Articles Posted in Yikes

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drunk drink glass martinin
Lots of people drink too much. Some people go on crime sprees. Not too many people do both simultaneously. Added to the list – a gent from from Wasilla, Alaska. Per The Alaska Dispatch News:

A 27-year-old Fairbanks man faces multiple charges after he robbed a Wasilla coffee stand, pulled a gun on another man, fled from authorities at high speed and drunkenly exposed himself along the Parks Highway, Alaska State Troopers say.

In an online dispatch, troopers wrote that a woman called authorities after she arrived at work around 5:15 a.m. Thursday at the coffee stand, on the Parks Highway at Vine Road. She found a man stealing money and other items from the stand, troopers said.

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speedometer speeding
What’s worse: A suspect gets away, or an innocent person is injured or dies during  a car chase to apprehend the suspect? The latter, of course.  But if you’re on the lam, don’t you now have an incentive to punch it? As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat:

The man who led police on a high-speed chase earlier in the week still has not been located.

Stephen K. Anderson, 34, whose last known address was in the 3400 block of Hollywood Heights Road, has been charged with aggravated fleeing and attempting to elude a police officer by the St. Clair County State’s Attorney’s Office.

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smart phone smartphone
You may think that this could not happen in the United States. You would almost certainly be right. (The “insulting words” were not disclosed.) It happened in the United Arab Emirates. As reported by

The Federal Supreme Court has ordered a retrial for a man convicted of swearing at a colleague in a WhatsApp message, after prosecutors said the fine handed out was far too lenient. The Arab was fined Dhs3,000 by a court of first instance but prosecutors appealed the verdict, saying he should face a fine of up to Dhs250,000 or imprisonment.

The UAE’s most senior court backed prosecutors in a judgment issued this week.

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dentist dental mouth
Nobody just walks into a dentist’s office and does this, except this guy. As reported by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

King County prosecutors claim James Pfitzner, Jr., provided his name, date of birth and Social Security number to an office manager at Aurora Dental Care, located in Seattle’s Greenwood neighborhood. Pfitzner, 43, is alleged to have started masturbating moments later.

Describing the May 20 incident, a Seattle Police Department detective said the office manager then shouted at Pfitzner and called 911. Police responded but couldn’t find Pfitzner.

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chicken chick
Did you have any idea that there are almost 5,000 KFCs in China? Yup, and they are owned by YUM Brands, who takes rumors about their food very seriously. As reported by

The fast food chain KFC is to sue three Chinese firms it accuses of using social media to spread false rumours about its food, including that it used eight-legged chickens.

KFC is seeking compensation of 1.5m yuan ($242,000, £159,000) and an apology.

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grandma grandmother granny
Hey, if you make a threat and you don’t follow through with it, people won’t take you seriously, right? Sure, but maybe you shouldn’t make the threat in the first place. As reported by

Madison County Sheriff’s Office investigated an animal cruelty call in Godfrey, Ill. Monday night.

Cat lovers might want to skip this post and come back to Legal Juice tomorrow.

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baby boy
… a turkey baster. This is a good example of why you put things in writing. People rarely think things will go wrong, especially when dealing with friends. But making babies is serious stuff, and should be treated accordingly as the mother in this case now appreciates. As reported by Virginia Lawyers Weekly (via ap):

A woman who used a turkey baster to impregnate herself is on the losing side of a legal battle over parental rights.

You really can’t make these cases up. If you tried, people would say “That’s absurd! That would never happen!”

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Missy, I am crossing you off my list of babysitters! What did this woman do to deserve such a fate? Plenty, as reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News.

A Crestview woman is accused of picking up a knife and ordering a child she was babysitting to “go outside,” leaving the child afraid and crying.

The child, whose age is not reported, walked .5 miles to a friend’s house, crying and upset, on March 31, according to the arrest report. Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies were called around 5 p.m. by the friend’s mother.

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palm tree
A cautionary tale: If anyone offers you flakka, DON’T TAKE IT! As reported by

A Florida man believed to be high on flakka, a drug that authorities say is sweeping the state, attacked a Brevard police officer after twice being shocked with a Taser while he repeatedly saying he was God, according to officials.

Kenneth Crowder, 41, of Melbourne, was arrested Friday on charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting with violence and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer.