Articles Posted in Say What?

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zombie

Due to the success of The Walking Dead, zombies are in. Nevertheless, they are not real.  As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter (Williamsburg):

A drunk man with a vision smashed up several storefront windows while raving about the coming zombie apocalypse, cops said.

The visibly intoxicated man broke into one of the businesses in the Shops at 240 Kent complex last week through an unlocked door, stole a fire extinguisher, and used the device to bash the windows, according to the authorities.
Health Quest

“It is a zombie apocalypse,” the 38-year-old man screamed, according to a police report.

Shops at 240 Kent, which sits on the avenue between Grand and N. First streets, contains several clothing boutiques, shared office space, and a sex toy shop.

Police charged the man with criminal mischief and trespassing.

Of course he was drunk! A sober person would remember that it would be difficult to kill a zombie with a fire extinguisher, although you could bash in it’s head …

 

 

 

 

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one hundred dollar bill

Have you seen a hundred dollar bill lately? You can’t just photocopy copy them. This gent went to a little more trouble than that, but not enough! As reported by stlouis.cbslocal.com:

A former Belleville resident is accused of passing fake $100 bills at St. Clair Square mall.

Fairview Heights Police say they arrested 29-year-old Corey Wilson of Chicago on three counts of forgery and delivering forged documents.

Officers say they recovered counterfeit bills from eight stores where Wilson paid for small purchases and got a large amount of change back.

Detectives found the bills were actually $5 notes that were washed and reprinted as hundreds.

A St. Clair County judge set Wilson’s bond at $50,000.

Strangely enough, the bond was posted in cash, all hundreds! (No, it wasn’t.)  Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

 

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lab laboratory

Yes, they did find it in a Walmart bathroom. What was it? Well, per fox59.com:

According to a Walmart spokesperson, an associate noticed a man walking through the store with a backpack just before 11:30 p.m. at the Walmart in the 1500 block of E. 29th St . The associate recognized the man, and said he had been in the store a number of times before to buy stuff related to making meth. The associate notified police who were already at Walmart. Police followed the man, and he went into the bathroom. A short time later, the man came out of the bathroom without the backpack.

Members of the Pendleton District Meth Suppression Team were called to the Walmart to investigate the suspicious backpack left in the restroom. When troopers arrived, they discovered the backpack had an active meth lab inside.

Alrighty then. Here’s the source.

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laundry drying clothes line

The word “locals” is used, which means that more than one person thought this item was an Isis flag. You’ll wonder about that too when you look at the picture (not the one above – the one at the link below). Anyway, as reported by thelocal.it:

Police were called to an apartment block in Porto Recanati, on Italy’s eastern coast, after locals raised the alarm that an Isis sympathizer may be within their midst.

The officers searched the building and questioned residents, but were unable to recover the mystery black cloth spotted hanging from a tree next to the apartment block.

On further investigation police discovered that the supposed propaganda tool was nothing more than a jacket, swept into the trees after being hung out to dry, Corriere della Sera reported on Wednesday.

You can see a picture of the jacket, and read a little more, here.

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neighbors neighborhood

Aspen, Colorado is not a place you would normally find this kind of bizarre conduct.  No place, though, is immune from Juiecworthy behavior. As reported by The Aspen Daily News:

An Aspen Village man faces multiple felonies after he allegedly went into his neighbor’s home twice, poured out liquor bottles, threw away food and moved the man’s truck into his own driveway.

William Hallisey, 58, is charged with felony counts of burglary, robbery, criminal trespass, aggravated motor vehicle theft and two misdemeanors.

Say what? It’s even weirder than it seems, with Mr. Hallisey referring to himself as “the prophet.” You can read a fair amount more here.

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disc golf

There’s a certain part of Helena, Montana where – let’s just say if you’re going there, LEAVE YOUR DISC AT HOME, lest you be accused of folfing.  You really don’t know what “folf” means? Well, as defined by the Helena Montana Code, folf is “A game formally called disc golf. It is played with golf discs and simulates the game of golf in accordance with the rules of golf on a course usually containing nine (9) to eighteen (18) “holes” or “tones”. The holes or tones are predesignated stationary targets. The purpose of the game is to hit each of the targets with the golf disc with a minimum number of throws.”

But you can’t just folf anywhere. No sir.

5-13-2: FOLFING PROHIBITED:

No person shall play or engage in the game of folf or throw a golf disc at nighttime in any area within the business improvement district that has not been sanctioned as a designated folf course by the city. (Ord. 2797, 6-23-1997)

Son, you have been warned. And if you don’t heed, well here’s what.

5-13-3: PENALTY:

Any person violating the provisions of this chapter is guilty of a misdemeanor and may, upon conviction, be punished by a fine not to exceed five hundred dollars ($500.00) or imprisoned in jail for a term not to exceed six (6) months, or both.

Can you imagine someone actually getting 6 months in jail for playing disc golf? Here’s a link to the Helena, Montana Code.

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middle finger flip the bird fuck you

You probably already guessed that the country in question is not the United States. The country is Turkey.  As reported by todayszaman.com:

The case was opened by former Justice and Development Party (AK Party) deputy and lawyer Süleyman Sarıbaş. In a leaked recording of a phone call that was made as part of the corruption investigation, Cengiz, of Cengiz Holding, which has received lucrative state tender contracts, such as for the third airport, was heard using extremely vulgar language with reference to the nation and the public. Sarıbaş sued Cengiz for TL 10,000 over the businessman’s comment to his friend, “We will f–k this nation,” referring to the people of Turkey. An İstanbul court on Tuesday decided Cengiz must pay TL 8, 000 in compensation.

Sarıbaş has promised to use the money awarded in the lawsuit to sponsor a new ablution area and bathroom for the mosque in his hometown.
“I went to the mosque in my village in December. The ablution room and bathrooms were in very bad condition. I called on the imam and the villagers and said that once summer comes, I will have new ones made. The project plan was prepared the other day, and now his [Cengiz’s] money will go where it belongs,” Sarıbaş said.

Following the court decision, Sarıbaş also said that any citizen could sue Cengiz for his profanity targeting the nation in order to punish that kind of mentality.

Any citizen can sue? It sounds more like “this nation” is going to “f–k” him! Here’s the source.

(Legal Juice is brought to you by Washington, DC personal injury lawyer, and bicycle commuter, John Mesirow.)

 

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cosmetics makeup make-up

Who says crime doesn’t pay? It paid awfully well for this family. The operative word is “paid” because the jig is up! As reported by NJ Advance Media for NJ.com:

Three members of an Edison family have been sentenced after guilty pleas in a cosmetics counterfeiting ring that earned them hundreds of thousands of dollars, according to Middlesex County Prosecutor Andrew Carey.

Shazam!

Jorge Robles, 51, was sentenced to five years in prison after he pleaded guilty to second-degree counterfeiting. His ex-wife, Ana Del LaMota, 45, was sentenced to three years of probation and will have to pay restitution for third-degree counterfeiting. Their daughter, Rossy Robles, 23, was admitted into pre-trial intervention after a guilty plea on third-degree counterfeiting. She has to remain out of trouble and keep a job for three years.

So what was the scam?

They imported hundreds of pounds of fake Chinese cosmetics and sold them as Make-up Art Cosmetics brand, the prosecutor said. MAC is part of the Estee Lauder company. The family then sold the counterfeit cosmetics to retailers in New York with the business name Baby Castle. Rossy Robles had her own separate Internet retail business, the prosecutor said.

Click here for the source.

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Hand holding mobile smart phone

The “selfie” craze was crazy even pre-Weiner.  This young man took it to another level. As seen and written on khou.com (yes, there’s a video):

Officers pulled over 17-year-old Kenneth Davis around 4 a.m. Monday in a truck, police said, was stolen.

Okay, he’s in some trouble.

After Davis gave officers permission to look at his phone, they discovered several pictures and a video of Davis driving around in another pick-up truck they recognized as stolen.

In the video, Davis appears to be lip syncing to a rap song while it plays in the radio.

“It’s a sign of the times,” said Sgt. John Krueger of the La Porte Police Department. “That’s just a reflection of the younger criminal at this time—they feel comfortable bragging with their friends.”

Police say Davis also admitted to breaking into another vehicle parked off the 8700 block of Collingdale. The teen managed to open the lock but since the vehicle had a club on the steering wheel, he was unable to drive off.

Davis has been charged with two counts of unauthorized use of a motor vehicle and one count of burglary. Police say the pictures on his phone might implicate him in even more crimes.

Now he’s in a lot of trouble. Here’s the source, including the selfie video.

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panty panties

In describing this woman as the “best panty thief ever,” The Juice is talking volume. But volume isn’t everything. You know how athletes are often characterized by their level of field awareness? Well, this woman has absolutely NO camera awareness, which will probably lead to her apprehension. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

A woman pilfered 785 pairs of panties at the Victoria’s Secret at Lenox Square Mall on Saturday, Officer Ralph Woolfolk said Thursday.

The suspected thief put the panties in three shopping bags in a raid on the store lasting two hours and absconded, Woolfolk said.

Retail for the panties was estimated at more than $10,000.

Atlanta detectives hope the public can help and have released surveillance photos of the suspect, described as a black woman wearing a red hat, a white and black T-shirt, a black jacket, blue jeans, and red and white tennis shoes.

Several things come to mind. Two hours, and no store employees noticed anything unusual? 785 pairs of panties worth over $10,000 fit in those 3 bags? Clearly the cost of the fabric is not a factor in determining the cost of the panties.  Or perhaps there is an inverse relationship between the amount of fabric used and the cost.  Click here for the source, which includes multiple photos of Ms. X in action.