Squeezed on:

gross%20sign.jpg

Please, if you are prone to being grossed out, stop here. Remember, The Juice warned you. So, it started with what appeared to be a routine suspected DUI. Then it got weird, and gross. As reported by The Durango Herald (Colorado):

According to an arrest affidavit, the events began at 11:59 p.m. Feb. 11 when a Durango Police Department officer observed a vehicle turn right onto 32nd Street from Main Avenue without using a turn signal.

The officer, Chad Langley, pulled Kausalik [a 31-year veteran of the U.S. Postal Service who has been in Durango since 1982] over …

While speaking to Kausalik, the officer detected alcohol on his breath, according to the affidavit. Kausalik said he had not been drinking.

Kausalik performed voluntary roadside maneuvers, but not to Langley’s satisfaction, the affidavit says.

A preliminary breath test indicated he had a blood-alcohol level of 0.142, almost three times the 0.05 legal driving limit in Colorado.

Fairly routine stop thus far. Man appears to be drunk, smells of alcohol, denies drinking, fails field sobriety test, fails initial BAC test.

Langley arrested Kausalik and took him to the Durango police station … for a formal breath test.

Please, not the formal breath test…

At the station, Kausalik asked to use the restroom. Officer Langley twice found Kausalik asleep in the restroom.

He told Kausalik he could not stay in the restroom all night to avoid the breath test, and he needed to either take the test or choose a refusal.

Actually, there is another option, which could be considered a refusal of sorts …

Kausalik eventually left the bathroom looking at the floor, walking toward the officer.

Langley asked Kausalik what was in his mouth, and he continued to walk toward the officer, head down and expressionless.

When Kausalik was about 4 feet from the officer, Kausalik looked up, opened his mouth and took a deep breath.

“As I observed what he had in his mouth, I took a step back and began turning my head as he violently spit the contents of his mouth toward my face,” officer Langley wrote in the affidavit. “I felt the matter [FECES!!!!!] strike the left side of my face and head.” Kausalik also had feces on his hands, the affidavit says.

If you’re not completely grossed out, check your pulse. You can read the full story, and see the mug shot here.

Squeezed on:

good%20to%20go%20sign%20market%20convenience%20store.jpg

Fancy having a “go” at the “Good To Go”? Maybe that’s how these folks ended up carnally knowing each other for over an hour outside of the “Good To Go” convenience store in Florida. As reported by WZVN-HD:

According to a sheriff’s report, deputies responded to the Good To Go Store at 16871 San Carlos Boulevard in Fort Myers in reference to an indecent exposure call.

As the deputies arrived, they spotted a naked Pomfret and half-naked Prothero having sex in plain view underneath a tree near the store, according to the report.

When a deputy walked over and told them to stop and get dressed, neither listened, the deputy said.

Sorry deputy. The Juice believes they actually did listen to you … and just chose to ignore you since they were kinda busy.

Once the deputy announced she was with the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, both reportedly stopped and put on their clothes.

And then?

George Pomfret, 49, and Brenda Prothero, 48, both of Fort Myers, were arrested [taken into custody] and charged with Indecent Exposure in Public.

Click here for the source, including photographs.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

shock%20electric%20zap%20electrical.gifYes, Christian Haughwout, a 14-year-old student at The Morgan School in Clinton, Connecticut, was suspended for 10 days for … bringing a camera to school that emits a mild shock! The official reason for the suspension?

“Possession of a dangerous instrument and causing a threat or danger to the physical well-being of himself or other people.”

Really? Yes, and on top of that, as reported by The Hartford Courant:

In juvenile court, the boy also faces charges of possession of a dangerous weapon on school grounds, attempted assault and breach of peace.

Suspended and busted! What to do. Christian’s parents challenged the suspension via a lawsuit in federal court. The case was settled, with the school letting Christian return, and his parents agreeing to drop the lawsuit.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

the%20exorcist.jpg

The gent says he just wanted to talk with the preacher. Well sir, it is alleged that a little more than that happened one day back in February 2012, as reported by knoxnews.com:

Andrew Byrd filed a lawsuit Feb. 15 in Sevier County against the Rev. Joel Arwood, his wife Theresa Arwood and deacon Charles Shields, all of Sevierville, as well as the Family Chapel Church of God and the Church of God International.

So what happened?

According to the lawsuit, Shields and the Arwoods asked Byrd on Feb. 21, 2012, to attend a meeting at Family Chapel Church of God, 1038 Charlotte’s Court in Pigeon Forge. During the meeting, Theresa Arwood said Byrd had a “demon or spirit that needed to be cast out,” according to the lawsuit.

“Thereafter, Joel Arwood and Charles Shields physically assaulted (Byrd) , while being encouraged by the shouts of Theresa Arwood,” Byrd states in the lawsuit.

According to a Sevier County Sheriff’s Office report, Byrd suffered a broken tooth, bruising and lacerations to the face, and pain and lasting injury to his back and leg.

Yikes.

Byrd alleges the pastor later bragged to the congregation that he had “punched the devil and knocked the devil’s tooth out.”

Byrd alleges in the lawsuit that Joel Arwood then “published” allegations accusing Byrd of murdering three people in Sevier County, including a 16-year-old girl, and having a contract to kill two more people, knowing that the statements were false.

Should be one helluva trial. Here’s the source.

Continue reading →

Squeezed on:

thermostat.jpg

In probably every household, there is disagreement regarding the desirable thermostat temperature. In almost every household, a compromise is reached. In this household, not so much. These sisters, who share a home, got into it over one degree. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

Ilona Sales and Wanda Lupina both say they ended up bruised in the tussle sparked when Sales turned the heat up to 68 degrees.

Lupina turned the heat down one degree, to 67, and that’s when the trouble started …

Lupina, claims Sales then punched her, pulled her hair and knocked her to the ground. Sales has been charged with misdemeanor battery and a court date was set for Monday afternoon in Joliet.

Hmm. Do you think Sales would agree with that version? Nope.

Sales alleges that Lupina started the fight and left her with bruised arms.

And if you think these ladies might have a hard time living together after this, you’re right.

It apparently was the last straw. Now Sales wants to move out and has filed a civil lawsuit over their home.

Sales moved in with Lupina a couple of years ago and helped pay off Lupina’s mortgage after selling her Arizona home. The idea was that they’d both save expenses by living together.

Sales wants to get her name off the house title, and has asked a judge to order Lupina to return her money, which could force Lupina to buy out Sales or sell the home, Haney said.

Yikes.

Squeezed on:

retirement%20home.jpg

You probably know that, in many jurisdictions, crimes committed against the elderly are treated more seriously, and thus punished more severely. So, what happens when an elderly person commits the crime? Leniency? As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer:

A 70-year-old Hinckley Township man is accused of robbing the Huntington Bank on Center Road. Hugh Crouch is charged with aggravated robbery.

Yikes!

Brunswick police were called at 1:13 p.m. Tuesday to the bank at 3630 Center Road. Officers encountered the suspect leaving in a 2009 Chevrolet Silverado and tried to pull it over.

The driver kept going. Brunswick officers were joined by Medina and Medina Township officers, Medina County deputies and state troopers. The chase ended on East Smith Road in Medina, where Crouch was arrested after the Silverado struck a Brunswick police car.

“Now officer, do I look like a bank robber?” Perhaps not, but …

Additional charges are being considered.

Here’s the Plain Dealer article.

Posted in: Odd Cases
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

remote%20control%20tv.jpg

You’ve probably heard someone say that TV is like a drug. Well, this story certainly bolsters that notion. Per the Northwest Florida Daily News:

Natasha Lynn Head, a 34-year-old Fort Walton Beach woman, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after she picked up a knife and told the victim he was going to leave “in a body bag,” according to her Fort Walton Beach Police Department arrest report.

Yes, the fight started over a remote control!

She and the victim had been arguing over the television remote control, which he hid from her so she could not watch television in the bedroom, according to the report.

The victim said Head charged at him with the knife, which caused him to hide in the bathroom and call 911, the report said.

Her defense?

Head told police she never intended to harm the victim and only got the knife so she could break into the bathroom and get the remote.

What? Like you’ve never used a knife to open a door? Here’s the source, mug shot and all.

Squeezed on:

heart.jpg

On Valentine’s Day, this is how you treat your fiancee? The Juice hopes they did not put any wedding-related deposits down. From The Union Leader:

Gary Cormier, 41, of 515 Hall St., is accused of first threatening his fiancee on Valentine’s Day and, after being released on bail, stalking her.

Yikes.

Cormier is accused of jumping out in front of the woman’s vehicle on Hall Street and pounding on the hood and when she put the vehicle in reverse, opening the door and trying to pull her out, scaring her.

After his release on bail, he is accused of returning to the Hall Street address. Police prosecutors then filed a motion to revoke Cormier’s bail on the first charge. “Because I went home,” Cormier said.

Cormier will be held without bail until a hearing Tuesday in Circuit Court, Manchester District Division.

To Mr. Cormier’s credit …

At his arraignment Friday in Circuit Court, Cormier said: “I’d like to pleady guilty and get it over with.” Told each charge carries a sentence of up to one year, Cormier said: “If I go to jail for a year, I go to jail.”

To the judge’s credit …

The judge refused to accept a guilty plea, telling Cormier he needs to talk to a lawyer. Cormier agreed and trial was set for March 21.

You’ll find the source here.

Continue reading →

Squeezed on:

taxi.jpg

If you want to be a taxicab driver in King County, Washington (county seat, Seattle), be advised that you cannot wear shorts, sandals, jogging or warm-up suits or sweatshirts or similar attire, or “any similar clothing.” Fortunately, raingear is allowed (unless it looks like a warm-up or a sweatshirt?). Unfortunately, you may not wear underwear “as an outer garment.” King County Code Section 6.64.680
If you still want to drive a taxicab in Seattle, heed the following: You must wear “suitable clothes,” defined as “full-length pants, collared shirts and shoes.” (The Juice is out, since he only wears a collared shirt in Court, or for his website photo.) You must also be “well groomed,” which requires “bathing or showering on a normal basis” (Is there a King County “Bathing and Showering Inspector?”). You must have “hair that is neatly trimmed, beards and mustaches [that] are groomed and neatly trimmed at all times in order not to present a ragged appearance, and scalp and facial hair [that] are combed and brushed.” Oh, and a poorly groomed taxicab driver involved in an automobile accident will be presumed to be at fault. (Okay, there is no such presumption. But you had no trouble believing it, right?)

Now, if you are STILL interested, make sure you have no convictions for the following crimes or you’re out of luck, no matter how well you dress: use of a machine gun in a felony, murder, manslaughter, kidnapping, arson, robbery, and, of course, leading organized crime. King County Code Section 6.64.600.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

huh%20picture%20image.jpg

Tumid? Seriously, does anyone know what “tumid” means? Some legislators did, because they put it in Section 3303.14 of the Columbus (Ohio) Code:

“Nude” or “state of nudity” means a state of dress or undress that exposes to view: …

2. Human male genitals in a discernibly tumid state, even with a complete and opaque covering, or

3. A covering or device that when worn, depicts, represents, or simulates human female genitals, human female areolae or nipples, or human male genitals in a discernibly tumid state.

(Emphasis added by The Juice.) If you still don’t know what “tumid” means, click here.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated: