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Remember, The Juice said this was “a solution” not a good one. The solution? Grab your 22 and shoot the dog. That’s just what a town councilman in Utah did. Yikes. As reported by The Salt Lake Tribune:

Rick E. Wilberg, 58, was arrested after he admitted to killing his neighbor’s dog [a 9-month-old teacup chihuahua!] with a .22-caliber rifle. The dog, named Rocky, belonged to Peggy Redmiles, whose three-quarter acre lot shares a fence line with Wilberg’s property.

Police reported that children had been playing nearby when Wilberg shot the dog. When police spoke with Wilberg, he admitted to shooting the dog, saying “he had been sick of listening to the dog bark and warned her and she done nothing about the dog so he shot the dog,” the police report states. He also had been drinking vodka.

He warned her! And she did nothing! This does not strike The Juice as a very good defense. (Mind you, The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer.) As you might have guessed, Mr. Wilberg had other problems with his neighbor.

Redmiles, who moved into their home six years ago, describes her relationship with Wilberg becoming contentious about three years ago, for reasons she still doesn’t understand. She said that he complained about her chicken coop, over-watering her garden and the noises her swimming pool made. She said she has since gotten rid of the chickens and garden, and turns the pool off at night to try to keep the peace.

The charges?

Wilberg was booked into the Duchesne County Jail on suspicion of animal cruelty, a third-degree felony, and for public intoxication.

Here’s the source.

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So you’re drunk, and you’re driving a car. The cops pull you over. Yet they don’t charge you with drunk driving. In fact, they can’t. If it sounds like a riddle, the answer is: the drunk driver was a 9-year-old boy! As reported by The Sun:

The lad was breathalysed by police and taken into custody after they spotted him behind the wheel in Cumbria.

But they were forced to let him back on the streets as his age meant he was not old enough to be held accountable for his actions.

The child, who has not been named, was among thousands of under 18s arrested in the north of England over the past two years.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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gay%20flag%20huge%20sign%20rainbow%20large%20homosexual.gifNo doubt Ponce de Leon High School (Florida) Principal David Davis would deny it’s hatin’. Decide for yourself. As reported by the Student Press Law Center:

The lawsuit, filed Thursday [by a junior at the school], alleges that Principal David Davis told several students who were wearing rainbow belts and shirts and writing pro-gay expressions on their hands that supporting gay and lesbian rights was impermissible at the school. Davis suspended several of the students, leading junior Heather Gillman to question what expressions the school board prohibits.

Benjamin James Stevenson, a Florida ACLU attorney representing Gillman, sent a letter to the school board asking for guidance on what was regarded as permissible speech. The letter included 16 examples of phrases, symbols and images, such as “I Support My Gay Friends,” “GP [Gay Pride]” and “Pro-Gay Marriage,” and asked which if any of the symbols or phrases students could wear at school.

Brandon J. Young, an attorney for the school board, replied in a Nov. 12 letter that none of the symbols or phrases would be allowed. The letter said that, although the school board does not restrict pro-gay or anti-gay expression as such, school policy bars students from wearing anything “that may reasonably disrupt and interfere with the educational process of that student or other students.”

No! No! Not …. the rainbow! We’re doomed! So how much loot is the student asking for? A dollar.

The complaint asks the court for an injunction to prohibit school officials from suppressing students’ First Amendment rights. Among other things, the suit also asks for $1 in nominal damages, attorney fees and a declaration that the school violated Gillman’s rights.

To read more (a fair amount) click here.

UPDATE: A federal judge awarded the students’ attorneys $325,000 in fees, finding that the school principal violated the students’ first and fourteenth amendment rights. You can read a lot more here.

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Apparently looking different is a problem in East Cooper, South Carolina. Two teens must have known this when they hatched their plan, which The Juice has dubbed “The Spandex Chronicles.” As reported by The Post and Courier:

Two teens wearing black from head to toe drew suspicion at a local pharmacy about 3 p.m. April 20 and police were called, a report states.

All black? Head for the hills!

On the way to the pharmacy, Mount Pleasant police were told by dispatchers that the boys had left the pharmacy and were walking around the mall parking lot. Dispatchers said the boys were wearing black suits that covered them from head to toe.

Police looked for the boys but couldn’t find them, so they went to the pharmacy that had reported the teens. A woman working there was visibly nervous and told police what the boys looked like, the report says.

We got ourselves a manhunt!

Another officer had found the boys walking near another pharmacy. The teenagers said they bought the spandex black suits from an online website and that they were walking around just looking for attention. They said their parents had dropped them off.

Whew. That was a close one! What did the police do with the boys?

Police told the teenagers about the impression they had made and called their parents to pick them up.

You mean the same parents who dropped them off? Here’s the source.

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If this boy can’t get his candy on, well, there’s gonna be trouble. And there was. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

According to a Niceville (yes, Niceville!) police report, the [13-year-old] boy was told by his mother that he could not have any candy.

Oh shizzle.

The boy told his mother, “(Expletive) you, (expletive)” and refused to go home.

Two of the three quoted words deleted? Not cool, or necessary. Let The Juice attempt to decode it for you. “Fuck you, bitch.” (Deep breath. Another deep breath. There – everyone alright?)

Mom was not hearing any of that. So …

The woman said she attempted to whip the boy with a belt on his rear end, but he turned around and was struck on his arm.

The 13-year-old then turned around and punched his mother.

That oughta get you a battery charge. It did. Any defense there, sonny?

The boy told officers the incident happened because of candy that he wanted to get for someone else and not for himself.

Oh, well in that case …

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To be fair to Cuyahoga Falls City Councilman Jerry James, perhaps this is not his signature legislative initiative. Maybe he’ll tackle the saggy pants problem next. But about the proposed ordinance that will no doubt vault Cuyahoga Falls City to the top of the “best places to live” list, as reported by AkronNewsNow.com:

Cuyahoga Falls City Council will see legislation introduced tonight to control those bird feeders in back yards across the city.

Councilman Jerry James tells AkronNewsNow.com “There’s a lot of seed that comes out on to the bird feeders, and they spill on to the ground, and the seeds that aren’t eaten by the birds decay and then some birds will come and get them, and then they end up getting sick and dying.”

Before you panic, this epic legislation would not ban bird feeders. It would simply regulate them.

James says his proposed ordinance would deal with the maintenance of the bird feeders, making sure that the overflow does not lay down on the ground, decay, and cause a problem.

So it’s a jobs bill! They’ll need at least one bird feeder inspector, right?

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A despicable Wisconsin man pleads “no contest” to molesting four young boys. Before sentencing him (to 7 years), Waupaca County Judge Philip Kirk had some interesting things to say, including the following, as reported by fox11online.com:

In his pre-sentence comments he challenged Delton Gorges’ claim of being heterosexual.

“I think you were born gayer than a sweet-smelling jockstrap,” said Judge Kirk.

If you’re not scratching your head, then please explain to The Juice exactly what a “sweet-smelling jockstrap” is. There’s more.

“I think that if anyone believes that in the last 10 years or 15 years all of a sudden you developed an interest in homosexuality and young boys, then I must have looked ravishing in my prom dress this year,” Kirk said.

Certainly some strange imagery, but the point is well-taken. The judge did, though, express some empathy for the defendant, albeit in a strange way.

At one point, Judge Kirk said he believes Gorges was a victim of society’s homophobic attitude, especially considering the era in which Gorges grew up.

“I can’t imagine in the ’40s or ’50s admitting your sexual orientation,” said Judge Kirk. “No one knew there was a closet to come out of in those days. You know you had to be very careful because you could have found your penis floating in the Wolf (River) as walleye bait. It was a terrible life to have to live.”

Say what?

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Ecotourism is so yesterday. There’s a new kind of tourism you may not have heard of. Per Whatcom County (Washington) Sheriff Bill Elfo, as reported in The Seattle Times:

[Douglas Spink] was “promoting tourism of this nature for bestiality.”

Oh my.

When county deputies and federal investigators searched the property they found videotapes that included images of a man, who was visiting the property, having sex with several large-breed dogs.

The man, a 51-year-old British national, was arrested for investigation of four counts of bestiality, Elfo said. He is being held in the Whatcom County Jail in lieu of $150,000, Elfo said.

How do federal prosecutors allege this all came about?

Douglas Spink, 39, a one-time dot.com millionaire, convicted drug smuggler and horse trainer, was quietly living on rural property south of Sumas when he connected with James Tait, who was in a Tennessee jail on a bestiality charge.

Tait had earlier been convicted of trespassing in 2005 in the Enumclaw case, in which a Gig Harbor man died after having sex with a horse.

The two men’s communications set in motion an investigation that resulted in Spink’s arrest Wednesday at the Sumas farm for suspicion of violating his federal probation for drug smuggling. Federal prosecutors and Whatcom County sheriff’s officials say Spink also allowed people to come to the farm and have sex with animals.

This is a wild one, readers. You should click here to read a lot more.

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You just have to wonder WTF this Kansas woman was thinking, or drinking, or … As reported by The Wichita Eagle:

Police said the woman reportedly pulled into the driveway of a house in the 5000 block of West Douglas at about 8:20 p.m. Wednesday. She got out, urinated in the yard and then slapped a 3-year-old child in the face a number of times.

She then drove away, pulling into a second yard and then a third, where she ran over a mailbox. The locations were several blocks apart, Capt. Darrell Atteberry said.

The woman was pulled over at a fourth address and taken into custody.


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If you blamed your mom for the severing of your pinky, would you sue her? A contractor in New Jersey did. As reported at NorthJersey.com:

In 2006, John P. Garrity was installing hardwood floors for his mother, Nancy, when the accident occurred, according to court papers. While working with a miter saw in her garage, Nancy came up behind John and tapped him on his right shoulder. In depositions, John Garrity said that when he quickly turned around, his finger slipped into the saw’s path and severed his pinky.

Yikes. The case went to trial. The verdict? $95,500 for Mr. Garrity, plus $18,500 for medical expenses. The actual award was double that, but the jury found that Mr. Garrity was 50% responsible.