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You try to be nice to people, and what do you get? Spit on, literally, and more. As reported by the
Northwest Florida Daily News:

A woman who gave her ex-boyfriend a ride to the bowling alley called for help after he called her names, spit in her face, pushed her head against a pillar and threw a glass of water at her.

He also pulled her hair, which was a wig and came off in his hand.

The 35-year-old Fort Walton Beach man had left the area before Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputies arrived, according to his arrest report.

Probably didn’t even say “thank you.”

The incident happened on Jan. 16. Deputies located and arrested him the next day. He was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery.

Here’s the source.

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As reported in the Tacoma Washington News-Tribune:

In May, a 22-year-old Gig Harbor man spent a night drinking at a tavern with a friend before seeing how fast he could drive his car – on an airport runway. According to court documents, the man, who worked at the Tacoma Narrows Airport, used a code to let himself in, drove onto the runway – and floored it. He hit 105 mph before the car sheared off a runway light, went airborne and landed upside down at the bottom of an embankment, court records said. He suffered minor scrapes, police said. His passenger was more seriously injured. The man pleaded guilty to DUI and had his pilot’s license, er driver’s license, suspended 90 days.

Motha trucka!

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As a daily bicycle commuter, it pains The Juice to blast a fellow cyclist. All he can say about this gent is … DUDE! From The Cairns Post:

A drunken cyclist wobbled along a highway before falling off his bike into a ditch in front of police.

Police say the 26-year-old Feluga man’s blood alcohol concentration was more than five times the limit when they breath-tested him after he crashed on the Bruce Highway at Tully.

They say he returned a reading of 0.28 per cent just after the incident, which happened about 10.50pm on Saturday.

The man was charged with riding a bicycle whilst under the influence of liquor, and will appear in the Tully Magistrates Court on November 19.

Uncool, very uncool.

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The Juice is feeling it just thinking about pounding 20 beers. But that’s exactly what a 26-year-old Kalamazoo, Michigan man did. Fortunately he did not succeed with what he set out to do after the binge. He did do some damage though, including a pretty disgusting grand finale. As reported by mlive.com:

Kalamazoo Department of Public Safety Assistant Chief Brian Uridge said the man told officers he was feeling depressed, went to the top of the Radisson [Plaza Hotel & Suites] ramp at 100 N. Rose St. and drank 20 beers to “get enough courage to commit suicide,” Uridge said.

The man, whose name has not been released, then proceeded to drive out of the ramp and struck eight vehicles, causing $75,000 worth of damage.

You’re probably wondering about the grand finale?

The man then got on top of a car and defecated on it, Uridge said.

Perhaps it was a symbolic act, with the car representing his life, or him, or … who knows. At least he didn’t kill himself.

Uridge said the man was arrested at about 3 p.m. on suspicion of drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level of 0.17 or higher, which under state law is called “super drunk.” Police did not release the man’s BAC Friday.

Here’s the source.

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It’s 3:30 a.m. What’s the rush? That would be a good question to ask Mr. Warren Melamed. As reported by www.newschannel5.com:

Mount Juliet Police say the two ambulance drivers were taking a patient out of a home on a stretcher at 3:30 Saturday morning, when they say, Melamed, attempted to drive the ambulance away.

“They immediately laid the patient down and asked the gentlemen to get himself out from behind the wheel,” said Wilson Co. Emergency Management Director John Jewell.

Police say the Brentwood resident was angry because the ambulance was blocking him in, and he was trying to move it.

The Juice concurs with this neighbor.

“What’s the urgency at 3, 3:30 in the morning? Why do you have to leave that quickly that you can’t wait until they load this man up and get him where he needs to be,” said neighbor Amanda Hamblen. “That person having that emergency right then is the only person that matters.”

So, what happened to Mr. Melamed?

[He] was arrested and charged with a misdemeanor, unauthorized use of a class A vehicle.

Hmm. And who is this fellow anyway?

Online Melamed lists himself as CEO of Oral Health Management, a local chain of dentist offices. Calls Tuesday for comment weren’t returned.

Oh my. That’s not going to be good for business.

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This man, just convicted of sexual battery and facing 20 years to life, just walks right out of the courtroom, and the courthouse? Yup. As reported by The Times-Picayune:

Orleans Parish Sheriff Marlin Gusman said his office is reviewing just how a freshly convicted sex offender simply walked out of a criminal courtroom, down the steps of the courthouse and out of sight before anyone noticed.

Gusman’s office also released a photo of Teddy Magee, who faces 20 years to life in prison after a jury convicted him of second-degree sexual battery Monday, despite the victim’s support during the trial.

How did it happen?

Following the verdict, the woman grew hysterical, and as Criminal District Court Judge Benedict Willard and lawyers were discussing a possible appeal bond for Magee, the defendant apparently walked to the back of the courtroom and out the door.

So nobody was responsible for keeping tabs on a violent sex offender?

In a news release, Gusman said his office was looking into whether any policies or procedures were broken.

See, apparently there’s a simple explanation.

“One deputy was escorting the jury out, and you had the other with the situation about the woman doing what she was doing [acting hysterical]. All that was part of the process of what was going on,” Ehrhardt said.

Really? That’s it? A minor distraction, and a felon walks right out of the courthouse? You can read more here.

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The Juice is not aware of any stats on the quickest violation of a protective order. If any such compendium existed, this case would have to be near the top. As reported by sonomanews.com:

Deputies didn’t have to go far to arrest an individual who had violated a court order – he was still in jail. The man had been arrested earlier that morning on a domestic violence charge and was served with an emergency protective order forbidding him or any third party from having any contact with his wife. The man called his wife three times from the county jail, leaving messages on her answering machine. The man’s grandmother also called the wife and left a message saying she was going to bail her grandson out. The man, who was still in jail, had a probation violation and disobeying a court order added to the charges he’s facing.

A two-fer! Violations by calling directly, and through granny. Brilliant!

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Generally, when you get plastered, it’s a good idea to just sleep it off. Ah, but it’s very important where you chose to do so. Just ask this gent from Kentucky. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, KY):

According to the arrest slip, around 6:30 a.m. Saturday police responded to reports of a vehicle facing north in the southbound lane near the 4400 block of Shepherdsville Road. When police arrived at the scene, they found 21-year-old Cruz Santiago at the wheel.

Okay. They found him at the wheel. So what’s the problem?

Police say the 2008 Pontiac was running and in gear, and that Santiago was asleep at the wheel with his foot on the brake as the car inched forward. When confronted, Santiago said Santiago smelled of alcohol, had bloodshot eyes and was unsteady on his feet.

Big, big problem. Dude could have killed someone.

Santiago failed a field sobriety test, police say, and registered .184 on a portable breathalyzer test.

He was arrested and charged with one count of DUI.

You’ll find the source, including a mug shot, here.

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If you’re this lady, you plunder her home! And then do it again! The plunderer’s timing wasn’t the best, as reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

At first, on Wednesday, she helped herself to some craft supplies. And a knife. A purse. One hundred CDs. The window curtains.

Shellie Leonard wanted more, authorities said, and on Thursday she went back to her neighbor’s house on Dalwood Drive with plans to steal a computer and electronics. Her neighbor was incarcerated at the Pasco County jail.

But, and this is a big “but” …

But Thursday happened to be the day the neighbor came home — and caught Leonard stealing, the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office said.

Doh!

Leonard, 43, of 4004 Darlington Road in Holiday, was arrested and charged with two counts of burglary.

Leonard remained Friday at the Pasco jail in lieu of $10,500 bail.

Should be an extra charge for hitting someone when they’re down.

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This story is truly wacky. First, you have a Proctor, Minnesota man who took a La-Z-Boy chair and put a lawnmower motor in it, and a steering wheel. Per the Duluth News Tribune, “It has a stereo, cup holders and other custom options, including different power levels.” All tricked out and no place to go? Not exactly. Dennis LeRoy Anderson (62!) took his chair out on the town. And got lit. Then he took to the streets – and crashed into a parked car! How drunk was he? Really, really drunk (.29). Oh, and …

He has one prior DWI conviction.

Doh! In fairness, I should mention that Mr. Anderson offered an explanation for the accident:

Anderson claimed he was driving the chair fine until a woman jumped on it and knocked the chair off course.

Curse you woman! You know the crime (he pleaded guilty). The time?

Judge Heather Sweetland sentenced Anderson to 180 days in the St. Louis County Jail or at the Northeast Regional Corrections Center and fined him $2,000 plus court fees. She stayed the jail time and one-half of the fine for two years of supervised probation. As conditions of his probation, Anderson must submit to a chemical dependency assessment, follow all recommendations, abstain from alcohol and unprescribed drugs, be subject to random testing and undergo 30 days of electronic monitoring.

 

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