Squeezed on:

ear.jpg
The Juice has learned that William Congreve is the source of this oft-quoted passage:

Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d,

Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.

Suffice it to say that Mr. Congreve had not met a man such as this fellow:

An inebriated man bit off his ex-girlfriend’s ear at a restaurant in Chifeng, the Inner Mongolia autonomous region, last week.

The man has been arrested.

Days after the woman broke up with him, the man invited her for dinner at a restaurant and begged her to return to him.

When she refused, he pounced on her and bit off one of her ears.

The ear was only found the next morning, which was too late for doctors to fix it back.

An ear for an ear? This story was reported by the North News (China).

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

A police officer who stepped up in a Fortitude Valley freestyle rap battle has become a cult hit on YouTube, as reported by The Courier-Mail.

The clip shows the officer being taunted by local rapper Fluence, who risks arrest for obscenity and public nuisance with a line about “makin’ bacon”.

Instead of whipping out the cuffs, Constable Jay pulls out a put-down – referring to his adversary “downloading gay porn and watching it in slow-mo”. The crowd erupts. Constable Jay then quells the uproar with a plea to “not cause too much of a ruckus”. Constable Jay has since earned the nickname “Slim Shady” from his fellow officers.

Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcudMeUfqD8

Constable Jay may have a new career …

And Real Talk Battles League president Dennyson Willoughby has invited him to participate in a police versus citizens “battle” fundraiser at the PCYC. “Honestly, I’ve had run-ins with officers and I’ve never met one so cool,” Mr Willougby said.

“He just basically stood there, took it with a grain of salt, gave back his two cents and before it got out of hand, said: ‘Oi, oi, calm down’.

“He’s obviously got skills. Not only did his rhyme make sense, and it was an effective punchline, but he actually fed off of Fluence’s rhyme scheme, rhyming ‘low-low’ and ‘po po’ with ‘hobo’ and ‘slo-mo’.

“It was a pure, quality, 100 per cent battle-style rebuttal – which came from a cop… which was unexpected.”

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

jail%20cell%20prison.jpg

For something that is all about “freedom,” this gent has spent a lot of time in jail because of it. For what? As always, The Juice provides you with the naked truth, this time via scotsman.com.

Naked rambler Stephen Gough has been arrested, just three days after he was released from a six-year jail term.

No! Not again!

Gough, who hikes across the United Kingdom nude, was arrested in Townhill, Dunfermline, yesterday afternoon by officers from Fife Constabulary. The 53-year-old had been released from Perth prison on Tuesday.

A spokesman for Fife Constabulary said he had been arrested following complaints from members of the public and had been charged with a breach of the peace.

Damn you public! Seriously, the man is not hurting anyone.

The former marine, from Eastleigh in Hampshire, earned the “naked rambler” nickname by walking unclothed from Land’s End to John o’ Groats after quitting his job as a lorry driver.

He said earlier this week, as he walked free from jail, that he planned to walk to England to see his family.

In the past, officers at Perth prison would wait at the gates of the jail to re-arrest him on his release as he set off naked. However, this week they decided to turn a blind eye.

Finally! The man served his country. Good choice to let him be.

As he strolled through Perthshire naked on Thursday, he reportedly said: “The human body is not offensive – anyone who thinks this is offensive is acting irrationally. It is social conditioning gone wrong.”

Gough went on: “Freedom is why I am doing this. The naked bit is secondary. So I’ve not won or lost my battle. I’ve not lost time behind bars because I am still alive and free. And that’s how it will stay.”

He said he had spent up to 23 hours a day in solitary confinement at Perth because of his refusal to wear clothes.

If that’s true, it’s beyond idiotic. It’s criminal.

He said the time passed quickly and that, although he had expected trouble from some inmates, most had been supportive and friendly.

As for the origin of the journey …

Gough’s initial Land’s End to John o’ Groat’s trip began in 2003 and was beset with difficulties, including numerous arrests, beatings from gangs of youths and time in a psychiatric hospital. [A psychiatric assessment has concluded that Gough is sane.]

Each time he has appeared in court, he has been naked apart from a blanket. He has mostly been charged with a breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner, by walking naked in the presence of the public.

He continues to refuse to wear clothes, and says that he would like to repeal indecency laws and establishment attitudes.

For this he’s spent the past 6 years in jail? Not cool. Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr. Gough.

Squeezed on:

empty%20pockets.jpg

If you were asked what’s in your pockets right now, you would probably know, right? This dude clearly thought he knew, but he was wrong … Per The Northwest Florida Daily News:

On July 15 an officer was called to the Rancho Alegre bar on Hollywood Boulevard by employees who had escorted a suspected drug dealer off the premises.  The man, Herminio Hurtado-Resendiz, 24, of Destin, told the officer he wasn’t selling drugs and voluntarily pulled out his pants pockets.

Um, are you sure about that?

The police officer spotted a small plastic bag fall out of Resendiz’s right-front pocket and land on the ground. The bag was full of a white, powdery substance that field-tested positive for cocaine.

Doh!

Resendiz was charged with possession of a controlled substance.

Here’s the source.

Posted in: Oops
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

middle%20finger.jpg

Regular Juice readers know that you have a first amendment right to flip off a police officer. That doesn’t mean you won’t be arrested and thrown in jail. It just means that ultimately you will prevail. Any way, the same does NOT hold true for Judges, as this gent learned. As reported by NewsLeader.com (Springfield, Missouri):

David Hernandez, 31, was arrested Wednesday at about 3 p.m. while in the audience of a court proceeding. According to the judge’s docket sheet, Hernandez disrupted the court three times.

“Upon Mr. Hernandez’s departure from the courtroom, in direct view of Judge (Todd) Thornhill, (defendant) flails his arms and then lifts both arms in the air and extends the middle finger of each hand in utter disrespect and contempt of court,” the docket sheet reads.

Hernandez was asked if there was any reason he should not be held in contempt and produced none, the docket sheet says. The court then found Hernandez in contempt and ordered him to jail until August 23. [a 30-day sentence]

A police incident report indicates Hernandez was booked without incident.

To his credit, Mr. Hernandez learned from his mistake, unlike this gent, or this one, or this one. Here’s the source.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

belt.jpg

Hmm. Do you take the belt, or not, and risk the consequences? Not that The Juice is pro-belt, but behaving is always an option – next time any way. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A 16-year-old boy has been arrested after he allegedly pushed his mother away as she was trying to discipline him.

The boy’s mother told an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputy the two got into an argument after she determined he was stealing cigarettes from her.

Stealing and smoking? Prepare your buttocks, young man.

She tried to discipline the boy with a belt, and he shoved her in the chest away from him.

The boy admitted shoving his mother.

Oh it’s on now … with the Judge.

[The boy] will report to juvenile court on Aug. 22.

Click here for the source.

Squeezed on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLwNNC2Ckco

Mess with this lady’s kid, and you may be looking at the back of her hand – coming at your face. As seen above, as reported by nbcmiami.com:

A Broward County mother is accused of being a school bus bully after she took justice into her own hands and confronted a child who hit her kid.

Toccara Daniels, 27, was arrested Tuesday and charged with burglary with assault or battery and child abuse without great harm.

Police say Daniels became irate when her young daughter told her another kid had hit him. The children are ages 6 and 7.

“Irate” about sums it up.

Daniels knocked on the bus door and the driver opened it, telling her she wasn’t allowed on, but she ignored the driver.

As evident in the video, the mad momma charged onto the school bus, had her daughter point out the boy who hit her. She then smacked the kid in the mouth with the back of her hand and told him, “don’t touch my child.”

As she she walked back to the front of the bus, the bus driver is heard telling her that she isn’t allowed on the bus, to which she replied, “I don’t give a f[uc]k.” The driver closed the bus doors and initially wouldn’t let her out.

As you might imagine, she wasn’t pleased, but she regrouped…

“Let me off this f[uck]in’ bus,” she can be heard saying. Eventually, she changes her tone, apologizes and the driver lets her off.

Click here for the source.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

drink%20and%20drive%20drunk%20driving%20driver%20not%20don%27t%20bad.jpg

A recent police blotter from The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario, Canada) has several examples of just how stupid people can be when they’re drunk. Of course, it might not be any different when they’re sober … but at least they wouldn’t put the lives of others at risk. This dipstick apparently forgot that McDonald’s is a fast food “restaurant” …

Staff at McDonald’s call police when a man ordering food at the drive thru appears to be drunk. They stall the customer until officers arrive. The 26-year-old Hamilton man is charged with impaired driving and refusing to give a breath sample.

Briliant! Being that The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, he gets especially pissed at dolts who flee the scene, like this guy.

A driver involved in a collision at Upper Wentworth and the Linc leaves the scene at 3:15 a.m. Half hour later, police locate the suspect trying to change a flat tire, stalled going the wrong direction on the eastbound QEW at the Red Hill. A 34-year-old Hamilton man is charged with fail to remain, impaired driving and over 80.

A well-deserved flat tire. This next miscreant is a bit more run-of-the-mill.

Witnesses call police at 1:20 a.m. when a woman who appears intoxicated leaves a variety store and gets into a vehicle. Officers find the woman asleep in the driver’s seat with the car running. The 44-year-old from Hamilton is charged with impaired and over 80.

Good idea, that, going to the variety store when you’re hammered.

Squeezed on:

ouch.jpg

Not sure how The Juice missed this one last week. One thing’s for sure – this gent wishes he’d missed. Yes, that’s cryptic. Here’s some clarification, as reported by NewsOn6.Com?

Police were called to Southwest Medical Center on Saturday, July 14, after a man came into the emergency room with a gunshot wound. Police questioned Tavares Donnell Colbert and told them he was on his way to sell a gun when he accidentally shot himself.

According to Colbert, he was on his way to S.E. 44th and Shields when he pulled over to the check the gun. He said he’d had problems with it earlier and wanted to make sure it was functioning properly.

Colbert told police when he tried to force the slide back, he also had his finger on the trigger. The gun went off and he shot himself in the penis.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! So what’s the “insult” added to this “injury”?

Police told Colbert because he had prior felony convictions it was illegal for him to own a gun. Colbert said he was aware of that, and that’s why he was trying to sell the weapon. Officers arrested Colbert after he was released from the hospital. He was booked into the Oklahoma County jail on one count of possession of a firearm.

Not a good day for Mr. Colbert. Here’s the source.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–