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There’s no shortage of laws out there that need updating. This Mississippi law, which not only outlaws polygamy, but outlaws even teaching about it, is ripe for tweaking.

SEC. 97-29-43. Polygamy; teaching of.

If any person shall teach another the doctrines, principles, or tenets, or any of them, of polygamy; or shall endeavor so to do; or shall induce or persuade another by words or acts, or otherwise, to embrace or adopt polygamy, or to emigrate to any other state, territory, district, or country for the purpose of embracing, adopting, or practicing polygamy, or shall endeavor so to do, he shall, on conviction, be fined not less than twenty-five dollars nor more than five hundred dollars, or be imprisoned in the county jail not less than one month nor more than six months, or both.

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Shoot, $140,000 per year in Detroit will go a long way. You would think someone with a job like that – which also includes 9 weeks off! – would take it seriously. In this case, it appears that you would be wrong. As reported by myfoxdetroit.com:

Detroit district court judges have it pretty good. They work seven hours a day and get an hour for lunch… So why does 36th District Court Judge Cylenthia Miller need to show up late so often or not show up at all?

That there’s a serious accusation. Can you back it up? Well …

It’s 11:00 a.m. A video shows people have jammed the courtroom, but the judge isn’t there, and the lawyers are still getting $300 an hour. This wasn’t just a one off. We got a hold of the judge’s attendance record. She’s a truant. If this were high school, she’d never graduate.

Maybe she’s just going through a rough patch?

In 2009 she missed an extra 53 days or nearly three months of work.

In 2010 she missed an extra month and a half. It’s the same with 2011 and 2012.

Okay, maybe not. But back to the present:

So we put the peep on the judge over the last few weeks. On February 8, a Friday, she called in sick saying she injured herself when her sister’s dog pulled her in a ditch. On February 1[1], the following Monday, we couldn’t find her. The next day she didn’t show grieving over a loved one.

Yikes!

When the judge did show up, she was always late, took long lunches or left early. Pretty serious stuff for a judge who handles everything from murder to misdemeanors.

She showed up and hour and a half late on Wednesday. On Thursday, she showed up two hours late. After a rigorous hour and fifteen minutes on the bench, she cut out for lunch. A long lunch. A two hour and 15 minute lunch.

It was no better the next day, Friday, February 15. She was nearly two hours late again, and she left at 2:30 in the afternoon. Where could she be going? The law library? The prosecutor’s office? Nope. She went shopping at Kroger in Grosse Pointe…

She was late again on Monday morning. We [the news crew] couldn’t take it anymore.

“Court’s been in session for an hour and a half and you’re still [outside],” I said to her. “Been coming every day for three weeks, you’ve never been on time.”

She said nothing.

Shocker. Time to go up the chain.

“It’s embarrassing to us as a court, and it’s embarrassing to me as the court’s chief judge that I’m having this discussion with you,” said Judge Kenneth King. “I’m telling you that this matter will be dealt with.”

And?

Judge Miller met with the chief judge on Monday. She promised to “do better in the future”.

“Better”? The Juice is guessing the folks at WJBK will be monitoring the situation. Here’s the source.

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Please, if you are prone to being grossed out, stop here. Remember, The Juice warned you. So, it started with what appeared to be a routine suspected DUI. Then it got weird, and gross. As reported by The Durango Herald (Colorado):

According to an arrest affidavit, the events began at 11:59 p.m. Feb. 11 when a Durango Police Department officer observed a vehicle turn right onto 32nd Street from Main Avenue without using a turn signal.

The officer, Chad Langley, pulled Kausalik [a 31-year veteran of the U.S. Postal Service who has been in Durango since 1982] over …

While speaking to Kausalik, the officer detected alcohol on his breath, according to the affidavit. Kausalik said he had not been drinking.

Kausalik performed voluntary roadside maneuvers, but not to Langley’s satisfaction, the affidavit says.

A preliminary breath test indicated he had a blood-alcohol level of 0.142, almost three times the 0.05 legal driving limit in Colorado.

Fairly routine stop thus far. Man appears to be drunk, smells of alcohol, denies drinking, fails field sobriety test, fails initial BAC test.

Langley arrested Kausalik and took him to the Durango police station … for a formal breath test.

Please, not the formal breath test…

At the station, Kausalik asked to use the restroom. Officer Langley twice found Kausalik asleep in the restroom.

He told Kausalik he could not stay in the restroom all night to avoid the breath test, and he needed to either take the test or choose a refusal.

Actually, there is another option, which could be considered a refusal of sorts …

Kausalik eventually left the bathroom looking at the floor, walking toward the officer.

Langley asked Kausalik what was in his mouth, and he continued to walk toward the officer, head down and expressionless.

When Kausalik was about 4 feet from the officer, Kausalik looked up, opened his mouth and took a deep breath.

“As I observed what he had in his mouth, I took a step back and began turning my head as he violently spit the contents of his mouth toward my face,” officer Langley wrote in the affidavit. “I felt the matter [FECES!!!!!] strike the left side of my face and head.” Kausalik also had feces on his hands, the affidavit says.

If you’re not completely grossed out, check your pulse. You can read the full story, and see the mug shot here.

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Fancy having a “go” at the “Good To Go”? Maybe that’s how these folks ended up carnally knowing each other for over an hour outside of the “Good To Go” convenience store in Florida. As reported by WZVN-HD:

According to a sheriff’s report, deputies responded to the Good To Go Store at 16871 San Carlos Boulevard in Fort Myers in reference to an indecent exposure call.

As the deputies arrived, they spotted a naked Pomfret and half-naked Prothero having sex in plain view underneath a tree near the store, according to the report.

When a deputy walked over and told them to stop and get dressed, neither listened, the deputy said.

Sorry deputy. The Juice believes they actually did listen to you … and just chose to ignore you since they were kinda busy.

Once the deputy announced she was with the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, both reportedly stopped and put on their clothes.

And then?

George Pomfret, 49, and Brenda Prothero, 48, both of Fort Myers, were arrested [taken into custody] and charged with Indecent Exposure in Public.

Click here for the source, including photographs.

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shock%20electric%20zap%20electrical.gifYes, Christian Haughwout, a 14-year-old student at The Morgan School in Clinton, Connecticut, was suspended for 10 days for … bringing a camera to school that emits a mild shock! The official reason for the suspension?

“Possession of a dangerous instrument and causing a threat or danger to the physical well-being of himself or other people.”

Really? Yes, and on top of that, as reported by The Hartford Courant:

In juvenile court, the boy also faces charges of possession of a dangerous weapon on school grounds, attempted assault and breach of peace.

Suspended and busted! What to do. Christian’s parents challenged the suspension via a lawsuit in federal court. The case was settled, with the school letting Christian return, and his parents agreeing to drop the lawsuit.

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The gent says he just wanted to talk with the preacher. Well sir, it is alleged that a little more than that happened one day back in February 2012, as reported by knoxnews.com:

Andrew Byrd filed a lawsuit Feb. 15 in Sevier County against the Rev. Joel Arwood, his wife Theresa Arwood and deacon Charles Shields, all of Sevierville, as well as the Family Chapel Church of God and the Church of God International.

So what happened?

According to the lawsuit, Shields and the Arwoods asked Byrd on Feb. 21, 2012, to attend a meeting at Family Chapel Church of God, 1038 Charlotte’s Court in Pigeon Forge. During the meeting, Theresa Arwood said Byrd had a “demon or spirit that needed to be cast out,” according to the lawsuit.

“Thereafter, Joel Arwood and Charles Shields physically assaulted (Byrd) , while being encouraged by the shouts of Theresa Arwood,” Byrd states in the lawsuit.

According to a Sevier County Sheriff’s Office report, Byrd suffered a broken tooth, bruising and lacerations to the face, and pain and lasting injury to his back and leg.

Yikes.

Byrd alleges the pastor later bragged to the congregation that he had “punched the devil and knocked the devil’s tooth out.”

Byrd alleges in the lawsuit that Joel Arwood then “published” allegations accusing Byrd of murdering three people in Sevier County, including a 16-year-old girl, and having a contract to kill two more people, knowing that the statements were false.

Should be one helluva trial. Here’s the source.

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In probably every household, there is disagreement regarding the desirable thermostat temperature. In almost every household, a compromise is reached. In this household, not so much. These sisters, who share a home, got into it over one degree. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

Ilona Sales and Wanda Lupina both say they ended up bruised in the tussle sparked when Sales turned the heat up to 68 degrees.

Lupina turned the heat down one degree, to 67, and that’s when the trouble started …

Lupina, claims Sales then punched her, pulled her hair and knocked her to the ground. Sales has been charged with misdemeanor battery and a court date was set for Monday afternoon in Joliet.

Hmm. Do you think Sales would agree with that version? Nope.

Sales alleges that Lupina started the fight and left her with bruised arms.

And if you think these ladies might have a hard time living together after this, you’re right.

It apparently was the last straw. Now Sales wants to move out and has filed a civil lawsuit over their home.

Sales moved in with Lupina a couple of years ago and helped pay off Lupina’s mortgage after selling her Arizona home. The idea was that they’d both save expenses by living together.

Sales wants to get her name off the house title, and has asked a judge to order Lupina to return her money, which could force Lupina to buy out Sales or sell the home, Haney said.

Yikes.

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You probably know that, in many jurisdictions, crimes committed against the elderly are treated more seriously, and thus punished more severely. So, what happens when an elderly person commits the crime? Leniency? As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer:

A 70-year-old Hinckley Township man is accused of robbing the Huntington Bank on Center Road. Hugh Crouch is charged with aggravated robbery.

Yikes!

Brunswick police were called at 1:13 p.m. Tuesday to the bank at 3630 Center Road. Officers encountered the suspect leaving in a 2009 Chevrolet Silverado and tried to pull it over.

The driver kept going. Brunswick officers were joined by Medina and Medina Township officers, Medina County deputies and state troopers. The chase ended on East Smith Road in Medina, where Crouch was arrested after the Silverado struck a Brunswick police car.

“Now officer, do I look like a bank robber?” Perhaps not, but …

Additional charges are being considered.

Here’s the Plain Dealer article.

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You’ve probably heard someone say that TV is like a drug. Well, this story certainly bolsters that notion. Per the Northwest Florida Daily News:

Natasha Lynn Head, a 34-year-old Fort Walton Beach woman, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after she picked up a knife and told the victim he was going to leave “in a body bag,” according to her Fort Walton Beach Police Department arrest report.

Yes, the fight started over a remote control!

She and the victim had been arguing over the television remote control, which he hid from her so she could not watch television in the bedroom, according to the report.

The victim said Head charged at him with the knife, which caused him to hide in the bathroom and call 911, the report said.

Her defense?

Head told police she never intended to harm the victim and only got the knife so she could break into the bathroom and get the remote.

What? Like you’ve never used a knife to open a door? Here’s the source, mug shot and all.

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On Valentine’s Day, this is how you treat your fiancee? The Juice hopes they did not put any wedding-related deposits down. From The Union Leader:

Gary Cormier, 41, of 515 Hall St., is accused of first threatening his fiancee on Valentine’s Day and, after being released on bail, stalking her.

Yikes.

Cormier is accused of jumping out in front of the woman’s vehicle on Hall Street and pounding on the hood and when she put the vehicle in reverse, opening the door and trying to pull her out, scaring her.

After his release on bail, he is accused of returning to the Hall Street address. Police prosecutors then filed a motion to revoke Cormier’s bail on the first charge. “Because I went home,” Cormier said.

Cormier will be held without bail until a hearing Tuesday in Circuit Court, Manchester District Division.

To Mr. Cormier’s credit …

At his arraignment Friday in Circuit Court, Cormier said: “I’d like to pleady guilty and get it over with.” Told each charge carries a sentence of up to one year, Cormier said: “If I go to jail for a year, I go to jail.”

To the judge’s credit …

The judge refused to accept a guilty plea, telling Cormier he needs to talk to a lawyer. Cormier agreed and trial was set for March 21.

You’ll find the source here.

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