Squeezed on:

easter%20bunny.png

Forget about “I only had 2 drinks …” or “I was looking for the Easter Bunny…” Wait, that’s what this dude said he was doing. As reported by The Union Leader:

John Fowler, 50 … claimed a man had come to his house with information about the location of the Easter Bunny, and Fowler said he attempted to follow him.

What, like you wouldn’t do exactly the same thing?

When he lost the Easter Bunny informant, he tried to return home but crashed his car, Fowler reportedly told police.

Fowler did not sustain any injuries in the minor crash in the area of 105 Main St. around 1:30 a.m., but faces numerous charges, including driving while intoxicated, reckless driving, driving after suspension and misuse or failure to display plates. He was also arrested on two outstanding warrants from the court, police said.

Fowler was released on personal recognizance bail and is scheduled to appear in Candia District Court on Dec. 13 for arraignment.

Personal recognizance for a guy busted for drunk driving, on a suspended license, with two outstanding warrants? The Juice is not so trusting.

Squeezed on:

liar.jpg

This woman who pretended to have breast cancer to raise money for a certain elective surgery deserves some jail time. Think she got it? Read on, as reported by The Arizona Republic:

The Phoenix woman accused of pretending to have cancer to raise money for breast implants was sentenced to a year in jail and three years of probation Wednesday.

Jami Lynn Toler, 27, accepted a plea agreement in Maricopa County Superior Court in Phoenix. The agreement included paying restitution in addition to her sentence. The jail time began Wednesday.

Well done, your Honor. That sentence works for The Juice.

Toler pleaded guilty last month in Superior Court to theft, officials said. She told her former boss and her family that she needed a double mastectomy and that breast reconstruction was uninsured, according to court records.

Authorities said Toler raised more than $8,000.

What about the money?

Medical records had shown she did not have cancer and paid for the operation in cash.

So, so low. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

vote%20for%20me.png

Sadly, this story is not about a U.S. politician. This gent hails from Bosnia. As reported by Reuters:

“Seven days after my campaign began, the whole planet is talking about me,” Mirad Hadziahmetovic told Reuters. “I think I have had a super campaign and proved to be the best market expert in Bosnia.”

The self-proclaimed “innovator” had been running as an independent candidate for mayor of Zenica, the fourth-largest city in Bosnia with a predominantly Muslim population, in the October 7 ballot.

The innovative marketing?

The election commission removed him from the race last week over pornographic material accessible on his campaign web page.

Porn!

After each question visitors to his web page posed about local election issues, they were allowed to proceed to links with pornographic content, which had to be removed after the commission’s decision.

Hadziahmetovic appealed against what he said was a “shameful decision” to Bosnia’s state court this week and voiced confidence that it would be overturned.

Add “eternal optimist” to “market expert” and “innovator.”

Unless he is re-instated as a candidate, he will file a suit to the Strasbourg-based European Court of Human Rights, he said.

In an open letter asking for support from Western ambassadors in Bosnia, Hadziahmetovic said he only wanted to turn Zenica into a Hollywood instead of a Tehran.

“I know boys and girls in my country want to make love freely, have fun and enjoy life. They all dream of Hollywood, not Tehran,” he wrote, refering to Zenica’s current mayor, who comes from a Bosnian Muslim party with post-war links to Iran.

You’ll find the source here.

Squeezed on:

cat%20funny.jpg

No way you love your cat as much as this woman. Or maybe you just love your husband more than she does. As reported by www.khou.com (Houston, Texas):

Deputies said [Audrey Deen] Miller [42] and her husband were arguing at their home in the 6700 block of Seaton Valley Drive around 7:30 a.m. when he threatened to shoot her cat with a pellet gun.

Big, big mistake.

Miller, an animal lover with several cats and dogs, pulled out a .40-caliber semiautomatic handgun and shot her husband in the stomach.

Hmm. She brought a real gun to a pellet gun fight. Guess who won?

“The husband was trying to do something to the cat and the wife was just trying to protect her cat,” said Assistant Chief Mark Herman, Precinct 4.

“Just trying to protect her cat”? By possibly killing her husband?

Miller was arrested at the scene [and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon] and her husband was transported to Ben Taub Hospital in stable condition. He returned home from the hospital later Tuesday afternoon, clad in a hospital gown and without keys to get inside.

In case you’re wondering about the cat (in addition to what life in that house is going to be like!):

The cat was not harmed.

Here’s the source, including Ms. Miller’s mug shot.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

In Readington Township, New Jersey, a 59-year-old man actually went to his 88-year-old mom’s senior center residence – apparently drunk – and got into it with her. So what did she do? She put the hurt on him! Per the Hunterdon County Democrat:

An incident between a mother and her son brought police to the Mirota Senior Residence on Van Horn Road on Friday. Police were called around 8:30 a.m.; they gave the following account of the incident.

An 88-year-old woman and her 59-year-old son got into an argument and then the mother assaulted the son, causing visible injuries to his face. The son appeared to be intoxicated and was being loud and disturbing other residents at the complex.

The son was arrested for harassment and disorderly conduct and was released after being detained for several hours.

The mother was also arrested and charged with simple assault. She was released after being served with a summons.

Both were offered various forms of assistance provided by the county, but they both declined.

Who needs assistance? Everything is totally under control …

Squeezed on:

strange%20day.jpg

The Juice has had his share of strange days, but nothing even close – fortunately – to this Utah man’s very strange day. As reported by The Deseret News (Utah):

Cottonwood Heights Police responded around 6:30 a.m. Saturday to reports of a man with a gun at a hotel, which police later determined were unfounded.

During the investigation, 38-year-old Wesley Glenn Velasco began acting strangely and was asked to leave the hotel. Police found drug paraphernalia in Velasco’s room.

Saturday afternoon, Velasco was treated for drug use at the Salt Lake International Airport, and left with paramedics to be transported to the hospital. En route, Velasco assaulted two paramedics and jumped out the back of the ambulance near 2700 South and Bangerter Highway in West Valley City.

Not cool.

Just after 1 p.m. West Valley Police officers made contact with Velasco near the Stonebridge Golf Course, who was nervous and acting strange. According to West Valley Police, Velasco told officers he had used drugs earlier, and after he tried to fight them, an officer deployed a stun gun to no effect. Velasco then ran to the police cruiser, which he used to flee the scene.

It’s never a good sign when the stun gun has no effect.

Police chased Velasco to 4100 South and Redwood Road, where they called off the chase due to his reckless driving and alerted nearby agencies.

Good call.

Using tracking technology, a Cottonwood Heights police officer saw the vehicle behind a strip mall on 3100 East and Big Cottonwood Canyon Road around 2:10 p.m. and Velasco fleeing on foot.

From there, the officer pursued him on foot around a retention pond, over a wall, and to a UDOT parking lot at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon, where he surrendered to Cottonwood Heights Police.

After all that, you just surrendered? Well, sort of.

Cottonwood Heights Police Department Sgt. Mark Askerlund said that Velasco complained of some pain after his arrest, but they were unable to determine the cause.

While being transported in a patrol vehicle to the Salt Lake County Jail, Velasco again attempted to escape, this time by trying to kick through the vehicle’s back window.

What a day.

Police said drugs were involved in the man’s behavior. He was booked for investigation of aggravated robbery, fleeing, assault on a health care provider, assault on a police officer, damage to a jail and criminal mischief.

Here’s the source.

Posted in: Odd Cases
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

Landlord%20hey%20bad%20funny%20evil.jpg

Certainly it’s natural to want to maximize one’s real estate investment. But we are still, for the most part, a nation of laws. San Francisco landlords Kip and Nicole Macy apparently didn’t care much about the law. They were trying to clear out a 6-unit building they bought in San Francisco. As reported in The San Francisco Chronicle:

When one of the tenants, Scott Morrow, successfully fought eviction, the couple allegedly told workers in September 2006 to cut the beams that supported his apartment’s floor. They also shut off Morrow’s electricity, cut his phone line and had workers saw a hole in his living room floor from below, prosecutors said. Morrow has since sued the Macys.

That’s not all. Two other tenants paid reduced rents because they thought the Macys were charging them more than they were legally allowed to under the city’s rent control laws. I think it goes without saying that the Macys did not take kindly to this.

Prosecutors said the Macys broke into the tenants’ apartment last June and stole $2,000 in cash, a Gucci watch and a cell phone. The tenants, Erik Hernandez and Jason Lopez, later filed a lawsuit accusing the Macys of first changing the locks on the apartment, then illegally entering their unit and dismantling some of their furniture.

When Hernandez came home and confronted Kip Macy as the landlord was ransacking his apartment, Macy kicked him in the chest, the suit says. Threatening notes then started appearing at the tenants’ door, and the water was shut off after the Macys stopped paying the bill, the suit says.

In October, Nicole Macy broke into the apartment and poured ammonia on clothes, bedding and home electronics, prosecutors said.

What became of the Macys? They were “arrested … and charged with felony stalking, felony residential burglary, conspiracy and other counts … They posted bail after their arrest.” To read more, click here.

Update! It looks like they fled the country! Read all about it here.

Squeezed on:

Burger%20King%20Mask%20Costume%20Mascot.png

He’s The King! Stop hassling him! As reported by The Rome News-Tribune (Rome, Georgia):

Rome Police were called to the [McDonald’s] restaurant at 2215 Shorter Ave. at approximately 1 p.m. by a manager in reference to a suspicious person.

When they arrived, the manager said that a man dressed as the mascot for Burger King entered the restaurant with bags of hamburgers and began handing them out to several customers.

But The King wasn’t quite done.

He danced while inside the restaurant and stopped to take pictures with children. The report states that one child took a picture with him and ran away as he appeared to be scared.

When the manager approached the man he said he was collecting for children’s charities. She noted that he had not collected any money during his time inside the restaurant.

Peasant! Don’t bother The King with petty details.

The subject then got into a white Acura. The manager saw him take off his mask and he appeared to be a middle age white male with dark hair.

Here’s the source.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

money%20lots%20pile%20benjamins%20hundred%20dollar%20bills.jpg

You did not just pull a gun on the clerk for that amount of money. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

A Cook County judge set bail at $50,000 today for a man charged with displaying a handgun to a convenience store clerk who refused to give him 99 cents.

According to court records, Christopher Tisley, 34, walked into a convenience store in the 2800 block of West Lawrence Avenue in the Ravenswood neighborhood around 3 a.m. Saturday and demanded the money. When the clerk refused, he displayed a gun.

Tisley, of the 5800 block of South Morgan Street, exited the store after a customer walked in, allowing the clerk to lock the door. Tisley then returned and repeatedly pounded on the windows of the store, court records state.

He returned to the store! But not for long …

Police were notified and arrested Tisley a block away. The gun Tisley allegedly displayed was not recovered, but prosecutors say police found 3 grams of methamphetamine in his possession.

Tisley is charged with aggravated assault and possession of a controlled substance.

Here’s the source.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

police%20station.jpg

It’s not that unusual for someone to walk into a police station seeking information. The question that this gentleman asked, though, was quite unusual. As reported by The Beacon-News (Aurora, Illinois):

An Aurora man who has been convicted of at least 14 crimes and traffic violations over the past 11 years was being held Tuesday in the DuPage County Jail after going to the Lisle police station to ask whether there were any warrants out for his arrest.

Dustin A. Nelson, 28, of the 400 block of South Fourth Street, was being held on $24,000 bail, Lisle Police Watch Cmdr. Ron Wilke said.

What what what? [Turn volume on – Funnier for South Park.]

Nelson went to the police station on Monday “to inquire if there were any active arrest warrants for him,” Wilke said Tuesday in a release. He was told two warrants had been issued stemming from an incident the night of Sept. 3 in the 4400 block of Blackhawk Lane in Lisle, Wilke said.

The warrants were for assault, failure to report striking an unattended vehicle, improper backing and disorderly conduct.

He’s not exactly a hardened criminal, though he has developed a body of work…

DuPage County court records show that since 2001, Nelson has been convicted of at least 14 crimes and traffic offenses. He served jail sentences in October 2002, March 2005 and May 2006, after being found guilty of shoplifting in Naperville, Elmhurst and Villa Park, respectively, court records indicate.

Here’s the source.