Legal Juice

I don't think Michael Spillman, Jr., of Mansfield, Ohio, will be stealing anything anytime soon. He was at the home of Jacqueline Champion and Bernard Demuth when they left for a funeral. When they came home, Spillman was gone, and so was $2,200 in gaming equipment. As reported in The Mansfield News-Journal:

"[Ms. Champion] got onto his MySpace page and invited him to a cookout," the detective said. "Their plan was to call the police so we could arrest him."

Hey, plans change.

After leading Spillman to the basement, Demuth reportedly clubbed him in the back of the head with a leather-covered baton, causing his head to split open. Parrella said Spillman required six staples to close the wound. The suspects reportedly beat and kicked Spillman for some time, breaking his arm.

Ouchee! After Spillman confessed, and promised not to disclose the beating, they dumped him at the police station. He confessed to the police - and told them about the beating. Champion and Demuth were arrested and charged with felonious assault and kidnapping. Here's the source.

Daniel Ranallo can tell you, because he did it in Phillipsburg, Pennsylvania, and got busted. As described by Judge Pursel, per The Morning Call:

This is a bizarre case where the defendant was wandering around with a gun looking for someone and firing the gun in a public place.

So what do you get for that? A scolding? Community service? No such luck for 21-year-old Mr. Ranallo. He got oe year in jail. You can read more (just a tiny bit) here.

So maybe it's only a little strange that 65-year-old Tad Gunter is living with his 85-year-old mother, Margery Gunter. Actually, it's really nice if he's taking care of her. What do you think, nice or strange?

Margery Gunter told deputies that her son, Tad Gunter, has been acting weird for the past month, according to an arrest report. She told deputies that her son sits in the living room and fondles himself sexually five times a day in front of her.

Shazam! I guess you could say the day was going along like any other [at least for the past month] until Ms. Gunter messed with her son's routine. She asked him to refill a prescription for her, and he wigged out, throwing a bottle of laundry detergent at her. Then, as reported by the Naples Daily News,

A witness, Ruel Montez, grabbed Margery Gunter, brought her to the kitchen and locked the door. Tad Gunter began yelling and throwing things around the room, reports said.

Mr. Gunter did not take kindly to police intervention.

When a deputy arrived, Tad Gunter told him to leave, put his hand on the deputy’s chest and pushed him, authorities said. During a confrontation, the deputy pushed Tad Gunter to the floor. When he tried to get up while swinging his arms and kicking his legs, the deputy drew his Taser.

Don't tase him, bro!

When Tad Gunter attempted to kick the deputy, the deputy deployed his Taser, striking him with a five-second jolt. During the struggle the deputy gave Gunter two more five-second jolts until one of the Taser’s probes fell out, report said.

When Gunter continued to struggle, the deputy delivered two three-second shocks by placing the Taser against his calf, the Sheriff’s Office reported.

Is this dude shockproof? Nope.

After he was handcuffed Tad Gunter apologized for his behavior.

Um. Er. Uh. Sorry. (Here's the Naples Daily News story.)

Actually, "hot" and "warm" revenge didn't work out too well either for David Alan Hawkins, who had the misfortune of trying to develop a condominium project when the Savings and Loan crisis hit in the 1980s. He lost his financing, and the project, with the collapse of Queen City Savings and Loan. And, as reported by the Seattle Times:

To add insult to injury, Hawkins won a $3.5 million jury verdict against the S&L, only to have it stripped from him by a judge over a technicality — a move that outraged the jurors who had awarded him the money, according to court documents and news accounts from the time.

How would Hawkins get even?

For years, Hawkins sought justice, using increasingly confrontational and bizarre tactics that included placing invalid liens on the homes of those he blamed — including bankers, judges and lawyers — and filing so many lawsuits that he was banned from filing documents in King County in 1994.

You know it's bad when you are banned from filing documents with the court, a fate usually reserved for pro se prisoner plaintiffs. Fast forward to the present. Hawkins ratcheted the revenge WAY up, with the help of attorney Harry Skeins Jr. They were "selling" the homes of people involved in Hawkins' misfortune 25 years ago (e.g. Judges, lawyers, a bank executive). Just one problem - they had no interest in the homes! How did they do it?

Hawkins and Skeins set up a fake title-insurance company and convinced lenders that they held legitimate liens on the homes of their victims. An Atlanta lender gave them more than $1.5 million for the sale of homes belonging to a state appeals court judge and a bank executive ...

How did they get busted?

... the men were arrested in 2006 after a judge's wife questioned a real-estate appraiser who showed up at her home one day, according to court documents.

The time? Four years in prison, and about $1.6 million in restitution. Here's the source.

So no matter what happens, the lesbians win! Actually, that's not true. The Lesbians might win. What the hell am I talking about? Three Greek women who live on the island of Lesbos filed suit against the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, per the AP, claiming that its name "insults the identity" of the people of Lesbos.

Please! Even assuming the Lesbians defeat the lesbians, what about the other, um, BILLIONS OF PEOPLE who will still use the word "lesbian" as a synonym for a gay woman? What's next, Lesbos v. Rest of World? Ladies, you can't unring the bell. You can't put the genie back in the bottle. (Help. Any more trite phrases to express this?) Here's the AP story.

So said Plaintiff's attorney Rob Serafinowicz in a case now being tried in the Waterbury Superior Court in Connecticut. The case involves allegations by Neil Perrotti that, when he was 17 years-old, former Middlebury First Selectman Edward B. St. John sexually assaulted him. As reported in the Hartford Advocate:

[Serafinowicz asked] Judge Jane S. Scholl to force St. John to submit to a photograph of his penis, fully aroused.

Why would this be relevant?

Serafinowicz explained that the photograph was crucial to his case because Perrotti, in a statement he gave to State Police about the alleged incident, claimed that St. John’s penis bent to the left when aroused.

What arguments did Serafinowicz advance in support of this request?

“It would seem Mr. St. John would want to do this to set the record straight,” said Serafinowicz without a hint of sarcasm.

Serafinowicz also offered to drop the whole matter if St. John would just admit that his penis is bent when in a state of arousal. “Then this is moot.”

What do you think the judge decided?

Continue reading "Bent Penis Is Key To Case?" »

Yes, this is the subject of a lawsuit in Arizona. Nathan Thinnes sold his house to Glenn Melton, who bought it for his daughter, Kelly Zegers. Thinnes did not disclose that his neighbor was a REAL problem. When Melton discovered this, he asked Thinnes to take the house back, which he refused to do. An added twist, both seller Thinnes and buyer Melton are in the real estate business! So why is the neighbor a problem? As reported in The Arizona Republic:

One day, Melton's wife went to visit Zegers and witnessed the neighbor's behavior firsthand. When she called police to ask if there were any complaints, the officer found so many that he asked if the address was an apartment complex.

Shazam! An apartment complex? Must be a big number.

Melton learned that the neighbor had called 911 hundreds of times, saying that people were breaking in, or that her sister was shooting poison at their elderly mother's legs. Once, she met police at the door while holding a shotgun.

You might wonder "Was this still going on at the time of the sale?"

And just days before closing the house sale, the former owner called the police after he and his dog were pelted with potatoes the neighbor was throwing at unseen intruders in the oleander bushes between the two yards.

[After the shotgun encounter] the neighbor was handcuffed and taken away in a squad car and stayed away until after Zegers moved in.

Oops. How are things going now?

"She screams and yells at people that are passing by," Melton said. "When my daughter's in the backyard, the neighbor's yelling at her and making verbal threats."

The case is pending in the Maricopa County Superior Court. To read more, click here.

At least, don't fall asleep in Melissa Nadeau's class. Why not? Just ask Vinicios Robacher, a 15-year-old student in Danbury, Connecticut. When Vinicios crashed, Ms. Nadeau allegedly awoke him by slamming [the palm of] her hand down on his desk so hard that it injured his left eardrum! The boy's parents have filed papers with the Danbury town clerk, as the AP reported, which is "a prelude to a lawsuit." Here's the source.

A fella in Palo Pinto County Texas, known as "Bayou Bob," has been arrested for selling alcohol without a license. Not just any alcohol, mind you, but vodka with a rattlesnake in every bottle. It helps that Bob Popplewell is a rattlesnake rancher. When the police raided his ranch, they found 429 bottles of vodka with snakes in them. Bob's defense? It's an "ancient Asian elixir" that's medicinal, so it's not bootlegging.

How did he get busted? A complaint prompted an undercover buy. Who complained? Bayou Bob thinks it's the "tree-huggers." Why? Per the Star-Telegram:

Popplewell got crosswise with animal-rights groups last year when he shipped thousands of turtles to Asia, where turtle meat is considered a delicacy. He said the same "tree-hugging" activists are now pressuring the TABC to go after him.

Bayou Bob has vowed to fight all of the charges. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Actually, Dayton, Ohio resident Tony Henderson only thought the woman he propositioned was a prostitute. Actually, she was a police officer. So what happened that fateful night in April 2006? As reported by the Court of Appeals of Ohio, Dayton Police officer Dyan Briggs was working as a prostitution decoy. She testified that

Mr. Henderson asked me if I was working, to which I replied I was. Mr. Henderson then stated, come on, and motions for me to follow him back across the street ... And I said what do you want. And he said I want to make love. And I said, okay, you want to have sex. What do I get. He said what do you get. I said, yeah, what do I get.

A fair question, but it raised a red flag for Mr. Henderson.

"He's like man, you sound like a cop. [Walk away, dude. Walk away.] I was like I'm not a cop. And he's like, well, I got some candy. [Doh!] And I said you have candy. And he said, yeah, I got candy. And I said what kind of candy do you have. He said bubble gum. I said what flavor. He said bubble gum. I said is it grape or what. And he said it's strawberry. I said is it sugarless.

Mr. Henderson apparently grew tired of the chit-chat.

"And he's like, fuck you. And I said, you offered me candy. And at that point Detective St. Clair drove up in his car and I believe he placed Mr. Henderson in a set of handcuffs."

Snap! Busted for soliciting a prostitute by offering a stick of gum! Fast forward: Mr. Henderson is before a Judge, and arresting officer Raymond St. Clair testifies:

I asked Mr. Henderson why he asked her, being Officer Briggs, for sex, and Mr. Henderson replied because she's a whore. And I asked why did you offer her bubble gum for sex, and Mr. Henderson replied because I have no money."

Click here to find out the judge's decision.

Continue reading "What Happens If You Offer Gum To A Prostitute?" »

Nor would you want to be, because many folks have died with lower blood-alcohol levels. Would it surprise you if a fraternity was involved? Or pledges? Five hours of drinking? Me either. Pledges to Beta Theta Pi at Lehigh University in Pennsylvania kicked off the pledging season with a bang. The brothers made sure of that. As reported in The Brown and White, the school's paper:

After dinner, all members of the pledge class were taken into the party room and offered shots of Old Crow whiskey for about one and a half to two hours. They were then taken into the chapter room and given champagne to drink out of the "loving cup," which is a ritual at the fraternity, according to a police affidavit.

Shots of whiskey for 1.5 - 2 hours? It's no wonder, then, that one of the pledges had a blood-alcohol level of .505, more than 6 times the level of legal impairment (.08) in Pennsylvania! Incredibly, the kid didn't die, though he and another pledge (.31) were in the hospital, unresponsive and breathing through ventilators. (Last year a Rider University student with a .426 blood-alcohol level died.)

What happened to the brothers? Per The Brown and White:

The hospitalizations, along with 14 citations for alcohol-related offenses that night resulted in Beta Theta Pi fraternity being suspended by both the university and its national headquarters. Of the 14 citations, 11 were given to freshmen for underage drinking.

Following the incident, Beta President, Andrew Edmonds, '09, was charged with one count of furnishing alcohol to a person who is under 21. As president, he is responsible for activities that occur at the fraternity.

Here's the link to the article from The Brown and White.

So Sheila Brooks of Indianapolis put her one and three-year-old children in a tub with 9 inches of water and left the room to get some clothes. Per The Indianapolis Star:

"Daesheana [Brooks' seven-year-old daughter] stated that they were in her mother's bedroom watching American Idol on TV for several minutes and her mother suddenly stated that she forgot and left the two youngest children in the tub," Officer Gustavia Dodson wrote in the report.

Ms. Brooks then dashed into the bathroom, right? Wrong.

Brooks told Daesheana to take the children out of the tub, police said. Daesheana found Sirius submerged and called for her mother.

She was so busy watching "American Idol" that she sent her seven-year-old daughter to get her one and three-year-old kids out of the tub. The three-year-old child, Sirius, is in critical condition. Needless to say, Ms. Brooks' other four children were removed from her custody. Here's the article.

Damn! As reported by the AP:

A man fighting with his girlfriend clung to a car roof and punched her through the window as she drove more than a mile on a busy road, hitting several other cars, police said.

Both were hurt in the brawl Saturday and were arrested, police Sgt. Manfredo Figueroa said.

The man, William Kremer, apparently jumped onto the car and held on as girlfriend Stacey Sperrazza wove along Route 202 with the car's air bag inflated, police said. She eventually stopped the car and hit him with it, police said.

Sperrazza, 37, of Stony Point, was arrested on a felony charge of reckless endangerment. Kremer, 42, of Haverstraw, was arrested on a misdemeanor assault charge.

He was treated for a foot injury, she for eye and head wounds, police said.

I'm guessing there won't be any make-up sex.

If nothing else, that's gotta bring some seriously bad karma. As reported by the AP,

Police [in Rogers, Arkansas] are conducting an internal investigation into an allegation that a lieutenant used his stun gun to shock a cow and shared a videotape of the incident with other department employees.

Police Chief Steve Helms said Tuesday the inquiry began after he received a complaint from the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. A letter dated Feb. 11 from PETA representative Stephanie Bell complained that Lt. David Mitchell filmed himself using the electronic stun device on the cow.

Bell said in the letter that Mitchell distributed the video as a joke among friends and co-workers and she notes that animal cruelty is a misdemeanor crime in Arkansas.

Helms didn't immediately return a call for comment on Wednesday. City Attorney Ben Lipscomb said Tuesday that the alleged incident happened 2 1/2 years ago, which would be beyond the statute of limitations for misdemeanors. Lipscomb said there would be no point in pursuing a criminal investigation.

Helms said a captain in the department will conduct the investigation and Mitchell will remain on regular duty.

Yup, according to a Staten Island judge. As reported by the AP:

The ruling this week lets stand charges that a 16-year-old broke the law when she sent friend requests on the social networking site to a woman and her two daughters.

Criminal Court Judge Matthew A. Sciarrino Jr. ruled that even though MySpace users can ignore, deny or block friend requests, "that request was still a contact, and no contact was allowed" by the temporary order of protection.

The defendant is charged with misdemeanor second-degree criminal contempt; a trial date has not been set. Her attorney has declined comment.

So this 52-year-old dude was growing pot in the loft of a house he owned with a 59-year-old woman. She dropped by the house to tell him to kill the weed. An argument ensued, after which she tried to tear down the wall that partitioned off the weed room. Uh oh. The dude [the couple is not identified "for legal reasons" per the Bundaberg NewsMail] went ballistic.

The woman testified that he grabbed her from behind and "... picked her up and dangled her over the loft's staircase before throwing her down the stairs."

"All of a sudden my body was looking down (from the top of the stairs). I was terrified," the woman told court. "He smashed my body with full force down the stairs. There was nothing I could do."

Then he took her to the hospital, right? Not even close.

While outside she was allegedly punched several times and made to wait for hours before the man carried her by wheelbarrow to his car. The man then allegedly drove her to the Bundaberg Courthouse and made her wait in the car before taking her to the hospital.

You'll never guess what he was doing at the courthouse. He was filing for a domestic violence order! She required immediate surgery for a fractured femur, after which she spent 8 days in the hospital, and a month in a wheelchair. The case is now in trial. Here's the source.

Anthony Rentas, husband of Attorney Kathy Brewer Rentas, was sentenced to 90 days house arrest for violating his probation. Call it a hunch, but I don't think Ms. Rentas was thanking Assistant U.S. Attorney Jenifer Keene when she shook her hand after the hearing. Here's what went down, as reported by the AP (and brought to the Juice's attention by Ms. Cindy Hill):

A court security officer reported that Brewer Rentas shook Keene's hand so forcefully that the prosecutor's arm was nearly ripped out of its socket.

"With Keene in hand, Brewer made an upward, then a quick downward motion and pulled Keene toward the ground moving her forward, almost causing Keene to fall to the ground," Deputy U.S. Marshall Robert Kremenik Jr. wrote in an arrest report.

The consequences?

Brewer Rentas spent a night in jail and was freed Friday on $100,000 bail. She was ordered to stay away from Keene and undergo a psychological evaluation to determine whether she needs counseling.

"Assaulting a federal officer is something that we will take very seriously and prosecute vigorously," said Alicia Valle, a U.S. Attorney's Office spokeswoman. "As a member of the bar, she should know better." Indeed.

Especially if you're doing it with a random nude body and your ex-girlfriend's head. Rustan Ang now knows this. As reported in the Philippine Daily Inquirer:

The Court of Appeals has affirmed a four-year prison term, P100,000 fine ($2,470 U.S.) and mandatory psychiatric treatment for a man who threatened to spread a pornographic picture with his ex-girlfriend's face on it after she rebuffed his attempts to rekindle their relationship.

... On June 5, 2005, Ang sent her a picture through her cell phone of a nude woman with her legs apart. The face was hers. The day before, Ang, who is married, asked her to be his textmate but she refused.She said her face was apparently lifted from a photo taken with Ang when they visited Baguio during their three-month relationship.

Ang warned her in a subsequent text message that it would be easy to post the pornographic picture on the internet, and asked if she wanted him to send more lewd pictures of her.

So she went to the police, and Ang was busted. He was found guilty of violating the Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act. Four years in prison! To read more (just a little) click here.

I think Representative Borris Miles will have a tough time explaining this (as reported by The Houston Chronicle):

... in December ... Miles crashed a party at the posh St. Regis Hotel. Party host David Harris said a drunken Miles shocked guests with loud, profane language before planting a Godfather-style "kiss of death" on his cheeks [and tried to grab his groin, per Mr. Harris], handing him a pistol and declaring,"You don't know what I'm capable of doing."

After proclaiming himself a "gangsta," Miles then allegedly kissed a female guest on the lips while her husband was away from the table.

Shazam! What came of these incidents?

Prosecutors are scrutinizing the episode. Meanwhile, the female recipient of Miles' unsolicited smooch filed a lawsuit seeking $1 million in damages and demanding the lawmaker be tested for HIV. A hearing is set for Feb. 15.

To read more (a lot) click here.

What would you do if your dog ate the food off your plate? Me and Devin Shane Calhoun, well sir, we'd shoot him. (Note to PETA, truly, I like dogs.) As for Mr. Calhoun, of Conifer Colorado, he definitely does not. As reported by UPI:

A Conifer, Colo., man faces up to 18 months in jail and a $5,000 fine after he pleaded guilty to shooting a dog for taking food from his plate.

A spokeswoman for the Jefferson County District Attorney's Office said Devin Shane Calhoun pleaded guilty to animal cruelty and prohibited use of a weapon, the Denver Post reported Tuesday.

Court documents quoted family members as saying Calhoun became enraged after the family dog, Lucky, took food from his plate while the man was outside. He then took the dog outside and shot him.

Lucky survived his gunshot wound. Calhoun is scheduled to be sentenced on March 12.

Lucky Lucky. I wonder how dog-shooters are treated in jail?