Squeezed on:

driving road

How about this explanation given by a man arrested for exposing himself while driving? As reported by The Kitsap Sun (Washington):

A 24-year-old Bremerton man arrested Wednesday for indecent exposure told a State Patrol trooper he was driving his car while not wearing pants because he recently received a body wax.

The “Manzilian,” or Brazilian for men, resulted in his jeans irritating his skin, he told the trooper, so he had been driving in his underwear.

A witness told investigators she had seen the man exposing himself and sticking out his tongue while driving on Highway 16 near the Tremont Street overpass, and had been doing so “since Gig Harbor,” according to court documents.

The man was booked into Kitsap County Jail and held on $5,000 bail.

Are you buying it? Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

oops.jpg

There comes a time in every thief’s life … Okay, so a lot of thieves won’t just come clean. But seriously dude – cut a deal. Next time you’ll turn the iPad off, or at least its location services. As reported by The Canberra Times (Australia):

A court has been asked to decide whether a man trying to find his allegedly stolen iPad was acting unlawfully when he tracked it down to a north Canberra townhouse using Apple’s anti-theft app and a GPS.

Police, acting on the man’s information, allegedly discovered the iPad and a cache of stolen items at the Forde house where 49-year-old Alden Harder lived.

Don’t draw any comparisons to “the decider,” but The Juice would not even take this under advisement. What’s the “lame defense” referenced in the post’s title?

Mr Harder’s lawyer has argued the man physically trespassed on his client’s property while searching for the iPad and had also committed ”trespass via radio wave” when he activated an alarm on the device while it was inside Mr Harder’s house.

Mr Harder has not been charged with any offence.

Yet.

On Monday, police applied to the ACT Magistrates Court for a forensic procedures order, asking for the man to submit to fingerprinting.

Mr Harder is fighting the order.

Police allege the iPad was stolen from a house that was under construction in Braddon on May 24 but the theft wasn’t reported until three days later.

They say the owner used Apple’s in-built Find My iPad service and his GPS to track down the iPad to Mr Harder’s townhouse in Forde on May 25. He walked around the property and looked in a window.

Find My iPad allows users to remotely track their missing or stolen iPad via GPS and to send messages, trigger an alarm or wipe their device.

It should be noted that THIS DOES NOT WORK IF THE LOCATION SERVICES ARE DISABLED OR THE DEVICE IS OFF.

The man went to police with the information but was apparently unable to elicit action.

The court heard the man went back to the townhouse a second time on May 29 and used the app to remotely trigger the alarm on the iPad, which he then heard ringing inside the garage.

Police then obtained a search warrant for Mr Harder’s house.

They allegedly discovered the iPad and a haul of other items, including laptops and a police officer’s badge, which were said to have been stolen from as far back as 2009.

Jackpot!

The court heard police wanted to take Mr Harder’s fingerprints to see if they matched prints taken from the scene of the iPad theft and another burglary.

But Mr Harder’s lawyer Paul Edmonds argued the search was based on evidence which was obtained unlawfully because the man trespassed on his client’s property while walking round the townhouse.

Blah, blah, blah. The Juice is with the prosecutor on this one.

But prosecutor Keegan Lee dismissed that argument as ”an absurd expansion of the definition of a trespass”.

Mr Lee said if electronic transmission were a trespass then ”I would safely say nearly everybody in this courtroom has committed that act by having a wireless router” that transmitted Wi-Fi internet through their homes and into their neighbours’ property.

Boom! Here’s the source. (The Magistrate later ruled that their was no electronic trespass.)

Squeezed on:

parking garage lot

Maybe you’ve left your car in a lot overnight, figuring you would just eat the charge and move on. You won’t believe how long this woman left her car in a parking lot. As reported by local.de:

A woman who left her car in a parking lot for nine years escaped with a fine of €7,000 (about $9,000 US), instead of the nearly €70,000 (about $90,000 US) she would owe if she had been charged the standard €20 ($26 US) per day, it was reported this week.

Nine years? Two questions: Why? and Why? As to the second question:

The car park operator appears to have made a conscious decision to hold out on issuing the fine. “The lady isn’t insolvent. She has a job and money,” managing director of the Bavaria Parkgaragen company Claus Schnell said, by way of an explanation for not taking action sooner.

While Schnell acknowledged that it was unusual for a person not to collect their car, he said “such cases occur from time to time.” His operating company oversees 22 garages with a total of 12,226 parking spots.

Okay, as for the first question – why would she leave her car there for 9 years? – don’t know! Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

steam whistle

Please keep in mind that this is the same town, Kure Beach, North Carolina, that outlawed thong bathing suits. Anyway, way back when (way pre-thong), folks must have been going crazy with their steam whistles.  Why would the Juice hazard this guess? This is from the Kure Beach nuisance laws:

Sec. 11-31. Certain noises prohibited.

(a) The creation and continuation of any loud, disturbing and unnecessary noises in the town is hereby prohibited…

(b) The following acts, among others, are declared to be loud, disturbing, annoying and unnecessary noises in violation of this section …

(5)  Blowing whistles. The blowing of any steam whistle attached to any stationary boiler, except to give notice of the time to begin or stop work or as a warning of danger.

Yeah, that must happen all the time.  Good thing there’s a law protecting the citizenry. Here’s the source. (Click on Chapter 11, then Article III.)

Squeezed on:

Subway Station in Munich

Was this gent sleeping or passed out? You make the call. As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter for the 88th Precinct (Fort Greene–Clinton Hill):

The 46-year-old said he boarded the Brooklyn-bound train at Grand Central Station at 5 am. He told cops he was intoxicated and fell asleep shortly after boarding, and when he woke up the train had reached the end of the line at New Lots Avenue and turned around, according to a police report.

As he exited the train at Nevins Street, he discovered that his rear pocket had been cut and his wallet removed, the report says. The guy was out $350 cash, plus debit and credit cards, he said.

So, he was only awakened when the train got to the end of the line. And the thief was able to cut his pants and take his wallet unnoticed. The Juice is going with “passed out.”

 

Squeezed on:

kayak

If you were to consider various means of escaping the country, there’s no way you would even include a kayak on your list. Well, it worked for this gent. As reported by The Hunterdon County [New Jersey] Democrat:

Steven Pieczynski, 38, who also once lived in Lambertville, was convicted by a jury in a trial conducted by Superior Court Judge Stephen B. Rubin in March. Assistant Prosecutor Anthony Anastasio presented the case.

But he wasn’t jailed pending sentencing. And there was a kayak, and …

Pieczynski entered Canada illegally on Sept. 29, 2012, “using a kayak, launched from Lewiston, N.Y., on the Lower Niagara River,” the prosecutor said. After crossing the river, he made his way to the Toronto area.

You already know it didn’t last.

Detectives eventually tracked down Pieczynski, and on Oct. 23, 2012, members of the Toronto Police Service Fugitive Squad, the Integrated Border Enforcement Team (IBET), the Ontario Provincial Police, and the Canada Border Services Agency arrested him at the home of a woman he met on the Internet, Kearns said. He was extradited back to the United States.

Bam! And he was just sentenced to 4 years for skipping out. But that’s not all.

Pieczynski still faces sentencing on the original burglary and theft conviction.

You’ll find the source here, including a mug shot.

 

Squeezed on:

waiting%20in%20line.jpg

Nothing will resolve the disagreement between those who believe concealed carry laws are a good thing, and those who think they are idiotic. Though we can’t know with certainty, Mr. Randall White is probably in the latter group. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

Police said the incident unfolded about 4 p.m. inside the Little Caesars, 3463 Fourth St. N, after Randall White, 49, got mad about his service.
White said he got mad because his thin-crust vegetable pie was taking longer than the 10 minutes he was promised. “Twenty minutes later, I’m like, ‘Where’s my pizza?’ ” White said.

That did not go down well with another patron.

Another man in line, Michael Jock, 52, of St. Petersburg admonished White. That “prompted them to exchange words and it became a shoving match,” said police spokesman Mike Puetz.
White raised a fist. Jock, a concealed-weapons permit holder, pulled out a .38 Taurus Ultralight Special Revolver.

Wo there. You’re pulling a gun over an argument – that you started – in a take-out line in a restaurant? Um, yeah.

He fired one round, hitting White in the lower torso. The men grappled and the gun fired again, hitting White in roughly the same spot, police said.
Well, that solved everything… And what exactly did the shooter tell the cops?

After the shooting, both men went outside and waited for police. Jock told officers the shooting was justified under “stand your ground,” Puetz said.
“He felt he was in his rights,” Puetz said. “He brought it up specifically and cited it to the officer.”

Seriously, that’s what he said.

He told officers he feared for his life. He mentioned that he thought White had an object in his hand, then backed off that when officers pressed him. Florida’s “stand your ground law” says people are not required to retreat before using deadly force.
What did the police think?

“We determined it did not reach a level where deadly force was required,” Puetz said.
Police arrested Jock on charges of aggravated battery with a weapon and shooting within a building. He was released from jail on $20,000 bail.

Said the victim:

White was treated at Bayfront Medical Center and released. Reached by phone Monday night, he said he felt lucky to be alive. He was also angry.
“There are arguments every day, but how many people pull out a gun? When you pull a gun out and shoot somebody, your life better be in danger,” White said. “He was in my face and I pushed him. His life was not being threatened.”

White said he still has a bullet fragment in his back.

“I got lucky,” he said. “To me, that stand your ground rule … people are twisting it. He’s twisting it. I walked in to get a pizza and I got shot … I’m hoping the law prevails. We’ll see.”

You’ll find the source here.

Squeezed on:

movie screen theatre

It’s probably not a good sign when a prison is showing a movie before it’s released to DVD.  As reported by the Northeast Ohio Media Group via cleveland.com:

The Lorain County Correctional Institution acknowledged Friday that pirated movies are being shown to prisoners there, even as inmates serve time for illegally downloading movies.

Yikes.

Richard Humphrey, 26, of North Ridgeville was sent to the Lorain County prison in February for a parole violation and remained there until May 6. According to posts on the sites torrentfreak.com and scrolldog.com, while he was a prisoner guards showed inmates “Ride Along” and “The Wolf of Wall Street” before they were released on DVD.

A spokesperson for Lorain County Correctional Institution Warden Kimberly Clipper said prison officials are aware that pirated movies are being shown to prisoners and the issue is being investigated. But she said she couldn’t comment further because the investigation is ongoing.

The Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction said Friday that it is looking into pirated movies being screened at the Grafton prison, but a spokesperson said she couldn’t comment on an ongoing investigation.

And just in case the DVD release date wasn’t enough …

In some cases, Humphrey said the movies appeared to have been illegally recorded by theater-goers.

“You could see people walking in front of the camera,” he said.

Doh!  You can read a fair amount more here.

Squeezed on:

can beer soda

No, The Juice is not referring to Mayor Rob Ford.  There’s a very reasonable explanation as to why this Mayor is legally prohibited from drinking. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

Kelvin Green, 18, will soon become the mayor of Archer City, Texas.

No one filed to run for the city’s open mayoral position, so he ran unopposed. He’ll be the town’s youngest mayor since it was founded in 1888. His friends and teachers say they’re not surprised he volunteered, and he’ll be perfect for the job.

“I really think he’s going to do an outstanding job, and it’s exciting to see somebody his age step up,” said Jeff Pirkle, Green’s economics teacher.

“It’s really crazy, actually, but I should have seen it coming because if he sets his mind to something, he’s going to do it,” said Tyler Scrogum, Green’s friend.

You’ll find the source here.