Legal Juice

Sure, the First Amendment permits you to yell at police officers, and even flip them off. But in most cases, they're doing their job, and doing it within the law. And even when they're not, you should consider your own circumstances before opening your yap. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

Niceville Police officers were investigating a case of underage smoking on Reeves Street when the man [age 21] and two of his friends "began hollering and asking questions about what I was doing," the arresting officer wrote in his report.

The men consented to a pat-down and an officer felt two objects in one man's pocket. The man said one of the objects was a lighter. The other he identified as a pipe he uses to "smoke weed." 

He was charged with drug equipment possession and marijuana possession. His court date is Dec. 4.

Rule number one: Make sure the getaway car has enough gas to get away! Rule number two: Don't commit your crime in full view of surveillance cameras. A man in Albany, Georgia broke both rules, and will no doubt pay a hefty price. As reported by WALB:

An Albany car dealership has a big mess to clean up. Thanksgiving night a man broke in to the Five Star Nissan showroom, stole a vehicle, and shattered glass windows as he drove right out the building.

He ran out of gas in Early County though [and was hanging out by the car!] and is now in police custody.

The weapon of choice? An umbrella. The location of the attempted robbery - a Burger King drive-thru! As reported by The Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana):

According to Allen Superior Court documents, [Amanda M.] Ringler [27] pointed an umbrella at an employee through the drive-thru window and demanded money. The employee hit the restaurant’s panic alarm, and Ringler drove off empty-handed, though witnesses notified police of her car’s description.

... Ringler, of Payne, was charged in March with attempted robbery. Last month, Ringler pleaded guilty to attempted theft.

Allen Superior Judge John F. Surbeck sentenced her to three years in prison, but ordered Ringler to serve 183 days, while he suspended the remaining two years and 182 days. Surbeck also ordered Ringler to serve one year of probation.

If a store won't take your fake hundred ... just go to the next one, and the next one ... As reported by Lancasteronline.com:

Toni Lyn Miller, 32, of Sinking Springs, passed a fake $100 bill at one outlet store and tried in vain to pass a similar bill at four other outlet stores, East Lampeter Township police Lt. Robin Weaver said.

In each incident, the she selected an inexpensive item to receive a large balance of change in return.

Police charged Miller with five counts of felony forgery, four counts of misdemeanor criminal attempt at theft by deception and one misdemeanor count of theft by deception.

She was arraigned on the charges and committed to Lancaster County Prison.

It's unclear what it will take for this Maine woman to understand that "911" is for emergencies. Check out the series of events, as reported by The Bangor Daily News:

Shirley Isacson, 66, “placed 10 calls to 911 in just over an hour” Friday, he said. “She was not reporting any type of emergency.”

The calls started at around 4:15 p.m. Friday and after being warned several times to stop calling for help if she did not need it, Isacson was given a ticket charging her with misuse of the emergency 911 system.

At around 10:30 p.m. Sunday, Belfast Police Department officials called Old Town to say they had received a call from Isacson’s number and the woman wasn’t making sense. While en route to her home, Old Town police got a second call from Maine State Police barracks in Orono saying they received a similar call.

... Isacson called 911 to say police were at the door harassing her ...

An hour later she called the non-emergency number for the Old Town Police Department and when police arrived ...

... she called 911 to say police were again at the door harassing her.

In fact when police told her she was under arrest, “she tried to call 911 again,” Casey said.

Isacson was arrested and charged with misuse of the emergency 911 system and taken to Penobscot County Jail in Bangor, where she remained Monday night, a jail official said.

As Police Cmdr. Kelly McMillin said: "you couldn t make up something stranger than this." So here's what happened, per knbc.com. Old Edward Bishop went and stole himself a pickup truck. Not so exciting, but ...

...while [Mr. Bishop was] sitting outside a convenience store, a man with a gun hopped in and ordered him to start driving.

The pickup ran out of gas and the gunman ordered Bishop to get out and push, but Bishop ran away and called police.

Hell, The Juice himself is not the most patient driver. Suffice it to say that, if his car were miked, there would have to be a serious delay, with someone's finger always on the button. But this dude in Houston? He either has an incredibly short fuse, was in a really bad mood, or both. As reported by www.khou.com:

Police said [David Charles] Patronella [age 56] was driving behind another man southbound on Highway 6 on September 28. When the two drivers reached a light on Westheimer at Briargreen, Patronella allegedly lowered his window and pointed a gun at the other driver. No words were ever exchanged.

Patronella continued on his way once the light turned green, but the other motorist followed him.

The motorist wrote down Patronella’s license plate number and the address of his home. He then turned that information over to police. The victim said he did not know who Patronella was or why he was upset, but thought it could have been because he was driving slow.

The victim was also able to identify Patronella by a photo lineup created by police.

Patronella was charged with aggravated assault. [His] bail was set at $30,000.

If given the choice, an overwhelming majority of kids would choose not to go to school, ever. But you gotta go, something this kid is learning the hard way. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A 13-year-old boy [from Niceville!] was arrested Nov. 8 and charged with battery after an argument about him going to school turned physical.

The boy hit his mother in the chest when she tried to get him into the car to go to school, according to his NIceville Police Department arrest report.

He then threw pine cones and sticks at his father, the report said.

After being read his rights, the boy told the officer he didn't want to go to school and his mother tried to make him go by applying a pressure point behind his ear. That's when he hit her, the report said.

The boy was arrested and taken to the police department. From there, he was transferred to the Department of Juvenile Justice, the report said.

Really? You're going to use a taser (in the back!) on a guy who posed NO THREAT to anyone? Have you read the manual? Even used properly, people die, Jack. Think about it.

For more taser posts, scroll down a bit, and enter "taser" in the "Search This Blog" box.

Why shouldn't you mess with the the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection? Here's why: They "fined a Marshall Township man more than $100,000 for destroying two acres of wetlands to build a recreational pond." As reported by timesonline.com (Beaver, PA):

The DEP announced Wednesday that Francois Bitz, 52, of 1640 Pleasant Hill Road has agreed to pay a $137,800 fine as part of a consent order for violating the state’s Clean Streams Law and the Dam Safety and Encroachments Act.

Bitz also will pay recovery costs and oversight fees to the DEP and the Allegheny County Conservation District, the state agency release said.

From 2009 to 2010, without necessary permits, Bitz excavated approximately 2 acres of wetland and impacted about 1,100 feet of stream while constructing a pond on his property, the DEP release said.

The DEP said it issued two compliance orders to Bitz in July 2010 after inspections revealed he had excavated portions of a stream channel of an unnamed tributary to Big Sewickley Creek, which is classified as a trout-stocked fishery. The agency said Bitz also disturbed significant portions of earth in the surrounding wetlands without developing an erosion and sediment control plan, which could lead to pollution in the stream.

The agreement stipulates that the restoration of the property must begin within two months and be completed within six months of the permit being issued, the release said.

In 1990, Bitz and three colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University co-founded Fore Systems, a Marshall-based technology company that had its first major success when it landed a contract to develop computer network switches for the Navy in 1991.