Articles Posted in Say What?

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Sure thing dude. My house is your house! No, the homeowner wouldn’t have said that, because she had no idea who the guy was! As reported by The Salina Journal (

A burglar apparently got a case of the munchies after breaking into a house in the 700 block of North Seventh Street on Tuesday afternoon, and — possibly even more bizarre — he argued with the occupant and refused to leave once she returned home.

Capt. Mike Sweeney said Luella Garrett, 52, returned to her home about 3:10 p.m. to find a stranger sitting on her couch. She called 911 to report the incident, telling the dispatcher that the man refused to leave, Sweeney said.

Sweeney said officers responding to the call found empty boxes of Cap’n Crunch cereal and Crunch ‘n Munch popcorn in the kitchen trash can. Also, a Brillo pad was missing, and two betta fish were found dead in the bottom of an empty fish tank.

Maurice Scott, 30, who was still at the house when officers arrived, initially gave police a false name. He was arrested on charges of aggravated burglary, interference with a law enforcement officer, theft, animal cruelty and damage to property.

Sweeney said Scott allegedly went to the front door of the house but discovered it was locked. He allegedly took off his shoes and opened a window so he could climb inside. A bedroom door was broken open, causing $50 in damage.

The cereal, popcorn, fish and Brillo pad were valued at a total of $27.

The fish? Man, that’s just mean! (Stole that from Lee Marvin in “Payback.”) Here’s the source.

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gun handgun shot shooting

First this man gets shot just for going to church? (So he wasn’t exactly just “going to church.”) Then, he gets busted for being in a Burger King? (So it was a little after closing?) As reported by

A man [who] was shot and wounded by a church pastor last week after allegedly breaking into a Baytown church is now accused of breaking into a Burger King.

Lee Marvin Blue, 27, was shot in the right shoulder and taken to Memorial Hermann Hospital. Police say that after his surgery, Blue walked out of the hospital.

Shortly before 4 a.m. Monday, police were called to the Burger King at 3598 Cleburne concerning a break in. Inside, police say they found Blue, who told officers that he needed to use the restroom so he broke in the door. He also microwaved some hamburgers.

Blue is now in the Harris County Jail on no bond.

At least he won’t get into any more trouble for a while. Here’s the source, with Mr. Blue’s mugshot.

(Don’t you all forget who brings you Legal Juice every day, and has for the past 8 years. (Yes, there are thousands of searchable posts at  The Juice is a personal injury lawyer who represents folks injured in automobile, bicycle and pedestrian accidents in Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia.)


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ice cream truck

Is it just me, or does it seem like there are a lot of strange ice cream truck driver stories? Here’s another one, as reported by

Last Friday night may have seemed like the prime time for dessert, but those who frequented an ice cream truck in Clarence [New York] met a rude surprise.

Officials say the driver of the truck acted belligerently by yelling at kids, but that wasn’t all parents had to complain about. Police say the driver drove while wearing nothing but his underwear.

Erie County Sheriff’s Deputies who responded to the complaint Friday arrested 24-year-old East Amherst native Ryan Duff. They say following investigation, they realized he was driving high on drugs through the Emily Court neighborhood.

While in police custody, officers say he refused to cooperate with testing, and a drug recognition expert made the final determination that he was under the influence. .

Police charged Duff with DWI-drugs and others charges, then released him to a sober driver.

He’s scheduled to return to Clarence Town Court on Aug. 25.

Yikes. You’ll find the source here.

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People say the darnedest things! Take this New Jersey gent. (Too late – the cops already did.) As reported by NJ Advance Media for

A township man caught with cocaine and a loaded handgun tried to explain away the powder on his face by telling police that he had just eaten a doughnut, authorities said Wednesday.

Police pulled over the Jeep Grand Cherokee that 30-year-old Octavio Delasuaree was driving after it cut off their patrol car Sunday night on Route 23, according to Capt. Laurence Martin.

Officers Joseph Rooney and Robert Fernandez noticed Delasuaree was having labored breathing, while his hands were shaking uncontrollably, Martin said.

Delasuaree also had powder around his nostrils and mouth, Martin added.

“Mr. Delasuaree attempted to explain his condition by stating he had just eaten a doughnut,” the captain wrote in an e-mail. “The officers observed a clear plastic bag on the floor that was suspected cocaine.”

Police discovered 17 oxycodone pills and a Sig Sauer 9mm semi-automatic handgun in the passenger seat-area, Martin said. The gun was loaded with four hollow point bullets.

Delasuaree told police the gun was for his own protection, according to authorities. He was arrested on charges including possession of a firearm as a convicted felon and drug offenses.

Police said Delasuaree was ordered held on $100,000 bail, with no 10 percent option.

100,000 simoleans? That’s a lot of dough. Here’s the source.

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red car

The fact that someone stole this car kind of makes you wonder what the other choices were. As reported by The Indepedent Record (Helena, Montana):

The Lewis and Clark County Sheriff’s Office is seeking information on a 2003 Red Dodge Neon, which was reported stolen Thursday at 4:07 p.m.

“The car was taken between 8:30 a.m. and 3 p.m. yesterday,” said Sgt. Brian Robinson. The four-door passenger car, with license plate 5-08162A, has tinted windows, damage to the rear bumper and custom black and chrome wheels.

Vehicle sightings can be reported by calling 911, Robinson said, adding, “Do not approach the vehicle.”

Here’s the source.

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As crimes go, this could have been a lot worse. In fact, it’s $5 away from not being a crime at all.  As reported by The Highline Times (Burien, Washington):

When the pastor of Highline United Methodist Church arrived to their location in north Burien on February 25th, she called 911 and let police know that she believed someone had broken into the church. She told police that she saw someone and heard footsteps though no one, other than herself, was scheduled to be there for work at the time. When she called out to whomever might be in the building, she heard them flee the building. Police arrived at the church a short time later and found that the only thing that was taken from the church was an estimated $5 worth of chocolate from the kitchen. Police found no damage to the building and nothing else missing.



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library books overdue

Do you really need a law criminalizing the failure to return a library book? Rhode Island thinks you do, and they have one!

Criminal Offenses
Theft, Embezzlement, False Pretenses, and Misappropriation
SECTION 11-41-14

§ 11-41-14  Failure to return book or other library property. – (a) Any person who shall take or borrow any book or other library property from any of the libraries or collections as defined in § 11-44-15(b), and who, upon neglect to return it within the time required and specified in the bylaws, rules, or regulations of the library owning the property, after receiving notice in writing by the librarian or other proper custodian of the property that it is overdue, shall upon further neglect to return it within sixty (60) days from the date of the notice be guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be fined not more than twenty-five dollars ($25.00), the fine to be for the use of the library. A written or printed notice given personally or sent by mail to a last known or registered place of residence shall be considered a sufficient notice. In addition, if the book should be lost, destroyed, or not returned, the person shall within sixty (60) days after being so notified pay to the custodian the replacement value of the book, including all reasonable processing costs, as determined by the governing board having jurisdiction.

(b) All library users shall be notified of the penalties provided in subsection (a) of this section at the time they obtain or renew their library privileges. The final notice provided for in subsection (a) of this section shall also contain notice of the penalties.

So it’s only $25, but it’s still a crime, which is just absurd. And do you really think, as required in subsection (b), that new users are told that about this? Unlikely. Here’s a link to the text of the law.

(This post, and thousands of others, are brought to you by Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia personal injury lawyer John Mesirow, a/k/a “The Juice.” He handles accident cases involving cars, bicycles, pedestrians, dunking booths [really!], trolleys, trucks, etc.)


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trash cans

Trust me, your trash isn’t that interesting. As reported by The Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

Seattle’s privacy is in the trash, according to eight people suing the city over its composting ordinance.

A lawsuit filed today in King County Superior Court argues that Seattle’s composting ordinance violates constitutional privacy by allowing garbage collectors to sift through peoples’ trash without a warrant.

The suit was announced Thursday morning at a news conference in Kerry Park, where supporters and plaintiffs held signs that read “Stop City Snooping!” and “Don’t Trash My Privacy.”

The Seattle ordinance — approved by voters last year and in effect since January — prohibits residents from throwing food and compostable paper in with regular trash and requires collectors to visually inspect trash to make sure that no more than 10 percent of the contents is compostable.

You can read more here.

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The most important rule regarding any form of communication is thus: “Would I mind if this was out there for the whole world to see?” Well, in retrospect, I think this fellow would mind. As reported by

A Crystal Lake lawyer mocked the size of a client’s penis and challenged him to a duel, according to a complaint filed by the Illinois Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission.

Attorney Donald Franz called client Mike Rutkowski a “small penis a——e” and “insulted Rutkowsky’s manhood and choice of automobiles,” the complaint said.

Franz also allegedly sent an email to Rutkowski that said, “My mistake, there is only one man involved between us. I challenge you to a duel, you pick the time, place and manner.”

Franz and Rutkowski were in a dispute over $400. Franz had billed that amount for his “efforts to reduce the assessed value of real property (Rutkowski) had recently purchased,” the complaint said.

In his answer to the complaint, Franz admitted to the “general characterization” of the small-penis quip but “denies insulting Rutkowski’s manhood or choice of automobiles.” He also said the duel challenge was taken out of context.

The entire message reads: “Can you please tell me where you would like to be served? Fee agreements are not required in these matters and not between men. My mistake, there is only one man involved between us. I challenge you to a duel, you pick the time, place and manner. I choose small claims court. See you very soon. Don,” Franz said in his answer.

“In its totality, the email is not a threat of violence or challenge to a duel, it is a threat to sue in small claims court,” he said.

Alrighty then. Here’s the source.

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Two Girls hiding behind Straw Bale in Field

You rob a bank and you get away. Of course you wouldn’t go to any of your known haunts, or … would you? As reported by NJ Advance Media for

Within hours of publicizing photos from bank surveillance after a TD Bank robbery, more than a dozen tipsters recognized a 30-year-old Lakehurst man and contacted the police.

So they id’d him, but where was he? Funny you should ask …

Jerome Gilby, 30, was taken into custody at his girlfriend’s house Monday afternoon for the July 10 robbery that occurred at 10 Mule Road in Toms River, police said.

Your girlfriend’s house? Really? Why not just go to your own house? As for the details …

At approximately 6:45 p.m. last Friday, a man entered the TD Bank and handed the teller a note demanding cash. He then fled on foot into an unknown direction.

“Investigators from the FBI, Ocean County Sheriff’s Department CSI Unit, Lakehurst Police, Brick Police, and the Seaside Heights Police Department worked closely to track down the whereabouts of Gilby,” a Toms River Police Department press release said.

The robber was described by authorities as a white male, 25-35 years old, 5-foot-9 and around 170 pounds. He was wearing a black Chicago Bulls Starter hat with a “doo rag” underneath and white sunglasses.

Gilby is being held on $100,000 bail with no 10 percent option.

Click here for the source, which includes a mug shot.