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You may be wondering: “Can you break that?” Unfortunately for Mr. Doe, the answer is “yes.” And yes, it gave rise (sorry) to a lawsuit. The case, out of Massachusetts, is John Doe v. Mary Doe.

Facts. The summary judgment record, viewed in the light most favorable to the plaintiff, Coveney v. President & Trustees of the College of the Holy Cross, 388 Mass. 16 , 17 (1983), establishes the following facts. The plaintiff and the defendant were in a long-term committed relationship. Early in the morning of September 24, 1994, they were engaged in consensual sexual intercourse. The plaintiff was lying on his back while the defendant was on top of him. The defendant’s body was secured in this position by the interlocking of her legs and the plaintiff’s legs. At some point, the defendant unilaterally decided to unlock her legs and place her feet on either side of the plaintiff’s abdomen for the purpose of increasing her stimulation. When the defendant changed her position, she did not think about the possibility of injury to the plaintiff. Shortly after taking this new position, the defendant landed awkwardly on the plaintiff, thereby causing him to suffer a penile fracture.

Yeowwwwwwwwwwww! So, did Mr. Doe make the case that Ms. Doe negligently broke his, well, you know? Nope. You can read the opinion here.

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Craigslist is a great resource. However, as has been demonstrated all too often, it’s susceptible to abuse by all kinds of strange and bad folks. As reported by The Union Leader:

A Hooksett man with a history of faking a brain injury to get home care workers to change his diaper has been indicted for his latest alleged ruse in Hampton.

Eric Carrier, 24, is facing a single count of attempted indecent exposure and lewdness for his encounter with a home care worker in Hampton on Sept 12. A Rockingham County grand jury handed up the charge while deliberating earlier this month in superior court, according to an indictment made public this week.

Carrier allegedly responded to an advertisement the woman posted on the website craigslist.org, claiming he was a 22-year-old disabled man. When the two met in Hampton, Carrier claimed he needed help changing his soiled diaper in an attempt to expose himself to the woman, police said.

As for the other charges …

Carrier was charged last year by Hooksett police with indecent exposure for soliciting five other women by posing as a disabled person on Craigslist, according to police. He was convicted of indecent exposure on July 30, police said.

Court documents suggest that Carrier may already be negotiating a plea deal following his latest arrest. A conviction in his latest case could land him in state prison for up to 3½ to seven years. It’s unclear whether he may face additional punishment for a subsequent conviction.

Hampton police say Carrier claimed he could not control his bowel movements due to a brain injury. A 30-year-old Nashua woman who met Carrier on Sept. 12 grew suspicious of his behavior and later notified police, according to a court complaint.

Hooksett police said they received reports from several other women during their investigation last year, but could not go forward with those cases because they were beyond the statute of limitations. Carrier will be arraigned on his latest charge in Rockingham County Superior Court on Jan. 31.

Looks like he’ll be out of commission for a while. Here’s the source, including a photo.

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So what kind of DUI was it? Per the Beaver County Times (Pennsylvania):

An Ohioville police report said a 911 call came in at 1:40 p.m. Thursday for an “out-of-control male” in the 6000 block of Tuscawaras Road.

Hmm. Seems pretty average so far.

On the way to the location, the officer spotted Mark Grove, 44, of 146 Valleyview Drive driving a lawn tractor down the middle of the road, the report said.

Go on …

Grove smelled of alcohol, was slurring his words and was nearly unintelligible, the report said. There was also a coffee mug sitting on the tractor that was leaking beer, the report said. Grove told the officer, “I’m drunk. Just take me home,” the report said.

Once in the patrol car, Grove tried to kick out the window of the car and then kicked the officer three times, the report said. Grove then threatened to “tear up the hospital” and head-butted the partition between the front and rear seats of the patrol car, the report said.

Now you’re really not getting that ride home.

At the hospital, Grove refused to take a blood-alcohol test or sign any forms, the report said. Once back at the police station, Grove attempted to escape from police custody and damaged a bench and the floor of the station, the report said.

As Mr. Sulu would say “oh my.”

Grove is charged with drunken driving, aggravated assault, criminal mischief, institutional vandalism, resisting arrest, escape, disorderly conduct, driving under suspension, habitual offender for driving under suspension and disregard for traffic lanes.

Here’s the source.

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Ah roommates. If you’ve ever had a roommate, and you say you’ve never had an argument, you’re lying. Still, a knife? As reported in The Brooklyn Paper:

The victim told police that he knocked on his roommate’s door at their apartment between Norman and Nassau avenues at 12:30 am and asked him to lower the volume of his tunes.

Seems like a reasonable request.

The two then started to fight …

Uh oh.

… at which point the housemate grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed the victim in hand, and then punched him in the head and face, cops said. The victim suffered a deep cut on his hand and bleeding and swelling to his face and was taken to Woodhull Hospital.

It wasn’t enough to stab him?

Police say that when they arrived at the house, they found the knife in the kitchen sink.

Hey, at least he’s not a slob too. The charge: assault. “Wanted: Quiet, considerate, non-knife-wielding roommate.”

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When a drug deal goes south, doesn’t everyone head to the police station? Well, that depends. In this case, it sure looks like the right call. Per the website of The City of Tampa, Florida:

Milton Coley and Louis Xavier Ruiz-Machado arranged to meet at 109th Avenue and Lantana Avenue to conduct a drug deal around 12:40pm on 1/11/13. Coley walked up to Ruiz-Machado who was driving a 2003 Dodge Ram pick-up truck. Ruiz-Machado handed over the marijuana, but Coley refused to pay. Ruiz-Machado fired a shot and Coley fled on foot. He then called a friend to pick him up. As Coley got into his friend’s Nissan Altima in the 2200 block of Bougainvillea Avenue, Ruiz-Machado began chasing them in his pick-up truck. The friend feared for his safety and drove to the Tampa Police Department’s District 2 Office for help.

The pick-up truck chased them twice through the parking lot at a high rate of speed. Ruiz-Machado fired at least one shot and then fled as officers exited the district office with guns drawn. A short time later, officers boxed in Ruiz-Machado on the University of South Florida campus at Bull Run Drive and Elm Drive. USF Police, Florida Highway Patrol and the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office helped detain the suspect. They recovered a 9 mm inside the vehicle. At District 2, witnesses saw Coley throw two large baggies with 59 grams of marijuana into the parking lot. He was charged with possession of marijuana. His friend who was driving did not face charges. Officers recovered one 9 mm shell casing in the parking lot.

Yikes. Here’s the press release.

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If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

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Sometimes “fans” truly are “fanatics.” Something happened during the Falcons-Seahawks game this weekend that set a strange chain of events in motion. Per tcpalm.com:

According to an arrest affidavit, the family was watching the game when the 56-year-old Crawford made rude comments about an unidentified player. That led to a family argument and his threatening other people in the house. The argument continued outside where, according to the affidavit, he was quoted as saying he was going to kill everyone “by breaking their necks and spitting on their grave.

Whoa there buddy. How do you get from comments about a player to spitting, er, mass murder?

He allegedly spit on someone just before police arrived and arrested him [for domestic battery] at 2:45 p.m. at the home in the 1300 block of Southeast Floresta Drive.

Thank goodness he just did the spitting part.

On Monday he remained in jail under a $1,500 bail bond.

Click here for the source.

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With everything that’s available on the internet, legally, do you really need to do this to people? This is just creepy. As reported in The Kennebec Journal (Maine):

The arrest [of William Tibbals, 31, of Pepperal Street] followed a long investigation triggered by reports by customers that a man with a camera in his shoe was capturing images up women’s skirts, said Scarborough Police Detectives.

Can you believe people noticed a guy with a camera in his shoe, hovering around females with skirts? Who would have guessed that? The charges?

… a felony count of visual sexual aggression against a child under 12 and multiple counts of violating privacy.

Tibbals is being held at the Cumberland County Jail. 

You’ll find the source here, including a mug shot.

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Question: How petty was it? Answer: a sticky bun! As reported by WPTV:

A Florida man was arrested by police Monday after allegedly stealing a sticky bun from Walgreens, according to a Boynton Beach Police Dept. report.

Police say James Gomperts fled from police and then crashed his bicycle into a patrol car.

No! A fellow cyclist!

Gomperts was later taken to the Palm Beach County Jail where he was charged with the theft of the bun and resisting officers.

 

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Who burgles a joint and leaves a perfectly good laptop behind? And in case you’re wondering, it was out in the open, as you will soon see. As reported by tcpalm.com:

In a case police are calling unique, a homeowner used his laptop computer video camera to capture a photo of a suspect breaking into his home.

Boom!

The homeowner left the computer on while he was gone. The footage led to the arrest of a friend, a 28-year-old man the homeowner has known since they were roommates in college, according to a sheriff’s report.

Former “friend,” that is.

Normally, investigators end up with just footprints or fingerprints and are left wondering if those prints are linked to a crime. This time, they had a visual recording of the incident and the homeowner’s identification of the person led to the arrest of Eric Rayburn, 28, of the 1900 block of Southeast Bellevue Avenue, Port St. Lucie.

Rayburn voluntarily came in for questioning and deputies quoted him as saying he goes to the house all the time and was dropping by to talk.

Bet the cops enjoyed this next bit.

Then investigators showed him the camera recording.

Bam!

Rayburn, who said he works in medical supplies, told investigators he was delivering a Federal Express package. Investigators challenged that, saying there was no package in his hand in the video that was running at 8:30 a.m. on Dec. 27, 2012.

Then he asked to talk to an attorney and stopped talking with deputies.

He is charged with burglary of a dwelling [a cash box was reported missing] and second degree theft.

Here’s the source.