Legal Juice

Does marinating a cat really enhance the flavor? Hey, don't shoot the messenger. (And please, PETA folks, no more emails. The Juice truly likes animals, especially cats.) Mr. Gary Korkuc was caught literally marinating his cat. Here's the story, as reported by www.buffalonews.com:

Buffalo police say officers heard the cat meowing when they stopped 51-year-old Gary Korkuc of Cheektowaga to ticket him for running a stop sign Sunday night.

They say they checked the trunk and found 4-year-old Navarro in a cage, his fur covered with oil, crushed red peppers and chili peppers.

Very uncool. But why?

Police say Korkuc told them he did it because Navarro was ill-tempered.

... he [also] told them he was going to cook Navarro. But they say Korkuc also complained that the neutered male cat got pregnant after he was spayed.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] A pregnant male cat? Anyway, it looks like Navarro will be fine, as he was cleaned up and is awaiting adoption. And Mr. Korkuc?

[He] was charged with cruelty and released; his phone number isn't listed.

Think he's glad he opted for an unlisted number?

After 6 years of litigation, everything else was settled in this divorce, which began just 4 months after the birth of the child at the heart of the controversy. Just what is the controversy? Whether the birth mother can prohibit her daughter's stepmother from calling the stepmother "Mum" or a variation thereof. Really. This was the only issue left for a Judge in Australia to decide. Per the Australian:

The woman, who cannot be named, argued that her ex-husband was deliberately undermining her role as their child's mother, by encouraging his new wife to answer to the terms "Mum" and "Mummy" and "Mummy-D" (D being the first letter of the stepmother's first name).

Biological mum's argument:

... the stepmother should not be permitted to refer to herself "as a motherly figure".

Biological dad?

By consent, her ex-husband agreed that his new wife should not be "Mum or "Mummy" but thought "Mummy-D" was fine.

Sounds like a reasonable compromise. Mum?

Ms Klement [mum] was "adamant that the child should only call her Mum" or any variation of "Mum".

Judge, please, put an end to this.

The court declined to make an order that the child not refer to her stepmother as "Mummy-D" in part because the judge was concerned that such an order would lead to further litigation "where it would be up to the court to determine whether the father had breached the order in relation to encouraging the child to use the term Mummy-D".

Well done, sir. Here's the source.

Have you ever heard of an ice cream truck driver - while parked - getting hurt on the job? Well, you're about to. And it's a strange one. As reported by The Salt Lake Tribune:

A Taylorsville woman is accused of spraying an industrial-strength cleaning solution in the eyes of an ice cream truck driver because she thought the treats were too expensive.

The Juice doesn't even know where to begin with this one.

The driver’s "eyes burned," and she was hospitalized after the Aug. 7 confrontation at an apartment complex near 700 West Mackinac Drive, police wrote in charges filed Monday.

According to court documents, the suspect approached the driver and ordered her to leave. When the driver did not leave, the woman sprayed the truck’s windows then sprayed the driver multiple times in the face with Mean Green cleaner, police wrote.

Clearly this is a woman with major issues.

The woman later told police she sprayed the ice cream truck driver because "she charges too much for ice cream," investigators wrote. When the officer arrested her, she tried to pull away and threatened him, saying she would "sock [the officer] in the face" and "kick [the officer] in the balls," police wrote.

So, instead of paying an extra, say, dollar, she's looking at charges of ... "assault, assault against a peace officer, interference with an arresting officer and committing a violent offense in the presence of a child." Brilliant! Here's the source.

You come between this lady and her beer, YOU WILL PAY. And it doesn't matter if you're her husband. As reported by TCPalm.com:

The husband on Dec. 9 showed Fort Pierce police a cellphone video of his wife, Tricia Renee Habeb, searching for beer in the refrigerator.

“The suspect became irate at the fact the victim put her beer in the garbage can,” an affidavit states.

Oh yeah? Keep that up, and I'll call the cops!

The husband was heard saying that he’d called police, and Habeb hit her spouse in the face area.

Yikes.

The husband said Habeb came home drunk, and was looking for more beer but couldn’t find it. He said he disposed of the beer and that he wouldn’t give her the car keys because she was intoxicated.

Sounds like a good man. Surely even a drunk woman would appreciate this show of concern?

That, he said, is when Habeb got incensed and chomped him on the arm and neck.

Ouchee! How does she say it went down?

Habeb said her husband held her against her will and that he punched her in the mouth.

Applying the smell test ...

Police saw little, if any, injury to her.

So ...

Habeb [age 35], of the 1400 block of North Lawnwood Circle in Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges including battery and resist officer without violence.

Here's the source, including a photo of Ms. Habeb.

A 13-year-old kid was busted for burping, so says the lawsuit!

You won't believe what this door-to-door salesman was selling. As reported by The Sun Sentinel:

A Coconut Creek man accused of posing as a doctor and offering free door-to-door breast exams has reached a deal with prosecutors, lawyers told a Broward judge on Tuesday.

Phillip Winikoff, 81, was accused in April 2006 of carrying on the ruse with women at an apartment complex in the 3200 block of Northwest 40 Street in Lauderdale Lakes. Investigators said two women took Winikoff up on the offer, allowed him into their apartments and realized something was amiss only after the exams started.

So what happened?

At the time of Winikoff's arrest, the Broward Sheriff's Office said he carried a little black bag to lend credibility to his claim of being a doctor. The first victim, 36 at the time, told detectives he started the exam by fondling her breasts, and she knew something was wrong when his hands wandered elsewhere.

Perhaps Mr. Winikoff should have called an escort service?

By the time the victim called 911, Winikoff had already found a second victim, the sheriff's office said.

Preying on women's fear of breast cancer, and then sexually assaulting them? Dude should do time, regardless of his age. It's unsure whether that will happen, as the Judge delayed sentencing. You can read more here.

Sure, there have been mistakes made in the "war on drugs" and the "war on terror." But exactly how Australian customs could make such a colossal mistake is hard to fathom. As reported at news.com.au:

Neil Parry was arrested in June last year at Darwin Airport and charged with trafficking 1.6kg of liquid ecstasy in two bottles of Pantene.

After spending three days in jail last year, and having friends' homes searched, Mr Parry was granted bail.

There was just one teeny, tiny problem with the case against Mr. Parry.

Customs later admitted the toiletries contained no illegal drugs and all charges against Mr Parry were dropped.

NO DRUGS!

Today, Mr Parry told ABC Radio he had been given $100,000 in compensation for his ordeal and an apology.

Wow, so it worked out well for him after all? Not exactly.

"It is not worth it, no," Mr Parry said."I would rather it never happened," he said.

He said most of the money would go towards his legal expenses.

Here's the source.

Nothing this exciting ever happened to The Juice during high school. Of course, The Juice attended high school even before the advent of those brick cell phones. Anyway, aren't teachers supposed to be telling kids NOT to do this? As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer:

A North Ridgeville High School teacher is on paid administrative leave while police investigate reports that she had an affair with a student.

Police said rumors of a sexual relationship were circulating Wednesday after the teacher sent scantily clad pictures of herself to a student. Police said she admitted sending photos of herself in a bikini.

Police said the teacher admitted having "flirtatious conversations" and texts with one or two students, but denied rumors that she had a sexual relationship with any student.

That would be akin to pulling a Weiner, although a lighter version.

A statement from Captain Marti Garrow indicated that it is likely the information gathered in the investigation would be presented to the Lorain County Grand Jury for consideration of prosecution.

Here's the source.

It's not hyberbole to say that this is almost certainly the strangest ticket ever issued. The offense? As reported by Al-Anba Daily:

In the first incident of its kind, a traffic policeman [in Kuwait City] issued a citation against an Arab motorist for having bad breath. 
A police source said it is a very strange incident and problematic too because the penalty is not known. “Will the motorist be fined; if so, how much will he have to pay and if his car is impounded, how long will it be in the police garage?” he asked. 
Incidentally, it is also mentioned on the citation that the motorist admitted that his mouth smells.

Honestly, sir, get a life. Don't look at it. Move to the mountains. Read the Constitution. But please, don't waste anyone's time with your complaints about this decal!!!!! As reported by Great Falls Tribune (Montana):

Brian Smith is tired of coming home from work to see what he calls pornography [see above] staring him in the face from across the alley.

Smith, who lives on the 1600 block of 1st Avenue North, said the problem began when he noticed a large decal on the back window of a car in the parking lot of Quality Life Concepts. The decal is a white silhouette of a naked woman.

"To me, this has crossed the line," he said.

What does the decal's owner think?

Offensive or not, Shanna Weaver, who owns the car and decal in question, said it's her right to display the picture.

"It's my freedom of speech, which he can't take away," Weaver said. "It's no different than the mud flaps that you see on trucks."

What do you have to say to that, sir [other than that you want all those mud flaps on trucks across the country removed]?

Smith feels differently. There are certain parts of the body in that silhouette that neither he nor his wife, Louise, like to look at when they pull into their garage directly across from Quality of Life Concepts, where Weaver works — and parks.

"My upbringing dictates that the human body is a sacred thing, not something that should be put on display," Smith said.

Perhaps your upbringing would have been aided with a dose of tolerance. With such disparate views on the subject, could they work this out?

Smith and Weaver confirmed in separate interviews that Smith talked to Weaver about the decal, telling her that he didn't like looking at it and asking if she could back her car into her parking spot or park it somewhere else where the decal didn't face his house. Weaver initially agreed, honoring Smith's request for one day. The next day, the decal was back in Smith's view.

Although The Juice prefers to back in, good for her! But that wasn't the end of it for Mr. Smith.

That's when Smith wondered if he could take his complaint to the police. Smith's point of view is that the sticker on the back of Weaver's car is pornography, and it should be illegal to display it in public.

A police officer dispatched to check out the decal determined that the illustration didn't fit the city or state's statute defining obscenity. The legal spat between Smith and Weaver never made it past a complaint with the Great Falls Police Department ...

You can read more (a lot) here.

Seriously - if you're name has 30 characters, it's time for a change of some sort. This doctor will make that decision quite simple, as his real offenses include some egregious conduct. As reported at walesonline.com:

A trainee gynecologist squeezed a patient’s bottom, kissed a colleague’s breast over her tunic and told a woman an examination would be “the most pleasurable experience” of her life, a disciplinary panel has ruled.

His name?

Dr. Priyantha Perera Kandanearachchi ...

Shazam!

... who worked for Cardiff and Abertawe Bro Morgannwg health boards, denied telling the patient the procedure would be intensely pleasurable during an examination in October 2008.

He also denied squeezing a patient’s bottom in February 2010 and putting his mouth to a colleague’s breast in July of last year while working at the Princess of Wales Hospital, in Bridgend.

But a General Medical Council (GMC) disciplinary hearing sitting in Manchester today ruled the allegations against the medic were proven.

The doc is waiting to see if he'll be allowed to continue practicing medicine. Hopefully not. Here's the source.

This is just gross - really, really gross. A guy broke into two separate cars and, well, you'll have to hear it from The Star-Ledger (via nj.com):

Twice in one night, a burglar entered cars in Carteret, ransacked the vehicles and then defecated inside, according to police.

How would you like to be the police officer who catches this case? "Yeah, we'll need some of that for DNA testing."

On Tuesday night, an intruder entered a 2005 Chrysler Pacifica parked on Park Avenue, grabbed a GPS unit, and before leaving, relieved himself on the backseat, police said.

The same night somebody entered a 2007 Toyota Camry parked on George Street. Nothing was taken, but the burglar also relieved himself on the rear seat, authorities said.

Not cool, dude. Not cool. (It reminds The Juice of a certain Seinfeld episode.)

Fries definitely taste better when they are hot, and go downhill fast. But it appears that if indeed this woman did get cold fries, she grossly overreacted. Per The Highline Times (Washington State):

The manager of a fast food restaurant located in the 15800 block of 1st Ave. S. called to report and incident with a customer. A female customer returned to the drive-through window after receiving her purchase. The customer felt her fries were too cold. She began yelling profanities and flipping off the manager.

After trying to diffuse the situation, the manager told her to leave or she would report it to the police. The woman did leave. The next customer to come to the drive-through stopped half way through. They noticed a handful of nails in the lane. The manager was able to clean up the nails before any damage was done to a vehicle. No one was able to identify the customer or prove that she was the one that dumped the nails.

Really, cold fries lady? You try to take it out on an innocent customer? Not cool.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has had a haircut they have been unhappy with. But, unlike with virtually every other problem, this one actually does go away with time. A man in Norway couldn't wait. So, as reported at newsenglish.no:

A man in Drammen was so unhappy with his new haircut that he called police, demanding assistance because he didn’t want to leave the hair salon.

News bureau NTB reported that according to the Søndre Buskerud Police District’s logs, the man claimed that the hairdresser had done such a bad job that he couldn’t go outside without a cap. He apparently didn’t have one.

He also had complained about the result of his haircut to the salon’s proprietor, but was told it was too late to do anything about it.

If only the owner had told him he could take care of it ... and then shaved him bald!

The police receiving his call for help told him they had many duties in the course of a day, and responded to many calls, but his would not be one of them.

Here's the source.

To say that this Pennsylvania woman showed no remorse after faking cancer to make a buck would be an understatement. She's actually irate with one of the people she conned! As reported by The Delaware County Daily Times:

A former Pottstown woman who served jail time for lying about having breast and ovarian cancer and duping friends into organizing a fundraiser for her is in trouble again, this time for allegedly harassing one of those friends.

Alicia E. Tolton, 27, formerly of Pottstown and most recently of the 100 block of Allison Road in Upper Moreland, faces an Oct. 5 arraignment in Montgomery County Court on a new charge of harassment in connection with a July 30 incident during which she allegedly left an obscenity-laced voice mail message on the phone of a woman who testified against Tolton in the fake cancer scheme.

“Hey (the victim), it’s Alicia. And, uh, I just wanted to let you know that I got out of jail on Tuesday. Go (expletive) yourself…” Tolton allegedly uttered in her July 30 phone message to an Upper Moreland woman, according to a criminal complaint.

Tolton placed the call just days after being paroled from jail and placed on probation in connection with the fake cancer scheme, according to court papers filed in county court.

Hmm. Sounds like a probation violation too. You can read a lot more here.

At least according to Merriam-Webster, a "fetish" is defined as "an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion," or "an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression." Given this man's behavior, do you think he has a toe fetish? Per The China Daily:

A woman in Dalian, Liaoning province, was attacked by a man who wanted to bite her toes.

The woman said the man, who looked about 25 years old and was well dressed, chased her as she was climbing the stairs of a residential building.

To the woman's surprise, when the man caught her, he took off her right shoe and bit two of her toes. He fled after the woman kept hitting him with a plastic bottle.

Yikes. So many strange people in this world. And since China has just about 1/5 of the world's population ... expect to see more Juice stories from China.

Regular Juice readers may remember this post about a law in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana that prohibited the sale of silly string within three hundred (300) feet of any parade route within the parish on any day a parade is scheduled.

So, no selling of silly string, only on parade days, and only within 300 feet of the parade route. Well sir, that kind of leniency toward the devil that is silly string will not be tolerated in the town of Hopkinton, Massachusetts! For in that town, you may not sell or use silly string EVER. To wit:

ARTICLE I

Plastic String and Streamers

[Adopted 6-11-1990 ATM, Art. 26]

~ 154-1. Sale and use prohibited.

No person shall sell or expose for sale, use or cause or permit to be used any product designed to project a string or streamer of plastic material.

HT to The Hopkinton Patch for this tidbit.

As a bicycle commuter who has been on the receiving end of many unkind words, The Juice can relate to this incident, up until the gun part anyway. From the "WTF Were You Thinking" category, as reported in the Colorado Springs Police Department Crime Blotter:

Incident Date: April 5, 2010 Time: 4:34:00 PM

Summary: Stetson Hills Officers were dispatched to a weapons brandishing stemming from a road rage situation occurring at the intersection of Old Farm Drive @ Old Farm Circle West. Officers spoke with an adult male victim who reported that he was riding his bike on Austin Bluffs Park Way when he was confronted by a motorist in a red Jeep Cherokee. The victim alleged that the suspect in the Cherokee yelled at him for being in the street on his bike. A short time later, the two came to a stop at an intersection and they engaged in a mutual discussion about the situation. The victim said at some point, the driver of the vehicle displayed what appeared to be a small caliber hand gun. The victim then used his cellular telephone to take a picture of the vehicles license plate. A robbery charge was attached because the victim said the suspect tried to take the phone away from him, so he drove away from the area and called the police. Officers used the license plate information to obtain the suspects address. They responded to 5220 Farm Ridge Place and spoke with 46 year old Curtis Scrivner. Scrivner was contacted in the back yard of his residence. Scrivner was not compliant with the officer’s requests and a brief stand-off occurred. A short time later Mr. Scrivner ran into his house. A short time later, officers made contact with the suspect by phone and successfully negotiated his surrender. Mr. Scrivner was arrested and booked into the criminal justice center for felony menacing and aggravated robbery.

What name could be so bad that a Chicago Alderman held up the sign permit for 2 1/2 years? "Felony Franks". Yes, The Juice is scratching his head too. As reported by The Chicago Sun-Times:

After a 2½-year battle that culminated in a First Amendment lawsuit, the City Council’s Transportation Committee will meet on June 6 to issue the sign permit local Ald. Bob Fioretti (2nd) has been blocking on grounds that the name sends a “bad message” to area students.

Sorry Bob, but you're the one sending the wrong message: censorship because YOU don't like the message.

The agreement hammered out in federal court this week stipulates that Fioretti and three other aldermen named in the lawsuit will no longer “oppose, interfere or obstruct” the permit application process for Felony Franks, 229 S. Western.

What does the owner of Felony Franks think?

“We live in the greatest country in the world. We have freedom of speech. If I cannot be allowed to call my business what I want, then we’re living in a dictatorship, not a democracy,” said owner Jim Andrews, who hires ex-offenders. “If you fight hard enough for what you believe in, the system works. The only thing wrong with the system is the consumer shouldn’t have to fight as hard as I had to fight for what’s right.”

And Bob, since when is helping to reintegrate ex-cons into society a bad thing? Oh, and about that lawsuit ...

[It's] still pending and Andrews is still demanding $293,000 in damages for business lost during the 2½-year sign battle.

Here's hoping Mr. Andrews is victorious. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Apparently looking different is a problem in East Cooper, South Carolina. Two teens must have known this when they hatched their plan, which The Juice has dubbed "The Spandex Chronicles." As reported by The Post and Courier:

Two teens wearing black from head to toe drew suspicion at a local pharmacy about 3 p.m. April 20 and police were called, a report states.

All black? Head for the hills!

On the way to the pharmacy, Mount Pleasant police were told by dispatchers that the boys had left the pharmacy and were walking around the mall parking lot. Dispatchers said the boys were wearing black suits that covered them from head to toe.

Police looked for the boys but couldn't find them, so they went to the pharmacy that had reported the teens. A woman working there was visibly nervous and told police what the boys looked like, the report says.

We got ourselves a manhunt!

Another officer had found the boys walking near another pharmacy. The teenagers said they bought the spandex black suits from an online website and that they were walking around just looking for attention. They said their parents had dropped them off.

Whew. That was a close one! What did the police do with the boys?

Police told the teenagers about the impression they had made and called their parents to pick them up.

You mean the same parents who dropped them off? Here's the source.