Articles Posted in Say What?

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door bell doorbell ding dong ditch

There can’t be many boys out there who never played “doorbell ditch.” A few Missouri boys have definitely played this game out. In fact, they may never ring ANY doorbell again. As reported by The News-Leader (news-leader.com:

Police say the boys angered the female resident to the point that she tried to run one down with her van, punched another three times while holding a knife to his chest and threatened to kill the boys and others, all while shouting racial slurs.

Ashley D. Crossland followed one boy to the house where the boys were having a sleepover, police say, and illegally entered the home. Confronted by a father of one of the boys, Crossland allegedly “threatened to slit his throat and everyone’s throats in the house, including the babies.”

You can read a lot more, and see the perp’s mug shot here.

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ball and chain

Had this gent known the consequences, his fingers probably would have been a lot stickier. As reported in the police log at Lancasteronline.com:

EPHRATA: Donna L. Strickler, 51, of Ephrata, was charged with felony retail theft after failing to pay for $10.32 worth of merchandise on Jan. 15 at the Walmart in Ephrata Township. Prior retail theft convictions caused the crime to be graded as a felony.

That’s got to hurt.

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police department

If you want to get the police department’s attention, there are other ways. This way, though, will definitely work! As detailed in the Colorado Springs Police Department blotter:

On 01-09-14 at approximately 0756 hours, officers from the Sand Creek Division were dispatched to the Brunswick Zone, 999 N Circle Drive regarding a robbery. The investigation revealed an unknown male entered the business and verbally threatened the victim to open the cash register. The victim was unable to comply compelling the suspect to leave the area. The suspect is described as a white male in his mid- 30s, approximately 5’7 with a thin build, short blonde hair with a goatee, wearing a large black jacket and jeans. The investigation is continuing.

He got away! Or … did he?

***UPDATE***
On 01/10/2014 at approximately 12:51am, the Colorado Springs Police Department received a call from the pay phone at the 7-11 at 995 N. Circle Drive. The caller, later identified as 36 year old Paul Harrill, advised that he was upset that police had not come when he had attempted to rob the Brunswick Bowl earlier. Officers responded to the scene and located Harrill a short distance away from the 7-11. The investigation revealed that Harrill was upset with police officers and firefighters over a disturbance that he had been involved with on the evening of 01/09/2014. So a couple of hours later, he had called the police from the 7-11 pay phone complaining about the contact. When officers did not come to talk to him as soon as he wanted, Harrill went and attempted to rob the Brunswick bowl to get officers attention. When officers did not locate him after the attempted robbery, he was even more upset so he called back again on the morning of 01/10/2014. Harrill was booked into the El Paso County Criminal Justice Center on the charge of Attempted Robbery.

Think he’s satisfied with the police response now?

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swiss cheese

The Juice has come across some strange fetishes in his thousands of posts over the years. This may be the strangest yet, as reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer.

The Mayfair Town Watch reported yesterday on its Facebook page that the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” has been terrorizing neighborhood women.

Yes, you read that correctly.

According to the group, the suspect, a heavyset white man estimated to be in his late 40s or early 50s, approaches women while driving a silver or black sedan with his genitals exposed. He then displays a piece of sliced Swiss cheese and offers to pay the women to put the cheese on his penis and perform sexual acts on him using it.

All together now: Ewwwwww!

“I understand that people may think this is funny, but this is no laughing matter,” said Milt Martelack, the town watch’s senior adviser. “We’ve had a couple individuals reach out to us. We’re taking this matter very seriously, and we’re working vigorously with police to get this guy off the streets.”

A police source yesterday confirmed that the Special Victims Unit is investigating the man after several women from the Mayfair area filed reports describing similar encounters with a man displaying what the source called a “major sexual cheese fetish.”

Hmmm. This sounds familiar …

And although news of the bizarre case shocked many Mayfair residents, Gabby Chest – who lives in nearby Bridesburg – recognized the behavioral pattern instantly.

In July 2012, Chest, then 19 and having just broken up with her boyfriend, created a profile on the dating website OkCupid.

Within days, she said, she was contacted by a “really strange guy,” who sent her a private message that detailed a very specific request.

“He said he was looking for someone to perform masturbation on him with cheese,” Chest said. “He kept saying how strong his urges were and how desperate he was to find someone to help him with them.”

An excerpt from that message, which Chest sent the Daily News, details the origin of the man’s self-described “fetish.”

“I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more,” he wrote.

“That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.”

It’s not surprising, then, that Chest recognized the man who had contacted her as the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” as soon as she saw his picture on the Mayfair Town Watch’s Facebook page.

“There’s no doubt it was him; it looked exactly like the picture on his profile,” she said. “I was scared and shocked. I never thought the guys you see on those sites would be so close to me.”

Yikes. You can read more here.  (The haven’t caught him yet.)

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pizza

Doesn’t everyone like pizza? Well …

A Central Texas man has been accused of stabbing his girlfriend after she brought home pizza instead of a chicken sandwich he wanted for lunch.

McLennan County jail records show Michael Corsey of Waco was being held Saturday on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Online jail records do not list bond or an attorney for Corsey, who was arrested Friday.

Waco police say Corsey allegedly grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed the woman because he had asked for a chicken sandwich, but she brought home pizza. Police say the victim was also choked and struck in the face.

Investigators say the woman, whose name wasn’t immediately released, was treated for minor injuries.

Ouch. You’ll find the source, on www.nbcdfw.com, here.

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divorce

You can’t make this stuff up. Well, you could, and people would say “no way would that ever happen.” As reported by The Independent:

A British woman attempted to sue her former lawyers for professional negligence, claiming that, alongside a number of other allegations, they failed to advise that finalising divorce proceedings would inevitably cause her marriage to end.

And you call yourselves lawyers!

The curious case – made against two solicitor firms – had already been rejected by the court, but was revealed in the transcript of a later appeal by the claimant against the dismissal of other aspects of her case.

Jane Mulcahy had argued that the lawyers should have made it clear that a divorce would cause her marriage to be terminated – something which she apparently wanted to avoid.

The lawyers failed to regard her Roman Catholic faith and should have recommended judicial separation – a step down from full divorce – as an alternative course of action, she said.

The allegation was revealed in a subsequent appeal court judgment last month, in which Lord Justice Briggs said: “The most striking of Mrs Mulcahy’s many allegations of negligence against her solicitors was that, having regard to her Roman Catholic faith, Mrs Boots had failed to give her the advice which was requisite in view of her firmly held belief in the sanctity of marriage…

“…either in terms of the alternative of judicial separation, or about the impossibility of pursuing divorce proceedings to a clean break settlement, without thereby inevitably bringing about the final termination of her marriage, which she wished to avoid.”

As you might have guessed …

The appeal was also dismissed.

Here’s the source.

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burglar burglary

If you decide to burgle, there are so many options. In deciding where to steal from, wouldn’t you consider retribution from the owner if you are caught, either in the act, or after the fact? Of course you would … unless you are these guys. As reported by the Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Cody L. Procasky, 19 of Fayetteville, and Chase A. Ripley 17, of Freeburg, were each charged with one Class 2 felony count of burglary. Each had their bail set at $30,000.

You know the burglars. So who did they burgle?

According to the St. Clair County Sheriff’s Department, the teens broke into the [Okaw North Hunting Club near Mascoutah] Dec. 15 and took a large amount of alcohol personal items from inside the club in the 10000 block of Buddy Funk Lane.

A hunting club! You know, a club whose members, at least based on the name, probably all have guns!

Members of the club spotted a suspicious vehicle at the site and called the sheriff’s department. That allowed the crime to quickly be solved, St. Clair County Sheriff Rick Watson said.

They’re lucky they only got arrested. Here’s the source.

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atm machine

The Juice has blogged about people stealing entire ATMs before. But this? As reported by thebrooklynpaper.com:

A lowlife swiped thousands in cash from a Third Avenue money machine on Dec. 27 — then doused the dollar dispenser in chlorine, cops reported.

Security cameras caught the villain breaking open the automatic teller between 79th and 80th streets at 3 am and taking $8,000 from inside — before pouring bleach all over the machine, cops said.

Who knew? Looks like at least one ATM manufacturer has some retooling to do!

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beer

You may like shopping at Walmart. You may like working there, or you may have no choice but to work there. But if you think they give a damn about their employees, spend 30 minutes on the internet and you’ll learn otherwise.  The Juice can understand an employee doing something unwise to try to protect his benevolent boss’s business. This clearly doesn’t fit in that category. As reported by wftv.com:

A Walmart manager had an unexpected ride down a Florida Interstate in the back of a truck after he tried to stop a man and woman he suspected of shoplifting beer late Monday afternoon.

First mistake: chasing someone down for beer! What if they turned around and shot him? It’s just beer!

The manager, Mike Dawson, said he noticed the pair leaving the Titusville, Fla., store with a shopping cart containing beer. He said when he asked for a receipt, the two headed for their truck.

“I had asked them for a receipt and they kept throwing beers into their car,” said Dawson.

As the two began to back up and leave the parking lot, Dawson said he was forced to jump into the back of the truck.

Forced?

“I ran up to get their license plate, but when I realized how close I was, I jumped in the back so they didn’t run me over, ” Dawson said.

Doh!

The truck traveled along several streets and at high speeds down I-95. Dawson said the two stopped the truck twice.

“One time they tried to beat me up and I lost my glasses. The second time was in the back woods somewhere, I was like, ‘I’m not getting out for you to run me over,’” said Dawson.

So how did he escape?

Dawson said he used the only thing he could to try to get someone’s attention – the stolen beer.

“I kept throwing beers from the back of the truck, not at people’s cars but towards people’s cars, hoping that someone would call the police,” said Dawson.

Enter our hero.

Witness Dave Stewart said he saw the truck turn down a remote road in Brevard County, Fla. “Well, I just saw all the beers alongside the road,” said Stewart.

Stewart said as he caught up to the truck, it stopped. He said he had his gun on his hip, ready to use. He told the driver of the truck that he had called the sheriff.

“The gentleman in the back got out, and as soon as he did, the other guy jumps into the pickup truck and just leaves,” said Stewart.

So the pursuit of some stolen beer could have turned into a shootout…

Dawson said the man who stole the beer had a tattoo on his chest that read either 1987 or 1997. The pickup truck was blue with LH as the first letters on the license plate.

Investigators are still looking for the pair. They said they are checking to see if they are the same couple believed to have stolen beer from a Palm Bay, Fla., Walmart recently.

Still, nobody got the full license plate! Here’s the source, with a video news story.

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motorized grocery cart

Motorized grocery carts are very useful for certain folks while doing their shopping. But outside of a grocery store, what would anyone use it for? The police may have asked Mr. Wedding that question, among many others. Per wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

According to an arrest report, an officer saw 19-year-old Anthony S. Wedding driving the [motorized] grocery cart on the sidewalk near the corner of New Cut Rd. and 3rd St. Rd., just before 3 a.m. Wednesday.

Police say the officer stopped Wedding to talk to him, and Wedding allegedly told the officer that the nearby Kroger said he could drive the motorized cart home.

“Sure, Mr. Wedding, take the cart for as long as you need it. Oh, and the groceries are free today. So take them too.”

The officer contacted representatives of Kroger, who denied giving Wedding permission to take the cart and accused him of stealing it, according to the arrest report.

Why, you might wonder, did Mr. Wedding do it?

Wedding allegedly smelled strongly of alcohol, had bloodshot eyes and slow speech. Police say he admitted to drinking half a pint of alcohol earlier in the day.

Big shocker there.  What were the charges?

Wedding was charged with theft by unlawful taking, alcohol intoxication in a public place and giving an officer a false name or address, according to the arrest report.

Dude is damn lucky he didn’t get a drunk driving charge too. Seriously. Regular Juice readers know this has happened when drunk folks have “driven” similar vehicles. Here’s the source, including Mr. Wedding’s mug shot.