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Some people just seem intent on sucking all of the joy out of life. Here’s a case in point, as reported by The Seattle Times:

The staff at Lafayette Elementary School in West Seattle has decided to uphold its decision not to allow students to dress up for Halloween this year, according to a Seattle Public Schools spokeswoman.

The decision, however, was centered around the costumes being a distraction during an abbreviated day of school, not around the possibility of offending students from other cultures, or offending some students’ religious beliefs, district spokeswoman Teresa Wippel said in an email sent out this morning.

So you made a bad decision, reviewed it, and decided to stick with it. Brilliant!

“Staff suggested that since Halloween falls this year on a half day of school, the school not allow costumes. It takes students a while to change into their costumes, and students are distracted, taking away from the already limited instructional time,” Wippel wrote.

“The principal said that staff also had a conversation about cultural issues that will also be discussed further, but the reason for the final decision about costumes this year was due to instructional time.”

As Colonel Sherman Potter of M.A.S.H. was fond of saying, “horse hockey!” In keeping with the teachings of Otter in Animal House (“We’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!”), one parent is somewhat defiant.

Although Halloween has its roots as a religious observance, parent Ken Allen said it’s pretty clearly a secular holiday now, and that’s what he’s hearing from other parents.

Allen’s daughter plans to dress up as Hunger Games protagonist Katniss Everdeen, and will get in costume after school if the costume ban holds.

Wippel said there is no district-wide policy on costumes. The decision to allow costumes is up to individual schools.

At least he’s a straightforward joysucker. Here’s the source.

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Running from the authorities? Not a good idea. Running from the authorities in the courthouse? Doh! Per wane.com:

It happened Tuesday in Tampa. A 25-year-old man in a purple shirt refused to sign his paperwork in a court case. Surveillance video shows the man took off running through the courthouse.

Bailiffs and two Tampa police officers gave chase and he was eventually tackled. The man was arrested and jailed without bond.

He was in the courthouse to be sentenced for giving false information to a police officer. Now, he faces battery on a police officer and resisting arrest charges.

 

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It’s nice to see a couple in love, right? Yes, and no. In this case, definitely “no.” As reported by wkmg (clickorlando.com):

Orlando police said Jeremie Calo, 32, and his date were “having sex on a table in view of minor children” on the patio of Paddy Murphy’s restaurant.

Yikes!

“That’s ridiculous that they would do that out in public and also in front of kids,” said Ashley Webster. Several witnesses told Local 6 that parents with children were eating on the patio as the couple started making out, then things went further.

The kids!

“That’s totally unacceptable and insane. I’m shocked. I can’t believe that,” said Jackie Kelvington as she watched her daughter at gymnastics across the street. “I would absolutely yank my kids, get them away from that situation and hope that they didn’t see too much.”

Run!

The manager at Paddy Murphy’s, Tom Murphy, said as soon as he realized what was going on he put a stop to it. He told the couple, “Compose yourself, pay your tab or I’ll call the police,” according to the report.

Said Mr. Calo:

“She can’t get up at this time” because his date was still on top of him.

Funny. Not smart or cool. But pretty funny.

Murphy called police, and the couple then stopped what they were doing.

When police arrived, they arrested Calo for fighting with the manager and refusing to pay the $101 bill.

Wait, not fornicating in public, or some such charge?

Neither Calo nor his date were arrested for any of the sex allegations because none of the parents who saw the sex acts wanted to write statements for police.

Here’s the source.

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Hey, what’s the big deal? Clearly their yard wasn’t big enough for the bash, so these Texas twin brothers decided to “borrow” someone else’s property. Can you believe the property owners were not okay with this? As reported by khou.com:

[19-year-old twin brothers] Shawn and DaShawn Butler reportedly promoted the party online and invited people to an open field in Huffman on Saturday.

Deputies said they found the twins and a juvenile there on Friday. They also discovered the lock on the private property’s gate had been cut.

The land owners said they never gave anyone permission to use their land for a party and they agreed to pursue criminal trespassing charges.

So, how many people were expected to post?

Four thousand people were expected to converge on the property until deputies had one of the twins post a message saying the party has been cancelled.

Shazam!

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Do you think these provisions of the Tennessee Constitution might be unconstitutional?

ARTICLE IX
Disqualifications.

Section 1. Whereas ministers of the Gospel are by their profession, dedicated to God and the care of souls, and ought not to be diverted from the great duties of their functions; therefore, no minister of the Gospel, or priest of any denomination whatever, shall be eligible to a seat in either House of the Legislature.

Section 2. No person who denies the being of God, or a future state of rewards and punishments, shall hold any office in the civil department of this state.

Yikes. Here’s the text. (Scroll down to page 553.)

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It’s undisputed that, if you postpone dealing with a problem it goes away. Wait, you mean that’s not true? Then why does everyone act as if it were? Anyway, per The Orlando Sentinel:

According to an arrest report, the incident began in a shopping plaza at Pine Hills Road and State Road 50, where 31-year-old Schyvonne Whitaker saw her boyfriend talking to another woman.

The woman, Tina Reese, said that Whitaker approached the pair in a red sport utility vehicle. The boyfriend’s response, Reese said, was to tell Whitaker to “drive off.”

Oh, it’s on now.

Reese left the shopping plaza at the intersection, heading north on Pine Hills in a Pontiac G6, when suddenly she saw Whitaker’s Suzuki XL7 approach at a high speed.

Whitaker began ramming the rear bumper of the sedan, witnesses said, and both drivers lost control. They crashed into a house at the intersection of Deauville Drive.

Before the crash, it seems that Ms. Whitaker was a bit overconfident.

Whitaker was taken into custody shortly after the incident. A passenger in her SUV told deputies that Whitaker said “I got you now” as she rammed Reese’s bumper.

And the fallout?

Reese, Whitaker and the other occupants in both vehicles survived mostly unscathed. The front walls of the small, one-story structure, however, suffered heavy damage in the crash.

Deputies arrested Whitaker in the suspected attack, charging her with aggravated battery with a motor vehicle, aggravated assault with a motor vehicle and criminal mischief.

An arresting deputy added a charges of providing a false identification and driving with a suspended license after he said Whitaker purposely misspelled her name while in custody.

And here’s another reason why maybe Ms. Whitaker should have dealt with her problems off the road.

The deputy wrote in his report that he later discovered Whitaker’s license has 24 active suspensions dating back to 2008, and is also currently expired.

Records show Whitaker has several previous arrests in Orange County, and served more than three years in prison after a 1995 conviction on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

She remained in the Orange County Jail on Saturday afternoon. Her bail was set at $5,650.

What? With that history, and trying to run someone off the road, bail is $5,650? How do you even come up with a number like that?

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You just can’t go around arresting people for cussing, or you may be ponying up, as this Georgia city discovered. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Community activist Mary Kirkendoll grew so frustrated with Smyrna’s town hall question-and-answer session, she stood up and began to leave. Before she got to the door, she turned toward the audience and uttered a profanity. “This is [expletive],” she said during the April 21, 2009, meeting. “They are never going to tell the truth.”

Really, AJC? You can’t say “bullshit” when it’s a direct quote that’s at the heart of the story? Anyway …

Kirkendoll was immediately put under arrest and then jailed for more than two hours. Later, she filed a federal lawsuit, alleging her free speech rights had been violated and that she had been falsely arrested and imprisoned.

What did this lulu cost the city? (Fine. What did it cost the city’s insurance carrier…)

This week, the city’s insurance carrier agreed to pay $85,000 to Kirkendoll to settle the litigation, city spokeswoman Jennifer Bennett said. The city was not involved in the carrier’s decision to settle, she said.

“I hope that the city and mayor got the message and that no one else will ever be arrested for simply speaking out during a public meeting,” Kirkendoll said Thursday. “I am certainly thankful the lawsuit is over and that I have finally been vindicated.”

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Surely at one point this law served some purpose – maybe back when people knew what roentgen rays were. But now? It seems unlikely, though RCW 70.98.170 (Prohibition — fluoroscopic x-ray shoefitting devices) is still on the books in Washington. It reads as follows:

The operation or maintenance of any X-ray, fluoroscopic, or other equipment or apparatus employing roentgen rays, in the fitting of shoes or other footwear or in the viewing of bones in the feet is prohibited. This prohibition does not apply to any licensed physician, surgeon, *podiatrist, or any person practicing a licensed healing art, or any technician working under the direct and immediate supervision of such persons.

You’ll find the law here.

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He crashed his Hummer into their – um, his – house! At about 2:30 a.m.! As reported by delawareonline:

According to New Castle County police, the tenants, a 50-year-old man and his 53-year-old wife, awoke around 2:30 a.m. to a loud crash at their home on Lute Court in the Harmony Woods development in Ogletown.

They looked outside to see “headlights shining into the bedroom” and quickly went to check on their 6-year-old son sleeping in a separate bedroom. They then heard what sounded like a person attempting to kick in the front door.

As the woman was on the phone, calling 911, Ott allegedly shouted, “Tell the police it’s the landlord that tore up the building.”

He then fled the scene, according to police, leaving a footprint on the front door.

Officers investigating the incident later went to Ott’s home on Old Baltimore Pike and found his Hummer, damaged, with a pine branch lodged in the bumper.

Doh! What is the landlord, Mr. Ott looking at?

…charges of attempted burglary, harassment, leaving the scene of an accident, reckless driving, failure to report an accident and endangering the welfare of the three occupants of the home.

Whew. The Juice is out of breath.

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