Articles Posted in Say What?

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police car

The Juice believes in being totally honest when he gets pulled over. Recently, when an officer pulled him over and asked if he knew he was going 71 mph on a 50 mph road, he replied “only 71?” But seriously folks, as reported by news1130.com (Vancouver, BC):

Police are highlighting the seriousness of drunk and distracted driving by telling us about some of the silly excuses people give them while breaking the law.

The cops are hearing things like: “You are wasting your time, I have driven way more drunk than this!” and “If you impound my car I won’t be able to get to court tomorrow and it will be your fault.”

Brilliant!

“The other one I like is the name-dropper story. So, a vehicle is pulled over and the driver immediately starts listing off Abbotsford Police officers that he knows very well. And he doesn’t recognize that one of the names he offers is actually the officer that stopped him. He goes into the background of this officer and the punchline is finally on him because the officer says, ‘I’m actually one of the names that you’ve listed, and I have no idea who you are.’”

Doh! You’ll find the source here.

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magic woman

This is your story, and you’re sticking with it! Well, it’s not a a very good one. As reported by The Arab Times:

A Kuwaiti citizen has filed a complaint with the Fahaheel Police Station accusing a female black magician of taking all his money, reports Al-Rai daily. The complainant said he withdrew KD 1,000 from a bank branch when an unidentified veiled woman approached him and spoke some strange words. He then handed to her the KD 1,000 which he had withdrawn from the bank and another KD 250 which he had on his person. He added, when he came to his senses, the woman had disappeared.

Uh-huh.

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cuffed handcuffed crime

If you’ve watched any TV, you would know that only serial killers return to the scene of the crime. In this case, returning to the scene of the crime isn’t the issue. This dude never left! As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s police blotter (88th Precinct – Fort Greene–Clinton Hill):

Authorities arrested a 34-year-old who they say stole beer from a Classon Avenue deli after threatening the clerk with a gun wrapped in a purple bandana on June 12.

You already have more than an inkling as to how this gent was caught.

The deli worker told cops he was in the store between Putnam and Gates avenues at 7:45 am when the accused came in and placed the festively adorned weapon on the counter. The suspect then ambled over to the refrigerator, grabbed three beers, and left without paying, according to a police report.

Cops responded to a call from the clerk and found the accused outside the store, the report says. Police arrested the fellow after they searched him and found a stolen Beretta from Saint Louis, Missouri wrapped in a bandana tucked into his front pocket, according to officials.

He never left!

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angry man anger

Something set this guy off,  because he went berzerk. As reported by CBC News:

Durham Regional Police say that witnesses reported seeing a Honda going north on Concession Road 7 at a high rate of speed and swerving in front of oncoming traffic at 5:30 p.m. Wednesday.

Police allege that the driver stopped near Foster Drive, got out of his car and confronted other motorists.

Not cool, but it was just beginning.

According to police, the same individual then drove away and stopped near Ravenshoe Road, where it is alleged that he reached into the cab of a dump truck, assaulted the driver and damaged a radio.

Police also allege that the suspect then threw a hammer, which hit the dump truck driver’s arm.

Even less cool.

It is also alleged that the suspect swung a recycling box at a homeowner, which hit that individual in the head.

Really, really uncool.

The suspect is also accused of assaulting a police officer that came to arrest him.

Now you’ve done it.

[The] 53-year-old Udora man faces two counts of assault with a weapon, a charge of assault, a charge of assaulting a police officer, dangerous operation of a motor vehicle and mischief under $5,000.

You’ll find the source here.

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skid marks car tires squealing wheels

Not even a warning? Come on! As reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):

An Ogdensburg man was charged with squealing tires at 10:40 p.m. Tuesday at the intersection of State Street and Riverside Avenue, according to police.

Edmund Barr, 24, of 310 Rosseel St., was issued a traffic ticket for squealing his tires.

You’ll find the source here.

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driving road

How about this explanation given by a man arrested for exposing himself while driving? As reported by The Kitsap Sun (Washington):

A 24-year-old Bremerton man arrested Wednesday for indecent exposure told a State Patrol trooper he was driving his car while not wearing pants because he recently received a body wax.

The “Manzilian,” or Brazilian for men, resulted in his jeans irritating his skin, he told the trooper, so he had been driving in his underwear.

A witness told investigators she had seen the man exposing himself and sticking out his tongue while driving on Highway 16 near the Tremont Street overpass, and had been doing so “since Gig Harbor,” according to court documents.

The man was booked into Kitsap County Jail and held on $5,000 bail.

Are you buying it? Here’s the source.

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Subway Station in Munich

Was this gent sleeping or passed out? You make the call. As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter for the 88th Precinct (Fort Greene–Clinton Hill):

The 46-year-old said he boarded the Brooklyn-bound train at Grand Central Station at 5 am. He told cops he was intoxicated and fell asleep shortly after boarding, and when he woke up the train had reached the end of the line at New Lots Avenue and turned around, according to a police report.

As he exited the train at Nevins Street, he discovered that his rear pocket had been cut and his wallet removed, the report says. The guy was out $350 cash, plus debit and credit cards, he said.

So, he was only awakened when the train got to the end of the line. And the thief was able to cut his pants and take his wallet unnoticed. The Juice is going with “passed out.”

 

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mall shopping

You probably guessed that this did not happen in the United States. It happened in Kuwait, as reported by the Arab Times.

Some 45 youths were arrested by security operatives for loitering at the commercial complexes in Jahra governorate. The campaign, which was conducted upon the directives of Jahra Security Chief Major General Ibrahim Al-Tarrah, resulted in the arrest of three juvenile for throwing stones at the lamp posts, with five other individuals involved in criminal and civil offenses. All suspects were referred to the concerned authorities.

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nude naked

When you’re naked, you are extremely vulnerable.  Clearly you’re even more vulnerable when you are in the shower.  A Houston woman was in just such a position when she heard a sound. Uh-oh. Per khou.com:

“I was showering and I heard banging and it sounded like construction being done on the house,” she explained. “I seen a guy punching with a glove and another guy was kicking at the same time. Immediately I knew what they were gonna do and my first reaction was find safety.”

What she didn’t manage to find was a towel or clothing of any kind. She did locate her keys and cell phone and slithered naked to the garage.

Whew.

“I let the garage up and started the car,” she recalled. ” I prayed and was like Lord please just let me get out safely.”

With that, she kicked it in reverse and somehow left her house unseen and unheard.

“Right after I got my first goal done I had a second goal and the second goal was to catch them,” she said.

So instead of driving as far from the house as she could, she called 9-1-1 and drove back around.

Gonna get you, suckas.

“I came back and got their license plate,” she said. “I had a full description of the car before I left but I came back a second time just to see and the third time around I saw all four of them walking out of my house.”

By the time a deputy constable arrived, the burglars were gone. The woman spotted some spare clothes in her car and put them on.

Who keeps spare clothes in their car? Anyway …

With a good description of the car, constables have tracked down the 17-year-old female owner and are questioning her. They believe all the suspects are teens who skipped school to commit the crime.

Think she’ll give up the other perps? Click here for the source.

 

 

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ipad

What kind of criminal would steal a tracking device? Perhaps one who doesn’t know anything about iPads? As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

Louisville Metro Police say they arrested a woman on Monday after she was caught with a stolen iPad.

You probably know how they caught her.

Police say the iPad was tracked via GPS to the home of 48-year-old Lisa M. Johnson on Huntoon Avenue, near the intersection of Taylor Blvd. and Southern Pkwy. It was there that officers recovered the stolen iPad, according to the arrest report.

Damn that machine!

Johnson allegedly admitted to being at the location of the burglary on the day it took place.

She was arrested and charged with receipt of stolen property.

Click here for the source, including a mug shot.