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Warning: Not safe if you are about to eat.  There are some things you just don’t do in public.  This is damn near the top of the list. As reported by The Daily Mail:

London Midland has vowed to give police CCTV images of a ‘disgusting’ passenger suspected of defecating inside a train carriage as it traveled through the Birmingham area.

The passenger who made the awful discovery said the smell was so bad that it forced the operator to cancel the service from Lichfield Trent Valley to Longbridge.

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nesting doll
Why not just see how many stolen things you can try and put inside of each other? Then it’s like you only have to walk out with one stolen thing! This young lady didn’t take it that far. Regardless, it didn’t work. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A 19-year-old Alabama woman was caught trying to shoplift alcohol by sneaking it out in a stolen purse, according to Crestview Police Department.

According to the arrest report, Carlie Raybon, of Opp, Ala., was in Wal-Mart on May 20 when the asset protection associate saw her take a black handbag and two alcoholic beverages from inside the store.

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There are lots of ways to resist arrest. This one in particular, every male officer would likely agree, should carry an enhanced sentence. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

“Something’s wrong with her,” said Cook County Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr., who initially ordered the 20-year-old held on $50,000 bail. After a short recess, Bourgeois decided to instead release Ashleigh Heather Edwards on an individual recognizance bond with electronic monitoring.

You’re curious, right? What did she do?

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Why do ex-lovers so often go after their replacements?  How does the ex escape blame? As reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina)

Police are looking for a woman accused of breaking out a window in a car owned by her ex-boyfriend’s lover, according to a report.

A Laquinta Drive woman notified deputies about 5:20 a.m. Monday that she had had some unwanted visitors earlier. She said a vehicle drove into her yard and three females got out. She said one of the women began striking her car window with a tire jack.

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Yes, this young lady is charged with a felony over $3. As reported by northcountrynow.com (Potsdam, NY):

A Massena teen is facing a felony after allegedly breaking into her employer’s office and stealing $3 in quarters.

Krystal L. Arquette, 17, of 30 George St. is charged with third-degree burglary.

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You’d have to be drunk or stoned to take a cab to a bank robbery and to have it wait for you while you did the deed, right? Right! This gent was drunk!  As reported by The Tallahassee Democrat:

Stanley Geddie arrived by taxicab and was drunk during an attempted heist of a Tallahassee bank Wednesday afternoon, police say.

The 46-year-old was arrested on charges of robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer after demanding $100,000 from a bank manager at the Capital City Bank on Capital Circle Northwest.

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Seriously, it’s a dispute over one spot in a line, and you’re going to brandish a gun? You’re a cop! As reported at fusion.net:

A 911 recording has captured a Tennessee sergeant losing it over a RedBox movie rental.

In the call, obtained by the Knoxville News Sentinel, Sgt. Paul Story, an off-duty Knox County Sheriff’s Office employee, can be heard yelling and threatening a man, Timothy Nelson, after Nelson claimed the sergeant was cutting him in line. According to the KCSO’s own report, the newspaper said, Story was brandishing his gun during the heated exchange.

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Dishonesty is just so, so tiresome. Just tell the truth. Make The Juice happy. But no, this gent, like just about everyone else who gets busted for an alcohol-related offense, only had “a couple of beers.” He’s either a cheap drunk or a bald-faced liar. What do you think? Per The Moultrie News police blotter:

Happy hour ended early for one man who was found about 6 p.m., passed out behind a department store, a police report said. According to the report, police arrived and found that the man reeked of alcohol and had “soiled his pants.” He said he only had a couple of beers at the bar around the corner and was trying to walk to his house in a nearby neighborhood which was actually about 8 miles away.

Emergency personnel told police the man had fallen in the bushes and was disoriented and confused, according to the report. They said he was not making any sense. He was arrested for public drunkenness and his father was called to come pick up his belongings.

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Law school is really expensive, and it takes three years. So how can you avoid it, and still be a lawyer? Well, just say you are a lawyer. That’s what this woman did, apparently quite well, as reported by newser.com:

A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade and made partner at her small firm before her fraud was discovered, according to charges announced yesterday. Kimberly Kitchen was charged Thursday with forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. State prosecutors contend Kitchen fooled BMZ Law by forging a law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school, and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The firm is based in Huntingdon, about 110 miles east of Pittsburgh. Kitchen, of nearby James Creek, handled estate planning for more than 30 clients “despite never having attended law school,” the attorney general’s office says.

She even served as president of her county bar, says her lawyer, who adds that “she’s an incredibly competent person, and she worked very diligently and was devoted to the people she served. There are things about the charges we don’t agree with.” But the Huntington County Bar Association’s current president called the charges insufficient given “the level of betrayal” over 10 years. Local lawyers were the first to raise questions about Kitchen’s credentials; in December, when the Huntingdon Daily News first reported on the case, the firm vowed to review her work. Kitchen, 45, was previously employed at Juniata College, where she worked in fundraising but “started holding herself out to be a lawyer,” says a senior deputy attorney. She’s married to a state conservation ranger and is no longer working, her lawyer says.

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Was it “Wait, I thought we tested the soil?” or “Soil, shmoil. It looks fine to me. Build it!” It’s unclear what happened because the case of the sliding house has not yet gone to trial … but it’s headed there now. As reported by NJ Advance Media for NJ.com:

A $7.4 million judgment for the owner of a Florham Park house that is gradually sliding down a hill was thrown out by an appellate court last month. But another appeal may still bring it to the New Jersey Supreme Court.

The initial $7.4 million award was made to homeowner Humayun Akhtar in 2011 when a judge reached a summary judgment without hearing the arguments of the defendants: JDN Properties, Joseph D. Natale, Deltrus LLC, and Randy DeLuca, said the attorney for Natale.