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dog nose sniffing
It is abundantly clear that you just don’t mess with Malone. That dog can flat-out smell, as a gent with a full cavity discovered. As reported by kvia.com (El Paso, Texas):

The seizure was made at approximately 1:30 p.m. Monday at the Paso Del Norte pedestrian crossing. A 35-year-old U.S. citizen from El Paso entered the port from Mexico and was selected for a secondary exam by CBP officers. CBP drug sniffing dog “Malone” alerted to the man. During the course of an interview with CBP officers the subject admitted that he had heroin concealed within his body. The subject removed a single oval shaped pellet from an internal cavity. The contents of the 136 gram bundle tested positive for heroin.

CBP officers took custody of the subject and turned him over to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement HSI special agents for arrest. Federal prosecution was accepted and HSI agents booked the subject, Paulo Alfredo Macias, into the El Paso County Jail where he is currently being detained without bond.

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flash
(No, not the kind of flash in the picture above.) Assuming everything this woman says is true, you just have to scratch your head. As reported by www.timesonline (Beaver, Pennsylvania):

The owner of a Moon Township landscaping business has been charged with exposing himself to a female passenger in his car. Moon police have charged 72-year-old Armando Zucchero of 233 Ewings Mill Road, owner of Zucchero Landscaping, by mail with indecent exposure.

So what happened?

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2p two 2 pence coin coins
Actually, madam, your money isn’t good anywhere in the United Kingdom. As a personal injury lawyer, but for his alter ego, this is not something The Juice would normally come across. No doubt Ms. Louise Munro would not have come across a law like the Coinage Act of 1971 either, had she not tried to pay for her gas with, well, coins! As reported by The Liverpool Echo:

Staff at the BP garage in Queens Drive, West Derby, told 24-year-old Louise Munro that they could not accept the 1p and 2p pieces she offered after her bank card failed because of a system failure.

Say what?

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license plate plates
Yeah, yeah. Someone has to review vanity plate applications in every state. Of course, what is approved and what isn’t never seems to make a whole lot of sense. If you want to see A TON of plates requested in Florida and whether they were accepted or rejected, click here. Here’s a sampling, as reported by WTSP.com:

While G8TR H8R, G8TR H8R2, G8R H8, G8RS SUK, and G8R PIMP were all rejected, G8TR HTR was approved in 2007.

While OLD FART was rejected, HORNMAN was approved.

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hundred dollar bill
If a store won’t take your fake hundred … just go to the next one, and the next one … As reported by Lancasteronline.com:

Toni Lyn Miller, 32, of Sinking Springs, passed a fake $100 bill at one outlet store and tried in vain to pass a similar bill at four other outlet stores, East Lampeter Township police Lt. Robin Weaver said.

Shouldn’t have gotten greedy.

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angry anger
Here’s the question The Juice has for the perp: WTF?  As reported by The Herald (Rock Hill, South Carolina):

[According to Rock Hill police], a 44-year-old man texted [Julie] Baker [31] to break up with her this weekend. She then went to his room at Piedmont Medical Center and began fighting the man’s ex-wife.

Say what? First of all, breaking up with someone via text? Say it to her face. And speaking of faces …

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sleep sleeping in bed
Falling asleep on the job is never a good thing.  But if this is your “job”, you are really in the soup. As reported by The Herald-Tribune:

A man burglarizing a Nokomis home passed out on the bed beside a bag of stolen jewelry and didn’t notice deputies taking his picture, according to the Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office.

According to the Sheriff’s Office Facebook page, a cleaning lady discovered Dion Davis, 29, inside her client’s home in the 500 block of Albee Road on Monday, sleeping on a bed with a bag full of stolen jewelry. Deputies arrived and photographed Davis, who did not notice.

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Motorized grocery carts are very useful for certain folks while doing their shopping. But outside of a grocery store, what would anyone use it for? The police may have asked Mr. Wedding that question, among many others. Per wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

According to an arrest report, an officer saw 19-year-old Anthony S. Wedding driving the [motorized] grocery cart on the sidewalk near the corner of New Cut Rd. and 3rd St. Rd., just before 3 a.m. Wednesday.

Police say the officer stopped Wedding to talk to him, and Wedding allegedly told the officer that the nearby Kroger said he could drive the motorized cart home.

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scales of justice out of balance
For this judge, the job is apparently not all about banging away on a gavel and doling out some justice. Although she has only been charged, it’s not looking good. As reported by lancasteronline.com:

A Lancaster city district judge has been removed from the bench after she was charged Monday with a dozen criminal offenses.

The charges relate to District Judge Kelly S. Ballentine dismissing three of her own parking tickets last year and in 2010, according to a police affidavit.

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Walmart sign
Why do so many weird things happen in or around Walmart? Probably because they’ve taken over, and people spend so much time there. Any way, this gent won’t be welcomed in Walmart, or anywhere else, for a spell. As reported by The Herald-Tribune:

A North Port retiree was jailed Wednesday after he masturbated near a woman outside of a North Port Walmart, the city’s police reported.

Ew.