Legal Juice

This man, just convicted of sexual battery and facing 20 years to life, just walks right out of the courtroom, and the courthouse? Yup. As reported by The Times-Picayune:

Orleans Parish Sheriff Marlin Gusman said his office is reviewing just how a freshly convicted sex offender simply walked out of a criminal courtroom, down the steps of the courthouse and out of sight before anyone noticed.

Gusman's office also released a photo of Teddy Magee, who faces 20 years to life in prison after a jury convicted him of second-degree sexual battery Monday, despite the victim's support during the trial.

How did it happen?

Following the verdict, the woman grew hysterical, and as Criminal District Court Judge Benedict Willard and lawyers were discussing a possible appeal bond for Magee, the defendant apparently walked to the back of the courtroom and out the door.

So nobody was responsible for keeping tabs on a violent sex offender?

In a news release, Gusman said his office was looking into whether any policies or procedures were broken.

See, apparently there's a simple explanation.

"One deputy was escorting the jury out, and you had the other with the situation about the woman doing what she was doing [acting hysterical]. All that was part of the process of what was going on," Ehrhardt said.

Really? That's it? A minor distraction, and a felon walks right out of the courthouse? You can read more here.

Generally, when you get plastered, it's a good idea to just sleep it off. Ah, but it's very important where you chose to do so. Just ask this gent from Kentucky. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, KY):

According to the arrest slip, around 6:30 a.m. Saturday police responded to reports of a vehicle facing north in the southbound lane near the 4400 block of Shepherdsville Road. When police arrived at the scene, they found 21-year-old Cruz Santiago at the wheel.

Okay. They found him at the wheel. So what's the problem?

Police say the 2008 Pontiac was running and in gear, and that Santiago was asleep at the wheel with his foot on the brake as the car inched forward. When confronted, Santiago said Santiago smelled of alcohol, had bloodshot eyes and was unsteady on his feet.

Big, big problem. Dude could have killed someone.

Santiago failed a field sobriety test, police say, and registered .184 on a portable breathalyzer test.

He was arrested and charged with one count of DUI.

You'll find the source, including a mug shot, here.

It's really nice when a 4-year-old brings snacks to school to share with his friends, right? Well, let's just say the boy's intentions were good. As reported by news4jax.com:

Police in Connecticut are investigating after they say a 4-year-old special needs student brought nine bags of marijuana to school and offered it to his friends during snack time.

Meriden police planned to seek an arrest warrant for the boy's mother on charges of risk of injury to a child, possession of a controlled substance and intent to sell, according to the Meriden Record-Journal.

A teacher at Hanover Elementary School called police Tuesday after seeing the student produce the drugs, which appeared to be wrapped for sale, NBC Connecticut reported.

Here's the source.

It should go without saying that every kid ought to hear "the talk" from his parents. But a 42-year-old British dad apparently wanted to go the extra mile for his 14-year-old son - by hooking him up (sorry) with a prostitute! Alas, the woman dad approached was ... a cop! And, of course, now dad is ashamed.

The father's barrister Matthew Smith said: "There is a thorough sense of shame the defendant feels.

Said the Judge, per the BBC News:

What you were doing that night was to expose your 14-year-old son to a prostitute because you didn't know she was a police officer.

You have a duty of care to your son and that is to look after his moral welfare not, as you might think, to break him into the ways of sex through a prostitute.

So dad pleaded guilty to attempting to solicit a woman to have sex with a minor. Jail time?

Judge Jonathan Teare said he was not sending the father to prison because of his previous excellent character and that he believed he did not mean any harm to his son.

Mr. Smith added that the boy would be allowed to continue to live with his father.

But ...

[dad] will be placed on the sex offenders register for five years.

Go figure. A man of "previous excellent character" who retains custody of his son is put on the sex offenders registry? Huh? Here's the source.

It was an easy day at the office for the police officers assigned to this caper. As reported by The Daily Mail:

It was an early festive gift for John Dacre who had called in 'special branch' after the [Christmas] trees and dozens of holly wreaths and festive decorations went missing from his nursery in Spenborough, West Yorkshire.

The thieves had even stolen two of his trollies to cart off their loot.

You were given a hint as to how they were caught...

... once Mr Dacre had spotted the incriminating pine needles on the ground the police were soon on the case.

Together they followed the trail along the Spen Valley Ringway and across fields, stopping at a house in Firthcliffe where the officers found the trees [dumped in a garden].

Ironically, the stolen trees were "supposed to be "low needle drop" trees which don’t shed so easily." Mr. Dacre was clearly thrilled with the outcome.

'The police were absolutely brilliant. We walked together following this trail through the pouring rain and I joked to them that all we needed was a big magnifying glass and then we’d be real supersleuths!'

The thieves, not so much. See, the police didn't just find the stolen items at the house.

'As an extra present, officers also found a cannabis farm at the address.'

Hmm. Perhaps the owners sampled the crop earlier that day? Here's the source.

You're really going to make a federal case over a can of beans? Well, yes. Because that was no ordinary can of beans, as reported by The Hartford Courant.

Police on Saturday arrested a Fair Haven man who they say received a kilogram of cocaine through the mail that had been hidden inside cans of beans.

So maybe it was a few cans of beans.

William Suarez-Claudio, 26, of 63 Market St., was charged with possession of narcotics with intent to sell ten ounces or more of narcotics and possession of narcotics with intent to sell within 1500-feet of a school. The drugs had a value of more than $100,000, police said.

Who spilled the beans?

Officers from the New Haven police department's Tactical Narcotics Unit, working with inspectors from the U.S. Postal Service in Connecticut, intercepted a parcel that had been mailed in Puerto Rico.

After obtaining a search warrant, police opened the package and discovered the cocaine. It had been divided and hidden inside sealed cans of kidney beans. The beans had been removed and replaced with water. The cocaine had been compressed into large chunks, wrapped in plastic and covered with petroleum jelly, police said.

The parcel was delivered to 63 Market Street, first floor, where it was received by the first floor resident, Suarez-Claudio, police said.

Snap! It's the fuzz. Head for the back door!

Suarez-Claudio attempted to flee through the rear of the apartment building as officers were coming through the front door to execute a warrant, but police stationed in the back yard took him into custody. Suarez-Claudio had the parcel in hand as he attempted to flee, police said.

Should have known they always cover the back door, at least on TV. Here's the source.

Sure was nice of the police officer to offer this dude a ride home on a cold night. Sure was dumb of the dude to accept. As reported by the Cleveland.com (Parma Sun Post):

Police saw the man walking on Broadview at about 2:40 a.m. Dec. 11. Because it was cold, the officer offered him a ride to a house on Meadowlane Road. While patting him down, police found marijuana [and arrested him].

Doh!

The man also was wanted on a warrant from a municipal court.

Doh! Here's the source.

Knowing his demographic, The Juice feels confident that most of you are scratching your heads, or mumbling "WTF does that title mean?" or both. If you don't know, see Casablanca. Anyway, this lady picked perhaps the worst bus stop, of all the bus stops, in all the ... As reported by the Hunterdon County [New Jersey] Democrat:

Detectives Jesse Winfield and Lamont Garnes had just finished their shift and were leaving their office in Flemington when they drove past the LINK bus stop on Court Street next to their office.

Winfield recognized the woman waiting for the bus as Drexcella Jacque, 45, of Raritan Township and knew that she was wanted for violation of probation.

Uh oh.

They approached Jacque and after speaking with her, determined that she was unaware she was sitting at the bus stop that was next to the Sheriff’s Office, authorities said.

Oops.

Jacque was then arrested and lodged in the county jail on the warrant without bail, pending a court appearance.

Here's the source.

If you have a lot of Facebook "friends", things like this can happen real easily - especially if you're the type to constantly update your whereabouts. It's unlikely this Pennsylvania woman will be quite so forthcoming in the future. As reported by phillyBurbs.com:

A New Jersey man is facing trial in Doylestown for allegedly burglarizing an acquaintance's Wrightstown home after learning that she was on vacation via her Facebook posts.

Newtown district Judge Donald Nasshorn sent the case against Steve Pieczynski, 36, of Lambertville, to Bucks County Court following a preliminary hearing to review the case Monday. 

How'd they catch the "friend"?

Newtown Township police tracked Pieczynski down using a license plate number that suspicious neighbors had taken down, court records show. 

Good things those neighbors weren't busy updating their Facebook pages.

Adding insult to injury, the public is now aware of this gent's very own Plaxico Burress moment. But for the reporting law, nobody would have been the wiser. As reported by The Corvallis Gazette-Times:

Ethan Bennett, 36, told Benton County sheriff’s deputies he was at his residence at 24750 Cox Lane in Monroe about 4:15 p.m. Wednesday when he tried to shoot the [squirrel] with a .22-caliber rifle.

The squirrel reportedly ran up his left leg, and he pulled the trigger, hitting himself in the foot.

Doh!

Deputies contacted Bennett at Good Samaritan Regional Medical Center, where he drove himself after the accident. Law enforcement agencies investigate all gunshot wounds admitted to the hospital.

Hospital personnel said Bennett was treated and released.

And if you're worried about the squirrel ...

Capt. Greg Ridler said Bennett did not kill the squirrel.

Whew. Not surprisingly, "Bennett declined to comment about the incident." Here's the source.

I didn't steal that MP3 player. It's my sister's... Okay, and you're sticking with that? As reported by The Herald-Tribune:

A teen suspect in several car burglaries, while being questioned by a sheriff’s deputy, reportedly claimed that the MP3 player in his possession belonged to his sister.

Okay, so what's the problem?

When the deputy turned the device on, however, he reportedly saw another deputy’s family photo. That deputy’s sister-in-law reportedly confirmed that the MP3 player had been stolen from her unlocked car.

Um. I found it? My friend gave it to me? I ...

Deputies arrested William Kyle Campbell, 18, of the 9200 block of Anita Avenue, in his Englewood neighborhood Sunday morning after residents complained about suspicious males on bicycles.

Campbell reportedly dropped gloves and a GPS when confronted. Deputies said Campbell had bulging pockets that contained the MP3 player, two flashlights, a wallet, a ring, a woman’s earring, two necklaces, sunglasses and a large amount of coins.

The charges?

... four counts of burglary of a conveyance, four petit theft charges and a count of possession of burglary tools.

Here's the source, including a mug shot.

Sure, there have been mistakes made in the "war on drugs" and the "war on terror." But exactly how Australian customs could make such a colossal mistake is hard to fathom. As reported at news.com.au:

Neil Parry was arrested in June last year at Darwin Airport and charged with trafficking 1.6kg of liquid ecstasy in two bottles of Pantene.

After spending three days in jail last year, and having friends' homes searched, Mr Parry was granted bail.

There was just one teeny, tiny problem with the case against Mr. Parry.

Customs later admitted the toiletries contained no illegal drugs and all charges against Mr Parry were dropped.

NO DRUGS!

Today, Mr Parry told ABC Radio he had been given $100,000 in compensation for his ordeal and an apology.

Wow, so it worked out well for him after all? Not exactly.

"It is not worth it, no," Mr Parry said."I would rather it never happened," he said.

He said most of the money would go towards his legal expenses.

Here's the source.

If you were in a food fight, you'd definitely want this guy on your side. As reported by The Union City Messenger (Tennessee):

Emanual Cordell Kennedy, 37, of 907 North Glendale St., Union City, was arrested at 4:38 p.m. Tuesday on a charge of domestic assault, according to a Union City Police Department report.

Brenda King, 55, told police she and her son, Kennedy, had a disagreement at her home at 907 North Glendale St. She claimed the disagreement escalated until Kennedy allegedly threw something and hit her in the back while she was walking down the hall. She left the residence and went to the police department to report it.

So what was it that hit her?

Police reported Kennedy admitted to officers that he threw a ham, but he told police he was not expecting Ms. King to be walking down the hall and did not expect to hit her. He was taken into custody for the domestic assault charge.

You threw a ham at your mama? Not cool, sir. Not cool. Here's the source.

The moment was right. And this gent was not going to let it pass. So when a car presented itself ... As reported by The Palm Beach Post:

A 59-year-old man was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail after he admitted to stealing a Palm Beach County Sheriff's vehicle so he could have intimate time with a woman, a probable cause affidavit says.

Alexander Pratt and 53-year-old Clara Pearson, both of Lake Worth, were arrested Thursday night on charges of grand theft auto.

If you're wondering why they would steal a police car ...

A sheriff's probable cause affidavit says that plainclothes deputies from the sheriff's auto theft task force parked their green Honda Civic in front of a Quick Stop on South Dixie Highway. The Civic, which is owned by the sheriff's department and has video, audio and GPS surveillance, was left unlocked while running.

Doh! A Honda Civic? That is deep undercover. Any regrets?

... Pratt told deputies he knew the car was stolen but didn't regret it because he wanted to "go to have intimate relations with Pearson," the affidavit says.

You'll find the source, including mug shots, here.

What do you do when your live-in girlfriend comes home early, and your Craigslist date arrives at the door? Perhaps it shouldn't be all that surprising that a two-timer, when caught in a situation like this, wouldn't just come clean. As reported by The Gazette (Colorado Springs):

Five Colorado Spring police officers sped to the aid a man and his girlfriend early Wednesday who pleaded for help from a person outside his house supposedly wielding a gun.

All they found was his “other woman.”

Really? Who would think that would work? Well ...

Police suspect the frenzied rush came when Keith Gaylor, 24, called 911 to convince his girlfriend that the woman at his door was a burglar and not his date.

Gaylor met the “other woman” on Craigslist and agreed to meet her at his home in the 4900 block of Picturesque Circle, according to the Colorado Springs Police Department.

Gaylor’s plan met a hitch, however, when his live-in girlfriend arrived home unexpectedly, police said.

While his date knocked on the door shortly after 3 a.m., Gaylor called 911 and reported that a person was trying to break down the door, police said. Gaylor added the woman had a gun — prompting five officers to speed to his home.

Hmm. 3 a.m.? Not your typical dating hour.

Police immediately detained the supposed burglar, but soon let her go free.

As for Mr. Gaylor ...

Officers served Gaylor a summons for false reporting to authorities, a misdemeanor.

Not so good under pressure, that one. Here's the source.

If your cash haul is only a quarter, it's just petty theft, right? Well, it depends ... on what the quarter was in. As reported by The Gainesville Sun:

A Gainesville woman was taken to jail Monday after being charged with helping to steal an $800 cash register.Inside the cash register was a quarter, police said.

Doh! And to get the cash register, they broke a window in the front door! You can read more here.

It might be tempting to simply chalk this one up to bad timing, but the dude tried to steal the hottest item in the world on the first day it was available! As reported by WDRB (Louisville, KY)

According to an arrest report, on Thursday afternoon, 21-year-old Raylon J. Brooks an employee of UPS, removed an iPhone -- worth $649 -- from a shipping pallet and hid it inside his boot, then tried to walk out of the building with it.

But it didn't quite work out as he planned.

How could this ingenious plan have failed?

"UPS did a random audit today, and as employees were leaving, they made them take their shoes off," the arrest report states.

Random my arse.

Police say that, when Brooks took his boots off, the iPhone fell out.

Brooks allegedly admitted to stealing the iPhone and gave a written statement. He was arrested and charged with theft.

Given the available choices: (1) What? How'd that get in there? (2) No hablo Ingles. (3) I was just checking to make sure the facility is secure. (4) Okay, you got me... - It's hard to give the guy too much credit for fessin' up. Here's the source.

Dude didn't say that, but he might has well have, given the way he presented himself. As reported by the Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey) at nj.com:

Police gave the following report:

A man called police from the Hess gas station on Route 31 north on Wednesday, Oct. 5 at about 7:50 p.m., reporting the situation and noting that he was unable to wake the driver.

So being tired is a crime? No, but ...

Patrolman Lawrence Anthes found Daniel Wilson, 36, of Frenchtown asleep in the van, which was still running and had been parked at the gas pumps for about one hour.

Anthes also tried to wake Wilson but initially could not, police said. The patrolman saw that the van’s passenger-side rear tire was gone and that the vehicle had been driven on the rim. The patrolman reached into the vehicle, turned it off, and then physically shook Wilson awake.

Wilson, who had the odor of alcohol on his breath, was removed from the vehicle and arrested after the patrolman determined that he was intoxicated. The minivan was towed from the scene and impounded.

Um ... sorry? Here's the source.

Maybe, maybe when the police find a body, they miss a small stab wound. But, and this a big "but," what if the knife is still in the body? Could they miss it? Yup. As reported in The Medway Messenger:

Police failed to spot a dead pensioner had been murdered - until undertakers found a knife in his back, an inquest heard.

Officers were called to the home of Antoine Denis, in New Road, Chatham, after neighbours raised the alarm.

The 66-year-old was pronounced dead by a police nurse when he was found slumped on his bedroom floor.

But an inquest was told the weapon and a stab wound were only found by undertakers as they prepared to move his body on January 9.

DC [Detective Constable] Linda Robb told coroner Roger Sykes the knife was missed because it was dark in the flat and Mr Denis was lying on his back.

What, you expected the police officer to turn the body over? Don't be ridiculous.

Recording a verdict of unlawful killing, Mr Sykes said Mr Denis had died from a single stab wound, which penetrated his lung due to "the unlawful act of a person whose identity has not yet been established".

The perp? Still at large.

Kim Albone, of Luton Road, Chatham, was charged with murder on January 21, but was later released after a decision by the Crown Prosecution Service. Officers are still hunting Mr Denis' killer.

Here's the source.

"Show and tell" didn't turn out too well for the mother of a Missouri kindergartner. As reported by kctv5.com:

The task for the fresh-faced kindergartner students was to bring important family items for show and tell.

But one kindergartner floored his teacher and local law enforcement officers when police say he pulled his mother's crack pipe and an ounce of drugs from his backpack.

The child's mother was charged with possession of a controlled substance and one count of first-degree child endangerment. Bond was set at $7,500 for 32-year-old Michelle Marie Cheatham.

The rocks turned out to be meth. You can read more here.