Legal Juice

Yes, Christian Haughwout, a 14-year-old student at The Morgan School in Clinton, Connecticut, was suspended for 10 days for ... bringing a camera to school that emits a mild shock! The official reason for the suspension?

"Possession of a dangerous instrument and causing a threat or danger to the physical well-being of himself or other people."

Really? Yes, and on top of that, as reported by The Hartford Courant:

In juvenile court, the boy also faces charges of possession of a dangerous weapon on school grounds, attempted assault and breach of peace.

Suspended and busted! What to do. Christian's parents challenged the suspension via a lawsuit in federal court. The case was settled, with the school letting Christian return, and his parents agreeing to drop the lawsuit. Of course that doesn't dispose of the juvenile court case. Christian is definitely an interesting kid. You can read more (a lot) here.

Surely Ponce de Leon High School (Florida) Principal David Davis would deny it's hatin'. Decide for yourself. As reported by the Student Press Law Center:

The lawsuit, filed Thursday [by a junior at the school], alleges that Principal David Davis told several students who were wearing rainbow belts and shirts and writing pro-gay expressions on their hands that supporting gay and lesbian rights was impermissible at the school. Davis suspended several of the students, leading junior Heather Gillman to question what expressions the school board prohibits.

Benjamin James Stevenson, a Florida ACLU attorney representing Gillman, sent a letter to the school board asking for guidance on what was regarded as permissible speech. The letter included 16 examples of phrases, symbols and images, such as "I Support My Gay Friends," "GP [Gay Pride]" and "Pro-Gay Marriage," and asked which if any of the symbols or phrases students could wear at school.

Brandon J. Young, an attorney for the school board, replied in a Nov. 12 letter that none of the symbols or phrases would be allowed. The letter said that, although the school board does not restrict pro-gay or anti-gay expression as such, school policy bars students from wearing anything "that may reasonably disrupt and interfere with the educational process of that student or other students."

No! No! Not .... the rainbow! We're doomed! So how much loot is the student asking for? A dollar.

The complaint asks the court for an injunction to prohibit school officials from suppressing students' First Amendment rights. Among other things, the suit also asks for $1 in nominal damages, attorney fees and a declaration that the school violated Gillman's rights.

To read more (a fair amount) click here.

It's just a bunny, right? Wrong, as Elizabeth Johnson, a junior at Gateway High School in Kissimmee, Florida learned. Her crime? She wore sweat pants with a Playboy bunny and the word "Playboy." The time? Two days of detention! From a UPI article, here are the highlights:

Elizabeth Johnson, a junior at Gateway High School, said a dean approached her at school and instructed her to change out of her black Playboy sweat pants, which she did. She was forced to stay for an hour after school for two days, the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Tuesday.

Johnson said there was nothing inappropriate about her attire, despite Playboy's connection to soft-core pornography.

"The bunny is just a logo," she said. "There's nothing objectionable about that."

"They're black sweats," Johnson said. "They are thick, cotton, exercise pants... I was dressed tastefully."

The school district's dress code does not bar students from wearing any specific clothing brands, but allows officials to ban clothing with "offensive, suggestive, or indecent" messages or images.

Hugh Hefner must be loving it - giving the Playboy brand some juice with the youngsters. Brilliant!

This crew makes the Montana Board of Barbers and Cosmetologists look great! I'm talking about the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation. As reported in The Ledger:

It began in 2005, when Sydney Bacchus, who holds a master's degree in biology from Florida State University, spoke at a public hearing on behalf of opponents of a proposed sand-mining operation in Putnam County.

You see the problem, right? Of course you don't! But those pointy-headed bureacrats did.

Soon after the appearance, Bacchus received a "cease and desist" order from the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation. Bacchus, the department claimed, was practicing geology without a license.

Would it surprise you to know that the complainant is a genuine state-licensed geologist (and supporter of the sand mine)? I didn't think so.

Then those geniuses on the Board tried to fine Ms. Bacchus up to $5,000, and have her reprimanded. So she sued the Board, and they caved, dropping the case against her. What do you think the Judge said when the Board asked that her suit [against the Board] be thrown out? Nope. Now the Board has offered her $100,000 to settle the case! To read more, click here.

Melissa Franklin has been cutting hair for 16 years. She trained under 3 master barbers. She's been cutting hair in Whitefish, Montana for almost 10 years. There's only one problem - she's a licensed "cosmetologist," not a licensed "barber." Nobody in town cares. The Montana Board of Barbers and Cosmetologists does, though.

When an inspector told Ms. Franklin that she couldn't display a red, white and blue barbershop pole because she wasn't a barber, she took his advice and removed the blue stripe. The end, right? Not even close. The inspector returned a year later - with his camera - and brought the evidence to his bosses. As reported in The Missoulian, the Board then sent Ms. Franklin a letter telling her:

Get rid of that pole. And not just that pole out front. The painted pole on the window, too. And the little antique wooden pole on the wall that advertises shave and a haircut 5 cents, tooth pulling 2 cents. And the plastic spray bottles, whose cylindrical bodies are colored to look like poles.

Anything short of that would constitute “unprofessional conduct,” and Franklin could be fined, could even lose her license.

[See why I put this in the "Get A Life!" category?] Ever reasonable, the 16-year "barber" offered to take the state barber's test. Nope, said the Board. You'll have to attend the 150-hour barber school! Fortunately for Ms. Franklin, State Senator Verdell Jackson has taken up the cause, and says he won't stop until that 3-color pole is back up in front of the Clip Joint. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Leave the poor boy alone! Grant Stranaghan, age 15, of Ulster, Northern Ireland, dared to attend school with his hair 2 inches below his collar. Gasp! Hair must not be below the collar (of course, this just applies to boys), so Grant was suspended for 3 days. Since returning on November 26, he has been kept apart from his classmates, even during breaktime. That's 2 weeks of solitary. His pop is taking the case to the High Court. Click here to see a picture of Grant, and here to read more about the hair affair.

Incredible. Check out the article here.