Articles Posted in Say What?

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baby boy

… a turkey baster. This is a good example of why you put things in writing. People rarely think things will go wrong, especially when dealing with friends. But making babies is serious stuff, and should be treated accordingly as the mother in this case now appreciates. As reported by Virginia Lawyers Weekly (via ap):

A woman who used a turkey baster to impregnate herself is on the losing side of a legal battle over parental rights.

You really can’t make these cases up. If you tried, people would say “That’s absurd! That would never happen!”

The Virginia Court of Appeals ruled Tuesday that the child’s biological father is more than a sperm donor and is entitled to be a part of his son’s life.

The case hinged on an informal agreement between two longtime friends: a woman who wanted to get pregnant and a man willing to supply the sperm to make it happen. According to court filings, Joyce Rosemary Bruce impregnated herself with a turkey baster, believing that Robert Preston Boardwine would not have any parental rights — including a say in the boy’s education and other decisions — because they did not have intercourse.

Said the court: “The path to fatherhood may have been unconventional,” … but it doesn’t remove Boardwine’s parental rights.

Bruce could appeal to the Supreme Court of Virginia . Neither her attorney nor Boardwine’s returned telephone messages seeking comment.

Here’s the back story:

The appeals court’s narrative recounts a woman’s quest for single motherhood, the crumbling of a friendship and a man’s persistence in seeking involvement in his child’s upbringing. It also shows what can happen when two people, even trusting friends, do business without putting it in writing.

It began with Bruce’s desire to have a child to raise on her own. She turned to her friend Boardwine, who agreed after some trepidation to provide the sperm. They discussed a written contract but never signed one.

Boardwine would stop by Bruce’s home and give her a plastic container of his sperm.

“Bruce used an ordinary turkey baster to inseminate herself,” the court said. “No other person was involved. They did not go to a doctor’s office or to a medical facility.”

It didn’t work. Bruce turned to a fertility doctor, and two inseminations with sperm from anonymous donors also failed.

So it was back to Boardwine and the turkey baster. After several visits from Boardwine in June 2010, Bruce learned the next month that she was pregnant.

Everything went well for a while, with Boardwine visiting and bringing a stuffed bear and baby clothes. But their expectations for the future were different. Bruce testified in the lower court that she wanted Boardwine to be only as involved as her other friends. He envisioned a more active role — attendance at the boy’s sporting events someday, and a voice in major decisions.

The relationship soured when Bruce rejected Boardwine’s suggested name for the child. They didn’t speak for about five months, until the boy was born and Boardwine showed up at the hospital. Later visits to Bruce’s home were “sort of strained,” the woman said, and she eventually told Boardwine to stay away.

When that happens, there’s really only one avenue of recourse.

That’s when the father went to court.

Bruce argued that Boardwine had no rights because, under the state’s assisted conception law, he was merely a sperm donor. But the law defines assisted conception as a pregnancy resulting from “medical technology,” and that definition doomed her argument.

“The plain meaning of the term ‘medical technology’ does not encompass a kitchen implement such as a turkey baster,” Judge Stephen R. McCullough wrote for the appeals court.

How bizarre is it that the gent’s claim hinges on whether a pregnancy resulting from a turkey baster is one that resulted from “medical techonology”? Here’s the source.

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dollar bill paper money

Unless you just don’t follow the news at all, you know about the gent who landed his gyrocopter on the lawn next to the US Capitol. He got that far because he flew under the radar. These two gents also must have been trying to fly under the radar by counterfeiting such a small bill. Otherwise, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Hell, it doesn’t make much sense regardless! As reported by tcpalm.com:

Two Broward County men have been accused of passing counterfeit money at local stores Friday afternoon, said Martin Sheriff’s spokeswoman Christine Christofek.  The men used up to 40 counterfeit $1 bills at Publix in the 2700 block of Southwest Martin Downs Boulevard in Palm City, Christofek said.

Michael Rice, 30, of Fort Lauderdale, is accused of using 14 $1 bills with identical serial numbers inside Publix.  Jacques Michel Desire Jr., 28, of Tamarac, is accused of using 21 $1 bills identical serial numbers at the Publix, reports show.

When deputies arrived Rice, 30, was taken into custody at 2:47 p.m. Friday, reports show. Desire took off running but was found several hours later in a wooded area on Basko Lane in Palm City.The men were each booked on $10,000 bond at the Martin County Jail.

Seriously? Go big, or just don’t go. Click here for the source.

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knife

Missy, I am crossing you off my list of babysitters! What did this woman do to deserve such a fate? Plenty, as reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News.

A Crestview woman is accused of picking up a knife and ordering a child she was babysitting to “go outside,” leaving the child afraid and crying.

The child, whose age is not reported, walked .5 miles to a friend’s house, crying and upset, on March 31, according to the arrest report. Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies were called around 5 p.m. by the friend’s mother.

Investigation found that 37-year-old Alicia Erin Rivera was babysitting the child when she got upset because he wouldn’t obey her and he “intentionally broke a light bulb,” the report said. Rivera told him “several times” to go outside and play, but the child refused and “began cursing” at Rivera.

She grabbed a knife with a six inch blade and told him, while holding the knife, that “he needed to go outside,” according to the report. She allegedly said she picked up the knife to scare the child into going outside.

He got scared and began crying before leaving the residence to walk to his friend’s house, the report said. Other children in the home reported seeing Rivera “display the knife towards” the child and “tell him to ‘get out’ of the residence.”

Yikes! So what is Ms. Rivera looking at?

She is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill and child abuse without great bodily harm.

Here’s the source, which includes a mug shot.

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You can’t make this stuff up. As reported by Counter Current News, and found at MintPressNews.com:

His story quickly went viral after a rural Oregon man was slapped with fines for collecting rain water on his own property. But now, as of last Wednesday, Gary Harrington of Eagle Point, has been sentenced to 30 days in jail and more than $1,500 in fines, all because he had three reservoirs on his own property, that he used to collect and use rainwater.

Harrington says he plans to appeal the conviction in the Jackson County Circuit Court. That conviction revolved around nine misdemeanor charges that come from a 1925 law. That archaic ordinance bans what state water managers called “illegal reservoirs.”

You can read A LOT MORE about this interesting case (well, not “interesting” to Mr. Harrington) here.

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subway nyc new york city

So often it’s the little things that trip up scofflaws. Take this case, where the gent was busted for a very, very minor offense, and then it kept getting worse. As reported by The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter:

Police arrested an upstate man in Brooklyn Heights on drugs and weapons charges after transit officers stopped the alleged crook for hopping a turnstile on Thursday, according to a report.

A turnstile! That’s $2.75, or $3.00 at the most!

Officers arrested the 32-year-old Schenectady man for drug possession and unlawful possession of a firearm after they discovered several bags of crack-cocaine and marijuana along with a loaded six-shooter in his backpack, a report said.

The officers stopped man after they say he jumped a turnstile at the High Street station shortly before 8:30 pm.

As the cops searched him they found several small bags of crack-cocaine and marijuana in his front pocket, and a search of his backpack turned up a Smith and Wesson .38-caliber revolver loaded with six rounds, according to a report. A second search at the 84th Precinct station house turned up a larger bag of crack in his pants, police said.

He had just about everything on him but a fare card. Here’s the source.

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3d illustration: Equipment protection. Concept Cameras

Everyone knows that, with each passing day, more surveillance cameras go up pretty much all over the place. One would think police officers are well aware of this since they often use surveillance footage in their investigations. One would appear to be wrong, at least as far as this officer goes. As reported by abc7.com:

It was an NYPD raid to crack down on the illegal selling of untaxed cigarettes, but the manager of a Brooklyn deli says the day after police raided his store, he discovered that he had been robbed.

Now, he’s accusing one of the detectives, and he has surveillance video as proof.

The plainclothes detectives entered the Bedford-Stuyvesant deli last Friday night and immediately arrested two workers for selling loose cigarettes. The store’s elaborate 12-camera security system captured every second of the police raid.

One day later, deli manager Ali Abdullah noticed nearly $3,000 in store rent money missing from a box he kept hidden under the counter.

“I was thinking it was robbery, because I never seen the video,” he said.

He thought maybe one of his workers stole the cash, so he looked at the surveillance video and was stunned when he saw detectives had found the box during the raid. He says the video clearly shows one of the detectives grabbing the stack of money, hiding behind the counter door and out of view of his supervisor, before putting what appears to be the money in his coat pocket.

“When I come and look at my security system, I see this officer took the money and put it in his own pocket,” he said. “It’s crazy.”

The NYPD Internal Affairs viewed the surveillance video after WABC-TV, our sister station in New York, started asking questions. An NYPD spokesman now says one detective has been suspended pending the outcome of a joint investigation between Internal Affairs and the District Attorney’s Office. The supervising sergeant during the raid has also been placed on modified duty.

You didn’t see any of the 12 cameras? Here’s the source.

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jail cell bars prison

Yes, this young lady is charged with a felony over $3. As reported by northcountrynow.com (Potsdam, NY):

A Massena teen is facing a felony after allegedly breaking into her employer’s office and stealing $3 in quarters.

Krystal L. Arquette, 17, of 30 George St. is charged with third-degree burglary.

Court documents state that she used a spatula to jimmy the lock and break into the office at Alex’s Ice, 30 George St. on March 30.

Her employer, Ted Krywanczyk, who is also Massena’s fire chief, told police that he watched Arquette commit the alleged offense on security camera.

Arquette was arraigned in Massena Village Court and released under supervision of the St. Lawrence County Probation Department, pending a future appearance.

A spatula, and $3! Click here for the source.

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gun

Seriously, it’s a dispute over one spot in a line, and you’re going to brandish a gun? You’re a cop! As reported at fusion.net:

A 911 recording has captured a Tennessee sergeant losing it over a RedBox movie rental.

In the call, obtained by the Knoxville News Sentinel, Sgt. Paul Story, an off-duty Knox County Sheriff’s Office employee, can be heard yelling and threatening a man, Timothy Nelson, after Nelson claimed the sergeant was cutting him in line. According to the KCSO’s own report, the newspaper said, Story was brandishing his gun during the heated exchange.

“You’re a bitch. You threatened me in front of my son,” Story is heard saying. He requested an on-duty officer come to the RedBox, and then called 911 on Nelson, creating the audio that we hear.

“I ain’t done nothing to you. … Are you going to arrest me over a Redbox rental?” Nelson asked.

“Yeah, you did, shit,” Story yelled. “Now that you find out I’m a police officer, you want to back up.”

“Why are you doing this?” asked Nelson.

“Because you’re a bitch,” Story said. “You think you’re somebody. You’re not… Just shut the hell up. I’m done talking to you. I want someone else to come out here and talk to your dumb ass. I’m going to put you in jail is what I’m going to do.”

“For what?” Nelson asked.

Story responded: “For assault, dumb ass. I worked all damn night. So what? You should have got out and stood in line like me. You should’ve waited in line.”

Nelson threatened to file a $25,000 lawsuit concerning the incident, but the department agreed to pay a settlement of $2,500. Story was never officially investigated for the incident, since an official complaint was never submitted. No disciplinary action has been taken.

Yikes. You’ll find the source here.

(Legal Juice is brought to you by Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia personal injury attorney Legal Juice!)

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law books lawyer treatise legal research

Law school is really expensive, and it takes three years. So how can you avoid it, and still be a lawyer? Well, just say you are a lawyer. That’s what this woman did, apparently quite well, as reported by newser.com:

A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade and made partner at her small firm before her fraud was discovered, according to charges announced yesterday. Kimberly Kitchen was charged Thursday with forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. State prosecutors contend Kitchen fooled BMZ Law by forging a law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school, and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The firm is based in Huntingdon, about 110 miles east of Pittsburgh. Kitchen, of nearby James Creek, handled estate planning for more than 30 clients “despite never having attended law school,” the attorney general’s office says.

She even served as president of her county bar, says her lawyer, who adds that “she’s an incredibly competent person, and she worked very diligently and was devoted to the people she served. There are things about the charges we don’t agree with.” But the Huntington County Bar Association’s current president called the charges insufficient given “the level of betrayal” over 10 years. Local lawyers were the first to raise questions about Kitchen’s credentials; in December, when the Huntingdon Daily News first reported on the case, the firm vowed to review her work. Kitchen, 45, was previously employed at Juniata College, where she worked in fundraising but “started holding herself out to be a lawyer,” says a senior deputy attorney. She’s married to a state conservation ranger and is no longer working, her lawyer says.

Shazam! Looks like those 30+ clients will be getting some free estate planning – from an actual lawyer. Here’s the source. 

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choose choice money

In sports, that’s something you hear over and over. If it works, keep doing it until the other team stops you. Then adjust your game plan accordingly. Alas, sports is not like life in many regards, including this one. Just ask this gent, who was awfully fond of a particular convenience store. As reported by NJ Advance Media for nj.com:

As one officer pinned him against a fence and more officers arrived, a man suspected of robbing the same convenience store three times this week admitted defeat.

“OK, you got me,” he said, according to police reports.

Hoboken police arrested 40-year-old Michael Olivier on Thursday, after he robbed Prime Convenience Store on Newark Street for the third time, according to police reports. Olivier allegedly stole cash, cigarettes and employees’ cell phones during the robberies, and threatened cashiers with a box cutter.

But third time didn’t prove to be the charm for Olivier. He didn’t wear a mask and didn’t realize that a second employee was working when he held up another at the front of the store, according to police reports.

At first he posed as a customer, then threatened the employees, according to police reports.

“I’m going to need your money right now! You’ve seen my face, I’m going to kill you,” he allegedly said to the cashier, just after 3 a.m.

The cashier handed over the cash in the register, his cellphone and Newport cigarettes. Meanwhile, another employee in the back of the store called police, according to police reports.

Before leaving Olivier allegedly said, “If you tell the police, I’m going to (expletive) kill you.”

Police were able to form a description of Olivier, based on the store’s surveillance video. Lt. Danilo Cabrera caught up with Olivier near 16th Street and Jersey Avenue in Jersey City, just a few blocks away from the store. Olivier tried to run away, but Cabrera held him against a fence to control him as backup arrived, according to police reports.

Three times in a week? It’s a store, not an ATM! Kind of makes you wonder what this guy was doing for money before he chose this career path. You’ll find the source here.

(Legal Juice is brought to you by … The Juice! – A personal injury attorney handling car accident cases (among many other types of accident cases) in Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia.)