Legal Juice

Who would think to look inside bologna for drugs? It's almost like you'd have to be tipped off ... As reported by www.wwwlp.com:

30-year-old Juan Rodriguez of Holyoke was arrested Thursday for allegedly trafficking a kilogram of cocaine worth $100,000.

According to the news release from Holyoke Police Postal Inspector Brian Dailey contacted Lt. David R. Pratt regarding a package addressed to Felix Huertas at 193 Essex Street.

Postal records reveal that similar packages were mailed from Puerto Rico to 193 Essex Street in the months of May and July in 2010.

A federal search warrant was obtained. Inspector Dailey delivered the parcel to 193 Essex Street where a female signed for the package [which contained the cocaine-stuffed bologna] with Rodriguez being present. Rodriguez took the package. Both of them entered the home.

They were immediately put under arrest. Bail for Rodriguez is set at $250,000.

Chief Anthony Scott told 22News Rodriguez is a career criminal [who] was convicted of assault and battery and threatening to murder in 2008.

Really? How is it he is out of jail 2 years later? Go figure. Here's the source, including a photo of the cocaine-stuffed bologna.

Perhaps the first rule of armed robbery is: Make sure the victim can't identify you. Check this out, as reported by www.wcti12.com:

Doris Edwards, 54, is charged with assault, armed robbery and kidnapping. She's in the Pitt County Jail under $500,000 bond. Last Tuesday, attorney William Wooten told police one of his clients had tied him up and robbed him. At first, police thought no money was taken from the victim, but it turns out the suspect stole a credit card.

She robbed her lawyer! In his office! Do you think this bodes well for her on the charge(s) the lawyer/victim was representing her for? Best of luck to her new lawyer.

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[Here's a classic bungled break-in attempt.]

You're trying to get out of a bad situation. You have at your disposal a knife and ... your [alleged] flesh-eating-bacteria-infected penis. Which do you deploy first? Not a tough call, right? Here's how it played out in a Seattle Radio Shack, as reported by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

According to police reports regarding the Jan. 16 incident, a clerk at the 3rd Avenue electronics store spotted Anthony Joseph Urga attempting to steal two iPod Nano players. When the clerk and another employee confronted Urga, the man returned the iPods but refused to open his backpack to see whether he was attempting to steal additional items.

Should of just done it ...

"Urga then proceeded to plead with (the clerk) to allow him to leave, because he was sick," a Seattle police detective said in a June 9 affidavit. "When (the clerk) said no, Urga dropped his pants exposing his penis and stated that he had a 'flesh eating bacteria' and that he would expose (the clerk)."

Really? Not the knife?

The detective said Urga then drew a knife from his belt but was tackled before he could unfold the blade.

Too late ...

Urga was arrested and taken to King County Jail, which declined to admit him due to an unspecified medical condition, the detective said. The 42-year-old Loyal Heights resident was then driven to Harborview Medical Center; the detective told the court. Urga then walked out of emergency room.

Just walks right out of the ER!

Charged with second-degree assault, Urga is not currently in custody, according to jail records. A $50,000 warrant for his arrest has been issued.

Here's the source.

It's just a fact that some folks will complain, whether they have good standing to do so or not. This dude is clearly one of those folks. As reported in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

A man who robbed a Wendy's at gunpoint Saturday night apparently was so upset with his haul that he twice called the restaurant to complain, Atlanta police said.

"Next time there better be more than $586," he said during one call. He made "a similar threat" in the second call, police said.

About 11:15 p.m., a man wearing a ski mask and holding a gun walked up to the drive-through window at the Wendy's at 1940 Piedmont Road, police said. He told an employee to put the cash drawer on the counter.

After grabbing the drawer and running away, the robber discarded the drawer in the bushes at the nearby InTown Suites. Police dusted the drawer for fingerprints. However, the robber was seen wearing yellow gloves at Wendy's.

Police also are checking to see if the robber shows up on hotel security cameras.

Dude would probably complain that the security camera makes him look fatter or older or shorter than he really is ...

It's fair to say that people generally know what's in their underwear, and where it came from, right? An Italian gentleman with a wad of a cash in his skivvies couldn't answer the "where it came from" part, putting him in the soup. As reported at www.couriermail.com.au:

British border control officials caught an Italian man trying to smuggle £10,000 ($17,330) out of Northern Ireland in his underwear. The man was stopped by border control officials on July 23 as he boarded a flight to Rome from Belfast International Airport.

The cash - consisted of British Pound Sterling and Euro notes - was discovered in the man's underwear, pockets and wallet.

The UK Border Agency said today the man was not able to provide a "reasonable explanation" for why he was carrying such a large amount of cash.

No explanation, no cash.

"The money was detained under the Proceeds of Crime Act and will only be returned if he can provide proof to a court that the money came from a legitimate source."

The man chose not to travel on the flight, the agency said.

Hmm. Perhaps he wouldn't be so welcomed without all that cashish. Here's the source.

The Juice's first reaction upon reading about this was OUCH! This was followed by OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH! That had to hurt - a lot. For a whole bunch of reasons, this dude has to be regretting the piercing. From a report in The Jersey Journal:

A Belmar man was arrested in Downtown Jersey City after allegedly masturbating in front of a sharp-eyed 76-year-old woman who helped identify the man by telling police she noticed his penis was pierced, officials said.

Lionel B. Froloff, 32, was arrested in Hamilton Park at 2:26 p.m. Monday and charged with lewdness and endangering the welfare of children in a nearby playground, reports said.

The woman, who was sitting with her sister, told police she saw Froloff looking at her with a strange expression on his face and then realized what he was doing, reports said.

Arriving officers noticed Froloff had a pierced tongue and when the cop asked if he had any other piercings, Froloff confirmed what his victim had spotted moments earlier, reports said.

The officers said Froloff became angry at police headquarters, used profanity, and insulted one female officer using a racial slur and a second female officer with a sexual suggestion, reports said.

Charming.

Finally, Froloff began complaining of pain in his pants and said the piercing might be infected, reports said. He was taken by ambulance to the Jersey City Medical Center for treatment, reports said.

What a way to cap off the day. Here's the source.

Ieshuh Griffin of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, surely must believe in the old adage that "there is no such thing as bad publicity." Otherwise, why would this candidate for the Wisconsin state assembly want to place the words "not the whiteman's bitch" next to her name on the ballot?

Snap! She may want to use those words (she can pick 5 words to go next to her name on the ballot), but will she be allowed to? Almost, but ... nope. As reported by www.CBS58.com:

After first saying she couldn't use the phrase on the grounds that it's obscene and derogatory, the state's Government Accountability Board voted 3-2 Wednesday to allow it. However, four votes were needed for the reversal, so as of now, Griffin will only have "independent" next to her name on the ballot.

Griffin denied a request from CBS 58's Eric Rucker to do an on-camera interview, but defended her slogan over the phone.

"Not, the whiteman's bitch and whiteman's bitch is in quotations," said Griffin. "It's not geared towards a person. The whiteman is a compound word put together. A bitch is a dog or a rollover. I'm making a statement that says, I'm not an average politician."

True. Here's the source, including a video.

Unless you're a troglodyte, you've heard this refrain, or something similar, many times over the years, and rightly so: "If you're too drunk to drive, take a taxi." So how could it be that an Australian guy did just that and still got arrested? Let's just say there are different ways to "take" a taxi ... Per The Cairns Post:

The 21-year-old man allegedly stole the taxi from Cooktown's central business district about 6pm on Friday.

Police allegedly found the driver, who was unlicensed, at home where he recorded a blood alcohol level of .209 per cent.

He was charged with unlicensed driving, unlawful use of a motor vehicle and drink-driving and will front Cooktown Magistrates' Court.

No worries. That's only 4 times the legal limit. Crikey.

You have to wonder WTF this Kansas woman was thinking, or drinking, or ... As reported by The Wichita Eagle:

Police said the woman reportedly pulled into the driveway of a house in the 5000 block of West Douglas at about 8:20 p.m. Wednesday. She got out, urinated in the yard and then slapped a 3-year-old child in the face a number of times.

She then drove away, pulling into a second yard and then a third, where she ran over a mailbox. The locations were several blocks apart, Capt. Darrell Atteberry said.

The woman was pulled over at a fourth address and taken into custody.

This one sounds like something out of a movie. Just when you think, okay, that has to be it, the dude keeps it going. It all started with a call to the Wyoming Highway Patrol reporting a man driving erratically. Per The Kemmerer Gazette:

The first caller advised the patrol dispatcher that a white car was swerving all over the highway and had run off the road. The driver of the white car was out of the car and was running back and forth across the roadway in front of traffic. The dispatch center began getting multiple calls from motorists advising that the white male driver of the ... vehicle was standing out in the roadway and was wearing no clothes.

Drunk or crazy guy swerving, running off the road, streaking ...

Approximately four minutes later, calls were received that advised the naked man, later identified as 26-year-old Armondo Cano from Moroni, Utah, was now fighting with another man. Cano eventually re-entered his vehicle and headed eastbound on the Interstate once again.

Naked fighting man, now naked driving man ...

Approximately 17 miles later Cano intentionally rammed another eastbound vehicle occupied by a couple from Cheyenne.

Dude! Really?

When both vehicles stopped Cano, still unclothed, attempted to enter the couple's vehicle. Seeing the crash and unaware of what was really happening, a female passerby stopped to offer assistance.

Uh-oh

Cano forced his way into her vehicle climbing into the back seat as the female driver fled her vehicle on foot.

Smart gal. So that's it? Nope.

Cano found a 9mm semi-automatic handgun in the female s vehicle and began firing it from inside the vehicle out the closed windows. At this time it is unclear how many rounds he fired or exactly what or who he was shooting at.

Once the shooting began the Cheyenne couple [who he'd rammed] attempted to drive away from the scene however Cano, who was now back in his own vehicle, chased after them and rammed them once again.

Reminds The Juice of "The Hitcher" ...

Cano, still in possession of the semi-automatic firearm, traveled approximately 3 miles further down the road where he stopped, exited his vehicle and then lay in the highway with the handgun.

Dude has to be gassed by now, right? Um, not yet.

Several truck drivers and motorists stopped and Cano, with a pipe, began breaking out the glass windows in an unknown number of trucks. One truck driver was cut however it is unknown haw badly he was cut or by what.

Help, police!

At this point, one Trooper arrived on scene and attempted to take Cano in to custody. A struggle began between Cano and the Trooper. The Trooper was assisted by several of the truck drivers in wrestling Cano to the ground. A Sweetwater County Sheriff s Deputy arrived moments later and the individuals were able to gain control of Cano which enabled the officers to handcuff him.

So what happened to Mr. Cano?

[He] is currently being held on an emergency detention and has not been charged ... but does face numerous felony charges.

The Juice needs to take a breather. That was one helluva rampage. Here's the source.

The Juice is not willing to excuse parents who FORGOT - for 40 minutes - that they left their kid locked in the car ... while they ate. (See yesterday's post.) So, you can imagine how The Juice feels about a parent who INTENTIONALLY left her 2-year-old child in a car for 30-45 minutes while she did some [allegedly] bad things. As reported by the Argus Leader (South Dakota):

A Sioux Falls woman reportedly left her 2-year-old daughter in a running car early this morning while she played video lottery.

Bad, right? It gets worse.

Police found the child after a casino employee at Diamond Dan's on 18th Street and Minnesota Avenue called to report a fraudulent lottery ticket at 1:30 a.m., police spokesman Sam Clemens said.

So, not only was she apparently breaking the law, but who knows how long she would have left the child in the car? And about the reported fraud ...

The employee cashed one $300 ticket for 26-year-old Annie Marie Bowden but got suspicious when she returned moments later with another $300 winner.

When police arrived, Clemens said, they found the employee attempting to restrain Bowden, who was trying to tear up the tickets.

Rookie. Everyone knows in that situation you need to EAT the evidence.

Police found four tickets - one of which was an obvious photocopy, he said. The authenticity of the other tickets was unclear.

What about the child?

Bowden reportedly asked officers if she could check on her daughter, who was sitting in a car in the parking lot of a nearby business.

The casino employee told police Bowden had been inside for 30-45 minutes. The child, who Clemens said was crying for her mother when police found her, was taken into protective custody.

The charges?

Bowden was charged with possession of a forged instrument, counterfeiting video lottery tickets and contributing to the abuse or neglect or a minor.

Here's the source.

No doubt that, unfortunately, lots of people have pushed their kids around in a stroller while intoxicated. But this takes the cake, as reported by annarbor.com:

Ypsilanti police arrested a drunken couple early this morning after they were pushing a baby stroller with two young boys, open containers of alcohol and a bayonet inside, a police news release said.

According to the release, officers responded to the 500 block of Perry Street about 1:30 a.m. after the woman attempted to grab a bicycle off someone's porch.

Security guards had been watching the couple and detained the woman, the release said. Officers found the woman's sons, ages 1 and 4, in the stroller - along with the open containers and a "double-edged bayonet," the release said.

Police said both were highly intoxicated and a "long way" from their residence.

The 30-year-old woman and 52-year-old man, both from Ypsilanti Township, were taken into custody. The woman was taken to a local hospital to be checked out after she complained of abdominal pain, the release said. The children were turned over to a relative who lives nearby, the release said.

Just to recap: The kids are 1 and 4. The man and woman were "highly intoxicated." It was 1:30 a.m.! They were a "long way" from home. There was a "double-edged bayonet" in the stroller. There were open containers in the stroller. Oh, and the woman was trying to steal a bike. The charges?

It's unclear what charges may be filed in the case.

The Juice can think of a few ...

How often do you think to yourself "I love work so much, I wish I never had to go home"? Me too. How about "Wow, I wish this day would end so I can go home"? Me too. Still, how far would you go to get off of work early? Would you, say, start a fire in your office? How about turning off the breaker for the entire office building? How about rigging the phones so that there would be no incoming calls? Sounds crazy, right? Check this out, as reported by the St. Petersburg Times:

Pasco sheriff's investigators said Michelle Perrino, 40, started a fire at Bayonet Point Oxygen on May 12, 2009. Perrino drew suspicion when she mentioned the fire's origin — a filing cabinet — during an employee meeting. Employees had not been told where the fire started.

Filing cabinet? No, I didn't say "filing cabinet." I said "hire a rabit." You know, rabbits are fast, and they're so cute ...

[The] Sheriff's reports also quoted Perrino's friend, who said she told him she also tripped the main breaker for the office building so it would lose power and adjusted the phones so no calls could come in, all so she would be sent home from work early with pay.

So what happened to Ms. Perrino?

[She] pleaded guilty Monday to criminal mischief and was sentenced to nine months in jail, followed by five years of probation. She must also pay $4,800 in restitution and have no contact with Bayonet Point Oxygen or its employees.

Works for The Juice.

What was this young man thinking? I'm feeling depressed, so I'll throw a dog at a motorcycle gang? Here's the story, as reported by Reuters:

A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell's Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer.

German police said on Monday that after making his getaway from the Hell's Angels club, the 26-year-old dumped the bulldozer, causing a 5 km (3 miles) traffic jam near the southern town of Allershausen, local police said. He then fled to his home nearby where he was apprehended by the police.

"What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell's Angels is currently unclear," said a spokesman for local police, adding that the student had lately been suffering from depression.

The puppy was now in safe hands, the spokesman added.

It was not a good night for employees at a Kalamazoo, Michigan Wendy's. Why? A drive-thru order turned into a melee - outside of, and inside, the restaurant. As reported by The Kalamazoo Gazette:

Kalamazoo Department of Public Safety officers said they were called to the restaurant at 2814 Portage St. at about 12:17 a.m. Saturday to quell a large fight.

Upon arrival, officers encountered a loud disturbance between unsatisfied customers and frustrated employees inside the business, according to a police news release.

Remember, these were drive-thru customers.

During their investigation, officers were told the incident started outside when four customers in a vehicle, voiced their displeasure with an employee at the drive-up window.

According to the news release, customers said there was a discrepancy between the food that was ordered and that what they received. Wendy’s workers said it was simply a communication breakdown that could have been easily fixed.

But it wasn't ...

... officers said they were told that as tempers flared, fountain beverages, hamburgers and fries were all hurled through the drive-up window and the food struck an employee inside.

Well, the customer's always right, right?

The employee allegedly then threw food items back out at the vehicle, striking it with carbonated soda, ketchup and fries.

Oh no you di'int.

Officers said two of the vehicle occupants went into the restaurant and began fighting with employees . Punches and chairs were thrown.

Wo. And?

Two of the customers, Kalamazoo residents, were arrested on charges of assault and excessive noise. The employee received minor scrapes and abrasions during the melee.

Shazam!

Although countless acres of pot are growing throughout the world, it is unlikely many of them are in the garden of a convent. There is (or was) one such acre in the garden of a convent in Uganda, as reported by the BBC:

A regional police chief told the BBC that plants covering one acre had been found and uprooted in the southern Masaka district. Two nuns and two porters have been questioned.

One of the nuns has been quoted by local media as saying the marijuana was used to treat farm animals, such as pigs.

Really? Did she say that with a straight face? Was it before or after she asked if anyone had any food because she was really, really hungry?

Southern regional commander Emmanuel Muhuirwe told the BBC News website that only the porters had been arrested - not the nuns.

He said the nuns had been questioned because the garden was part of the convent. But he said no-one had been charged yet and the porters have been released on bail.

Here's the source.

How can you be guaranteed that you'll catch the thief who stole your car? Easy. Report it stolen, then get caught driving it. Really. Per The Rome (Georgia) News-Tribune:

Ryan Lance Roland, 24, of 2005 Dean Ave., Room 315, told police that someone came to his room while he was at the store and that his 2001 Acura Integra was stolen.

After placing a lookout for the car, police found Roland driving it three hours later on Maple Street. Roland took an alcohol sensor test and was found to be over the legal limit.

Roland is charged with false report of a crime and DUI. He was released on $2,700 bond Sunday.

Doh!

It's so easy to say - "just keep your eyes on the road." Some distractions are not that easy to ignore. Such was the case on I-95 in Connecticut, as reported by The Online Hour (Norwalk) Connecticut).

A naked man "yelling that he was Jesus" was the catalyst for a five-vehicle accident on I-95 Northbound near exit 16 early Saturday morning that injured three people, mangled a tandem tractor-trailer truck and slowed traffic to a crawl for nearly six hours, according to Darien Police Sgt. Jeremiah P. Marron Jr.

Marron said Darien Police responded to a call regarding a nude male causing a disturbance on I-95 north at exit 14. When police arrived, they saw the man hop into a silver car. With assistance from Norwalk and State Police, Darien officers were able to pull the car over near exit 16.

Now that would be an interesting court proceeding!

The landscape is littered with men who have gone to great lengths to entice women to have sex. But this may be a new low. As reported by The Arab Times:

Police have arrested a Kuwaiti man for cheating an unidentified young woman, reports Al-Anba daily.


According to reports the man wanted to have ‘fun’ with the woman and he to fulfill his wish said he wants to marry her.
He then allegedly took her to a marriage officer in Ahmadi and married her in front of a marriage officer.

However, a few days later when the girl asked to see the marriage contract, she was shocked when she discovered the marriage officer was a fake person. 
Police are looking for the marriage officer.

Leaves one to wonder when he was going to tell her ...

Man goes to Presque Isle Downs & Casino in Pennsylvania. Man plays slots. Man wins $2,001 jackpot. Man can't keep the jackpot? Nope. And here's why, per the Erie Times News:

The man, 55, had banned himself from the state's casinos under a Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board self-help program.

What does this mean?

Not only does he forfeit his winnings, but he will be facing a summary criminal trespass charge.

Injury, meet insult. (adding insult to injury ...)

The gaming board, which regulates the state's casino industry, offers the self-exclusion program for people who know they need help. Those who sign up decide whether they want to ban themselves for one or five years, or for life.

The Waterford man gambled at the casino Friday, between 10 a.m. and noon, police said. He had signed up for the self-exclusion program in April 2009, police said.

It's a popular program.

The man is one of 1,351 people across the state, including others from the Erie area, who are currently enrolled in the PGCB's self-exclusion program. The total number has grown steadily each year, from 185 at the end of 2007.

How about having the winnings go to a charity? It seems to be a win-win situation for the casinos. They get the money, and don't have to pay the jackpot. Or ... do they? The Juice has learned that the money
goes to a compulsive and problem gambler treatment fund.