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“Show and tell” didn’t turn out too well for the mother of a Missouri kindergartner. As reported by kctv5.com:

The task for the fresh-faced kindergartner students was to bring important family items for show and tell.

But one kindergartner floored his teacher and local law enforcement officers when police say he pulled his mother’s crack pipe and an ounce of drugs from his backpack.

The child’s mother was charged with possession of a controlled substance and one count of first-degree child endangerment. Bond was set at $7,500 for 32-year-old Michelle Marie Cheatham.

The rocks turned out to be meth. You can read more here.

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Remember, this guy was allegedly drunk. So what kind of DUI was it? Per the Beaver County Times (Pennsylvania):

An Ohioville police report said a 911 call came in at 1:40 p.m. Thursday for an “out-of-control male” in the 6000 block of Tuscawaras Road.

Hmm. Seems pretty average so far.

On the way to the location, the officer spotted Mark Grove, 44, of 146 Valleyview Drive driving a lawn tractor down the middle of the road, the report said.

Go on …

Grove smelled of alcohol, was slurring his words and was nearly unintelligible, the report said. There was also a coffee mug sitting on the tractor that was leaking beer, the report said. Grove told the officer, “I’m drunk. Just take me home,” the report said.

“Oh sure. No problem. What’s your address?” Um. No.

Once in the patrol car, Grove tried to kick out the window of the car and then kicked the officer three times, the report said. Grove then threatened to “tear up the hospital” and head-butted the partition between the front and rear seats of the patrol car, the report said.

Now you’re really not getting that ride home.

At the hospital, Grove refused to take a blood-alcohol test or sign any forms, the report said. Once back at the police station, Grove attempted to escape from police custody and damaged a bench and the floor of the station, the report said.

As Mr. Sulu would say “oh my.”

Grove is charged with drunken driving, aggravated assault, criminal mischief, institutional vandalism, resisting arrest, escape, disorderly conduct, driving under suspension, habitual offender for driving under suspension and disregard for traffic lanes.

Here’s the source.

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It’s hard finding work in this economy. But the economy had nothing to do with this gent not getting a job with the sheriff’s department in Warren County, Mississippi. That would have been due to the outstanding warrant for his arrest! Per The Herald Tribune (Florida):

Authorities say Ronald Wade walked into a sheriff’s department in Mississippi to apply for a job as a jailer.

So, after the routine background check – whoa there buddy!

Warren County Sheriff Martin Pace said the 31-year-old Wade was wanted in Florida on a warrant for driving under the influence-manslaughter.

Pace said Wade had been involved in a wreck in Manatee County, but was never arrested on the charge. The initial background check revealed the warrant for his arrest. Deputies arrested Wade on Wednesday.

That’s one tough collar right there. Mr. Wade waived extradition and is heading back to Florida. Here’s the source.

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Why would The Juice presume that no celebrities would stay in James City County, Virginia? Because they have a law prohibiting the use of a fake name when registering at a hotel. Here it is:

Sec. 15-38. False registration by guests.

It shall be unlawful for any person to write, or cause to be written, or knowingly permit to be written, in any guest register in any lodging place in the county, any other or different name or designation than the true name of the person registered therein, or the name by which such person is generally known, or to enter false information regarding any vehicle. Any person violating the provisions of this section shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

Surely all those law-abiding adulterers give their real names … Here’s the source. (You’ll have to scroll down to page 19.)

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Fries definitely taste better when they are hot, and go downhill fast. But it appears that if indeed this woman did get cold fries, she grossly overreacted. Per The Highline Times (Washington State):

The manager of a fast food restaurant located in the 15800 block of 1st Ave. S. called to report and incident with a customer. A female customer returned to the drive-through window after receiving her purchase. The customer felt her fries were too cold. She began yelling profanities and flipping off the manager.

After trying to diffuse the situation, the manager told her to leave or she would report it to the police. The woman did leave. The next customer to come to the drive-through stopped half way through. They noticed a handful of nails in the lane. The manager was able to clean up the nails before any damage was done to a vehicle. No one was able to identify the customer or prove that she was the one that dumped the nails.

Really, cold fries lady? You try to take it out on an innocent customer? Not cool.

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Why on earth would it matter if a chicken is a “beast” or not? Well, it mattered a great deal to a man in Indiana who was charged with sodomizing a “beast.” Or, as set forth in the opinion:

[Mr. Murray], without benefit of counsel, entered a plea of guilty to a charge by affidavit that he committed the “abominable and detestable crime against nature with a beast …”

Armed with a lawyer, based on the title of the post, you can probably guess what the defense was.

[Mr. Murray] contends that the term “beast” as used in Sec. 10-4221, supra, does not include “fowl” …

This is Indiana – in 1957. How do you think that argument was received? Webster’s Dictionary looked to offer some encouragement.

2. Any four-footed animal, as distinguished from birds, reptiles, fishes and insects.

Hmm. What about definitions 1. and 3.?

1. Any living creature; any animal. 3. An animal; – distinguished from man.

Uh oh. The court also noted that …

Under a statute concerning cruelty to animals, this court has held [in 1887!] that a fowl, i.e., a goose was an animal.

A duck has been held to be an animal under an English statute pertaining to sodomy. Reg. v. Brown (1889).

Said the Supreme Court of Indiana …

In our opinion a chicken is a beast within the meaning of that term as used in Sec. … Judgment affirmed.

The case is Murray v. Indiana, 143 N.E.2d 290 (1957).

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Your home is your castle, right? And your garage too? Not always, as this Florida man found out. As reported by tcpalm.com:

Port St. Lucie police on Sunday went to Francisco Rojas’ home after his wife told 911 dispatchers her 49-year-old husband was “drunk and in the garage trying to pull his tooth out with a pair of pliers, and she needs the police to respond.”

Yeow!

Three officers made contact with Rojas. “We observed him attempting to extract his tooth and there was vomit on the floor from his attempts,” an affidavit states.

Rojas’ wife lifted the garage door at an officer’s request to dispel the barf smell.

Asked what was troubling him, Rojas started cursing and was asked to calm down. “This is my [fucking] house, I can say and do whatever the [fuck] I want,” an affidavit states. “I’m [fucking] drunk and you can’t do nothing about it.” [expletives reinserted] 

Another officer asked Rojas to calm down, but he’s accused of more yelling and cursing that “affected the public decency as well as the peace and quiet of the children playing in the neighborhood.”

Rojas, of the 1000 block of Southwest Firestone Avenue in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a breach of peace charge.

Breach of peace? Wasn’t the guy quietly trying to pull out his tooth (and puking) before the police came and stirred things up? Ay ay ay. Here’s the source, including the charging papers.
 
 

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That Chinese cooking oil you brought is probably fine. It’s probably not the product of a certain illegal operation, as reported by chinadaily.com:

Chinese police have arrested 32 suspects for producing and selling illegal cooking oil in a cross-province crackdown, the Ministry of Public Security said in a statement Tuesday.

Why is it gross? Well …

More than 100 tonnes of such oil, made from leftovers dredged from gutters behind restaurants, were seized after busting a criminal network spanning 14 provinces, the ministry said.

Tasty! Here’s the source.

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Nobody can argue that times are not tough. Some people might argue, though, that this is not the best way to go about getting money. As reported by wesh.com:

It’s not normally a problem when a disrobed woman asks customers for money at a strip club. But it is when the woman doesn’t work there.

Deputies said that’s exactly what happened Tuesday night at the Baby Dolls strip club in Pinellas County.

Deputies arrested Natalie Marie Behnke, 25.

Yikes.

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Your mission: theft. You think you’re the only one out there with that mission? A ten-year-old found out the hard way that stealing isn’t such a great idea. Per The Bee News (Buffalo, New York):

Two 10-year-old boys tried to steal a game from a 
Thruway Plaza Drive
business, but tuhe manager sent them on their way. The 
boys were then seen on
the curb outside crying, because one of their bicycles had 
been stolen.

Bad day, but hopefully lessons learned (stealing = bad idea; locking your bike = good idea).