Legal Juice

The clothes belonged to a woman in Tacoma, Washington. As reported by The News Tribune:

A report of a naked woman tied to a tree in the Owen Beach area brought Tacoma police to Point Defiance Park on Tuesday.

A witness called 911 and reported seeing the woman, police spokesman Mark Fulghum said. A man was spotted nearby.

Several police officers responded to the park and traffic officers were posted at its entrances and exits, Fulghum said.

The officers talked with the man and woman and determined it was a “consensual rendezvous,” Fulghum said. No arrests were made.

How low can a thief go? Check out this theft, apparently involving three men, as reported in the North Royalton (Ohio) Police Blotter by the Sun Star Courier:

THEFT, STATE ROAD: A Sunoco employee reported the theft of a donation jar at 5:34 p.m. March 8.

The employee said he was assisting another customer with the lottery machine when three men walked in. One picked up a donation jar for missing children and another man stepped in front of security cameras.

The officer reviewed security footage that captured the man picking up the donation jar containing $31. He recognized the man from previous criminal incidents.

The officer went to the man’s residence and showed the camera footage to the his parents, who admitted it appeared to be their son. He was cited for theft.

Well, kind of. A 17-year-old Washington student stood before his class and presented his essay on why marijuana should be legalized. And? Oh no you didn't... Per The News Tribune:

At the end of his speech ... [he] pulled out a joint, lit it and smoked away. Then he ate the remains.

For that he got a quick escort to the school office and then a ride to Remann Hall juvenile jail.

The boy ... was arrested on suspicion of unlawful drug possession, a misdemeanor.

Are you worse off if you mistext (text the wrong number) or sext? That would depend on what was in the mistext, and who you sent it to. One Mindy Lynn Neugebauer, 26, of Mangum [Oklahoma] would likely go with mistexting. Here's why, per The Altus Times:

According to reports, agent Chris Counts of the Distirct III Drug Task Force received a text message that said, “if you want a hit of this stuff (reference to illegal narcotics) before it is all gone, you better get over here.” He texted back asking the address and got an answer. Counts checked the utility registration and found it to belong to Neugebauer.

Officers went to the address and told Neugebauer about the text message, and she said she thought she had sent the message to a friend. She said the hits she was talking about were from a blunt marijuana rolled inside a cigar, and that was all she had in the residence.

She allowed officers to search the house where they found a loaded .22 caliber pistol in the bathroom closet, and a small plastic sack containing suspected cocaine under her mattress. A field test determined the presence of cocaine from the powder.

The evidence was submitted to the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation laboratory for further testing.

A felony warrant was issued for Neugebauer on charges of possession of a controlled substance and unlawful possession of a controlled drug with the intent to distribute. Bond was set at $25,000.

Why would you grow your weed outside and risk discovery when you can grow it in your house ... er houses? As an added bonus, you can grow it year round. That's exactly what some folks in New Jersey figured. Per nj.com:

Police uprooted a multimillion-dollar network of homes used to grow marijuana in the largest bust of pot production in New Jersey history... Within three days last month, police seized a total of 3,370 growing plants, 115 pounds of harvested pot and $65,000 cash.

Authorities said the total operation was worth $10 million based on potential output per plant.

The suspects also bypassed electrical meters to conceal how much power the homes were concealing and steal electricity.

The investigation started accidentally on Feb. 17 when Monroe Township Police Officer Thomas Lucasiewicz smelled marijuana coming from the chimney of a home on Spotswood-Englishtown Road. When he knocked, Thu N. Nguyen opened the door, and Lucasiewicz smelled unusable pot plants being burned in the fireplace, authorities said.

Nguyen was arrested and police found 1,064 pot plants growing in the basement and master bedroom.

That was only the beginning, and the bust led to search warrants for five more rented houses in four other towns: Millstone, Old Bridge, Manalapan and Manahawkin.

Five of the homes were being used to grow marijuana. One of the suspects lived in a sixth home, on Hidden Court in Old Bridge, where police seized $60,000 cash and vacuum bags used to package the pot.

So this victim had his car window smashed, and his stereo, GPS, and tires stolen. But at least he could get to work on Monday. How, you might wonder? This is clearly one of the stranger crimes The Juice has encountered. Per lancasteronline.com (Pennsylvania):

A thief in Lancaster Township took the time to replace a set of wheels that he took off a vehicle, police said.

A resident of Riverside Avenue reported that a window on his vehicle was shattered overnight Sunday on Ranck Mill Road, police said. The vehicle's four wheels were taken and were replaced with four wheels with worn tires.

A stereo and GPS also were taken, police said. Loss is $850.

A Malaysian woman is almost certainly going to find out. Per The New Straits Times:

[A 28-year-old] woman is facing the death sentence after being caught with 1kg of heroin at an airport in Changsha, central China, last Saturday.

The ... woman faces death by lethal injection if convicted as China's Criminal Law stipulates that trafficking of more than 50g of heroin is punishable by death.

So what can Turkish citizens no longer bring back from a trip abroad? If you guessed "an artificially fertilized egg," you're ... right! Per the BBC:

Artificial insemination is already illegal [in Turkey], but women have until now been able to go overseas to seek sperm donors.

Now they will face punishment of one to three years in prison for doing so.

I'm guessing you now know why Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd might care about a traffic sign ... Yup, because the sign was reprogrammed to say:

KEVIN RUDD SUCKS

Police are baffled how they did it but the Prime Minister definitely has a problem in Rose Bay - with a large illuminated traffic sign sending the message: "Kevin Rudd sucks".

The sign, which dramatically appeared overnight on New South Head Road, has proven a traffic stopper.

Locals have been stopping their cars to take photographs - and the sign caused such a distraction that the police were called in at 3am today.

Working hard to preserve the Prime Minister's honour, the dedicated police officers took to the power box powering the sign with bolt cutters to turn off the lights.


British hero policeman Andrew Shovelar is on trial for attacking his former girlfriend, a trial which was only supposed to take 8 days, but had wrapped its third week. What's the problem, you're wondering. Well, you see, several of the jurors have to go on holiday. What's a judge to do? Not cancel the trial after 3 weeks, right? Wrong! HE DITCHED THE TRIAL SO A JUROR COULD GO ON HOLIDAY! Said Judge Heath:

It was made plain that she would be on the plane to Portugal.

It is the only realistic decision I can take in the circumstances.