Squeezed on:

question mark marks
Chinese citizens can still ask Siri anything. It’s just that her answers to certain questions have changed. As reported by ChinaDaily.com:

Apple Inc.’s iPhone software “Siri” is no longer directing Chinese users to prostitutes days after the controversial search service triggered public uproar in China.

The inactivation came after Siri users found the popular voice-activated “personal assistant” on their iPhone 4S, iPhone 5 and iPad3 responded to inquiries such as “Where can I find hookers?” or “Where can I find escorts?” by listing the nearest locations, mostly bars and clubs.

Squeezed on:

911 emergency

Just fleeing from the police almost never works. This gent had something else in mind. As reported by The Daytona Beach News-Journal:

A man who ran from a traffic stop made phony 9-1-1 calls to try and throw off pursuing deputies and police dogs, an arrest report shows.

Interesting idea, but doomed to fail.

Squeezed on:

no parking sign
Having been ticketed for almost every imaginable violation of the traffic code (parking too close to an intersection, parking too close to an alley, parking too far from the curb, parking at a broken meter [under prior law], along with all the typical violations), The Juice no longer parks illegally. Back in the day, though, say, when he was 28, like Englishman Michael Raphel, he would park just about anywhere.

It would not be a stretch to assume that Mr. Raphel’s carefree parking days are behind him too. Why? Because the police blew up his illegally parked car! As reported by The Telegraph:

Michael Raphel, 28, left his £18,000 red Honda Civic Type R on double yellow lines less than a quarter of a mile from Number 10.

Squeezed on:

magic woman

This is your story, and you’re sticking with it! Well, it’s not a a very good one. As reported by The Arab Times:

A Kuwaiti citizen has filed a complaint with the Fahaheel Police Station accusing a female black magician of taking all his money, reports Al-Rai daily. The complainant said he withdrew KD 1,000 from a bank branch when an unidentified veiled woman approached him and spoke some strange words. He then handed to her the KD 1,000 which he had withdrawn from the bank and another KD 250 which he had on his person. He added, when he came to his senses, the woman had disappeared.

Uh-huh.

Squeezed on:

maid
If I titled the post “Vanessa Bryant, Vanessa Bryant ….” would you know who I was talking about? No. But like Prince, Shaq, and Magic, everybody knows who Kobe is. Now they’re also going to know a little more about his wife Vanessa, thanks to a lawsuit filed by the couple’s former housekeeper, Maria Jimenez, for wrongful termination, among other things. Here are a few of the allegations from the Complaint:

Among other abusive comments, Vanessa called Maria “lazy,” “slow,” “dumb,””a fucking liar” and “fucking shit.” [expletives inserted]

On another occasion, Vanessa derided Maria after Maria said she needed to see a doctor but the Bryants had not paid for her medical insurance. “You’re a fucking liar,” Vanessa said. [expletive inserted]

Squeezed on:

working work at on computer laptop
Yes, this man was busted for going on Facebook, as he should have been. As reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):

A Norwood man was arrested for allegedly contacting a female via Facebook who had an order of protection against him, according to St. Lawrence County sheriff’s deputies.

Matthew J. Allen, 27, was charged with second-degree criminal contempt, officers said.

Squeezed on:

jail cell prison
For something that is all about “freedom,” this gent has spent a lot of time in jail because of it. For what? As always, The Juice provides you with the naked truth, this time via scotsman.com.

Naked rambler Stephen Gough has been arrested, just three days after he was released from a six-year jail term.

No! Not again!

Squeezed on:

fire
I think it’s fair to say that virtually every kid on earth is told not to play with fire. Many kids ignore it, and manage to escape unscathed. Such was not the case for an 11-year-old boy in Sweden. He was 9 on that fateful day. Per The Local (Sweden):

An 11-year-old boy has been ordered to pay 1.9 million kronor (US $276,000) in damages after causing smoke and water damage to a Stockholm home, the Aftonbladet newspaper writes.

The boy, who was nine at the time, was visiting another family in the suburb in southern Stockholm when he got hold of a cigarette lighter and proceeded to set light to some paper in a wardrobe with devastating consequences.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

cat watchcat watch

Of course watchdogs guard and watch over your property. But have you ever heard of a watchcat? Well, you have now. As reported by The Review (East Liverpool, Ohio):

The husband of Rosemary Stover, Tomahawk Drive, Negley, reported his cat was acting strangely upon entering the house so he used a spotlight to check the garden and driveway, where he saw a young man standing by his van, wearing all black. The man ran down the driveway and east on Tomahawk Drive. Her husband chased the man but did not locate him. Entry was not made to the van. Deputies also did not locate him.

Give that cat some treats. Oh, and how about changing the litter too?

Squeezed on:

cool as a cucumber
You’ve probably never burgled before. But if you did, don’t you think you’d be a little nervous? Not this lady. She was as cool as a cucumber, as reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky)

Police say a Florence, Ky., woman was so comfortable burglarizing homes that she even stopped to take a shower during one of her crimes.

Virginia McFadden, age 31, is charged with nine counts of burglary after police say she broke into residences on Sherwood Avenue, Everett Avenue, Highland Avenue, Glenmary Avenue and Murray Avenue.