana. As reported by nwitimes.com:

Faith Green, 39, of Valparaiso faces theft, public intoxication, resisting law enforcement and criminal mischief charges, while Anthony Green, 23, Joliet, Ill., faces resisting law enforcement and drunken driving charges, all stemming from a bizarre Wednesday morning encounter with police.

Around 3:15 a.m. Wednesday, Valparaiso police reportedly found the Greens, both allegedly intoxicated, inside the Pilot Travel Center, 4105 Morthland Drive.

An employee told officers Faith Green reportedly caused $200 in damage to the gas station’s restroom.

Why? That’s just weird. And then …

As an officer was removing the woman from the store, she reportedly began unloading snack cakes and candy bars from her bra.

There goes the snack in the clink. Or did it …

Police said [at] Porter County Jail … officers reportedly found another pack of cookies in Faith Green’s underwear.

Curse you thorough-searching officer! As for Mr. Green:

Officers said Anthony Green then began cursing at them, before leaving the store and heading back to his SUV. Police said when he was told to stop, he took a fighting stance with officers. He backed down, police said, after they threatened to use a Taser to subdue him.

 

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What, like you never egged anybody or a house? As reported by The Beacon-News:

Written Naperville police reports indicated [Sabrina] Touchstone was arrested about 3:45 p.m. Thursday following an altercation in the parking lot of the Walmart , 776 S. Route 59.

Hmm. An altercation you say.

Sgt. Steve Schindlbeck said Touchstone’s arrest was “the result of a driving altercation” over whether she or another motorist had the right of way in one of the parking lot’s aisles.

Matters quickly “came to a head” when Touchstone allegedly “threw two, 18-count containers of eggs” at two women ages 53 and 20 and the vehicle in which they were traveling, Schindlbeck said. Several of the eggs struck and shattered against the vehicle, and at least one hit one of the women, Schindlbeck said. She was not physically hurt.

Damn! 36 eggs? That must have taken a while.

Schindlbeck said he did not know whether the woman and the woman she was with were related to one another. He also did not know if Touchstone had just purchased the eggs at Walmart.

An examination of court documents revealed Touchstone has received at least 12 traffic tickets in DuPage, Kane and Will counties, but has no criminal record.

Police ticketed Touchstone on a charge of disorderly conduct/offensive act. She is free on bond, and her preliminary appearance date in DuPage County Circuit Court in Wheaton is pending.

You’ll find the source, with a photo of Ms. Touchstone, here.

 

 

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The Juice does not think he’s brilliant, which means, of course, that he is! Flipping the script, this gent was so confident he was smarter than the cops that he actually taunted them on Facebook. Guess how that ended up? Per The Times Leader (Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania):

The Freeland Police Department posted a photo of [Anthony James] Lescowitch at 9:19 p.m. Monday, noting that Lescowitch, 35, was wanted for aggravated assault and numerous other charges. The post asked that anyone knowing Lescowitch’s whereabouts to call police at 570-636-0111 or 911.

It turns out that the person who responded is the only one who ALWAYS knows where Lescowitch is – Lescowitch!

Less than two hours later, Freeland police posted another photo of Lescowitch, this time with the caption: “CAPTURED!!!!!! SHARES OUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK ABOUT HIMSELF, CAPTURED 45 MINUTES LATER.”

So how did they bust him so quickly?

Police said they noticed that Lescowitch shared their post about him on his Facebook page minutes after they posted it on theirs, and that he taunted police in his post as well. So, undercover officers used a Facebook profile of a fictitious attractive woman to engage in online conversation with Lescowitch through Facebook, pretending to be interested in meeting him.

Lescowitch initially declined an offer to meet for a drink, but when an officer asked him where he was and said, “The least you can do is come out and have a cigarette with me,” Lescowitch agreed, police said.

Sure enough, when undercover officers pulled up in a car at the location he specified, Lescowitch came out and was promptly arrested.

Bam!

Freeland police said they wanted Lescowitch for an assault back in the summer, and he had been ducking them since the fall. He was also wanted by Luzerne County Probation.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr.Lescowitch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Had this gent known the consequences, his fingers probably would have been a lot stickier. As reported in the police log at Lancasteronline.com:

EPHRATA: Donna L. Strickler, 51, of Ephrata, was charged with felony retail theft after failing to pay for $10.32 worth of merchandise on Jan. 15 at the Walmart in Ephrata Township. Prior retail theft convictions caused the crime to be graded as a felony.

That’s got to hurt.

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You’ve never been a dog or cat person. No, you have always been drawn to purebred miniature Vietnamese potbellied pigs. But folks in so many places just don’t understand. Well, in Atlantic Beach, Florida, you’ll fit right in. Check out this portion of the municipal code on animals:

Sec. 4-7. Keeping or maintaining certain animals in the city.

(a) It shall be unlawful for any person to keep or maintain horses, mules, cows, cattle, chickens, poultry, or goats in the city, except for in special events, as approved by the city manager.

(b) It shall be unlawful for any person to keep a hog or hogs upon any property or premises located within the limits of the city, with the sole exception of a bona fide, purebred miniature Vietnamese potbellied pig which is kept for the sole purpose of providing human companionship and which is in compliance with all other applicable provisions of this Code. Miniature Vietnamese potbellied pigs may be kept as household pets under the following conditions …

Welcome! (You can find the rest of this code section – and there is a lot – here.  Click on “Chapter 4 – Animals” then “Article 1″ then Sec. 4-7. )

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You just can’t go around arresting people for cussing, or you may be ponying up, as this Georgia city discovered. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Community activist Mary Kirkendoll grew so frustrated with Smyrna’s town hall question-and-answer session, she stood up and began to leave. Before she got to the door, she turned toward the audience and uttered a profanity. “This is [expletive],” she said during the April 21, 2009, meeting. “They are never going to tell the truth.”

Really, AJC? You can’t say “bullshit” when it’s a direct quote that’s at the heart of the story? Anyway …

Kirkendoll was immediately put under arrest and then jailed for more than two hours. Later, she filed a federal lawsuit, alleging her free speech rights had been violated and that she had been falsely arrested and imprisoned.

What did this lulu cost the city? (Fine. What did it cost the city’s insurance carrier…)

This week, the city’s insurance carrier agreed to pay $85,000 to Kirkendoll to settle the litigation, city spokeswoman Jennifer Bennett said. The city was not involved in the carrier’s decision to settle, she said.

“I hope that the city and mayor got the message and that no one else will ever be arrested for simply speaking out during a public meeting,” Kirkendoll said Thursday. “I am certainly thankful the lawsuit is over and that I have finally been vindicated.”

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Is it unreasonable to think that a thief would want to know what he is stealing? Not this guy. Apparently any old box will do. As reported by khou.com:

A Manvel homeowner’s security cameras helped lead police to the suspect accused of stealing a package from their front porch.

Manvel police arrested Matthew Holbert Friday and charged him with theft of property.

Police beileve he is the thief who stole the package minutes after it was delivered to the Royal Palms neighborhood.

The security cameras were rolling when the suspect drove up, walked toward the house and ran back to his car with the package.

Great plan! Follow the UPS truck and just pick up whatever is being delivered.  And wouldn’t you at least look for security cameras? It’s not like they’re that rare. Here’s the source, with photos of the perp in action.