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You just have to wonder WTF this Kansas woman was thinking, or drinking, or … As reported by The Wichita Eagle:

Police said the woman reportedly pulled into the driveway of a house in the 5000 block of West Douglas at about 8:20 p.m. Wednesday. She got out, urinated in the yard and then slapped a 3-year-old child in the face a number of times.

She then drove away, pulling into a second yard and then a third, where she ran over a mailbox. The locations were several blocks apart, Capt. Darrell Atteberry said.

The woman was pulled over at a fourth address and taken into custody.

Yikes.

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If you blamed your mom for the severing of your pinky, would you sue her? A contractor in New Jersey did. As reported at NorthJersey.com:

In 2006, John P. Garrity was installing hardwood floors for his mother, Nancy, when the accident occurred, according to court papers. While working with a miter saw in her garage, Nancy came up behind John and tapped him on his right shoulder. In depositions, John Garrity said that when he quickly turned around, his finger slipped into the saw’s path and severed his pinky.

Yikes. The case went to trial. The verdict? $95,500 for Mr. Garrity, plus $18,500 for medical expenses. The actual award was double that, but the jury found that Mr. Garrity was 50% responsible.

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American Airlines Pilot James Yates showed up at the Manchester, England airport for the Manchester- to-Chicago flight. Yes he was a little late, and DRUNK! Almost 8 times the legal limit.

It seems that Mr. Yates had been out drinking with his two co-pilots the night before. He visited at least 4 pubs before returning to his hotel. He then took a sedative around midnight. He was awakened at 9:00 a.m. the next morning by his captain’s banging on the door. But what about that bottle of Irish whiskey he had purchased the day before? One-third of it was gone! Mr. Yates said he had no memory of drinking it.

When he arrived at the airport, Yates could not find his security pass. He smelled strongly of alcohol and had a red face. Hmmmmm. He was charged with carrying out an activity ancillary to an aviation function while over the drink limit.

HIs trial lasted three days. Testifying for Mr. Yates were senior American Airlines executives, and Brigadier General Thomas Botchie, who was a fighter pilot with Mr. Yates. The defense theory was a good one – he never intended to fly. He went to the airport (in full uniform) to tell his captain that he was unable to fly. Did the jury believe him?

You bet your Irish whiskey they did. It took them only 90 minutes to acquit Mr. Yates, who then slapped his colleagues on the back and simply smiled, but did not comment.

To read more about this story, click here.

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Sure, it’s so easy to say – “just keep your eyes on the road.” Some distractions are not that easy to ignore. Such was the case on I-95 in Connecticut, as reported by The Online Hour (Norwalk) Connecticut).

A naked man “yelling that he was Jesus” was the catalyst for a five-vehicle accident on I-95 Northbound near exit 16 early Saturday morning that injured three people, mangled a tandem tractor-trailer truck and slowed traffic to a crawl for nearly six hours, according to Darien Police Sgt. Jeremiah P. Marron Jr.

Marron said Darien Police responded to a call regarding a nude male causing a disturbance on I-95 north at exit 14. When police arrived, they saw the man hop into a silver car. With assistance from Norwalk and State Police, Darien officers were able to pull the car over near exit 16.

Now that has the makings of an interesting traffic court proceeding!

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A young lady (19 years old) in Georgia was busted for passing a stopped school bus. She claims she didn’t see it because her view was blocked by 2 trucks. The judge didn’t buy it, and, per the Atlanta Journal Constitution, sentenced her to …

..write 2,500 times, “I will not dishonor myself by passing a school bus.”

Nancy Nguyen was ordered to write that sentence and pay a $350 fine, perform community service and take a defensive driving course for passing a stopped school bus in Forest Park in March.

So what’s the problem? She won’t write the sentence.

Nguyen refused to write the sentences because, she said, she didn’t intentionally pass the stopped bus; two tractor-trailer trucks blocked her view, she said. She said she would go to jail rather than write the sentences because she did not feel she had dishonored herself.

“I’m not going to demean myself and be demeaned by other people,” Nguyen told WSB-TV last week.

The Juice is without sufficient information to comment on the merits of her decision. This much is clear, though – she’s got guts.

(Prepare to hit “pause” if you want to read these.)

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It’s unlikely you’ll ever read another story like this. An inmate trying to stop guards from fighting? Actually, there’s a simple explanation: the dude liked the guards. As reported by The Buffalo News:

An inmate at the Erie County Correctional Facility lost a tooth last week when he intervened in a fight between two corrections officers scrapping over a bag of chips, prison personnel told The Buffalo News.

A bag of chips?!

[Undersheriff Mark] Wipperman said the disagreement began over “what appears to be the dissemination of food products.” A source familiar with the event said a bag of potato chips somehow sparked the fight. He asked to remain unidentified because he lacks permission to disclose information about the facility.

Wipperman said the inmate told internal investigators that he got involved because he likes both officers and didn’t want them to lose their jobs.

 

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(No, not in the book.) Warning: This post is not suitable for children. And The Juice isn’t just saying that to pique your interest. You will not believe this woman’s hiding place. As reported by The News-Press:

A Pompano Beach woman is in custody at the Lee County Jail for possession of a counterfeit driver’s license and a fraudulent credit card, which she allegedly hid inside her vagina.

Shazam!

According to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, Ann Marie Hernandez,46, was arrested during a traffic stop on Interstate 75 on Friday night when deputies discovered thousands of dollars in items bought with a fraudulent credit card aboard her vehicle.

Members of the Highway Interdiction Unit pulled her vehicle over at about 7 p.m. Upon making contact with the driver, the detective immediately noticed the vehicle was full of high-end power tool equipment, some of which still had security tags attached.

As the investigation unfolded, a detective determined the items were recently purchased at a Cape Coral Home Depot using a fraudulent credit card account.

Home Depot was contacted and Citibank confirmed the fraudulent transactions totaling more than five-thousand dollars. Nearly half of the fraudulent items purchased were recovered during the traffic stop.

Yeah. Yeah. But how do you get from there to …

After a female deputy was called to the scene, Hernandez admitted to concealing a fraudulent credit card and fraudulent Florida driver’s license inside her vagina.

Say what? Having gone to the trouble of concealing the items in this manner, it’s unlikely Ms. Hernandez would have just fessed up. So? For now anyway, it’s a mystery.

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What’s next? Tasing every pulled-over motorist before requesting a license and registration? For god’s sake man, you don’t have to tase someone just because you can! Here’s a ridiculous story out of Cincinnati, as reported by WKRC:

A St. Paris, Ohio man, not even registered in the Flying Pig Marathon, caused quite a commotion at the race Sunday morning.

Not registered? Tase him!

Police say 35-year old Brett Henderson was running down the course completely naked.

Naked? Tase him!

Officers told him several times to stop and get in a police cruiser, but Henderson did not listen.

Not listening? Tase him!

Police took him into custody in front of the Greyhound Bus Station on Gilbert Avenue, after using a taser on him.

The Juice doesn’t know where the offficer aimed the taser, but if he had to guess …

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You hear “police chase,” you think of police cars chasing a car, usually a drunk driver. Not this time. Sure, the police were in cars, but not the “perp.” He was on foot, and naked! And the cops bothered to chase him way too long, as reported by wpxi.com:

Police in Beaver County said a naked man led them on a three-mile foot chase through several communities.

Three miles!

Investigators said the man was first spotted near a busy intersection with a lot of traffic on April 20.

A groundskeeper for a nearby cemetery said he was shocked when he saw the man without any clothes on roaming the streets.

“We were working and I saw out of the corner of my eye this flash go by. I looked and I saw his naked butt go by. I didn’t need to see anymore,” said Mike Zorich.

Zorich said the man ran past him and kept running through Beaver Falls Cemetery. “He went by in a flash and that was the end of it,” Zorich said.

Well, maybe that should have been the end of it. But no way was this naked guy going to getting away with it?!

Police estimate he made it through three townships and ran about three miles completely nude through several wooded areas before they were able to catch up with him.

Investigators said they eventually were able to catch him while he was wading through a creek. Police said they have no idea why he was in the water.

The charges?

Carlos Noel Pena, 24, was charged with open lewdness.

Really? Open lewdness? Truly an excellent use of police resources. Here’s the source.

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Then high-school junior Avery Doninger was ticked off that the battle of the bands (Jamfest) was cancelled. So, at home, on her own blog, she posted an entry stating that

Jamfest is canceled due to the douchebags in central office.

As events unfolded, it turns out her characterization was pretty accurate. Her punishment? She was told to apologize to the school superintendent, show her mom the blog entry, and withdraw her candidacy for Class Secretary (an office she held since entering high school). She agreed to the first two, but would not withdraw from the race. So the school refused to let her run (she would have won as a write-in candidate, but the votes were ignored!), and she filed suit, claiming that the school violated her right to free speech.

The result? She lost! “The content of the blog was related to school issues, and it was reasonably foreseeable that other LMHS students would view the blog and that school administrators would become aware of it,” said U.S. District Court Judge Mark Kravitz. I think her Mom, who was praised on local radio for telling Avery “you’re grounded, and we’re going to federal court to file a civil suit,” has it right. She said:

Punishment is up to me. This erodes the training ground for the democratic process, which must be that you have to distrust democracy occasionally in order to make it work. The embedded lesson of democracy at Lewis S. Mills is hollow. Theirs is an overreaching power to orchestrate.

Here’s hoping the Court of Appeals agrees. Update: The Court of Appeals didn’t, upholding Judge Kravitz’s decision. But wait! Ms. Doninger’s attorney is going to appeal the case to the Supreme Court.