Articles Posted in Get A Life

Squeezed on:

By

Bird%20feeders%20birdfeeders.jpg
To be fair to Cuyahoga Falls City Councilman Jerry James, perhaps this is not his signature legislative initiative. Maybe he’ll tackle the saggy pants problem next. But about the proposed ordinance that will no doubt vault Cuyahoga Falls City to the top of the “best places to live” list, as reported by AkronNewsNow.com:

Cuyahoga Falls City Council will see legislation introduced tonight to control those bird feeders in back yards across the city.

Councilman Jerry James tells AkronNewsNow.com “There’s a lot of seed that comes out on to the bird feeders, and they spill on to the ground, and the seeds that aren’t eaten by the birds decay and then some birds will come and get them, and then they end up getting sick and dying.”

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

streaker%20streaking%20streak%20naked%20runner%20nude.jpg

You hear “police chase,” you think of police cars chasing a car, usually a drunk driver. Not this time. Sure, the police were in cars, but not the “perp.” He was on foot, and naked! And the cops bothered to chase him way too long, as reported by wpxi.com:

Police in Beaver County said a naked man led them on a three-mile foot chase through several communities.

Three miles!

Investigators said the man was first spotted near a busy intersection with a lot of traffic on April 20.

A groundskeeper for a nearby cemetery said he was shocked when he saw the man without any clothes on roaming the streets.

“We were working and I saw out of the corner of my eye this flash go by. I looked and I saw his naked butt go by. I didn’t need to see anymore,” said Mike Zorich.

Zorich said the man ran past him and kept running through Beaver Falls Cemetery. “He went by in a flash and that was the end of it,” Zorich said.

Well, maybe that should have been the end of it. But no way was this naked guy going to getting away with it?!

Police estimate he made it through three townships and ran about three miles completely nude through several wooded areas before they were able to catch up with him.

Investigators said they eventually were able to catch him while he was wading through a creek. Police said they have no idea why he was in the water.

The charges?

Carlos Noel Pena, 24, was charged with open lewdness.

Really? Open lewdness? Truly an excellent use of police resources. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

pick%20up%20line%20lines%20pick-up.jpg

Men are always trying to think of good ways to meet women. This guy clearly should have continued thinking. Unfortunately, he stopped when he got to the scenario with the monkey … As reported by The Arab Times:

Police [in Kuwait City] have arrested an unidentified youth for disturbing female visitors at a fast food restaurant. It has been reported the youth was deliberately blocking the way of female motorists, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. 
According to security sources the youth was carrying a monkey and he had placed his telephone number on the glass of his car. 
Police have reportedly impounded the man’s car.

Squeezed on:

By

raging%20bitch%20beer%20pale%20ale%20flying%20dog%20brewery%20belgian%20belgian-style%20india.jpg

What’s in a name? Plenty, if you’re talking about beer names and the Michigan Liquor Control Commission. You’re in trouble when the standard you’re using, as here, is whether the product is “deemed … to be detrimental to the health, safety or welfare of the general public.” A little vague, perhaps?

As reported by www.mlive.com:

Flying Dog Brewery is suing the state Liquor Control Commission, alleging the agency is censoring its free speech by rejecting labels for the bottler’s “Raging Bitch” 20th Anniversary India Pale Ale.

So Michigan has a problem with “Raging Bitch” beer. What Flying Dog beers has it okayed, you might be wondering?

[Flying Dog] markets approved labels, including “Doggie Style” Classic Pale Ale [and] “In Heat Wheat” Hefeweizen Ale … at many chain and specialty stores in West Michigan.

And don’t forget about this one …

… the state has allowed sales of alcoholic beverages with a vulgar term on the label. Among those are a Grand Rapids brew “Dirty Bastard,” crafted by Founders.

If you’re wondering why “Doggie Style,” “In Heat Wheat,” and “Dirty Bastard” are okay but “Raging Bitch” isn’t, The Juice also wonders. To read a lot more, including Flying Dog’s connection to Hunter S. Thompson, click here.

Squeezed on:

By

graffiti.jpg
Without Johnny Law, there would be chaos, right? In this situation, Johnny Law needs to step off. In the Australian city of Whitehorse, little children drawing with chalk in front of a cafe have been deemed to be … taggers! As reported by The Whitehorse Leader:

Children drawing with chalk on a Nunawading footpath have been labeled graffiti artists.

THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

mccurry%20sign%201.jpg

Even though McDonald’s has sold over 100 billion burgers (can you feel your arteries clogging?), a restaurant named “McCurry” (Malaysian Chicken Curry) would not be intimidated. As reported by the BBC News:

The American fast-food giant McDonald’s has lost an eight-year legal battle to prevent a Malaysian restaurant calling itself McCurry.

Talk about David vs. Goliath.

McCurry opened for business in Kuala Lumpur in 1999, and serves Indian dishes, including fish head curry and breads including tandoori naan.

So it was McDonald’s (with over 30,000 “restaurants” worldwide, including 180 in Malaysia) against 1 McCurry. With the end of the litigation, McCurry looks to change that.

“We can now go ahead with whatever we plan to do such as opening new branches,” [McCurry owner P Suppiah] said.

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

dress%20code.jpg
There’s a dress code at the mall? At least at the Quaker Bridge Mall in Trenton, New Jersey there is. And in case you think the saggy pants looks is a male thing, think again. As reported by The Lawrenceville Patch:

Ashley L. Diggs, 24, of the 800 block of East State Street in Trenton, was charged with disorderly conduct after she allegedly refused to pull her pants up inside Quaker Bridge Mall, according to Edgar.

Diggs was reportedly walking around the mall, in the 3300 block of Brunswick Pike (Route 1), about 6 p.m. Saturday with her underwear visible, Edgar said. He said mall security officers approached Diggs, advised her of the mall’s dress code, and asked her to “pull her pants up.”

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

yell%20screaming%20yelling%20scream.jpg
All you regular readers know that The Juice is not a big fan of Big Brother. Like-minded Juicegoers probably won’t be too fond of this proposed ordinance now pending in Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina:

Sec. 14-15G. Yelling, shouting, etc.

It shall be unlawful for any person to yell, shout, hoot, whistle, or sing on the public streets, particularly between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. or at any time or place so as to annoy or disturb the quiet, comfort, or repose of persons in any office, or in any dwelling, or other type of residence, or of any persons in the vicinity.

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

busted.jpg

A frog? Forget about the mechanics of it (if you can). How can someone possibly derive sexual pleasure watching a woman and a frog? At least one gent did, as reported by The Sun:

Michael Hall, 46 — who is also a school governor and worked on a council panel to protect children — downloaded the disgusting images on to his laptop computer.

When police raided his home they found 230 photos and 150 videos showing women engaging in sex acts with horses, a donkey, dogs, a gerbil, a frog and a live snake.

Police acted on a tip-off after learning the magistrate, from Rotherham, South Yorks, had an account on a file-sharing website which was raising concerns.

Guess those animal fetishists aren’t the most loyal bunch. Maybe they coveted the same frog.

They found the filthy porn stash when they raided his home in Swinton, Rotherham, last September.

Hall admitted 21 specimen charges of possessing hard-core pornography when he appeared before Leeds magistrates.

Jail time? Nope.

He was sentenced to a three-year community order which requires him to spend 144 days completing a programme for sex offenders.

Can you imagine when, during group therapy, this dude has to stand up and say “I’m Michael, and I love frogs, gerbils, dogs, donkeys …” You can read more [a fair amount] here.