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Sure, lots of folks pick up a few keepsakes when they’re on vacation. Maybe something to remind them of the fun they had on the trip. Well check out what this man picked up in Tibet, as reported by The Highline Times (Washington State):

A traveler was stopped at the Sea-Tac Airport by a dog that smelled something funny. Customs and Border Protection agriculture specialists contacted the man and he told them he had four yak skulls in his duffel bag. The traveler told the specialists he found two of the skulls while hiking in Tibet. He also bought two yak skulls at a village store to keep as souvenirs. Two of the skulls had dried flesh on them, which is what alerted a federal Beagle named Woody. An Agriculture program manager said the skulls were destroyed under high-pressure steam to prevent the introduction of animal diseases.

Nothing like a fleshy yak skull to start that stroll down memory lane.

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The scale of this formal postal worker’s thievery is truly mind-boggling. As reported by 9news.com, he stole about 11,000 packages over a 2-year period!

Schmauder targeted packages sent from retailers like Amazon.com, looking for DVDs and CDs he could re-sell. Additionally, Schmauder stole Victoria’s Secret lingerie which he gave to his wife. He admitted to stealing as many as 50 packages a night for two years.

What did he do with all that stuff?

Schmauder resold the stolen items to Angelo’s Movies, Music and Gifts, a Littleton store which bills itself as the largest independent music store in the Denver area. Receipts showed Angelo’s paid Schmauder $85,174 for 11,829 items.

Sweet Mary! The sentence?

U.S. District Court Judge Christine Arguello sentenced Schmauder to 30 months, or two and a half years, in federal prison, the maximum according to sentencing guidelines …

You can read more (a fair amount, including information on his mental illness defense) and see a video of the story here.

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After this experience, it’s hard to imagine any of these young men snorting anything again, EVER. Although they thought they were snorting drugs, turns out they were snorting dogs and a man. Yes, you read that correctly. As reported in The New York Post:

Waldo Soroa, 19; Matrix Andaluz, 18; Jose Marrero, 19; and two juveniles broke into a house in Florida, spotted white powder in two urns, decided it was coke or heroin, and promptly began snorting it, officials said.

Nope.

… the “drugs” turned out to be the cremated remains of homeowner Holli Tencza’s dad and her two Great Danes.

The [young men] said they eventually realized their mistake, and had a brief attack of conscience.

“Brief” being the key word …

They talked about returning the ashes that were left, but then they decided their fingerprints would be pulled off the urns, so they dumped the evidence in a nearby lake.

[HT to a regular reader (who wishes to remain anonymous – can you blame him?) for bringing this story to The Juice’s attention.]

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You are a 77-year-old man, unloading groceries from your car, when a guy comes up to you with a gun, demanding that you empty your pockets. You do it, right? Not if you are Pat Gillespie of Flint, Michigan. As reported by mlive.com:

Gillespie had a bag with a two-liter of Pepsi, and he took a swing and hit the man. The man got a shot off, hitting Gillespie in the groin.

Your weapon against a gun is a two-liter Pepsi container? And?

The man, who was with another male, ran off empty handed.

UFB. Said Mr. Gillespie …

“I didn’t want to give them nothing.”

What about that shot to the groin?

…Gillespie was taken to the hospital but later released.

There was little appearance that he was shot, other than a hospital wristband. He said he feels fine, although he is just a little sore.

That’s one tough dude. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Like everyone else (except the perps), The Juice is pleased when drunk drivers make things easy for the fuzz. As reported by The Beacon-News (Illinois):

A 43-year-old Oswego woman was charged with drunken driving after police responded to calls about a woman throwing up out of her car at 6:40 p.m. Monday near Ashlawn Avenue and Circle Drive West, Oswego police said. Officers found the car driving in the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street. Tessy Callas, of the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street, Oswego, was also charged with illegal transportation of liquor, police said.

Other than vomiting, what else do drunk people do? Here’s a hint: zzzzzzzzzz.

Selina Nieto, 33, of the 200 block of Abbeywood Lane, North Aurora, was charged with drunken driving last week after police were called for a woman asleep at the gas pumps in the 500 block of Montgomery Road, police said Monday.

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Perhaps the only time it’s safe to laugh in open court is when the judge does. A North Carolina man thought otherwise, and paid for it in a big way. As reported by The Fayetteville Observer:

A Cumberland County judge didn’t find it funny when a man kept laughing in her courtroom Friday.

Judge Toni King asked Johnny Montgomery, 47, what was so amusing. According to the Sheriff’s Office, Montgomery told her, “It’s none of your business.”

Um. It is now. Note that Mr. Montgomery was in court for misdemeanor charges “of communicating threats and trespassing.”

[Judge] King ordered him removed from her District Courtroom. As deputies searched Montgomery, they found more than 3 grams of crack cocaine on him, Sheriff’s Office said.

Oh my. Those misdemeanor charges are looking pretty trifling.

Now [Mr. Montgomery] is charged with felony possession of cocaine. [He] … was taken to jail where his bail was set at $1,500.

 

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How can The Juice be so certain that Jennifer Bibby, a 63-year-old neighborhood watch leader will catch the person who vandalized cars in her neighborhood? Because she did it! CCTV may be intrusive, but it doesn’t lie. As reported by swns.com:

Police officer’s widow Jennifer Bibby, 63, is an upstanding churchgoer and well-respected as a neighbourhood watch leader in a tight-knit community.

But she has been arrested and cautioned for criminal damage after being caught on CCTV attacking the cars of neighbours Clare Leverton and Suzanne Hoole.

Clare had suffered a number of vandalism attacks over recent years and believed hooded yobs were responsible for the latest damage, which occurred on Bonfire Night.

But Clare was stunned when the CCTV system she installed to catch the culprits spotted Jennifer covering the vehicles with flour and eggs.

Single mother-of-two Clare, who runs Attitudes Hair and Beauty in Hoddesdon, Herts., admitted she was ”shocked” when she saw Jennifer on the footage.

Clare, 44, said: ”The vandalism had been going on for years at my house so we decided to put up some CCTV cameras as a last resort.

What did Ms. Bibby have to say for herself?

”She denied everything to the police until they said ‘you are on CCTV’ and then she admitted it.”

Doh! You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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When you get excited, you sometimes forget things. Even when you’re robbing a bank? As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

The heist happened around 9:45 a.m. at the Citibank branch, 539 N. Michigan Ave., police said. A man walked into the bank and told a teller he had a bomb in a bag he was holding and demanded the teller stuff cash into it, police said.

It’s working! It’s working!

But then the man left the bag behind with the cash, police said.

Doh!

FBI officials said there was no bomb found and no one was injured.

The man is described being between 6 feet 2 and 6 feet 3 inches tall and clean shaven. He was wearing a baseball cap and wore one blue latex glove.

Here’s the source, including a still from the bank’s video surveillance.

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Of all the places he could have picked, check out where this gent chose to expose himself, as reported by phillyburbs.com:

A man exposed himself to a woman inside the Bucks County Association for the Blind.

Newtown Township police said the incident occurred about 2 p.m. Friday inside the bookstore at the offices at 400 Freedom Drive.

The woman told police the suspect is a skinny, black male, between 35 and 45 years old, about 5 feet 10 inches tall and was wearing a black track suit.

Officers checked the area along with Newtown Borough police and could not find the suspect.

Crazy right? Or was it?