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Can you really steal someone’s driveway? Yup, one paver at a time, as reported by Ocala.com.

The victim told Deputy Michelle Wright that she left her home in the 4500 block of Northwest 120th Street around 7:30 a.m. When she arrived home at 6 p.m. and drove onto the driveway, she felt a large “bump.”

Uh oh.

She said she got out of her vehicle and noticed that the concrete pavers used to make the driveway were missing.

They stole my driveway! In broad daylight! Surely someone saw this?

A witness told the deputy about seeing two men digging up the pavers, but said the activity didn’t seem suspicious because the victim had workers constructing a barn on the property.

Fair enough.

The men are described as a tall, heavyset black male in his 30s and a white male of small build who stood roughly 5-feet 3-inches tall. They were driving an older model black pickup hauling a flat-bed utility trailer.

And it’s probably parked on a sweet driveway, newly constructed with concrete pavers … Here’s the source.

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Nobody has to go to the bathroom this badly. To what length did this man go to try to get his wife to leave the bathroom? You won’t believe this one. Per The Northwest Florida Daily News.

According to the Fort Walton Beach arrest report, the couple was arguing inside of the bathroom of their residence on Windsor Lane on Dec. 8 when the husband [age 38] asked the woman to leave the room so he could urinate. He threatened to urinate on his wife if she did not leave.

Yeah, like you would ever …

She refused and the husband turned toward the wife and urinated on her, according to the report.

Ewwwwww. Yes, that’s why this is posted in The Juice’s “Gross” category.

The wife shoved the husband and told him to stop several times then began to hit the man on the shoulder causing him to stop.

Please, tell me this is a crime.

The man was charged with a misdemeanor domestic violence battery and his court date is Dec. 26.

Yes! Think he’ll agree to a plea, or choose to appear in court? Here’s the source.

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How bad was this gent’s weekend? Let’s just say that, for a man whose last name is “Irish”, there was nothing lucky about it. As reported by The Union Leader:

Police were called to the Mall at Rockingham Park Friday at 8:19 p.m. in response to complaints that a man – later identified as Sean Irish [age 35] – appeared disoriented as he walked around the parking lot looking into parked cars. Officers spoke with Irish, then called Salem Fire & Rescue to have him checked out due to his condition, police said. Irish had prescription drugs on him and police believe he may have taken up to 80 pills in a short period of time, according to deputy police chief Shawn Patten.

80 pills? Must have taken a while to come down from that.

After the brief exam, Irish was told he was under arrest. He allegedly struggled with officers as he was being taken into custody. He was eventually released on $1,000 bail …

Up to 80 pills, and he was released? Maybe he wasn’t in such bad shape because …

On Saturday, police were called to LaQuinta Hotel for a report of a man refusing to pay or leave the premises. Responding officers found Irish at the scene and took him into custody. Irish allegedly had a small amount of marijuana on him. He was charged with two counts of possession of a controlled drug, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and criminal trespass. Irish was released again following his arrest.

That is officially a very bad weekend. Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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Not sure how The Juice missed this one. In this case, the old saw is true – that a picture is worth a thousand words. (Click on the link below.) As reported by Reuters:

Four men stand tied up in front of one of the two donkeys which residents had accused them of stealing, at a kiosk in the town of Otumba, in the state of Mexico November 25, 2012. The local community had tied up and beat up the four men for the theft before handing them over to police officers after an eight-hour long negotiation, local media reported.

Shazam! Beat them up, and then held them hostage! And then turned them over to the police. You can see the picture here.

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Every year, somebody (okay, Fox News) finds a few instances of folks either following the Constitution (this often involves taxpayer-funded Christmas displays), or some entity trying to be sensitive to all religions (and maybe atheists too?), and blasts them relentlessly. Well, that’s a bunch of hogwash. But this? No, The Juice, as a lover of all Christmas lights (even those cheesy pre-wired animals – yes, the moving ones too) cannot abide by this truly outrageous conduct. As reported by The Beacon-News (Aurora, Illinois):

A 68-year-old man who lives near Yorkville told police that his exterior Christmas lights were cut between 9 p.m. Thursday and 12:05 a.m. Friday, the Kendall County sheriff’s office said. The victim said it is the third time in a week the lights have been cut at his home in the 0-99 block of Timberview Lane, police said. Police had no suspects.

They cut his lights 3 times! The Juice implores all residents of Timberview Lane, in all blocks, not just the 0-99 block, to be on the lookout for this scofflaw! Do it for the kids!

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The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a constitutional scholar. Still, this Alabama law just doesn’t pass the smell test. Judge for yourself.

Section 13A-14-4 – Fraudulently pretending to be clergyman.

Whoever, being in a public place, fraudulently pretends by garb or outward array to be a minister of any religion, or nun, priest, rabbi or other member of the clergy, is guilty of a misdemeanor and, upon conviction, shall be punished by a fine not exceeding $500.00 or confinement in the county jail for not more than one year, or by both such fine and imprisonment.

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Let’s just say that Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell did not get off to a very good start, unless, that is, you think it’s just fine to discriminate against homosexuals. As reported by talkingpointsmemo.com:

McDonnell (R) on Feb. 5 signed an executive order that prohibits discrimination “on the basis of race, sex, color, national origin, religion, age, political affiliation, or against otherwise qualified persons with disabilities,” as well as veterans.

So what’s the change?

[The executive order] rescinds the order that Gov. Tim Kaine signed Jan. 14, 2006 as one of his first actions. After promising a “fair and inclusive” administration in his inaugural address, Kaine (D) added veterans to the non-discrimination policy – and sexual orientation.

Here’s the source.

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Hardcore fans of the New York Giants were not feeling good after their team lost to the Redskins on Monday. Hopefully, though, only one took it this hard. As reported by The Star-Banner (Ocala, Florida):

Authorities say a Silver Springs Shores man upset that the Redskins had beaten the Giants fired multiple shots at sheriff’s deputies who came to his home early Tuesday after his wife called 911 to report domestic violence.

Holy shiznit!

After evacuations and an hours-long standoff, Richard Braccia, 50, surrendered and was charged with three counts of attempted homicide on a law enforcement officer and one count each of tampering with evidence and domestic battery, according to the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.

Yikes! You can read more (a lot) and see a photo of Mr. Braccia here.

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Hey, younger drivers are going to make mistakes, especially after they’ve had something to drink. Here’s the latest installment of “Yikes” as reported by The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario):

A Burlington teen faces careless driving charges after crashing into a home. Halton police say ‘miraculously’ no one was injured when the 19-year-old left the roadway at 10 p.m. Wednesday night.

You’ve got to see the pictures. (Click here.)

The novice driver in a Ford Taurus and a male passenger left the west side of the roadway before crossing the front lawns of two homes. The car struck the front of a house with such impact police say the vehicle’s entire front end was lodged inside.

Think the homeowner was pissed?

“I ran right to the guy (driver) and started yelling at him,” homeowner Kathy Thring told the Burlington Post. “He kept telling me he was sorry. I told him he could have hurt someone.” Thring, her husband Darrin, and two daughters, Taylor, 13, and Sutherlin, 10, were home at the time.

The car remained in the house Thursday morning. Police say main support systems of the home looked to be significantly compromised.

The charges?

Mitchell Bolduc, 19 is charged with careless driving and having a blood alcohol concentration above zero. The accused is a novice driver which under the Highway Traffic Act of Ontario, restricts drivers from having any alcohol at all.

Here’s the source.

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It’s really not that hard to teach someone how to drive. Of course, there is the requirement that you, the teacher, be legally permitted to drive! As reported by timesonline.com (Beaver, PA):

Monaca police said [Bobbie Jo] Gacesa [age 36] was teaching a girl, whose age and identity were not released, how to drive in Gacesa’s minivan on Oct. 26, and as the girl approached Building 2 at Spring Run Apartments, her foot slipped off the brake and onto the gas pedal. The van jumped the curb and struck the building.

Police said the van damaged a metal railing, bent the door jamb at Apartment 207 and broke the building away from the foundation. No injuries were reported.