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When I grow up, I want to be a doctor so I can … For this doctor, the rest of the sentence would have been nothing like “help people” or “cure diseases.” As reported by the CBC News:

The Ontario College of Physicians and Surgeons received complaints from four female patients of Miguel Bonin.

A discipline committee heard that Bonin had made sexual comments during pap smears and vaginal exams.

So you’ll get an idea of what a tool this guy is …

Patients said he commented on the size of their breasts, made sexual invitations, asked about sexual fantasies and said he told them he “became this kind of doctor so I could see pretty women in my office.”

The Juice would suspend Dr. Bonin for at least a year, make him undergo a lot of counseling, and have a professional certify that he’s fit to practice. The punishment?

The College has suspended Bonin for three months… and fined [him] more than $7,000 for misconduct.

When he resumes his practice, the College has imposed restrictions. He will not be able to see a female patient without a monitor approved by the College. He must also post a sign in his office and consulting rooms notifying women of the restrictions he is now under.

Pshaw. Bunch of wimps. Here’s the source.

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Drunk driving is all too common. What about driving drunk to a drive-thru, and then drinking while you’re at the window? It’s happened at least once. As reported by wmbfnews.com:

A South Carolina woman is now out on bond after allegedly admitting to drinking while she was in the drive-thru of a Little River fast food restaurant Monday evening.

Yikes!

According to a police report obtained by WMBF News, officers with the Horry County Police Department were dispatched to the Burger King located at 1568 Highway 17 in reference to a person in the drive thru who was possibly intoxicated.

Once they got there, they found Debra Marie Lafferty, 51, of Mt. Pleasant and asked her to move to the back of the vehicle she was driving, the report said.

Officers said Lafferty became very loud and belligerent as they tried to talk with her, and they could sense she was under the influence of alcohol.

According to the report, Lafferty admitted she had been drinking. She was then placed under arrest for public disorderly conduct “for being grossly intoxicated in public.”

Her vehicle was towed and she was taken to the J. Reuben Long Detention Center. She was released Tuesday morning at 8:45 a.m. on a $262 bond.

Shazam! Here’s the source, including a mug shot of Ms. Lafferty.

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What would you do for some nuggies? Definitely not what a California woman was willing to do, as reported by whptv.com.

Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles was seen opening customers’ car doors in the McDonald’s drive through at 1700 block of Olive Avenue about 11 p.m. Wednesday, according to the Burbank Leader. Baseer was allegedly offering to swap sexual favors for the fast food item.

A witness reported her bizarre behavior to the authorities. Baseer was arrested on suspicion of prostitution.

Yikes.

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Maybe you haven’t heard about bath salts. Or maybe you have, and think the hype is overblown. Well, what would you say if The Juice told you that bath salts could cause you to yearn for Mike Huckabee? As reported by Northwest Florida Daily News:

According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, Rhett Daniel Burleson broke into his father’s home and was lying on the kitchen floor. Burlseon was “raving about Jesus, Mike Huckabee, and how people were ‘full of [shit].’ ” (expletive reinserted)

The deputy asked Burlseon what was going on and he yelled that he needed to speak to Mike Huckabee and demanded that he be delivered to him.

Say what?

Burleson was talking very quickly and was speaking to someone not in the room that he claimed to be Jesus.

Burleson initially complied with the deputies allowing them to cuff him, but he suddenly began to resist and attempted to scratch one deputy’s face.

[He] was arrested and charged with felony battery on an officer and felony resisting arrest with violence.

Later, deputies learned Burleson was under the influence of a synthetic drug such as spice or bath salts.

Yikes. Here’s the source.

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If you’re thinking this Crestview, Florida woman hid the shoes on her person, you’re right. In her coat? Nope. Pants? Nope … As reported by NWFDailyNews.com:

A Nov. 29 video surveillance showed the woman take clothing and pass them to the man, according to an arrest report from the Crestview Police Department. The man rolled each item and passed them back to the woman.

The woman hid a pair of shoes under her breasts. She hid the rest of the items in her purse.

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You did. You just jacked that little girl’s Barbiemobile. Curse you! As reported by Florida’s nwfdailynews.com:

A Crestview woman was arrested recently after city police determined she had slipped an acquaintances granddaughter’s Barbie Power Wheel Jeep into her car, on the advice of her boyfriend.

The boyfriend then sold the little girl’s toy, valued at $75, for $20, according to a Crestview police report.

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The answer is “yes,” one man can stop a speeding locomotive. Is it a good idea? Nope. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A 26-year-old man accused Thursday of standing on railroad tracks in the area of Northeast Palmetto Drive and causing a train to make an emergency stop was arrested, according to an affidavit released Friday.

Joseph Robert Fabrey was arrested by a Martin County Sheriff’s deputy on a felony unauthorized person interfering with railroad train charge and a misdemeanor trespass on property charge.

The train conductor pointed to Fabrey and said he stood in the middle of the railroad tracks as the train approached. The engineer repeatedly used the horn and had to stop the train.

A worker identified as an assistant road master said Fabrey was standing on the tracks and stepped off “at the last minute,” according to the report.

Yikes. A felony. And the defense?

Fabrey … denied standing on the tracks.

No doubt that defense will prevail against the engineer and the assistant road master … Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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What kind of person would rough up a swan? Well, this kind of person, as reported by myfoxorlando.com:

A man is behind bars after police say he roughed up a swan. John Wynne is accused of grabbing a swan by the neck from Lake Eola. Orlando Police arrested him for animal cruelty and grand theft. He is being held in the Orange County Jail on $1,000.00 bond.

Totally uncool.

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The Juice has not had a “booth” dance (uh, yeah, sure, right), but he can’t believe a stripper would give one without getting the cashish first. Well this stripper did, unfortunately for all parties concerned. As reported by cnews.canoe.ca:

A stripper will spend the next nine months in jail for smashing a beer bottle over the head of a customer who refused to pay her. Tamara Valcourt was sentenced this week for the Dec. 1 attack at the Chez Venus bar.

Crown prosecutor Julie Gagne said Valcourt attacked the man as he was leaving the strip club without paying the $100 he owed for a booth dance.

“The defendant struck the victim with a beer bottle,” said Gagne. “(He was hit) behind the ear and suffered a deep, four-centimetre cut.”

The Crown and the defence [she pleaded guilty] agreed that Valcourt should serve an additional nine months on top of the 36 days already served. She was also slapped with two years’ probation and has been barred from the Venus club.

Any priors? Well …

The judge took into account the stripper’s prior criminal record that included convictions for obstructing police in 2006 and assault in 2007.

Yikes. Here’s the source.

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Just to be clear, we’re talking about using chalk to write on the sidewalk. In Orlando, that can land you in jail. Really. Just ask Timothy Osmar. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

Just before Christmas, OPD [Orlando Police Department] arrested 25-year-old Timothy Osmar for “writing or painting advertising matter on streets or sidewalks”

The criminal “advertising” in question? Slogans like “Justice Equals Liberty.”

Advertisting? Really? UFB, as is this …

As of Friday, Osmar was still in jail ..

Through Christmas and New Year’s! Mayor Dyer?

Dyer’s office was unapologetic, saying city codes clearly outlaw chalk writing.

Please, tell me this guy isn’t a lawyer. You can read more (a fair amount) here.