Legal Juice

What name could be so bad that a Chicago Alderman held up the sign permit for 2 1/2 years? "Felony Franks". Yes, The Juice is scratching his head too. As reported by The Chicago Sun-Times:

After a 2½-year battle that culminated in a First Amendment lawsuit, the City Council’s Transportation Committee will meet on June 6 to issue the sign permit local Ald. Bob Fioretti (2nd) has been blocking on grounds that the name sends a “bad message” to area students.

The agreement hammered out in federal court this week stipulates that Fioretti and three other aldermen named in the lawsuit will no longer “oppose, interfere or obstruct” the permit application process for Felony Franks, 229 S. Western.

“We live in the greatest country in the world. We have freedom of speech. If I cannot be allowed to call my business what I want, then we’re living in a dictatorship, not a democracy,” said owner Jim Andrews, who hires ex-offenders. “If you fight hard enough for what you believe in, the system works. The only thing wrong with the system is the consumer shouldn’t have to fight as hard as I had to fight for what’s right.”

[It's] still pending and Andrews is still demanding $293,000 in damages for business lost during the 2½-year sign battle.

You're out drinking with a friend. Wisely, you travel by cab. Your friend is not feeling well. Of course, you are sympathetic, right? Um... Not so much. As reported in the Strongsville, Ohio Police Blotter:

DISTURBANCE, HIDDEN MEADOWS: At 2:51 a.m. April 2, a cab driver told police that when he dropped off passengers, they began to argue and physically fight.

The driver stated that one of the passengers vomited in the vehicle, and that he was still owed $30.

Police determined that the fighting stemmed from one of the subjects using his phone to film his sick friend cleaning the vomit, which led to the argument. The driver was eventually paid, and left.

Really. Mr. Bryson Pillars was chewing some tobacco when ... [I'll let the Mississippi Supreme Court take it from here. They just don't write them like they used to.]

It seems that appellant [Mr. Pillars] consumed one plug of his purchase, which measured up to representations, that it was tobacco unmixed with human flesh, but when appellant tackled the second plug it made him sick, but, not suspecting the tobacco, he tried another chew, and still another, until he bit into some foreign substance, which crumbled like dry bread, and caused him to foam at the mouth, while he was getting "sicker and sicker." Finally, his teeth struck something hard; he could not bite through it. After an examination he discovered a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. We refrain from detailing the further harrowing and nauseating details. The appellant consulted a physician, who testified that appellant exhibited all of the characteristic symptoms of ptomaine poison. The physician examined the toe and identified it as a human toe in a state of putrefaction, and said, in effect, that his condition was caused by the poison generated by the rotten toe.[emphasis added]

Nothing wrong with shooting at cans with a .22 ... unless it's in the middle of a suburban neighborhood! What kind of dope would do this? This kind, as reported at www.thedestinlog.com:

Two men were arrested Thursday after a homeowner on Pompano Street complained he'd found two bullet holes in his garage door.

According to a Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Office release, while the homeowner was showing a deputy the damage, a bullet passed within 2 feet of the deputy and hit the garage door.

Backup units were called and four men were found in the back yard of another home on the same street.

The men had been firing a bolt action, .22 caliber rifle. Two of the men, twin brothers Tyler and Nicholas Hulick, both 19, had fired the rifle at a can and a tree in the back yard.

When Tyler fired a shot that hit the homeowner's garage, one of the men with him told him he "nearly hit someone" and to "not shoot again."

Nicholas then took the gun from Tyler and said, "I wanna shoot some gun," the release said. Nicholas fired four to six shots in the same direction.

The can the two men were aiming at was on top of a privacy fence. Nicholas told deputies he shot at a tree in the back yard for a "very short time" before deputies arrived.

From the spot where the men were shooting there was a clear line of sight to the home where the deputy and the homeowner were standing. The two other men present did not fire the rifle. Both brothers were arrested and transported to the Santa Rosa County Jail.

Nicholas Scott Hulick was charged with improper exhibition of a firearm, discharging a firearm in public and shooting into a dwelling. He was released on an $11,000 bond. Tyler Grant Hulick, was charged with improper exhibition of a firearm and discharging a firearm in public. He was released on a $2,000 bond.

It is true that "shock" can mask a lot of things, but this? Per The Sun ...

A mugging victim had a six inch knife plunged deep into her back — and she didn't even feel it.

Incredibly the 22-year-old, who was knifed by a mugger on her way home from work, failed to notice the appalling injury and managed to calmly stroll to safety.

The office worker had grappled with her attacker when he snatched her handbag as she walked to her parents' house in the Russian capital Moscow.

But she was so shocked by the ordeal she didn't know that the thug had buried a kitchen knife in her neck just fractions of an inch from her spinal cord.

When she got home her horrified parents rushed her to hospital where surgeons managed to remove the blade without damaging Julia's spine.

Why would prisoners be forced to play computer games? In a word: cashish. (Money). As reported by The Guardian:

As a prisoner at the Jixi labour camp, Liu Dali would slog through tough days breaking rocks and digging trenches in the open cast coalmines of north-east China. By night, he would slay demons, battle goblins and cast spells.

Liu says he was one of scores of prisoners forced to play online games to build up credits that prison guards would then trade for real money. The 54-year-old, a former prison guard who was jailed for three years in 2004 for "illegally petitioning" the central government about corruption in his hometown [wow - you get paid for that in the States], reckons the operation was even more lucrative than the physical labour that prisoners were also forced to do.

"Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labour," Liu told the Guardian. "There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5,000-6,000rmb [£470-570] a day. We didn't see any of the money. The computers were never turned off."

"If I couldn't complete my work quota, they would punish me physically. They would make me stand with my hands raised in the air and after I returned to my dormitory they would beat me with plastic pipes. We kept playing until we could barely see things," he said.

Sure, there's an old saw about "hiding in plain sight." But really, does it sound like a good idea to grow marijuana on school property? And if you're going to throw out there that it was in "a wooded area," you probably think that "hiding in plain sight" is actually a good idea. As reported by News4Jax.com:

A homeless man was arrested Monday after a school resource officer at Lake City Middle School [Florida] found several marijuana plants growing in a wooded area on school property, Columbia County deputies said.

Detectives said they were able to use surveillance of the area to find 33-year-old Damon Crosby caring for the plants.

Crosby was arrested while taking care of the plants Monday and was booked into the Columbia County Detention Facility with bail set at $16,000.

The nine marijuana plants ranged from 1 foot to 2.5 feet in height. The estimated value of the plants is more than $5,000.

... cultivation of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and trespassing on school grounds.

It's great that this dude went to the courthouse to pay a traffic ticket. But to go into the courthouse with cocaine, a syringe, and drug paraphernalia? And to have more goodies in your car? As reported by the Galveston County Daily News:

When the 30-year-old Santa Fe man pulled up to the court, which is next door to the police station, a Santa Fe police officer recognized him from a drug bust in February, Santa Fe Sgt. Eric Bruss said.

“The officer also knew (he) had a suspended driver’s license,” Bruss said.

The officer went into the courtroom to arrest the man and charge him with driving with a suspended license.

During a search after arresting the man, police said they found a syringe, a bag with less than a gram of cocaine and some drug paraphernalia, Bruss said.

A search of the man’s car uncovered a scale and materials often connected to drug sales and what police believe was a drug pipe.

Ryan Dan Wheeler, who is still facing methamphetamine possession charges from a bust three months ago, was charged with possession of a controlled substance and was being held in the county jail on $70,000 bond.

At any given time, most students dislike at least one of their teachers. That said, you can't just go around putting STAPLES in a disfavored teacher's coffee! As reported by WHSV (Virginia):

As of Tuesday, charges have been filed against a 15-year-old William Monroe High School student for allegedly putting staples in his teacher's ice coffee.

At a court hearing Monday, the teen was charged with felony adulteration of food, drink, drugs, cosmetics, etc. with the intent to kill or injure any individual who ingests, inhales or uses such substance.

The victim of the assault, a ninth grade English teacher, unknowingly drank the staple-spiked coffee May 10 but was not seriously injured.

Maj. Randall Snead, with the Greene County Sheriff's Office, reports authorities are monitoring the teacher's condition since the damage caused by the staples may not be readily apparent.

(source: e-boost consulting)

Not only did this gent have an interesting method of shoplifting shoes, but he took orders by text! As reported by www.fox41.com:

An arrest report for 36-year-old Sean A. Harrington lists him as "not employed," but some may say that's debatable after reading the description of his alleged crimes. Police say he was caught stealing merchandise from Rack Room Shoes on S. Hurstbourne Pkwy., near Six Mile Lane, on Friday afternoon. According to the report, Harrington was allegedly, "concealing shoes down the front of his pants" and left the store without paying.

From there, he allegedly proceeded to a Marshalls clothing store, and allegedly stole clothing valued at $99.95.

Police eventually caught up with Harrington and arrested him.

When a security at Rack Room Shoes reviewed their surveillance records, they discovered that Harrington had stolen a total of $539.89 worth of goods from their store between April 17 and May 20.

Upon Harrington's arrest, police were able to examine his cell phone -- and they made a significant discovery. The arrest report states that the phone, "had numerous text messages of others ordering merchandise from [Harrington], who would then go out and steal specific items."

He was charged with receipt of stolen property and theft by unlawful taking.