Articles Posted in Oops

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brilliant idea smart

Dude, on your best day, you’re not smarter than the cops. You should have just fessed up to it. But no, you hatched this “brilliant” plan to get out of the jam you created. As reported by highlinetimes.com (Burien, Washington):

The King County Sheriff’s Department is reporting that a man in northeast Burien was formally charged with a hit and run after he reported his late model Honda stolen. The incident took place in the early morning hours of April 7 when the suspect was driving near the intersection of Military Road South and South 120th Street. Witnesses told police that they saw the suspect in his Honda driving along South 120th Street when he drove off the road and hit a tree before ultimately lodging his car into a fence. The suspect was then said to have fled the scene or the accident on foot. Shortly after the wreck, the suspect called the police and reported that his vehicle had been stolen. When police investigated the auto theft, they determined that the owner of the vehicle was the very same driver to have driven the car off the road. The suspect was formally charged with a hit and run. Police did not release information about whether alcohol was involved in this accident or not.

It probably went something like this: Police: “So, where were you last night?” Dude: “Okay! I give up! The car wasn’t stolen. Man you guys are good. Just like on TV!”

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man in handcuffs handcuffed

There’s something to be said for doing things the old-fashioned way. For example, when you steal stuff, visit your local fence. Maybe it’ll decrease your profit margin, but you get one-stop shopping, and you know who you’re doing business with. This gent went new-school with Craigslist. Like many thieves before him, things didn’t work out too well. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

A Louisville man has been arrested for selling stolen goods on Craigslist.

Police say Blain Morgan used the popular classifieds website to buy and sell stolen property worth over $10,000. Officers caught up with him after he allegedly listed a stolen computer and printer on the site. According to police, those items were stolen during a business burglary.

Morgan was arrested Monday afternoon and charged with receipt of stolen property.

Doh! Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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job

Are you insinuating, sir, that I am not gainfully employed? Well, let me tell you something … Per wfmj.com:

School authorities report to police that the fifteen year old boy was caught in the school with five packages of pot on Tuesday. The assistant principal told officers that the boy confessed that he intended to sell the marijuana to another student.

Uh-oh.

When officers questioned the teen, they asked the student if he was employed.

Good question.

The student, who was wearing blue jeans and tie-dyed Jimi Hendrix tee shirt replied,”Well, I sell weed.”

Bam! Best answer in the history of Boardman Township, Ohio, ever, in any setting.

He faces charges in juvenile court of trafficking marijuana in school.

You’ll find the source here.

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bank teller

This teller must have missed the part in teller training about depositing funds by account number. (Who would do it by name?) Well, it turns out there is at least one teller out there who does it by name. And oh man is that teller in the soup. As reported by The Athens Banner-Herald (Athens, Georgia):

 The error occurred March 7, when a Madison County man went into First Citizens Bank on U.S. Highway 29, Hull, and made a $31,000 deposit, but because there are several people by the same name with accounts at the bank, the teller put the money into the wrong account, according to the sheriff’s report.

Doh!

On March 17, the victim called the bank about the money missing from his account. Tellers looked into the matter and discovered the error, deputies said. However, by that time, the 18-year-old Hull man who wrongly received the money had withdrawn $20,000 cash and spent $5,000 using his ATM card, deputies said.

Can you imagine the look on that young man’s face when he saw what his balance was? Best day ever!

The suspect came back into the Hull branch on March 18 wanting to withdraw more money, but a teller informed him of the mistake and asked him to return the money, deputies said. The teen then insisted the money was from an inheritance.

Quick thinking lad.

A deputy went to the teen’s house, where the teen again said he thought the money came from his grandmother’s estate.

It’s the best story I’ve got, and I’m sticking to it!

The deputy told the teen the bank wants the money back as soon as possible, so the teen told the officer he would go to the bank and try to settle the matter without going to jail, according to the report.

However, the teen never showed back at the bank and banking officials told investigators last week that if the suspect didn’t return the money, they would prosecute.

No charges have been filed yet, Investigator Doug Martin said Tuesday.

“Yet.” Here’s the source.

 

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marijuana smell odor

Certainly most people are not dumb enough to just send weed through the mail without trying to mask the smell.  So the question is, does the masking agent smell stronger than the weed? Well, as reported by The Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Eight packages filled with marijuana were discovered at a mail sorting facility in Hazelwood, Mo. when workers there noticed the boxes smelled like pot.

Wait, you smelled the pot? But we masked that, dagnabbit!

The packages, which were addressed to residences in Godfrey and Bethalto, also contained dryer sheets that were apparently intended to mask the smell of the drugs. The boxes were marked with a fictitious return address in California.

Doh! At least they didn’t put their own return address on the packages! But it may not be over yet because …

Postal workers and the Metropolitan Enforcement Group of Southwestern Illinois are investigating the case.

Here’s the source.

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cigarette butt

If you’re thinking this story is about a smoker who did something with a cigarette butt that caused a HUGE amount of damage, you would be right. Per The Star-Ledger (via nj.com):

Middlesex County acting Prosecutor Andrew C. Carey said investigators believe that [school custodian] Jerome C. Higgins, 48, of East Brunswick, tossed an unfinished portion of a cigarette into a trash can inside the school before he left the building sometime Saturday.

Uh-oh.

Carey said the contents of the trash can, located in a custodian’s office, caught fire and the blaze spread throughout the building at about 7:45 p.m.

The result was an inferno that consumed the 50-year-old building that held 450 students in kindergarten through fifth grade.

Poof. Just like that, the building was gone. There must be some serious consequences for that, right? Well …

Higgins is charged with a petty disorderly persons offense for smoking inside the school.

Well, it’s not like anyone will be inconvenienced or anything …

[Edison Board of Education President Gene] Maeroff said the school’s students and staff will not return to school until Wednesday when they will be placed in temporary quarters at Middlesex County College in Edison until more permanent facilities can be found.

All of the children will have to be bused to the college, which is several miles away from the school.

“We’re doing this so they will all stay together,” the board president said. “After a few weeks, they will go to more permanent facility once we find one.”

Um. Sorry? Click here for the source, some photos, a video, and some additional information on this unfortunate event.

 

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u s us marshal badge

Okay, so this gent is probably a good U.S. Marshal. Still, ain’t no way Raylan Givens would have done this. Yeah, yeah. The Juice knows it’s a television show. But hey, it’s a damn good one.

As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

An off-duty U.S. Marshal left his loaded gun in a dressing room at the Silver Sands Outlet Mall on Sunday afternoon.

A customer at Kenneth Cole found the gun in the dressing room.

She alerted a store clerk who then called the Walton County Sheriff’s Office.

By the time deputies arrived, the law officer had realized he had left his gun behind and was walking back in to retrieve it, said Catherine Rodriguez, a spokeswoman for the Sheriff’s Office.

“He felt pretty awful about it,” she said.

Would have felt worse if the gun had walked off and, say, was used in a crime. As for why the Marshal may have let his guard down …

The officer is a U.S. Marshal out of Atlanta who is vacationing in the area, Rodriguez said.

You’ll find the source here.

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too good to be true scam

Yeah, this was a job alright – a con job. How do people not see through these schemes? This one is out of the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach) as reported by brooklynpaper.com:

The [22-year-old] victim said she applied for a position listed on the website Craigslist from her home in between 15th and 16th avenues and got a call from the schemer that she had gotten the job. The con man sent her two checks for $6,291.87, and told her to deposit them in her personal account and write and deliver checks to three of his vendors, she said.

The victim complied, and signed three checks totalling $4,799.10 and personally gave them to the supposed employees — only to get a call at 2 pm on Feb. 8 from a bank stating that the checks she had received were fraudulent and she was out the four grand in dough, police reported.

Who pays their bills that way? Why would the “employer” not just pay the “vendors” directly, by mail or otherwise? Like he needs you to do that? Doh!

 

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craigslist

Craigslist is a fantastic marketplace. You can literally buy and sell anything, or so these gents thought. As reported by The Colorado Springs Police Department:

On 02/01/14 at approximately 1700 hrs. Officer M. McCormick, was dispatched to the 1600 block of Loraine St. to investigate a reported burglary. Upon arrival he contacted the Victim who stated that between approximately 2200 hrs. on 1/31/14 and 1000 hrs. on 02/01/14 that an unknown person illegally entered his open attached garage and removed his Cannondale brand mountain bike valued at approximately $5,000.00. The Victim stated that his bicycle was very unique in that it was comprised of parts that he specifically purchased to put on the bicycle.

Not to digress,  or say anything negative about a fellow cyclist, but you left the garage door open? Oh well. The damage has been done. Or … has it?

The Victim immediately began a search on Craigslist in an attempt to see if he could locate an ad containing his stolen bicycle. The Victim located an ad for a Cannondale bicycle that was posted approximately 12 hours after he initially reported the burglary.

That’s my bike! That’s my bike! But the police will never believe me. Or … will they?

The Victim then contacted Officer Brian Kelly, with the Colorado Springs Police Department and showed him the photographs of the Cannondale brand mountain bike. On 02/03/14 at approximately 1500 hrs, Officer Kelly contacted Detective Strachan and explained that the Victim was confident that the photos on the Craigslist ad were of his bicycle. Officers established telephone contact with the party on the Craigslist ad and a meeting was arranged at the Safeway store located at 624 W. Highway 105 in Monument Colorado. The Monument Police Department was notified and present as Detectives and Officers took part in a coordinated plan to meet with the party selling the bicycle. At the pre-arranged meeting, Officers checked for the serial numbers and were able to recognize the bicycle as the same one in the ad from the upgraded parts.

Four individuals that were posing as the sellers of the bicycle were detained. William Fortune (20), and Tyler Fraser (22) were taken into custody and transported to the Gold Hill substation. At the time Mr. Fortune was taken into custody he was in possession of a .40 Caliber Smith and Wesson semi-automatic handgun. The handgun was concealed on his person in the back waistband underneath his shirt and pants. Mr. Fortune does not have a valid Concealed Carry Permit and is only 20 years old.

Mr. Fortune confessed to removing the Cannondale bicycle from the open garage. Mr. Fortune took the bicycle back to his residence and contacted Tyler Fraser and asked him for assistance selling the bicycle on Craigslist for $2,000.00.

William Fortune was charged with Second Degree Burglary, Theft (Felony) and Unlawfully Carrying a Concealed Weapon and Tyler Fraser was charged with Theft (Felony). Both were transported to the Criminal Justice Center.

Bam!

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door bell doorbell ding dong ditch

There can’t be many boys out there who never played “doorbell ditch.” A few Missouri boys have definitely played this game out. In fact, they may never ring ANY doorbell again. As reported by The News-Leader (news-leader.com:

Police say the boys angered the female resident to the point that she tried to run one down with her van, punched another three times while holding a knife to his chest and threatened to kill the boys and others, all while shouting racial slurs.

Ashley D. Crossland followed one boy to the house where the boys were having a sleepover, police say, and illegally entered the home. Confronted by a father of one of the boys, Crossland allegedly “threatened to slit his throat and everyone’s throats in the house, including the babies.”

You can read a lot more, and see the perp’s mug shot here.