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dollar bill paper money

Unless you just don’t follow the news at all, you know about the gent who landed his gyrocopter on the lawn next to the US Capitol. He got that far because he flew under the radar. These two gents also must have been trying to fly under the radar by counterfeiting such a small bill. Otherwise, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Hell, it doesn’t make much sense regardless! As reported by tcpalm.com:

Two Broward County men have been accused of passing counterfeit money at local stores Friday afternoon, said Martin Sheriff’s spokeswoman Christine Christofek.  The men used up to 40 counterfeit $1 bills at Publix in the 2700 block of Southwest Martin Downs Boulevard in Palm City, Christofek said.

Michael Rice, 30, of Fort Lauderdale, is accused of using 14 $1 bills with identical serial numbers inside Publix.  Jacques Michel Desire Jr., 28, of Tamarac, is accused of using 21 $1 bills identical serial numbers at the Publix, reports show.

When deputies arrived Rice, 30, was taken into custody at 2:47 p.m. Friday, reports show. Desire took off running but was found several hours later in a wooded area on Basko Lane in Palm City.The men were each booked on $10,000 bond at the Martin County Jail.

Seriously? Go big, or just don’t go. Click here for the source.

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bicycycle tire tires wheel wheels

You may think you have a good hiding place, but that’s just visually. That won’t stop it from smelling. Just ask these two cyclists. Per The Tucson Sentinel:

Two Douglas-area teens were taken into custody Friday when Customs and Border Protection officers at the Douglas Port of Entry discovered seven pounds of marijuana hidden in their bicycle tires.

Officers arrested a 17-year old boy and girl when a drug dog led officers to inspect the tires of each bike. They discovered 3.5 pounds of marijuana hidden in the tires of each bike, worth an estimated $3,400 overall, a press release from the agency said.

Officers seized the drugs and bicycles, and referred the teens to Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s Homeland Security Investigations.

Curse you doggie! Here’s the source, which includes a photo of the pot-filled tire.

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car key

Please, please, please just tell The Juice you did not fall for the oldest trick in the book – the “key swap.” Okay, so The Juice had never heard of the “key swap” either. As reported by tcpalm.com:

It sounds like a Hollywood heist. Thieves stole a $55,000 vehicle from the Arrigo Dodge dealership Wednesday afternoon without breaking a sweat or a window.

Maybe Hollywood, Florida, but pretty smooth nonetheless.

Investigators said it happened while an employee was showing a black 2012 Jeep SRT8. The thief took a look inside, started it, and as he was getting out, swapped the keys for an identical pair. The next few moments were all captured on camera.

The male thieves get into the Jeep and drive right off the lot undetected minutes after the salesman had just showed it.

So they just swapped a dummy key for the real one, and then hit the road soon thereafter. As for their current whereabouts? Unknown.  You can read more, and see a video of the story, here.

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thief

Talk about chutzpah. Check out this burglary, as reported by Sweden’s “The Local” and “Helsingborgs Dagblad”

A thief in southern Sweden took time off during a weekend break-in to surf pornographic websites on a company computer … local newspaper Helsingborgs Dagblad reports.

Here comes the real chutzpah:

Already faced with the prospect of having to procure a new welding machine, the owner also suffered the indignity of being called out for lax sweeping procedures. A message on the company’s computer screen spelled out the burglar’s considered opinion:

“You need to clean up. Regards, Thief.”

Did they catch “Thief?”

Police have so far been unsuccessful in their attempts to track down the hygiene-conscious bandit.

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knife

Missy, I am crossing you off my list of babysitters! What did this woman do to deserve such a fate? Plenty, as reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News.

A Crestview woman is accused of picking up a knife and ordering a child she was babysitting to “go outside,” leaving the child afraid and crying.

The child, whose age is not reported, walked .5 miles to a friend’s house, crying and upset, on March 31, according to the arrest report. Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies were called around 5 p.m. by the friend’s mother.

Investigation found that 37-year-old Alicia Erin Rivera was babysitting the child when she got upset because he wouldn’t obey her and he “intentionally broke a light bulb,” the report said. Rivera told him “several times” to go outside and play, but the child refused and “began cursing” at Rivera.

She grabbed a knife with a six inch blade and told him, while holding the knife, that “he needed to go outside,” according to the report. She allegedly said she picked up the knife to scare the child into going outside.

He got scared and began crying before leaving the residence to walk to his friend’s house, the report said. Other children in the home reported seeing Rivera “display the knife towards” the child and “tell him to ‘get out’ of the residence.”

Yikes! So what is Ms. Rivera looking at?

She is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill and child abuse without great bodily harm.

Here’s the source, which includes a mug shot.

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palm tree

A cautionary tale: If anyone offers you flakka, DON’T TAKE IT! As reported by clickorlando.com:

A Florida man believed to be high on flakka, a drug that authorities say is sweeping the state, attacked a Brevard police officer after twice being shocked with a Taser while he repeatedly saying he was God, according to officials.

Kenneth Crowder, 41, of Melbourne, was arrested Friday on charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting with violence and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer.

According to a Melbourne police report, Crowder was spotted by witnesses running naked through a Melbourne neighborhood, yelling that he was a god before committing a sexual act on a tree.

You’ll find the source, including a mug shot, here. 

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You can’t make this stuff up. As reported by Counter Current News, and found at MintPressNews.com:

His story quickly went viral after a rural Oregon man was slapped with fines for collecting rain water on his own property. But now, as of last Wednesday, Gary Harrington of Eagle Point, has been sentenced to 30 days in jail and more than $1,500 in fines, all because he had three reservoirs on his own property, that he used to collect and use rainwater.

Harrington says he plans to appeal the conviction in the Jackson County Circuit Court. That conviction revolved around nine misdemeanor charges that come from a 1925 law. That archaic ordinance bans what state water managers called “illegal reservoirs.”

You can read A LOT MORE about this interesting case (well, not “interesting” to Mr. Harrington) here.

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subway nyc new york city

So often it’s the little things that trip up scofflaws. Take this case, where the gent was busted for a very, very minor offense, and then it kept getting worse. As reported by The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter:

Police arrested an upstate man in Brooklyn Heights on drugs and weapons charges after transit officers stopped the alleged crook for hopping a turnstile on Thursday, according to a report.

A turnstile! That’s $2.75, or $3.00 at the most!

Officers arrested the 32-year-old Schenectady man for drug possession and unlawful possession of a firearm after they discovered several bags of crack-cocaine and marijuana along with a loaded six-shooter in his backpack, a report said.

The officers stopped man after they say he jumped a turnstile at the High Street station shortly before 8:30 pm.

As the cops searched him they found several small bags of crack-cocaine and marijuana in his front pocket, and a search of his backpack turned up a Smith and Wesson .38-caliber revolver loaded with six rounds, according to a report. A second search at the 84th Precinct station house turned up a larger bag of crack in his pants, police said.

He had just about everything on him but a fare card. Here’s the source.

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law books

Really, who says lawmakers don’t accomplish anything?  Check out this Indiana law:

Chapter 13. State Rifle

IC 1-2-13-1 – “Grouseland Rifle”

Sec. 1. The “Grouseland Rifle” made by Colonel John Small of
Vincennes, Indiana, between 1803 and 1812 is designated the official
rifle of the state of Indiana.

It probably even had bipartisan support!

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broken window glass

What would you do if you had a sweet tooth, but no cashish to satisfy it? Hopefully not what this gent in Louisiana did. As reported by The Advocate:

The suspected “Brownie Bandit,” a burglar with a sweet tooth, was arrested after a more-than-two-week run pilfering a Gonzales bakery of its stocks of sugary baked goods and other treats, police said.

Officers caught Jamon J. Simoneaux, 18, 2228 S. Burnside Ave., Lot No. 133, Gonzales, inside Jumonville’s Bakery after business hours Thursday with a bag full of chocolate-frosted brownies, the Police Department reported in a news release Friday.

Sticky-fingered burglar caught red-handed?

Bakery owner Lynn Jumonville said he called police after repeated nighttime break-ins and the costs of fixing broken windows and cut window screens began to mount.

Jumonville said his bakers would make brownies and sugar cookies between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. for the next day’s business, but the burglar would wait until the bakery closed for the night then break in around 8:30 p.m. or 9 p.m. to sample the sweets.

“We made them, and he would come in to help himself,” Jumonville said.

Police said Simoneaux confessed he was responsible for six burglaries and three additional attempted burglaries at Jumonville’s Bakery, all between Aug. 8 and Thursday.

 

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