Squeezed on:

zombie
Due to the success of The Walking Dead, zombies are in. Nevertheless, they are not real.  As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter (Williamsburg):

A drunk man with a vision smashed up several storefront windows while raving about the coming zombie apocalypse, cops said.

The visibly intoxicated man broke into one of the businesses in the Shops at 240 Kent complex last week through an unlocked door, stole a fire extinguisher, and used the device to bash the windows, according to the authorities.

Squeezed on:

dogs puppies dog
People are always going on about how loyal dogs are. Well, I’ll will go with this guy over the loyalest of dogs. Why? Well, as reported by The Colorado Springs Police Department:

On Saturday 03/21/2015 at approximately 0123 hours, Officers were dispatched to the 2100 block of Eddington Way reference an animal complaint. The reporting party advised that he had shot three pit bulls that were attacking his dogs. Officers arrived on scene and found the three pit bulls deceased in the RP’s garage. Investigation revealed that the pit bulls entered the garage from the back yard via a dog door and attacked the RP’s dog. The RP, who was asleep inside, heard the commotion and went to the garage. He then retrieved a handgun and shot the three pit bulls.

Yes,  your author is also wondering what three pit bulls were doing just roaming around the neighborhood.

Squeezed on:

short shorts
Sure, it seems like a stupid defense. But it does seem to work every now and then. Anyway, as reported by The Florida Times-Union (at jacksonville.com):

A Jacksonville police officer disciplined for a widely circulated picture of him in uniform closely embracing his girlfriend is in trouble again.

This time Officer Irving Diaz let a “scantily” dressed woman in “short shorts” drive his police car to a Southside Hooters in October.

Squeezed on:

cans beer
You may like shopping at Walmart. You may like working there, or you may have no choice but to work there. But if you think they give a damn about their employees, spend 30 minutes on the internet and you’ll learn otherwise.  The Juice can understand an employee doing something unwise to try to protect his benevolent boss’s business. This clearly doesn’t fit in that category. As reported by wftv.com:

A Walmart manager had an unexpected ride down a Florida Interstate in the back of a truck after he tried to stop a man and woman he suspected of shoplifting beer late Monday afternoon.

First mistake: chasing someone down for beer! What if they turned around and shot him? It’s just beer!

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
The Juice has come across some strange fetishes in his thousands of posts over the years. This may be the strangest yet, as reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer.

The Mayfair Town Watch reported yesterday on its Facebook page that the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” has been terrorizing neighborhood women.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Squeezed on:

red light traffic
Following the law is important. This includes all of them, not just the traffic laws … As reported by The South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

Two Broward County traffic judges dismissed 24,000 pending red-light camera ticket cases Monday, ruling that the program violates Florida law.

Fines from those citations, which came from nearly every city in the county, would have amounted to more than $6.3 million, with each ticket at $264.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

facebook
You lose varying amounts of privacy by being on Facebook, but you can lose a lot more. Just ask this gent.  As reported by The Daily News (Galveston County):

Police say a man’s Facebook posts led to his arrest for allegedly stealing an SUV valued at $38,000.

Doh!  Exactly what breadcrumbs did they follow, you might wonder?

Posted in: and
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

one hundred dollar bill
Have you seen a hundred dollar bill lately? You can’t just photocopy copy them. This gent went to a little more trouble than that, but not enough! As reported by stlouis.cbslocal.com:

A former Belleville resident is accused of passing fake $100 bills at St. Clair Square mall.

Fairview Heights Police say they arrested 29-year-old Corey Wilson of Chicago on three counts of forgery and delivering forged documents.

Squeezed on:

police car cop
Regular Juice readers would not be surprised to hear about someone hiding drugs in a body cavity. However, the circumstances of this perp’s secreting of the drugs are a bit unusual. As reported by northjersey.com;

Borough police who stopped a man and his pregnant passenger on a minor motor-vehicle violation Friday suspected there were drugs in their car.

But they didn’t find anything until they viewed videotape taken by a surveillance camera which caught the woman in the back seat of the police cruiser shoving what turned out to be 89 bags of heroin into a body cavity, police said.

Squeezed on:

infidelity cheating adultery

If France is on one end of the spectrum, Kuwait is at or near the other end when it comes to adultery. As reported by The Arab Times:

The Criminal Court sentenced a Kuwaiti man and a female compatriot to two years in jail with hard labor and immediate execution for committing adultery. It has been reported the husband of the woman told investigators his wife left the marital house and lived in a private apartment after having a quarrel with him. While he was monitoring her acts, he found out she spent the night in an apartment in a nearby building. He then suspected she was committing adultery and results of the investigation proved his suspicion true.

Two years! Hard labor!

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated: