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So maybe it’s not CSI, but it’s damn impressive nevertheless. As reported by www.big1059.com out of Miami,Florida:

An Akron man who pleaded guilty to aggravated burglary and robbery will spend six years in prison. 40-year-old Charles Smallwood was also sentenced to an additional four years on two other pending cases for a total ten year sentence.

About the duct tape …

The victim, who was 91-years-old at the time of the offense, was awakened around 2:30 a.m. on August 5 when two men broke into his house. The burglars put duct tape on one of the windows so there would not be noise when they broke in.

The burglars went to the victim’s bedroom and pushed him around demanding money. The victim began to yell, at which point they found some money in the pants he had worn that day. They took off before police got there.

The victim could not identify the suspects, so DNA was taken from the duct tape on the window. There was a hit on Smallwood and a swab was obtained. His DNA matched the DNA on the duct tape.

Bam! Nicely done, officers.

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Why would a German company have a party for its top salesmen in Budapest, Hungary? Could it be because prostitution is legal in Hungary? Hmmm. As reported by the BBC:

Munich Re is the world’s biggest re-insurer – in other words, the company acts as an insurance company for other insurance companies. One of its divisions, Ergo, told the BBC that the party had taken place to reward salesmen in 2007.

The gathering was held at a thermal baths in the Hungarian capital Budapest as a reward to particularly successful salesmen.

Oh, and you might not want to bring your wives …

There were about 100 guests and 20 prostitutes were hired.

A German business newspaper said the prostitutes had worn colour-coded arm-bands designating their availability, and the women had their arms stamped after each service rendered.

Wonder what those stamps look like …

According to [the newspaper] Handelsblatt, quoting an unnamed participant, guests were able to take the women to four-poster beds at the spa “and do whatever they liked”.

“There were also women with white wrist bands. They were reserved for board members and the very best sales reps.”

What did the company have to say about the party?

A spokesman for Ergo told the BBC that the party had happened, but said it was not the usual way of rewarding their employees.

This will not help in recruiting salesmen. Perhaps “no comment” would have been better … Here’s the source.

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Better lucky than good? Hell yeah! And nobody knows it better than this Wisconsin driver. As reported by The Green Bay Press-Gazette:

According to the police report:

 [Nichole] Lavin was traveling northbound on Memorial Drive at a high rate of speed and swerving in and out of traffic when she lost control of her car.


Witnesses said her vehicle struck the median, went airborne, crossed the southbound lane and then rolled four times before landing in the front yard of a home in the 3600 block of Memorial Drive. 

Damn! But wait. Then …

Lavin was thrown from the car, likely through a back window that was already broken, flew through the branches of a pine tree and landed on the garage roof of the home. 

On the garage roof, out cold … What? Not out cold?

Lavin climbed off the roof, with help from bystanders, and tried walking away from the scene.

Clearly this woman needs to capitalize on her superpowers. Or play the lottery. Who walks away from all that? And you’ll be shocked to hear that …

Alcohol was a factor in the accident.

Here’s the source.

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So maybe watching TV isn’t the most social activity. Nevertheless, it’s still more enjoyable to watch TV with someone else, right? Well, what if the “someone else” is a complete stranger, who walked in off the street? As reported by The Arab Times:

In a bizarre incident, an unidentified person took the liberty to enter the house of a Kuwaiti man and switch on the TV in the sitting room, reports Al-Rai daily.

According to reports this happened when the Kuwaiti with his wife was sitting in the first floor balcony of his apartment and he heard the TV sound coming from the sitting room below.

When he went down the stairs to check he found a stranger watching the TV. When the Kuwaiti approached him the intruder did not even make an attempt to escape rather he agreed to go to a police station.


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Remember, The Juice said this was “a solution” not a good one. The solution? Grab your 22 and shoot the dog. That’s just what a town councilman in Utah did. Yikes. As reported by The Salt Lake Tribune:

Rick E. Wilberg, 58, was arrested after he admitted to killing his neighbor’s dog [a 9-month-old teacup chihuahua!] with a .22-caliber rifle. The dog, named Rocky, belonged to Peggy Redmiles, whose three-quarter acre lot shares a fence line with Wilberg’s property.

Police reported that children had been playing nearby when Wilberg shot the dog. When police spoke with Wilberg, he admitted to shooting the dog, saying “he had been sick of listening to the dog bark and warned her and she done nothing about the dog so he shot the dog,” the police report states. He also had been drinking vodka.

He warned her! And she did nothing! This does not strike The Juice as a very good defense. (Mind you, The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer.) As you might have guessed, Mr. Wilberg had other problems with his neighbor.

Redmiles, who moved into their home six years ago, describes her relationship with Wilberg becoming contentious about three years ago, for reasons she still doesn’t understand. She said that he complained about her chicken coop, over-watering her garden and the noises her swimming pool made. She said she has since gotten rid of the chickens and garden, and turns the pool off at night to try to keep the peace.

The charges?

Wilberg was booked into the Duchesne County Jail on suspicion of animal cruelty, a third-degree felony, and for public intoxication.

Here’s the source.

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So you’re drunk, and you’re driving a car. The cops pull you over. Yet they don’t charge you with drunk driving. In fact, they can’t. If it sounds like a riddle, the answer is: the drunk driver was a 9-year-old boy! As reported by The Sun:

The lad was breathalysed by police and taken into custody after they spotted him behind the wheel in Cumbria.

But they were forced to let him back on the streets as his age meant he was not old enough to be held accountable for his actions.

The child, who has not been named, was among thousands of under 18s arrested in the north of England over the past two years.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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gay%20flag%20huge%20sign%20rainbow%20large%20homosexual.gifNo doubt Ponce de Leon High School (Florida) Principal David Davis would deny it’s hatin’. Decide for yourself. As reported by the Student Press Law Center:

The lawsuit, filed Thursday [by a junior at the school], alleges that Principal David Davis told several students who were wearing rainbow belts and shirts and writing pro-gay expressions on their hands that supporting gay and lesbian rights was impermissible at the school. Davis suspended several of the students, leading junior Heather Gillman to question what expressions the school board prohibits.

Benjamin James Stevenson, a Florida ACLU attorney representing Gillman, sent a letter to the school board asking for guidance on what was regarded as permissible speech. The letter included 16 examples of phrases, symbols and images, such as “I Support My Gay Friends,” “GP [Gay Pride]” and “Pro-Gay Marriage,” and asked which if any of the symbols or phrases students could wear at school.

Brandon J. Young, an attorney for the school board, replied in a Nov. 12 letter that none of the symbols or phrases would be allowed. The letter said that, although the school board does not restrict pro-gay or anti-gay expression as such, school policy bars students from wearing anything “that may reasonably disrupt and interfere with the educational process of that student or other students.”

No! No! Not …. the rainbow! We’re doomed! So how much loot is the student asking for? A dollar.

The complaint asks the court for an injunction to prohibit school officials from suppressing students’ First Amendment rights. Among other things, the suit also asks for $1 in nominal damages, attorney fees and a declaration that the school violated Gillman’s rights.

To read more (a fair amount) click here.

UPDATE: A federal judge awarded the students’ attorneys $325,000 in fees, finding that the school principal violated the students’ first and fourteenth amendment rights. You can read a lot more here.

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Apparently looking different is a problem in East Cooper, South Carolina. Two teens must have known this when they hatched their plan, which The Juice has dubbed “The Spandex Chronicles.” As reported by The Post and Courier:

Two teens wearing black from head to toe drew suspicion at a local pharmacy about 3 p.m. April 20 and police were called, a report states.

All black? Head for the hills!

On the way to the pharmacy, Mount Pleasant police were told by dispatchers that the boys had left the pharmacy and were walking around the mall parking lot. Dispatchers said the boys were wearing black suits that covered them from head to toe.

Police looked for the boys but couldn’t find them, so they went to the pharmacy that had reported the teens. A woman working there was visibly nervous and told police what the boys looked like, the report says.

We got ourselves a manhunt!

Another officer had found the boys walking near another pharmacy. The teenagers said they bought the spandex black suits from an online website and that they were walking around just looking for attention. They said their parents had dropped them off.

Whew. That was a close one! What did the police do with the boys?

Police told the teenagers about the impression they had made and called their parents to pick them up.

You mean the same parents who dropped them off? Here’s the source.

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If this boy can’t get his candy on, well, there’s gonna be trouble. And there was. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

According to a Niceville (yes, Niceville!) police report, the [13-year-old] boy was told by his mother that he could not have any candy.

Oh shizzle.

The boy told his mother, “(Expletive) you, (expletive)” and refused to go home.

Two of the three quoted words deleted? Not cool, or necessary. Let The Juice attempt to decode it for you. “Fuck you, bitch.” (Deep breath. Another deep breath. There – everyone alright?)

Mom was not hearing any of that. So …

The woman said she attempted to whip the boy with a belt on his rear end, but he turned around and was struck on his arm.

The 13-year-old then turned around and punched his mother.

That oughta get you a battery charge. It did. Any defense there, sonny?

The boy told officers the incident happened because of candy that he wanted to get for someone else and not for himself.

Oh, well in that case …

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To be fair to Cuyahoga Falls City Councilman Jerry James, perhaps this is not his signature legislative initiative. Maybe he’ll tackle the saggy pants problem next. But about the proposed ordinance that will no doubt vault Cuyahoga Falls City to the top of the “best places to live” list, as reported by AkronNewsNow.com:

Cuyahoga Falls City Council will see legislation introduced tonight to control those bird feeders in back yards across the city.

Councilman Jerry James tells AkronNewsNow.com “There’s a lot of seed that comes out on to the bird feeders, and they spill on to the ground, and the seeds that aren’t eaten by the birds decay and then some birds will come and get them, and then they end up getting sick and dying.”

Before you panic, this epic legislation would not ban bird feeders. It would simply regulate them.

James says his proposed ordinance would deal with the maintenance of the bird feeders, making sure that the overflow does not lay down on the ground, decay, and cause a problem.

So it’s a jobs bill! They’ll need at least one bird feeder inspector, right?