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fist
Sometimes looks can deceive. This is one of those times! As reported at mmafighting.com:

Strawweight fighter Monique Bastos was on the way for her jiu-jitsu training with two friends in Acailandia, Brazil, on Tuesday night, when two men attacked her. They wanted their phones, but they had no idea Bastos was an MMA fighter.

“I was going to my jiu-jitsu training when they arrived on a motorcycle and said they wanted our phones,” Bastos told MMAFighting.com. “I tried to hold my phone, and I realized they were not armed. When they tried to escape, I lifted the rear wheel of the bike and they fell on the ground. The guy who took my phone ran away, but I was able to get the other one.”

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beach sand
There are a lot of silly laws on the books. Take this one, for example from the Municipal Code of the City of Manhattan Beach, California:

12.08.300 – Throwing missiles.

No person shall throw, or otherwise propel, any missile, or mud or sand anywhere on the beach.

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submarine sandwich
In the wake of all the negative publicity Subway has garnered thanks to Jared, perhaps this could be seen as good publicity? I mean, these kids must really like Subway sandwiches, or they wouldn’t have done this. After all, they could have gone after a lot of other food. Here’s the story, as posted by wtvr.com (Richmond, Virginia):

Police are looking for a trio of teens seen in surveillance video, who robbed a VCU student of his sandwich at gun point.

Surveillance video shows the three teens, in a Subway sandwich shop, not ordering anything, until one asked for a cup of water.

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salt
Yes, you’re right. It wasn’t just any old salt. It was Epsom salt! As reported by The Fraser Coast Chronicle:

A Maryborough man charged with “ice” possession spent four months in prison waiting for forensic analysis of the substance – but was later released when testing determined it was not methylamphetamine.

Four months while the guy languished in prison?

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easter bunny
Forget about “I only had 2 drinks …” or “I was looking for the Easter Bunny…” Wait, that’s what this dude said he was doing. As reported by The Union Leader:

John Fowler, 50 … claimed a man had come to his house with information about the location of the Easter Bunny, and Fowler said he attempted to follow him.

What, like you wouldn’t do exactly the same thing?

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texting
Anybody with half a brain knows how stupid it is to text and drive. It’s also illegal in many states. Still, people continue to do it alarmingly often. As reported by www.news965.com:

A 23-year-old driver in Fort Myers, Fla., admits he was texting while driving when he was caught on video rolling his car after hitting a power pole and a tree.

Driver Michael Woody climbed out of the car safely following the crash and told responding officers that his only impairment was his cell phone … he was texting while driving, something that is now illegal in Florida.

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911 emergency call phone telephone

One would think that, somewhere along the way, this kid learned that 911 is for emergencies only. If not, he should definitely know now. Per The Wisconsin Rapids Tribune police log:

• At 10:49 a.m. Monday, an 11-year-old boy called 911 because his friend used the “F” word at the caller.

Guess what happened next? Nothing, of course!

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shit
Even those among you who think that words like “shit”are “bad” words should concede that they are okay to use when they are integral to the story.  Somehow “contents of the septic tank” just doesn’t get the point across like “shit” does. Anyway, as reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

Stanley Lee Dixon, 52, of 5153 Carolina Highway, Denmark, pleaded guilty on Monday to littering over 500 pounds.

Circuit Judge Maite Murphy sentenced Dixon to one year of incarceration at the S.C. Department of Corrections, but reduced it to six months of probation.

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red traffic light signal
Wait – so you’re saying if I post videos on Facebook, other people can see them? Why didn’t anyone tell me this? As reported by pix11.com:

Stephen Ruth of Centereach, Long Island apparently got tired of getting tickets after trying to beat red lights at intersections with cameras affixed to them.

So police said Ruth, 42, did something about it — and then bragged about it on Facebook.

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trail breadcrumbs bread crumbs candy
Okay so it is vandalism, but it barely register’s on the Vandalometer.  How was he caught? The way many “criminals” are caught, of course – by following the trail of penises! As reported by TheLocal.dk:

A 31-year old man from Aalborg was convicted for a fairly bizarre act of vandalism on Tuesday.

On a visit to the local IKEA in Aalborg, the man had taken one of the store’s wooden pencils and proceeded to casually stroll through the warehouse drawing small penises on the walls and pieces of furniture on display.