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Nobody likes waiting in the ER. But few people, if any, have reacted as this woman did. And it didn’t stop there. As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer at cleveland.com

Prosecutors said in April that [37-year-old Teri] Garko sought emergency medical treatment at the hospital and became angry at being kept waiting. She attacked the technician who was assigned to check her vital signs.

That will certainly get you attention. Not help, but attention.

“Garko punched and kneed the female victim numerous times in the face, chest and spine,” the news release said. “She also slammed the woman’s head into the floor and ripped a patch of hair and scalp from the woman.”

Note: “news release” – so The Juice did not make that up. But that wasn’t the end of it.

While out on bond for the hospital attack, Garko broke into the home of her ex-boyfriend and stabbed him and the woman he was sleeping with. Prosecutors said she stabbed the woman in the chest, which led to the attempted murder charge.

Okay, now it’s over. So what happened to Ms. Garko?

Summit County Prosecutor Sherri Bevan Walsh said Teri Garko pleaded guilty to attempted murder, felonious assault and assault of an emergency medical worker.

The time?

[She] was sentenced Tuesday to 11 years in prison …

Here’s the source, with a mug shot of Ms. Garko.

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Actually, madam, your money isn’t good anywhere in the United Kingdom. As a personal injury lawyer, but for his alter ego, this is not something The Juice would normally come across. No doubt Ms. Louise Munro would not have come across a law like the Coinage Act of 1971 either, had she not tried to pay for her gas with, well, coins! As reported by The Liverpool Echo:

Staff at the BP garage in Queens Drive, West Derby, told 24-year-old Louise Munro that they could not accept the 1p and 2p pieces she offered after her bank card failed because of a system failure.

Say what?

Ms Munro, from Roby, who went home to raid her piggy bank for the loose change to settle her debt, was even told by police over the phone that the garage was correct in refusing the payment after a row broke out.

According to the Royal Mint, 1p and 2p coins are legal only if something is bought for just 20p or less.

Under the little-known Coinage Act 1971 it is illegal to use 21 or more 1p pieces in a single transaction.

A truly brilliant customer relations move by the gas station…

Ms Munro, who denied she was being vindictive by handing over coppers, said: “I admit it’s annoying to have to count pennies but that’s all I had and I’m not the kind of person to leave a debt hanging. I wanted to settle it as soon as I could.

“As far as I was concerned it is legal tender – it has the Queen’s head on it and why would they produce them unless they could be used?”

Seems reasonable. After all, it’s only £30, and it’s not like it’s a daily occurrence.

The dispute happened on Sunday afternoon after Ms Munro’s RBS debit card was rejected because of the bank’s system troubles.

And it was brought about through no fault of Ms. Munro!

… she returned three hours later with two money bags filled with carefully counted-out coppers.

But after the garage searched the internet to see if they could accept the change they stumbled across a newspaper article from earlier this year telling of an accountant who was sued for trying to pay an £800 bill in coppers. There they learned of the Coinage Act 1971.

A phone call to the police also confirmed that Ms Munro’s payment contravened the Coinage Act.

[Garage worker Mugeen] Mohammed said the petrol station has not cashed the loose change and wants Ms Munro to return with an alternative form of payment.

Really? People are probably just lining up to buy gas at such a customer-friendly station.

Merseyside Police confirmed they were contacted over the dispute but said it was a “civil matter”.

Whew. No jail time. You’ll find the source here.

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Sure, neighbors have their disagreements. But check this out, as reported by nj.com:

An elderly man was arrested Monday night after a neighbor’s fart allegedly drove him to threaten him with a gun, police said.

Daniel Collins, 72, had been involved in an ongoing dispute with the unidentified neighbor for some time, Det. Lt. Andrew McGurr told NJ.com.

The neighbor told officers that Collins pointed a revolver at him in the vestibule of their apartment building at 694 Cedar Lane at around 9:25 p.m.

Collins said he confronted the man after hearing him pass gas in front of his apartment door, but denied threatening him with a gun. He consented to a search, and officers recovered a .32 caliber revolver from his vehicle.

Wait, you could hear it in your apartment? Yikes.

He was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot of Mr. Collins.

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If you have glasses, chances are you’ve misplaced them at some point. Let’s say you are a deputy, chances are, at some point … No! Chances are, this virtually NEVER happens, although it did to a New Mexico deputy, as reported by krqe.com:

An off-duty Bernalillo County Sheriff’s deputy left a gun behind at a local hospital …

Um. Er. My bad.

While patients shuffled in and out of Presbyterian Hospital Saturday, the search for the missing gun had hospital security and Albuquerque Police on high alert. “Anytime a weapon is involved, we’re very concerned, but we have highly trained security staff on site that make routine patrols,” explained Paul Sandoval, Director of Security for Presbyterian.

The Sheriff’s Department confirmed an off-duty deputy carrying his personal weapon left it in a restroom by accident. Worried who might find it and pick it up, APD sent officers to the security room of the hospital where detectives reviewed surveillance video.

Roughly 160 cameras are scanning the hospital everyday and one camera shows the hallway leading in and out of the bathroom where the gun was left. “It took a little while to determine who the person was and to make sure that we knew who exactly it was,” Sandoval explained.

Drum roll please …

Video showed just one person entering the restroom after the deputy from the time the gun was reported missing – Dr. Robert Gordon, a non-Presbyterian physician with privileges to practice there.

Gun? What gun?

Hours after the gun went missing, APD found and questioned Gordon. Sources said at first he hesitated to give the gun back but finally handed over the weapon.

Doh! Here’s the source.

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True. As reported in The Knox County Times, Camden-Rockport Middle School in New Jersey has banned farting, apparently due to a bunch of superfarting eighth-graders. This is from the Fire Cracker, the school’s newsletter:

Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS. It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!

A few questions: (1) If the noise emanates from a group of kids, how will the [?] Fart Monitor know who uncorked it? (2) How will “intent” be determined? (3) Will the teacher supervising the detention get time-and-a-half? A clothes pin? Hey Principal Libby, lighten up. It’s just a phase!

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This is really gross and weird. Who likes sucking blood so much that he would do it for 2-3 minutes? Why would you let someone do that? As reported by The Arizona Republic:

A vampire-crazed man was sentenced Monday to three years probation for stabbing a friend who had refused to let him suck his blood.

Some “friend” he turned out to be …

[Aaron] Homer [age 24] stabbed the arm of Robert Maley, 25, of Chandler on Oct. 4 after Maley refused to let him suck his blood a second time, the police report said.

Maley had let Homer suck his blood before, but only because Homer was threatening to cut his ex-girlfriend or her friend. Homer sucked his blood for two to three minutes that time.

Two to three minutes!

On Oct. 4, Homer was demanding to suck his blood a second time.

“I said no, and he flipped,” Maley told police. “He said, ‘I’m doing it,’ and then boom . . . he stabbed me.”

Maley fled from Homer’s apartment on the 600 block of North Alma School Road, leaving a trail of blood in addition to fake blood that Homer or his girlfriend, Amanda Williamson, 21, had spread on the floor, according to the police report.

“They think they are vampires,” said Maley of Homer and Williamson. The pair, he said, are also into paganism.

Homer later admitted to police he stabbed Maley because he was making fun of their “religion.”

How do you get no jail time after admitting that you stabbed someone? Here’s the source.

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Either these gents did an amazing job with their make-up and clothes, or their pursuer was looking through some mega-thick beer goggles, or both. Regardless, he could’ve handled the discovery that the ladies were gents a little better. As reported by The Marco Eagle:

Josue A. Hernandez, 27, of an unknown Immokalee address, according to reports, was at a bar on Boston Avenue in Immokalee when he learned the people he was socializing with and purchased drinks for, which he believed to be female, “were in fact men dressed in women’s clothing,” according to deputies. He then became irate, breaking bottles, starting fights with other customers and causing a disturbance, deputies said.

A large, fixed-blade, hunting-type knife was discovered in Hernandez’s waistband. The knife, which had a wooden handle and a 6-inch blade, was hidden under his shirt, according to reports. The knife is the kind “normally used for the skinning and gutting of deer and other large animals and was in no way a common pocket knife based on its blade length and design,” deputies said.

Fortunately, it appears he kept the knife sheathed. The charges?

Hernandez was arrested shortly before 1 a.m. Saturday and charged with disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon.

With all that bottle-breaking and fighting, he probably blew his shot at just plain “orderly intoxication.” Here’s the source, including a photo of the accused.

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There are folks who garden in more traditional garb (clothes), and then there are the Pierces of Boulder, Colorado. They were spotted gardening in front of their rental unit with very little on – Ms. Pierce was sporting pasties and a thong; Mr. Pierce was was just wearing a thong. Some uptight neighbors called the cops. As reported by the Daily Camera:

… the officers who responded confirmed what the Pierces already believed to be true: Their dress, though scanty, was legal.

As long as a person’s genitalia are covered, no law has been broken, Boulder police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley said.

Yeah! Take that, you uptight, puritanical … What’s that? You say there’s a nuisance clause in my lease? And I’m going to get kick out anyway?

… the Pierces received a letter form Annie Mount at Boulder Housing Partners, their landlord, warning that the behavior was a “nuisance” to the community and needed to be changed. A clause in the Pierces’ lease prohibits “nuisance” behavior, and violating the lease agreement can be grounds for eviction.

Kind of a vague term, no? Yes.

Betsy Martens, executive director of the Boulder Housing Partners, which administers Boulder’s affordable housing program, acknowledged that defining the word nuisance is one of the “most difficult concepts in the law.”

If Boulder tries the nuclear option, the Pierce’s won’t go down without a fight.

“We want our freedom,” Robert Pierce said. “We want exactly what the law gives you, and we don’t want to be harassed about it.”

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No doubt there are many ways to smuggle things into a country. But check out this lizard-smuggling story from KTLA-TV:

A man was arrested at LAX for trying to smuggle 15 live lizards into the United States by strapping them to his chest.

Special agents with the U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife arrested Michael Plank, 40, of Lomita, as he tried to clear U.S. customs at the airport on a flight from Australia last week.

Agents say the lizards were concealed in a money belt that was strapped to Plank’s torso. Inspectors seized two geckos, eleven skinks, and two monitor lizards. Monitor lizards are a protected species under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. The lizards are valued at $8,500 according to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Special Agent Mona Ianelli.

The crime and the time?

Federal law required that travelers declare items brought to the United States from abroad, including wildlife. Concealing the illegal import of wildlife into the United States is a felony. The maximum penalty is 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.


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