Articles Posted in Extra Pulp

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panty panties
In describing this woman as the “best panty thief ever,” The Juice is talking volume. But volume isn’t everything. You know how athletes are often characterized by their level of field awareness? Well, this woman has absolutely NO camera awareness, which will probably lead to her apprehension. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

A woman pilfered 785 pairs of panties at the Victoria’s Secret at Lenox Square Mall on Saturday, Officer Ralph Woolfolk said Thursday.

The suspected thief put the panties in three shopping bags in a raid on the store lasting two hours and absconded, Woolfolk said.

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suitcase travel airport woman
Sure, maybe you get 2-for-1 occasionally. Hell, maybe you go to a super sale now and again, and with multiple markdowns, get something for 90% off the original price. But you will never, ever get the deals this woman gets when she travels. Via kstp tv (Minneapolis, Minnesota):

ABC News reports “serial stowaway” Marilyn Jean Hartman [age 63] was arrested Monday in Florida. She’s accused of posing as a guest and checking into a resort property after boarding a flight to Jacksonville International Airport without a boarding pass.

Two questions: How the hell do you get through security without a boarding pass? How the hell do you get on the plane without a boarding pass?

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teach class classroom
If you have successfully beaten the system (way to go New Jersey!), and are getting paid on an ongoing basis, why would you take an on-the-books job? See, that’s how you get caught. As reported by NJ Advance Media for nj.com:

[Former Piscataway, New Jersey teacher] John Brishcar, 59, of Front Royal, Va., admitted he received the money [$248,960] after claiming in 2003 he could no longer work as a middle school teacher for the Piscataway School District due to “prolonged stress and chronic back pain,” the Attorney General’s Office said.

The application for disability was approved in 2004. By that time, Brishcar was working as a substitute teacher in West Virginia, and, in 2005, he accepted a full-time job as a sixth grade science teacher at Warren County Middle School in Front Royal. Brishcar has since been suspended from his Virginia job pending the outcome of the case.

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roadrunner%20coyote%20acme.jpg

If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And lest you feel complacent because of Mr. Wile E. Coyote’s track record, rumor has it that he is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

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nose
To call this pair “smugglers” would raise the ire of smugglers everywhere.  As reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):

Two Canadians were charged with possession of 75 pounds of marijuana Thursday and jailed on $25,000 bail, according to state police.

Troopers charged Chantal L. Mondon, 35, and Dat-Shing Chao, 26, both of Laval Quebec, for drug possession.

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police officer cop policeman
If you can believe the police shows and movies, the worst jobs are probably desk jobs and traffic. This unit ain’t nothing like that! As reported by countercurrentnews.com:

A police officer in Arkansas recently lost his job after he exposed a massive scheme that allowed officers to have sex with prostitutes and then arrest them for servicing the undercover cops.

So much for having your cake and eating it too.

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money
Really, if you’re going to commit an armed robbery, with 2 other people (!), you can’t do any better than this? Rolls of pennies? As reported by wmbfnews.com (Myrtle Beach, SC):

Three males in hooded sweatshirts and masks robbed a convenience store in Horry County at gunpoint Monday night, making off with $250 in cash and 20 rolls of pennies, according to authorities.

Horry County Police responded to the Market Express convenience store at 490 E. Highway 9 at about 10 p.m. in reference to the armed robbery. The three males entered the store and told the clerk to lay down on the floor. The suspects were in and out of the store in less than three minutes, the police report states. There were no injuries reported.

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subway metro car
You go out drinking, and shit happens. But four times? Fuhgeddaboutit. As reported in the The Police Blotter in The Brooklyn Paper [88th Precinct (Fort Greene–Clinton Hill)]:

Some careful crooks emptied the pockets of a man sleeping on the Q train on Dec. 13, according to police.

The groggy 43-year-old straphanger said he was drinking at a bar in the Midtown section of Manhattan and boarded a Brooklyn-bound Q train at 11:30 pm on Dec. 12.

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pills drugs
You know how when you watch TV shows about jail or prison, the joints are filled with contraband? Well, it’s true. Some prisons have such a problem with prisoners using cell phones that they have to jam them! As for drugs in the joint, here’s an example, as reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, NY).

St. Lawrence County Sheriff deputies say they charged a St. Lawrence County Correctional Facility inmate with felonies for allegedly selling drugs while locked up.

Matthew J. Hough is charged with fourth-degree criminal sale of a controlled substance and first-degree promoting prison contraband, both felonies.

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angel
Why would your appearance require that you are always on your best behavior, or at least on the right side of the law? The answer will soon be abundantly clear.  As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

Kenneth Dewain Parker was in an argument with a woman on Oct. 26, according to the arrest report. Parker was in an argument with the victim when he allegedly hit her in the face.

The victim also told Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies that she had bruises on her arms where Parker “forcefully grabbed her,” the report said. A witness, who had called deputies, described Parker hitting the victim.

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