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Sure was nice of the police officer to offer this dude a ride home on a cold night. Sure was dumb of the dude to accept. As reported by the Cleveland.com (Parma Sun Post):

Police saw the man walking on Broadview at about 2:40 a.m. Dec. 11. Because it was cold, the officer offered him a ride to a house on Meadowlane Road. While patting him down, police found marijuana [and arrested him].

Doh!

The man also was wanted on a warrant from a municipal court.

Doh! Here’s the source.

Posted in: Oops
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Sure, everyone is forgetful occasionally. But some things you just can’t forget. Like that you left your baby in the car … for 40 minutes. It happened in Colorado Springs. This is from the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:

Incident Date: June 24, 2010 – Time: 1:30:00 PM – Location: Panera Bread Restaurant

Summary: On the above date and time, officers from the Gold Hill Division were dispatched to the Panera Bread Restaurant to investigate the report of a child that had been left in a car. Officers determined that a 9 month old child had inadvertently been left in a locked car in the parking lot for approximately 40 minutes while the parents had gone into the restaurant for a meal. When the parents came out and realized their mistake, they took immediate actions to call the police and medical personnel.

Two questions: 1) HOW DO BOTH PARENTS FORGET ABOUT A CHILD FOR 40 MINUTES? 2) How can it possibly take you 40 minutes to eat at Panera? Back to the report ..

They took first-aid steps for their child’s welfare and the child recovered and was responsive on scene. The baby was transported to Memorial Hospital (Central) as a precautionary measure for evaluation. There was no indication of any injury to the child and he was released to the custody of the parents.

So what do you think? Crime or no crime?

After an exhaustive investigation and consultation with appropriate agencies, no criminal charges were filed in this case. This incident serves as a reminder that leaving children unattended in a vehicle is dangerous and potentially fatal.

Really? Perhaps the reminder would be a little more powerful if the parents were punished!

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It sounds crazy, right? A light saber beating a taser? But it happened. It all started one night … as reported by kgw.com (Portland, Oregon) …

Officers were dispatched to the [Toys R Us] store shortly before 10 p.m., Wednesday on reports that the man had already assaulted three customers with [two ‘Star Wars’ light sabers]. None of them was injured.

Before officers arrived, dispatchers were told the man had walked out into the parking lot, still swinging the swords. Police found the man in the lot talking incoherently.

An officer tried to use a taser, but the device failed. A second Taser also failed after the man used the light sabers to break one of the wires, Simpson said.

You doubted The Juice? The light saber neutralized the taser! So, it had to be done the old-fashioned way.

Officers then rushed the man, taking him to the ground as he struggled violently and continued to shout nonsense.

David A. Canterbury, 33, was placed on a police hold at a hospital for a mental evaluation.

The charges?

He was cited for three counts of fourth-degree assault, second-degree disorderly conduct, third-degree theft, resisting arrest and interfering with a police officer.

Here’s the source, including a photo.

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You come between this lady and her beer, YOU WILL PAY. And it doesn’t matter if you’re her husband. As reported by TCPalm.com:

The husband on Dec. 9 showed Fort Pierce police a cellphone video of his wife, Tricia Renee Habeb, searching for beer in the refrigerator.

“The suspect became irate at the fact the victim put her beer in the garbage can,” an affidavit states.

Oh yeah? Keep that up, and I’ll call the cops!

The husband was heard saying that he’d called police, and Habeb hit her spouse in the face area.

Yikes.

The husband said Habeb came home drunk, and was looking for more beer but couldn’t find it. He said he disposed of the beer and that he wouldn’t give her the car keys because she was intoxicated.

Sounds like a good man. Surely even a drunk woman would appreciate this show of concern?

That, he said, is when Habeb got incensed and chomped him on the arm and neck.

Ouchee! How does she say it went down?

Habeb said her husband held her against her will and that he punched her in the mouth.

Applying the smell test …

Police saw little, if any, injury to her.

So …

Habeb [age 35], of the 1400 block of North Lawnwood Circle in Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges including battery and resist officer without violence.

 

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It’s not like Ms. McCollister (of Garnerville, Nevada) just gave her son the keys and said “drive.” She had him sit on her lap! How drunk was she? .299! To put that in context, having simply read a BAC that high, you should be buzzed. How did Ms. McCollister get to this point? As reported by The Record-Courier:

McCollister told District Judge Dave Gamble on Tuesday that she had been drinking all that weekend. She said she invited an acquaintance to stay at her home because she was in the process of obtaining a temporary restraining order against her husband and she was afraid to be alone.

“He (the houseguest) kept pressuring me to take him home. He drove himself home, and we were in the car. I was pretty much passed out all the way. He pulled into his driveway and just left us there. There was another lady with us, but she didn’t have her glasses, so she refused to drive. I had my son get on my lap and drive us,” McCollister said.

Other than lying, there may be nothing judges despise more than the failure to accept responsibility for your actions. Judge Gamble is no exception:

“You just gave me the identities of three or four people whose fault this was, and none of it was yours,” Gamble said. “As long as you think this was anyone else’s fault but yours, I have no reason to show any leniency toward you, and you’ll get no good out of this.

“All that conspired from your perspective to force you to commit felony child abuse. That’s nonsense,” Gamble said. “Next time you’re in here, I hope I don’t hear a pocketful of excuses for the absolute evilness and irrationality of putting your son on your lap while you’re drunk and driving you home.”

And if you’re wondering how she got caught, not surprisingly, it turns out a 12-year-old drives a lot like a drunkard.

She was arrested Oct. 17 near the intersection of El Dorado Drive and Village Way in Gardnerville after a Douglas County reserve deputy reported seeing a brown Buick headed north on Highway 395 weaving in and out of the travel lane and varying its speed.

The witness said he passed the vehicle and saw a child in the driver’s seat. According to the sheriff’s report, he and a deputy contacted McCollister after the vehicle stopped near her residence.

So what is she looking at? … up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine at her Dec. 14 sentencing [after pleading guilty to attempted child abuse or neglect]. And if the situation wasn’t bad enough …

A woman and a 7-year-old child also were in the vehicle.

And …

McCollister is to appear Jan. 5 in East Fork Justice Court for sentencing on a second conviction of driving under the influence to which she plead guilty Oct. 20.

It’s not that The Juice is unsympathetic to this woman’s problem with alcohol. It’s just that there is no excuse for putting the lives of your child and others in jeopardy. Here’s the source, including a photo.

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Yup. A 30-year-old Toronto man was riding the bus. After making eye contact with the man next to him, the friendly guy said “hello.” This was too much for the unfriendly guy, who, as reported in The National Post, then asked

Why do you say hello to me? I don’t know you.

Um, er, okay. Nevermind. No such luck for the friendly guy.

The victim apologized on the bus, and again when they got off, but the man pulled out a knife and stabbed him. The victim was taken to hospital and received numerous stitches.

Friendly guy is doing alright. Unfriendly guy remains at large.

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Probably every generation, as they age, at some point says “kids these days!” That day came for a certain New Yorker, as reported by The Bee Newspapers (New York):

A Redleaf Lane resident reported three teenage males were carrying a baseball bat and a golf club. The complainant told police the youths were not “using them for the appropriate sports.”

Hmm.

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Juice devotees know that Sweden really is Big Brother when it comes to names. Apparently that applies to license plates too. Check this out from The Local:

Officials with Sweden’s Road Administration (Vägverket) have denied a driver’s request for a licence place with what at first glance appears to be a completely innocent combination of characters.

Recently, the agency received a request from an individual who wanted a licence plate reading X32IARO.

Despite no obviously offensive reference in the desired combination, Vägverket nonetheless rejected the application.

“It looks like something completely different when seen through a rear-view mirror, and on the road, many end up reading things through the rear-view mirror,” said Vägverket spokesperson Mikael Andersson to the Svenska Dagbladet newspaper.

When read in reverse, as it would be seen through a rear-view mirror, X32IARO suddenly appears as ORALSEX.

So?

Andersson explained that the agency has no specific set of rules for how applications are reviewed and that the hidden meaning of seemingly harmless set of letters and numbers just happened to be uncovered by a Vägverket employee reviewing the application.

Give that man a … kick in the arse!

“It’s not like we have a checklist for how we check the applications, but it requires a certain degree of creativity to discover inappropriate words,” said Andersson.

So nice to see someone take pride in their work …efilateg…

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You’re Benjamin J. Marchant, and you’re just sitting in a courtroom in Dickson County, Tennessee. You haven’t done anything, other than give a ride to a friend who does have some business before the court. And what did Judge Durwood G. Moore do to Mr. Marchant? From a decision by the Tennessee Court of the Judiciary:

While he sat in your court you observed him and ordered your bailiff or police officers in the courtroom to take Mr. Marchant into custody and to administer a drug test on his person. Mr. Marchant was neither a litigant, a defendant or a person who had business before the Court and was a citizen observer. Mr. Marchant at your direction was seized by police officials and required to provide a urine sample which was drug tested. When the drug test was revealed to be negative Mr. Marchant was released. The ordering of the seizure of Mr. Marchant and this testing were illegal and neither statutory nor constitutional basis existed for your conduct.

What the hell was he thinking? The judges in charge of the disciplinary process were pissed. They hammered Judge Moore for violating a slew of Mr. Marchant’s rights. But was he booted from the bench?

This public censure represents the highest degree of judicial discipline authorized by law short of the Court seeking a judgment recommending your removal as a judge from office. In the future you are to accord all citizens who appear in your court their constitutional rights and they shall not be seized on your suspicion for unauthorized drug tests. Each individual who appears before you shall be afforded their due process rights and shall be properly charged and noticed before any adverse action is taken against them.

Oh, and he also got censured, the same day, for something else! How many public censures equal a removal in Tennessee? More than two …

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There are many variations on the theme, including “You’re in a shitload of trouble,” or “You’re in some deep shit.” That last one is particularly appropriate in the case of 52-year-old Thomas Hovis Jr. As reported by WANE:

A wanted man in Albion literally created a big stink to avoid being captured by police. He was found hiding neck-deep in a pit of liquid manure.

Police were seeking to arrest Hovis for multiple felony drug charges out of Steuben County, including manufacturing and possession of methamphetamine. His previous offenses include multiple drug charges, aggravated battery, and even a murder conviction in Florida.

Quite a few strikes there.

“We had units that were observing the location,” explained Doug Harp, Chief Deputy for the Noble County Sheriff’s Department. “We decided based on the information that we had about his criminal background, the charges he was faced with, that we should use our tactical teams [and our clothes pins…].”

When officers arrived, they saw Hovis run into an outbuilding at the rear of the residence. Police attempted to coax Hovis out of the building, but he refused.

SWAT Team members eventually deployed tear gas to enter the building and locate Hovis hiding inside a manure pit.

And if you think he just gave up, nope.

Hovis was removed from the pit and continued to fight arrest. Officers had to tase him before taking him into custody.

A search of the home where Hovis was found also turned up three one pot meth labs, 18 marijuana plants and two grams of methamphetamine. Three guns were also seized, including an assault rifle.

Now that’s some serious …