Legal Juice

After this experience, it's hard to imagine any of these young men snorting anything again, EVER. Although they thought they were snorting drugs, turns out they were snorting dogs and a man. Yes, you read that correctly. As reported in The New York Post:

Waldo Soroa, 19; Matrix Andaluz, 18; Jose Marrero, 19; and two juveniles broke into a house in Florida, spotted white powder in two urns, decided it was coke or heroin, and promptly began snorting it, officials said.

... the "drugs" turned out to be the cremated remains of homeowner Holli Tencza's dad and her two Great Danes.

The [young men] said they eventually realized their mistake, and had a brief attack of conscience.

They talked about returning the ashes that were left, but then they decided their fingerprints would be pulled off the urns, so they dumped the evidence in a nearby lake.

You are a 77-year-old man, unloading groceries from your car, when a guy comes up to you with a gun, demanding that you empty your pockets. You do it, right? Not if you are Pat Gillespie of Flint, Michigan. As reported by mlive.com:

Gillespie had a bag with a two-liter of Pepsi, and he took a swing and hit the man. The man got a shot off, hitting Gillespie in the groin.

The man, who was with another male, ran off empty handed.

“I didn’t want to give them nothing.”

...Gillespie was taken to the hospital but later released.

There was little appearance that he was shot, other than a hospital wristband. He said he feels fine, although he is just a little sore.

Like everyone else (except the perps), The Juice is pleased when drunk drivers make things easy for the fuzz. As reported by The Beacon-News (Illinois):

A 43-year-old Oswego woman was charged with drunken driving after police responded to calls about a woman throwing up out of her car at 6:40 p.m. Monday near Ashlawn Avenue and Circle Drive West, Oswego police said. Officers found the car driving in the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street. Tessy Callas, of the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street, Oswego, was also charged with illegal transportation of liquor, police said.

Selina Nieto, 33, of the 200 block of Abbeywood Lane, North Aurora, was charged with drunken driving last week after police were called for a woman asleep at the gas pumps in the 500 block of Montgomery Road, police said Monday.

Perhaps the only time it's safe to laugh in open court is when the judge does. A North Carolina man thought otherwise, and paid for it in a big way. As reported by The Fayetteville Observer:

A Cumberland County judge didn't find it funny when a man kept laughing in her courtroom Friday.

Judge Toni King asked Johnny Montgomery, 47, what was so amusing. According to the Sheriff's Office, Montgomery told her, "It's none of your business."

[Judge] King ordered him removed from her District Courtroom. As deputies searched Montgomery, they found more than 3 grams of crack cocaine on him, Sheriff's Office said.

Now [Mr. Montgomery] is charged with felony possession of cocaine. [He] ... was taken to jail where his bail was set at $1,500.

How can The Juice be so certain that Jennifer Bibby, a 63-year-old neighborhood watch leader will catch the person who vandalized cars in her neighborhood? Because she did it! CCTV may be intrusive, but it doesn't lie. As reported by swns.com:

Police officer’s widow Jennifer Bibby, 63, is an upstanding churchgoer and well-respected as a neighbourhood watch leader in a tight-knit community.

But she has been arrested and cautioned for criminal damage after being caught on CCTV attacking the cars of neighbours Clare Leverton and Suzanne Hoole.

Clare had suffered a number of vandalism attacks over recent years and believed hooded yobs were responsible for the latest damage, which occurred on Bonfire Night.

But Clare was stunned when the CCTV system she installed to catch the culprits spotted Jennifer covering the vehicles with flour and eggs.

Single mother-of-two Clare, who runs Attitudes Hair and Beauty in Hoddesdon, Herts., admitted she was ”shocked” when she saw Jennifer on the footage.

Clare, 44, said: ”The vandalism had been going on for years at my house so we decided to put up some CCTV cameras as a last resort.

”She denied everything to the police until they said ‘you are on CCTV’ and then she admitted it."

Or else what? If you don't follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), Kenny gets it.

And don't forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

When you get excited, you sometimes forget things. Even when you're robbing a bank? As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

The heist happened around 9:45 a.m. at the Citibank branch, 539 N. Michigan Ave., police said. A man walked into the bank and told a teller he had a bomb in a bag he was holding and demanded the teller stuff cash into it, police said.

But then the man left the bag behind with the cash, police said.

FBI officials said there was no bomb found and no one was injured.

The man is described being between 6 feet 2 and 6 feet 3 inches tall and clean shaven. He was wearing a baseball cap and wore one blue latex glove.

Of all the places he could have picked, check out where this gent chose to expose himself, as reported by phillyburbs.com:

A man exposed himself to a woman inside the Bucks County Association for the Blind.

Newtown Township police said the incident occurred about 2 p.m. Friday inside the bookstore at the offices at 400 Freedom Drive.

The woman told police the suspect is a skinny, black male, between 35 and 45 years old, about 5 feet 10 inches tall and was wearing a black track suit.

Officers checked the area along with Newtown Borough police and could not find the suspect.

Seriously, are you ever going to escape from the police armed with a dildo? From The Chicago Tribune:

Carolee Bildsten, 56, of Gurnee, will plead not guilty next month to accusations that she charged an officer with the "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device" described in a police report, defense attorney Neil Calanca said.

A former police officer, Calanca said the officer involved in the incident "should be ashamed of himself," and that he would have been embarrassed to include such information in a police report. Gurnee police Cmdr. Jay Patrick countered that such reports "are required to be a factual account of an incident."

The alleged assault occurred when the officer went with Bildsten to her apartment in the 5300 block of David Court on Nov. 9 after employees at Joe's Crab Shack in Gurnee accused her of dining without paying for the second time, according to Patrick.

Bildsten reached into a dresser drawer for what the officer thought was money to pay her bill, but instead pulled out the "pleasure device," police allege. The officer deflected the sex toy with his hand, and he was not injured, Patrick said.

Along with the aggravated assault charge, Bildsten is scheduled to appear in court on Jan. 27 on the Crab Shack-related theft of services charge and an unrelated charge for aggravated driving under the influence of alcohol.

Kids play. Balls go into neighbors' yards. No big deal, right? Normally, yes. Here, it was a BIG deal. As reported by the Flagler County Sheriff's office:

A 56-year-old Palm Coast man was arrested Tuesday evening and charged with three misdemeanors after deputies said he fired a gun after a basketball rolled into his yard.

Deputies responded to 80 Providence Lane around 8:22 p.m. after several residents called to report hearing a gun shot in the area. Theodore Van Beveren was arrested at his home on charges of breach of peace, culpable negligence and discharging a firearm while under the influence of alcohol.

A 16-year-old witness said he was playing basketball at his home on Providence Lane when the ball rolled over into the yard of Van Beveren.

Van Beveren, according to deputies, was sitting inside his garage. He walked out of the garage as the juvenile walked over to retrieve the ball. It was at that time that Van Beveren walked down the driveway with a firearm and fired once into the ground. The juvenile told deputies he ran away from the man and was not injured.

Deputies found two fully loaded firearms in the garage. They were located on separate tables alongside the chair where Van Beveren was sitting.

Deputies said the homeowner appeared to have been drinking and a half empty bottle of vodka was found next to the chair. He refused to take a breathalyzer measurement. The firearms were taken into custody by the deputies.

Van Beveren was released from the Flagler County Inmate Facility after posting $750 bond on the charges.