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All parents get mad at their kids. But this? From the Broadview Heights Police Blotter, as reported by the Sun Star Courier at cleveland.com:

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, EAST ROYALTON ROAD: At 6:19 p.m. Thursday, a patrolman went to Marymount South Medical Center for a report of domestic violence.

A 17-year-old girl told the officer she and her mother have not been getting along lately. [A major understatement, as you will soon see.] She said she had just had surgery and is staying at home to recover. She said her mother came into her room and they started arguing.

Allegedly, her mother took her cell phone and the two began to wrestle. The mother reportedly spit in her face, pushed her to the ground and started hitting her, causing her head to bleed.

A 21-year-old sister came into the room and allegedly used her body to separate her sister and mother. Her 17-year-old sister claimed their mother spat in her sister’s face and threw a cat at her before leaving the room.

The 17-year-old eventually locked her mother out of the house and called the police. Her friend’s parents came and picked her up and transported her to the medical center.

The mother is charged with domestic violence. The 17-year-old daughter requested a motion for a temporary protection order.

Threw a cat at her!!! Shazam!

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There is no substitute for proofreading. And to all you kids out there (don’t hate The Juice for saying this) “spell check” is not proofreading. Heresy! But as for the importance of proofreading, check out this story from the Jakarta Globe:

A single clerical error can change the course of one’s life. Just ask Kamjai Khong Thavorn, 53, a Thai national who spent nearly three extra years in the maximum-security Pasir Putih Penitentiary in Nusakambangan, West Java, because of a typing error.

Kamjai was due for release in 2007 after a 20-year sentence he received in 1987 for heroin possession, but up until Wednesday, he was still behind bars. 

Having spent an extra three years in jail for no fault of his own, Kamjai was promptly released on Thursday after a chance meeting with Justice Minister Patrialis Akbar, who happened to be visiting the prison for an inspection. 



“Kamjai was released this morning and taken by immigration officials from Cilacap to the Thai Embassy in Jakarta,” Pasir Putih’s warden, Sutrisman, told the Jakarta Globe. 

Kamjai was arrested in Samarinda, East Kalimantan, on Aug. 20, 1987, for possession of 17.76 kilograms of heroin and sentenced to life in prison. His sentence was reduced to 20 years by a presidential decree. However, the decree mistakenly stated his first year in prison as 1997, instead of 1987.

Sutrisman said no relatives came to pick the inmate up from prison, so the nearest immigration office, in Cilacap, transported him to his embassy. 

“We realized the mistake that was made. So he was released unconditionally and immigration officials accompanied him to Jakarta without waiting for further response from the Thai Embassy,” Sutrisman said. Kamjai was “happy and enthusiastic” as he left the prison, the warden said. 

When Patrialis visited his maximum-security cell on Wednesday, Kamjai used the occasion to complain that he should have been released in 2007. 

Kompas newspaper reported that the minister assured the inmate he would be released the next day, causing Kamjai to burst into tears.

So he would still be in jail if not for this chance encounter. Damn! Here’s the source.

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Here are some interesting excuses offered by speeding drivers, as recalled by a Tennessee judge and some police officers, per The Murfreesboro Post:

… When he asked why she sped, the driver replied, “My colon has fallen in my vaginal canal.” Spence wrote her a ticket anyway. He figured she could bring medical proof to court if she wanted to contest the ticket. She paid it without a hearing.

Smyrna Police Traffic Officer Casey Hughey stopped a speeding driver and asked about the reason for traveling so fast. “My colonoscopy bag is leaking,” the driver replied. “Prove it,” Huey said. When the driver proved his case, Huey simply told the driver, “Have a nice night.”

Murfreesboro Police spokesman Kyle Evans, a former traffic officer, said he stopped a man and inquired about the reason for speeding. “The reason I was going so fast is because I couldn’t see the speedometer,” the driver said. Evans peered inside the car and the speedometer appeared fine. The driver explained. “Sir, I had my head so far up my butt there’s no way I could possibly see how fast I was going,” the driver said. “After a few short laughs and a warning citation, he was on his way,” Evans remembered. “It was the most original excuse I’ve heard in my 10 years as a traffic officer.”

Tennessee Highway Patrol Trooper Kay Peay clocked a man driving more than 100 mph on U.S. Highway 231 South (Shelbyville Highway) one cold morning. “Why are you going that fast?” Peay asked. He replied he was trying to get his window to defog because he couldn’t see. “Let me get this straight,” Peay said. “You’re going 100 mph because you couldn’t see?” “Right,” the driver answered. He got a ticket.

THP Sgt. Rick Smith said he’s had several drivers ride right behind him when he’s driving with his lights and sirens on while responding to an emergency call. In one case, a “silver-spoon-fed 18-year-old driving a Mercedes” chased Smith responding to an crash call. Finally, Smith got behind the driver and pulled him over. The driver complained at the scene and later to Judge Loughry that Smith entrapped him. “He told the judge I said he was a smart a–,” Smith said. “The judge told him he tended to agree with me.”

Say what? Yuk. Nice one. Dork. Mama’s boy. Click here to read more.

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As a bicycle commuter who has been on the receiving end of many unkind words, The Juice can relate to this incident. From the Colorado Springs Police Department Crime Blotter:

Incident Date: April 5, 2010 Time: 4:34:00 PM

Summary: Stetson Hills Officers were dispatched to a weapons brandishing stemming from a road rage situation occurring at the intersection of Old Farm Drive @ Old Farm Circle West. Officers spoke with an adult male victim who reported that he was riding his bike on Austin Bluffs Park Way when he was confronted by a motorist in a red Jeep Cherokee. The victim alleged that the suspect in the Cherokee yelled at him for being in the street on his bike. A short time later, the two came to a stop at an intersection and they engaged in a mutual discussion about the situation. The victim said at some point, the driver of the vehicle displayed what appeared to be a small caliber hand gun. The victim then used his cellular telephone to take a picture of the vehicles license plate. A robbery charge was attached because the victim said the suspect tried to take the phone away from him, so he drove away from the area and called the police. Officers used the license plate information to obtain the suspects address. They responded to 5220 Farm Ridge Place and spoke with 46 year old Curtis Scrivner. Scrivner was contacted in the back yard of his residence. Scrivner was not compliant with the officer’s requests and a brief stand-off occurred. A short time later Mr. Scrivner ran into his house. A short time later, officers made contact with the suspect by phone and successfully negotiated his surrender. Mr. Scrivner was arrested and booked into the criminal justice center for felony menacing and aggravated robbery.

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If you have kids and they never argue with each other or you, call the doctor because something is definitely wrong. But this pre-teen took it to another level. As reported by nwfdailynews.com …

A father tried to give his 11-year-old daughter a time-out, but she ended up getting charged with a misdemeanor [domestic battery].

Around 9:30 p.m. March 24, the girl and her 7-year-old brother got into a fight over who got to sit in a certain chair, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report. The father ended up escorting the girl to her room.

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No, not the kitties! From High Bridge, New Jersey, per the Hunterdon County Democrat (via nj.com:

Three cats were reportedly locked in a freezer and oven during a theft at a Main Street apartment here. The cats were apparently not injured, but electronics and other items were reported stolen, police said.

The burglary and theft was discovered on Friday, March 26 around 5:30 p.m. Someone heard the cats meowing from the freezer and oven and released them, police said.

Now that could have been a LOT worse. Here’s the source.

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A woman in Broadview Heights, Ohio was kind enough to lend a helping hand to the police. Unfortunately for her, the help consisted of literally leaving a trail for the police from the scene of the crime directly to her house. From the police blotter, as reported by The Sun Star Courier:

RECKLESS OPERATION, RICHARD ROAD: At 4:46 p.m. on Saturday, a resident called police because a dark blue minivan hit a brick mailbox. Plastic remnants from the van’s headlight were scattered along the scene.

Thanks to an antifreeze leak, an officer was able to follow a trail to a home on Quail Oval in North Royalton.

A 39-year-old female admitted to striking the mailbox. She struck it hard enough to deploy the airbag.

The woman was charged with operating a vehicle intoxicated, reasonable control and failure to stop after an accident.

Doh. Good thing she only hit a mailbox.

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yellow.jpg Some people, like Principal Ethna Haines, get carried away with their power. Fortunately, the legislative branch is there to keep them in check. The Havant Borough Council has totally BUSTED this crazed megalomaniac for … painting her school to yellow! Before taking this bold stance against colorfulness, people used to ask of the Council, “Haven’t they got anything better to do?” Now we know that they do. This!

Of her outrageous decision to paint a school for 2-9 year-olds yellow, Ms. Haines said: “Other parts of our building are already painted yellow and we use the colour to make the school a bright, positive experience for small children.” Said the contractor who defiled the school: “I think the colour really brightens the whole place up and the children love it.”

Thank goodness for the voice of reason, the Council. Per Council officer Sarah Hain: “The bright yellow colour for the walls seriously detracts from the character and appearance of the conservation area and adversely affects the outlook of neighbouring occupiers.” Mercy! By a vote of 7-5, the Council agreed. Ms. Haines has 4 months to change the color to a dark-stained timber. “Pish,” she said. [not really, but she should have.] She did say that she’s going to appeal the decision, and has no plans to paint the school a darker color. Here’s hoping she wins. To see the school, click here.

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Not only did Adam Michael Kelly “violate” a parking meter, he also cussed out a police officer! Brilliant! As reported by The Cairns Post:

Police were called to a disturbance at the corner of Shields and Abbott streets on August 31 about 8.40pm and found Kelly dry-humping a parking meter and yelling out: “Yeah baby, you know you want it.”

Police prosecutor Sen-Constable Michelle Long said Kelly was making large pelvic thrust actions and officers saw people walking by reacting with disgust at the performance.

This definitely sets a new standard for beer goggles … Although some might find the parking meter behavior humorous, the conduct that followed was extremely offensive:

Then, while talking to police, a woman of Asian appearance walked by and in a loud voice Kelly looked at her and said “fucking gook, fuck off home”, Sen-Constable Long said. [expletives reinserted]

At that point, police arrested the young labourer and took him to the watch-house.

The defense?

Kelly’s lawyer Richard O’Shane said his client had been extremely drunk after an extended binge-drinking session with teammates to celebrate the end of the CDRL football season.

“He can’t remember much of the incident,” Mr O’Shane said.

You know the crime. The time?

…Kelly spent the night in the watch-house … and was fined $150 in court yesterday for causing a public nuisance.

Here’s the source.

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So, it’s 4:30 a.m. in Lincoln, Nebraska, and this guy needed some cigarettes. He was probably drunk (from drinking Bud Light.) Why would I guess that he was drinking Bud Light? Well sir, as reported by the Lincoln Journal Star:

A man who robbed a north Lincoln Kwik Shop on Monday morning brought a disguise — he was wearing a Bud Light box on his head.

The man had a green rag wrapped around his hand, implying he had a weapon, when he entered the store at 4400 Cornhusker Highway around 4:30 a.m. He made off with nine packs of Newport cigarettes, valued at nearly $50, police Capt. Bob Kawamoto said.

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