Articles Posted in Extra Pulp

Yeah, he was about six feet tall, white, a little heavy, with short blond hair and a big nose. He was wearing …  Now that’s the kind of description that could be helpful. But this?

Employees of Smith Oil on East Liverpool Road reported a tall, white, ugly man wearing a hoodie and plaid pajama pants driving a newer model Ford Focus drove off without paying for nearly $34 worth of gasoline.

Ugly? That’s it? Oh, and tall and white. Very helpful. Thanks so much. (As reported in the St. Clair Township Police Report (via The Review, East Liverpool, Ohio.)

Is it unreasonable to think that a thief would want to know what he is stealing? Not this guy. Apparently any old box will do. As reported by khou.com:

A Manvel homeowner’s security cameras helped lead police to the suspect accused of stealing a package from their front porch.

Manvel police arrested Matthew Holbert Friday and charged him with theft of property.

We searched the entire place, and he’s not here. Or … is he? Per the Northwest Florida Daily News:

Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies went to an apartment on Miracle Strip Parkway to arrest a man who had outstanding warrants. They unlocked the apartment using a key given to them by a resident and ordered the man to come out. He refused.

An initial search failed to reveal the man, so deputies searched again.

Over the years, we’ve all seen tons of different kinds of Christmas displays. But you probably haven’t see anything like this. As reported by wistv.com:

Residents in a Florida neighborhood are doing double takes when passing a rather bizarre holiday display.

The Palm Beach County homeowner made an image of reindeer made out of Christmas lights hanging upside down.

Back in the time before there were CDs and DVDs, there was videotape. There was also a sportscaster named Warner Wolf whose catch phrase was “Let’s go to the videotape.” Well, if they do that here, this gent’s chances aren’t looking too good. As reported by tcpalm.com:

A corrections deputy charged with misdemeanor battery on an Indian River County Jail inmate has been fired, but he’s seeking his job back, officials at the Sheriff’s Office said.

Mario Pratt was placed on administrative leave Nov. 21 when he was charged with pepper spraying an inmate without justification. After a review by the internal affairs department, the Sheriff’s Office fired Pratt on Dec. 11.

It seems that, oftentimes, a spouse who has been cheated on is angry at the other woman/man, and not the cheating spouse. What’s up with that? We may have stumbled on another such case, although the jilted spouse in this case may have let her husband have it too. As reported by khou.com:

One doctor is now facing criminal charges after police say she broke into the home of her romantic rival last weekend.

Uh-oh.

Yes, you can probably finish the thought. Don’t bring a small gun to a big gun fight. Here’s one of the things that can happen if you do, as reported in the police blotter at HighlineTimes.com (Burien, Washington):

Seattle Police Department and King County Sheriff’s office arrested three men believed to be behind several recent robberies in Seattle and King County. Two men attempted to rob a West Seattle convenience store at gunpoint before being scared off by the clerk’s “bigger” gun. Two men entered the store and pointed a gun at the clerk. The clerk drew his own gun and the men ran out of the store. They drove away in a white Ford Explorer with a rear bumper held together by duct tape. The next night the Sheriff’s office deputies were called to Military Road South in Tukwila after two men stole a woman’s purse and cellphone and drove away in a White Ford Explorer with duct tape holding the bumper. The deputies found the Explorer crashed in a nearby ditch and the two suspects near by and arrested them. After the detectives interviewed the men, a third man was also arrested and booked into the King County Jail for robbery.

Doh! Now who could have predicted these guys would (1) try again and (2) get caught?

What, you think just because it’s Niceville that they won’t call the cops? As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

Niceville Police officers were summoned to Tisa’s Lounge on John Sims Parkway, where an employee said he’d told a 25-year-old Ohio man to leave several times. The man refused and was still in the lounge when officers arrived.

They told him to leave but the man refused, saying “I wouldn’t have to leave in Ohio.” Officers pointed out Florida law differs from Ohio law, but he still refused to leave, saying, “I don’t believe you.”