Squeezed On: January 18, 2012

You Offered What For Those McNuggets?

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What would you do for some nuggies? Definitely not what a California woman was willing to do, as reported by whptv.com.

Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles was seen opening customers’ car doors in the McDonald’s drive through at 1700 block of Olive Avenue about 11 p.m. Wednesday, according to the Burbank Leader. Baseer was allegedly offering to swap sexual favors for the fast food item.
A witness reported her bizarre behavior to the authorities. Baseer was arrested on suspicion of prostitution.
Yikes.

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Posted In: Extra Pulp , Just Weird , Odd Cases , Say What? , Wacky , Yikes

Squeezed On: January 17, 2012

If You Weren't Worried About Bath Salts Before ...

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Maybe you haven't heard about bath salts. Or maybe you have, and think the hype is overblown. Well, what would you say if The Juice told you that bath salts could cause you to yearn for Mike Huckabee? As reported by Northwest Florida Daily News:

According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office arrest report, Rhett Daniel Burleson broke into his father's home and was lying on the kitchen floor. Burlseon was "raving about Jesus, Mike Huckabee, and how people were 'full of [shit].' " (expletive reinserted)
The deputy asked Burlseon what was going on and he yelled that he needed to speak to Mike Huckabee and demanded that he be delivered to him.
Say what?
Burleson was talking very quickly and was speaking to someone not in the room that he claimed to be Jesus.
Burleson initially complied with the deputies allowing them to cuff him, but he suddenly began to resist and attempted to scratch one deputy's face.
[He] was arrested and charged with felony battery on an officer and felony resisting arrest with violence.
Later, deputies learned Burleson was under the influence of a synthetic drug such as spice or bath salts.
Yikes. Here's the source.

Posted by John Mesirow | | Email This Post

Posted In: Odd Cases , Say What?

Squeezed On: January 16, 2012

Shoplifting Woman Hid Shoes Where?

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If you're thinking this Crestview, Florida woman hid the shoes on her person, you're right. In her coat? Nope. Pants? Nope ... As reported by NWFDailyNews.com:

A Nov. 29 video surveillance showed the woman take clothing and pass them to the man, according to an arrest report from the Crestview Police Department. The man rolled each item and passed them back to the woman.
The woman hid a pair of shoes under her breasts. She hid the rest of the items in her purse.
Really? Under her breasts? Those were either some really small shoes or ...
The man was also seen selecting items, rolling them and handing them to the woman. He concealed one pair of pants inside his pants.
Quite the pair, no?
The couple was caught outside of the store and escorted to the back until police arrived. With an officer as a witness, the loss prevention officer asked the couple to return the items they took.
They were each charged with retail theft, a misdemeanor.
Click here for the source.

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Posted In: Best Of

Squeezed On: January 15, 2012

Oh No You Didn't Just Jack That Barbie Power Wheel Jeep

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You did. You just jacked that little girl's Barbiemobile. Curse you! As reported by Florida's nwfdailynews.com:

A Crestview woman was arrested recently after city police determined she had slipped an acquaintances granddaughter’s Barbie Power Wheel Jeep into her car, on the advice of her boyfriend.
The boyfriend then sold the little girl’s toy, valued at $75, for $20, according to a Crestview police report.
How'd they get caught?
Notified of the theft by an in-law, the victim offered to not go to the police if the thief would return the Barbie Power Wheel Jeep within 24 hours.
A nice offer but ...
The Barbie Power Wheel Jeep had already been sold, according to the police report.
So ...
The victim went to the police.
Here's the source.

Posted by John Mesirow | | Email This Post

Posted In: Best Of , Juice Drops

Squeezed On: January 14, 2012

Can One Man Stop A Speeding Locomotive?

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The answer is "yes," one man can stop a speeding locomotive. Is it a good idea? Nope. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A 26-year-old man accused Thursday of standing on railroad tracks in the area of Northeast Palmetto Drive and causing a train to make an emergency stop was arrested, according to an affidavit released Friday.
Joseph Robert Fabrey was arrested by a Martin County Sheriff's deputy on a felony unauthorized person interfering with railroad train charge and a misdemeanor trespass on property charge.
The train conductor pointed to Fabrey and said he stood in the middle of the railroad tracks as the train approached. The engineer repeatedly used the horn and had to stop the train.
A worker identified as an assistant road master said Fabrey was standing on the tracks and stepped off "at the last minute," according to the report.
Yikes. A felony. And the defense?
Fabrey ... denied standing on the tracks.
No doubt that defense will prevail against the engineer and the assistant road master ... Here's the source, including a mug shot.

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Posted In: Odd Cases , Say What?

Squeezed On: January 13, 2012

Hey, Swan, You Talkin' To Me? You Betta Not Be Talkin' To Me!

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What kind of person would rough up a swan? Well, this kind of person, as reported by myfoxorlando.com:

A man is behind bars after police say he roughed up a swan. John Wynne is accused of grabbing a swan by the neck from Lake Eola. Orlando Police arrested him for animal cruelty and grand theft. He is being held in the Orange County Jail on $1,000.00 bond.
Totally uncool. Here's the source, including a mug shot.

Posted by John Mesirow | | Email This Post

Posted In: Odd Cases , Say What? , Uncool

Squeezed On: January 12, 2012

Stiffing This Stripper? Bad Idea

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The Juice has not had a "booth" dance (uh, yeah, sure, right), but he can't believe a stripper would give one without getting the cashish first. Well this stripper did, unfortunately for all parties concerned. As reported by cnews.canoe.ca:

A stripper will spend the next nine months in jail for smashing a beer bottle over the head of a customer who refused to pay her. Tamara Valcourt was sentenced this week for the Dec. 1 attack at the Chez Venus bar.
Crown prosecutor Julie Gagne said Valcourt attacked the man as he was leaving the strip club without paying the $100 he owed for a booth dance.
"The defendant struck the victim with a beer bottle," said Gagne. "(He was hit) behind the ear and suffered a deep, four-centimetre cut."
The Crown and the defence [she pleaded guilty] agreed that Valcourt should serve an additional nine months on top of the 36 days already served. She was also slapped with two years' probation and has been barred from the Venus club.
Any priors? Well ...
The judge took into account the stripper's prior criminal record that included convictions for obstructing police in 2006 and assault in 2007.
Yikes. Here's the source.

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Posted In: Odd Cases , Yikes

Squeezed On: January 11, 2012

You Are Not Keeping That Guy In Jail For Chalking The Sidewalk!

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Just to be clear, we're talking about using chalk to write on the sidewalk. In Orlando, that can land you in jail. Really. Just ask Timothy Osmar. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

Just before Christmas, OPD [Orlando Police Department] arrested 25-year-old Timothy Osmar for "writing or painting advertising matter on streets or sidewalks"
The criminal "advertising" in question? Slogans like "Justice Equals Liberty."
Advertisting? Really? UFB, as is this ...
As of Friday, Osmar was still in jail ..
Through Christmas and New Year's! Mayor Dyer?
Dyer's office was unapologetic, saying city codes clearly outlaw chalk writing.
Please, tell me this guy isn't a lawyer. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Posted In: Juice Drops , Odd Cases , Say What? , Uncool

Squeezed On: January 10, 2012

Karma Wasted No Time With This Gent

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Even for those who believe in Karma, The Juice doubts you think it's this instantaneous. How instantaneous? Check out this dude who tried to skip out on his bar tab, as reported by www.phillyburbs.com:

Police said the man, who may be from Honduras, was asked to leave the Sandbar [in New Hope, Pennsylvania] shortly after 6 p.m. Saturday. He was handed his bill and asked to pay, but after receiving the bill ran out the back door, police said. He fled across Waterloo Street and somehow fell over a wall onto water covered rocks below.
The man, whose name was not released Saturday night, was pulled from an area of the shoreline not easily accessible from above by a team of firefighters aboard a rescue boat. He was brought to shore and taken to St. Mary Medical Center in Middletown.
Do you believe?

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Posted In: Extra Pulp , Odd Cases

Squeezed On: January 9, 2012

Of Course The Judge's Name Is "Willie"

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Hmmm. The Juice was working on this post and thought this name sounded familiar, so he checked the archives of 1,854 Legal Juice posts and found this one about Judge Willie F. Singletary. The story on philly.com was now not so surprising.

The state Supreme Court yesterday canned Philadelphia Traffic Court Judge Willie F. Singletary, suspending him without pay after he allegedly showed a woman cellphone pictures of his genitalia two weeks ago.
Yikes.
But this isn't the first time Singletary has made headlines. In 2007 his driver's license was suspended for unpaid tickets [a BOATLOAD of them - see Juice post above], and two years later he was reprimanded for promising favors in exchange for campaign donations.
That's quite a record in just the past 5 years.
Yesterday, the Supreme Court ordered that Singletary be "relieved of any and all judicial and administrative responsibilities as a judge of the Philadelphia Traffic Court."
Might consider another line of work.

Posted by John Mesirow | | Email This Post

Posted In: Here Comes the Judge , Say What? , Uncool , Yikes

Juice Drops

You Just Locked Your Car With Your Remote, So You're Good, Right?
Almost everyone uses the remote control on their car key to lock the car. And it's then alarmed too. What a great technology! Remotes have really come a long way. So you're safe, right? Well, no. And here's why, per wmbfnews.com: Apparently thieves are targeting those keyless entry remotes
So, What Are You In For?
That's not a question this man will want to answer. Why? Because the answer is ... dognapping. As reported by The Sun Sentinel: A canine con man was busted Wednesday after trying to extort an $8,000 cash ransom from a North Naples woman in exchange for her two white
As Ye Post, So Shall Ye Reap
Maybe it's because texting or posting something on Facebook, or leaving a voice mail message (Mel Gibson!) is so easy. Whatever the reason, people really do a lot of stupid things with technology. A recent example is brought to you by The Belleville (Illinois) News-Democrat. An Alton man faces
Man's Car Gets Rammed, Has Laser-Like Focus On ...
Someone hits your car on purpose. Of course, you get all the pertinent information. If you're this guy, that would not be the license plate, type of car, etc. Per sfgate.com:A woman intentionally rammed her car into a man’s car while arguing over a parking spot in the Haight,
Of All The Places To Relieve Yourself ...
...The Juice would put "in front of the police station" near the bottom of the list. Of course, the calculus changes, when, like a 40-year-old Appleton, Wisconsin man, you have consumed so much booze that your blood-alcohol level is 4 times the legal limit. He was busted for ...
Bakery Burglar Caught By Leaving A Trail Of ...
If you guessed that this bakery burglar was caught because he left a trail of crumbs, you'd be ... wrong! Per the The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario): After breaking into a bakery in the area of Barton Street East and Sherman Avenue North Sunday night, a bumbling burglar left a
Wait, They Have Surveillance Cameras Watching Us Cashiers? Don't They Trust Us?
Most folks know there are cameras EVERYWHERE. The US is becoming more like the UK this way with each passing day. Apparently this Florida woman is not aware of the phenomenon. Per the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office: A Charlotte County Sheriff's deputy arrested a Port Charlotte Target employee Tuesday
It's Generally Not A Good Idea To Call 911 When You're Lit
In the world of 911 operators, this probably wasn't even that wacky of a call. Still, it was really stupid. It's almost like you'd have to be drunk to do something this dumb. Per clickorlando.com: A Brevard County mother was arrested after she called 911 and asked dispatchers to
Prosecutor Drops F-Bombs, Unfortunately For Him - In A Voicemail To Defense Counsel
&@#$#@)+&!!!! Everyone has thought about cussing someone out. Lots of us have done it. Not so many have done it on another attorney's voicemail. A longtime prosecutor in Clark County, Washington sure wishes he hadn't. As reported in The Columbian ... A 27-year veteran attorney of the Clark County
Strip Search? Ha!
People trying to sneak stuff into jail is not news. You can probably guess one of the techniques that is frequently attempted. Well here's a new one, at least new to The Juice. As reported by North Country Now (New York): A Moira woman has been arrested for allegedly
Yeah, You Know You've Thought About It
Admit it. You've thought about it. Some jackass steals your parking spot. You want blood (or at least some bruising). But you don't do anything because ... it's a parking spot. Well, one of both of these gents felt otherwise, per timesonline.com (Beaver, PA): [Franklin] Township police said officers
Epic Thermostat Battle
In probably every household, there is disagreement regarding the desirable thermostat temperature. In almost every household, a compromise is reached. In this household, not so much. These sisters, who share a home, got into it over one degree. As reported by The Chicago Tribune: Ilona Sales and Wanda Lupina
Do Not Mess With This Woman's Remote!
You've probably heard someone say that TV is like a drug. Well, this story certainly bolsters that notion. Per the Northwest Florida Daily News: Natasha Lynn Head, a 34-year-old Fort Walton Beach woman, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after she picked up a knife and
Smells Like Fake Insanity
Per the St. Petersburg Times: To prove he's incompetent to stand trial on multiple felony charges, Robert Sinclaire Lee hid a razor in his mouth and used it to cut his wrist in court. He smeared feces on his face. And Monday, he entered a courtroom with feces hidden
Maryland: No Condoms In Nursery School!
The Juice really doesn't know where to start with this Maryland law, so here it is: A person may not sell or offer for sale a contraceptive device, whether or not advertised as a prophylactic, by means of a vending machine or other automatic device at a kindergarten, nursery
A Very Strange Fighting Style Indeed
It's a big world, and there are lots of different fighting styles - boxing, kung fu, jujitsu (jiu-jitsu), MMA, taekwondo, to name a few. And then there's this gent's fighting style, unlikely to be replicated by anyone, ever. As reported by The Santa Cruz Sentinel: A 24-year-old Santa Cruz
Um, Has Anyone Seen My Glock?
This is not a question a court security officer should be asking. But hey, what are you supposed to do with that thing when you go to the restroom? Clearly, not this. As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader: According to New Hampshire State Police, officers from Troop
Today's Installment Of "Judge The Judge"
Judges can do many things to end up facing discipline. They can skip out on work too much. They can treat parties poorly. They can disrespect lawyers who appear before them. Or, as a Pennsylvania disciplinary court found regarding Allentown District Judge Maryesther Merlo, all of the above, per
Maybe It's Just A Football Game To You ...
Sometimes "fans" truly are "fanatics." Something happened during the Falcons-Seahawks game this weekend that set a strange chain of events in motion. Per tcpalm.com: According to an arrest affidavit, the family was watching the game when the 56-year-old Crawford made rude comments about an unidentified player. That led to
Should Have Stolen The Computer Too ...
Who burgles a joint and leaves a perfectly good laptop behind? And in case you're wondering, it was out in the open, as you will soon see. As reported by tcpalm.com: In a case police are calling unique, a homeowner used his laptop computer video camera to capture a
Do You Think The Kid Should Have Been Arrested?
The Juice wasn't there, but that's never stopped him from passing judgment before. This seems like a harmless prank. What do you think? As reported by The Sun News (at Cleveland.com): A Northfield boy, 17, was arrested Dec. 17 and charged with disorderly conduct after he alarmed shoppers at
What Can Happen To You If You Don't Hold The Door Open For A Lady?
The Juice is a believer in some old-fashioned notions, like men holding the elevator door open for women. Too bad a fellow in Boston, Mohammed Warsame, is not likeminded. Here's why, as reported by The Boston Herald: A Roxbury man was slopped with a plate of pasta, punched, kicked,
Dad Gets Busted For Spraying "Liquid Ass" In School
Yes folks, you read that correctly. As reported by detroit.cbslocal.com: Jason Festerman was called to school after his son was suspended for spraying prank item Liquid Ass in his classroom. Ads claim Liquid Ass is a “power–packed, super–concentrated liquid (that) begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine,
What Is It With McDonald's Customers?
In another installment of "Curse you, McDonald's!", a woman at a McDonald's in Kansas City just LOST it over her hamburger order. As reported by KMBC-TV: On Dec. 27, a woman at the McDonald's at 3255 Main St. was upset about her order and returned her hamburger twice, demanding
You Think YOU Are A Hardcore Giants' Fan? Fuhgeddaboutit!
Hardcore fans of the New York Giants were not feeling good after their team lost to the Redskins on Monday. Hopefully, though, only one took it this hard. As reported by The Star-Banner (Ocala, Florida): Authorities say a Silver Springs Shores man upset that the Redskins had beaten the
No, You Couldn't Just Burgle The Joint ...
The Juice yearns for the good old days, when robbers and burglars used to just rob and burgle. Alas, it appears we shan't be returning to those days. Previously, we learned about the Beanie Baby robber. Today, it's the fish-killing robbers. Per the TribLocal: Three goldfish were killed when
Someone Is A Little Too Attached To Her Phone
It seems that this young lady is a little too attached to her phone. As reported by TCPalm.com: While cleaning the house the mother found [18-year-old] Jennifer Natale's cellphone. The mother said she took the phone because the teen was not being truthful about where she received the phone,
Dumbest Attempted Robbery Ever? You Be The Judge.
The weapon of choice? An umbrella. The location of the attempted robbery - a Burger King drive-thru! As reported by The Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana): According to Allen Superior Court documents, [Amanda M.] Ringler [27] pointed an umbrella at an employee through the drive-thru window and demanded money.
Nobody Likes Slow Drivers, But Seriously?
Hell, The Juice himself is not the most patient driver. Suffice it to say that, if his car were miked, there would have to be a serious delay, with someone's finger always on the button. But this dude in Houston? He either has an incredibly short fuse, was in
Taser-Proof Man? Not Quite, Though It Took Quite A Few Jolts
Why chase a non-violent suspect who is the subject of a "suspicious person" call when you can just Tase him? If you don't know that The Juice is opposed to the frequent overuse of Tasers, then you must be a new reader. (Scroll down this page, and in the
I Told You We Shouldn't Have Taken That One!
It stinks when your car breaks down. It really stinks when you borrow someone else's car, and it breaks down. It really, really stinks when you steal someone else's car, and it breaks down, and ... Per the Colorado Springs Police Department:Shortly after completing an unrelated call for service,
You Do NOT Want To Get Between This Woman And Her Chicken Nuggets!
This woman either had a serious case of the munchies, is just filled with rage, or is an alien sent to earth specifically to gather chicken nuggets. As reported by WNWO in Toledo, Ohio: Toledo Police say Melodi Dushane, 24, stopped at the fast-food restaurant at Front and Main
Maybe If Police Officers Read Legal Juice, This Wouldn't Keep Happening!
Why should police officer read Legal Juice? If they did, they would know, as all regular Juice readers do, that the Constitution allows folks to flip them off, and to cuss. Sure, they can make an arrest, but in the end, the flipper or cusser will be walking away
You Did Not Just Ban Halloween Costumes
Some people just seem intent on sucking all of the joy out of life. Here's a case in point, as reported by The Seattle Times: The staff at Lafayette Elementary School in West Seattle has decided to uphold its decision not to allow students to dress up for Halloween
You Can Run, Bu, You Won't Get Very Far ... IN THE COURTHOUSE!
Running from the authorities? Not a good idea. Running from the authorities in the courthouse? Doh! Per wane.com: It happened Tuesday in Tampa. A 25-year-old man in a purple shirt refused to sign his paperwork in a court case. Surveillance video shows the man took off running through the
So You're Saying Ministers, Priests And Atheists Can't Serve In The Tennessee House?
Do you think these provisions of the Tennessee Constitution might be unconstitutional? ARTICLE IX Disqualifications. Section 1. Whereas ministers of the Gospel are by their profession, dedicated to God and the care of souls, and ought not to be diverted from the great duties of their functions; therefore, no
You Really Arrested Her For Cussing?
You just can't go around arresting people for cussing, or you may be ponying up, as this Georgia city discovered. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution: Community activist Mary Kirkendoll grew so frustrated with Smyrna’s town hall question-and-answer session, she stood up and began to leave. Before she got
Dear, Can You Believe How Well Our New Plant Is Doing?
At a boot sale, which is roughly the equivalent of a swap meet, an elderly couple must have been delighted with the lovely plant they purchased. Certainly it was treated quite well, as evidenced by its incredible growth. So why is this Juiceworthy? As reported by the BBC: An
Something A Saudi Boss Definitely Should Not Say To His Employees
You're the new boss. You want to let your employees know that you're in charge. If you're in Saudi Arabia, this is NOT the way to do it. As reported by Emirates 24/7: The new manager at the mall in the western Red Sea port of Jeddah met the
That's My Story, And I'm Sticking With It!
Forget about "I only had 2 drinks ..." or "I was looking for the Easter Bunny..." Wait, that's what this dude said he was doing. As reported by The Union Leader: John Fowler, 50 ... claimed a man had come to his house with information about the location of
Not The Best Landlords
Certainly it's natural to want to maximize one's real estate investment. But we are still, for the most part, a nation of laws. San Francisco landlords Kip and Nicole Macy apparently didn't care much about the law. They were trying to clear out a 6-unit building they bought in
"I'm Not The Best Criminal"
That may be an understatement. Sure, if you're in jail, maybe it's not a big deal to steal from another inmate. But what about stealing a computer from the jail? Yup. Per the Kalamazoo Gazette:Kalamazoo County Circuit Judge Gary Giguere Jr. sentenced [Western Michigan University student William K.] Bradley
You Do Know That 911 Is Not A Confession Hotline, Right?
You call 911 when you are in trouble, not when you're going to cause trouble. Who doesn't know that? Well, there is this one guy ... As reported by Lancasteronline.com: At 11:45 a.m., [52-year-old Dennis] Auker called 911 and said he was going to beat up his neighbor and
Truth: It's Illegal For 12-Year-Olds To Trick Or Treat Here
In Newport News, Virginia, and some other fun-loving locales across the country, it is illegal for anyone over the age of eleven to trick or treat! This is truly one of the dumbest laws The Juice has encountered (and that's saying something). Here's the law: Sec. 28-5. - Prohibited
A Very Strange Case Of Road Rage
When you think of road rage, you think about aggressive driving, or maybe even someone pulling a weapon, right? But this? You would not think of this. Ever. Per BeeNews.com (New York): Police responded to a road rage incident on Union Road. Reportedly, two motorists were spitting on each

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Legal Juice honored by ABA Journal as top 100 blawg

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