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Of course the robber didn’t say it was a garden hose nozzle he was sticking in the manager’s back, but it was. As reported by WZVN (Florida):

Akeem Rendell Arnold, 23, of Naples, allegedly tried to steal over $14,000 shortly before [the CVS closed], according to a police report.

Police say Arnold wearing a mask and dressed in black approached the store manager, who is his brother, while he was outside taking the trash out.

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The Juice does not have to read this book in order to speculate that it may be the worst book ever written. He thinks that you will agree. As reported by kxnews.com (Bismarck, North Dakota):

A Mandan High School Social Studies teacher is behind bars after writing a sexually explicit book about two of his students.

So, so creepy and frightening.

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sleeping sleep man

Yes, early one morning, a drunk driver picked the police academy driveway as a good place to sleep it off.  He didn’t even make it until the facility opened. As reported at highlinetimes.com (Burien, Washington):

According to the Burien Police Department, a drunk driver decided to pull over for some sleep in the driveway of the Criminal Justice Training Center in the early morning hours of May 18. The Washington State Criminal Justice Training Center, often referred to simply as the “police academy” is located in the southeast corner of Burien at the intersection of 1st Avenue S. and S.W. 192nd Street. The facility is used to train law enforcement students and police from across Washington and is the location for the primary training is done for both the Burien Police Department and the King County Sheriff’s Department. Police reported that concerned citizens reported the driver of the vehicle after noticing that the man was unconscious with his truck blocking the entrance to the academy. Police arrived to find the driver heavily intoxicated. When officers ran the man’s information, they found that he was wanted for a felony warrant from previous drug charges.

Hopefully this gent gets some help, and doesn’t drive again until he’s gotten his act together.

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driving road
How about this explanation given by a man arrested for exposing himself while driving? As reported by The Kitsap Sun (Washington):

A 24-year-old Bremerton man arrested Wednesday for indecent exposure told a State Patrol trooper he was driving his car while not wearing pants because he recently received a body wax.

The “Manzilian,” or Brazilian for men, resulted in his jeans irritating his skin, he told the trooper, so he had been driving in his underwear.

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There comes a time in every thief’s life … Okay, so a lot of thieves won’t just come clean. But seriously dude – cut a deal. Next time you’ll turn the iPad off, or at least its location services. As reported by The Canberra Times (Australia):

A court has been asked to decide whether a man trying to find his allegedly stolen iPad was acting unlawfully when he tracked it down to a north Canberra townhouse using Apple’s anti-theft app and a GPS.

Police, acting on the man’s information, allegedly discovered the iPad and a cache of stolen items at the Forde house where 49-year-old Alden Harder lived.

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parking garage lot
Maybe you’ve left your car in a lot overnight, figuring you would just eat the charge and move on. You won’t believe how long this woman left her car in a parking lot. As reported by local.de:

A woman who left her car in a parking lot for nine years escaped with a fine of €7,000 (about $9,000 US), instead of the nearly €70,000 (about $90,000 US) she would owe if she had been charged the standard €20 ($26 US) per day, it was reported this week.

Nine years? Two questions: Why? and Why? As to the second question:

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steam whistle
Please keep in mind that this is the same town, Kure Beach, North Carolina, that outlawed thong bathing suits. Anyway, way back when (way pre-thong), folks must have been going crazy with their steam whistles.  Why would the Juice hazard this guess? This is from the Kure Beach nuisance laws:

Sec. 11-31. Certain noises prohibited.

(a) The creation and continuation of any loud, disturbing and unnecessary noises in the town is hereby prohibited…

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Subway Station in Munich
Was this gent sleeping or passed out? You make the call. As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter for the 88th Precinct (Fort Greene–Clinton Hill):

The 46-year-old said he boarded the Brooklyn-bound train at Grand Central Station at 5 am. He told cops he was intoxicated and fell asleep shortly after boarding, and when he woke up the train had reached the end of the line at New Lots Avenue and turned around, according to a police report.

As he exited the train at Nevins Street, he discovered that his rear pocket had been cut and his wallet removed, the report says. The guy was out $350 cash, plus debit and credit cards, he said.

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If you were to consider various means of escaping the country, there’s no way you would even include a kayak on your list. Well, it worked for this gent. As reported by The Hunterdon County [New Jersey] Democrat:

Steven Pieczynski, 38, who also once lived in Lambertville, was convicted by a jury in a trial conducted by Superior Court Judge Stephen B. Rubin in March. Assistant Prosecutor Anthony Anastasio presented the case.

But he wasn’t jailed pending sentencing. And there was a kayak, and …

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Nothing will resolve the disagreement between those who believe concealed carry laws are a good thing, and those who think they are idiotic. Though we can’t know with certainty, Mr. Randall White is probably in the latter group. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

Police said the incident unfolded about 4 p.m. inside the Little Caesars, 3463 Fourth St. N, after Randall White, 49, got mad about his service.

White said he got mad because his thin-crust vegetable pie was taking longer than the 10 minutes he was promised. “Twenty minutes later, I’m like, ‘Where’s my pizza?’ ” White said.