Legal Juice

That older man over there, do you know what he used to do? He looks vulnerable, but ... A couple of young men learned that a certain 62-year-old still has it. As reported by TheLocal.se:

Gray-haired and requiring the use of a rollator to get around, Rolf Klasson certainly didn't give the impression that he would put up a fight when two young men approached him on Tuesday in central Lidköping.

Klasson was about to take out money from a cash machine when one of the hoodlums demanded the elderly gentlemen give up his wallet, while the other brandished a knife, the local Nya-Lidköpings Tidning (NLT) reported.

What Klasson's attackers didn't know was that their seemingly helpless victim was a retired professional boxer who had once been a sparring partner for Bo 'Bosse' Högberg, who held the European light-middleweight boxing title in 1966.

"I said to them, 'this isn't going to go well'," he told the Expressen newspaper.

But the two young men simply scoffed at the old man's warning, something they would soon regret.

Before the pair of cocky thugs knew what had happened, Klasson knocked the knife-wielding thief to the ground with a right hook.

"Then I laid out the other with a left jab," he told Expressen.

Both men fled the scene, still in shock at having been decked by a man who was likely more than twice their age and required assistance to get around town.

Margita Johansson of the Lidköping police praised the former boxer for his efforts.

"It was well done. One does have the right to defend oneself," she told NLT.

"They came after the wrong guy."

You get the idea. This guy was hellbent on getting him some Captain Morgan. Could he have been so focused on the task at hand that he forgot to get dressed? Perhaps, although it's more likely that he was just already plastered. Anyway, as reported by The Naples Daily News (naplesnews.com):

The [14-year-old] girl told Lee County sheriff’s deputies she was at her home in the 6700 block of Magnolia Lane, Fort Myers, when she heard someone in the kitchen.

According to Lee arrest reports, she left her bedroom, went to the kitchen, and found 47-year-old Kennan Kluesener of Eustis naked and bent over in the pantry taking a bottle of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum.

Terrified, she ran back to her room where she heard him use the telephone before leaving the house.

The girl’s father told deputies he was doing yard work out back when his daughter informed him there was someone in the house. Reports say the father found Kluesener naked in his front yard. A neighbor was inside his home when his dogs began barking.

According to reports, the neighbor saw Kluesener in the front yard and retrieved his gun. Once outside, he saw Kluesener naked in the neighbor’s front yard and detained him at gunpoint until deputies arrived.

Kluesener is facing charges of burglary of an occupied dwelling and petit theft.

It may not be the oldest trick in the book, but it's on the list. As reported by The Florida Times-Union (jacksonville.com):

Jacksonville police are looking to find a man who attempted to rob a Gate gas station on 103rd Street Monday morning.

About 3 a.m., a man with a plastic bag over his head walked behind the counter and ordered the clerk to "open the register and give me all the money," according to a report from the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office.

The man had a pointed object protruding from his shirt.

... the clerk immediately realized it was the man's finger and said, "I'm not giving you anything," according to the report.

The would-be robber then turned his attention to a customer.

He told the customer to give up all of his money and, "[t]he customer laughed at the suspect," according to the report.

The suspect was last seen heading northbound on foot from the business at 7023 103rd St.

It's good when high school students do odd jobs to earn a little extra money, right? This story might make you change your mind, or at least ask what the "jobs" are. As reported by ktla.com:

Charles Hersel was arrested in 2009 during a sting operation at a Thousand Oaks mall.

Westlake High School students said Hersel paid them to yell profanities, spit and slap his face, according to officials.

Several students also said he offered them cash to urinate and defecate on him, Ventura County sheriff's detectives said.

Hersel was charged with four counts of annoying and molesting a child.

During the trial Hersel's lawyer, Ron Bamieh, admitted the 41-year old paid more than a dozen teenagers to do those acts, but said the acts were not for sexual gratification.

Last week, jurors acquitted Hersel of all charges.

He was facing a year in jail and would have been required to register as a sex offender.

Good things come to those who wait? So maybe that wouldn't have been the case here, since our perp was waiting in line at the KFC/Taco Bell drive-through... Still, patience is a virtue. Impatience, at least when manifested this way, is criminal. As reported by tampabay.com:

Jennifer Lynn Betterly was angry at how long the woman in front of her was taking to order food in the drive-through lane Saturday evening.

So after screaming at her, police said, Betterly repeatedly rammed her Ford Focus into the woman's car, then drove off.

Betterly, 24, was arrested at 6:45 p.m. Saturday, about an hour after the incident at the KFC/Taco Bell at 1648 Missouri Ave. S, according to an arrest report. She was driving with a suspended license, and police found a prescription pill bottle containing a single pill of the sleep aid Ambien. The label was torn, and she was unable to prove the pill was prescribed for her, according to the report.

Betterly faces felony charges of aggravated battery and possession of a controlled substance, in addition to misdemeanor charges of driving with a suspended license, reckless driving and leaving the scene of a crash.

The Juice understands that sometimes it's hard to just walk away. This was NOT one of those times... As reported by ObserverToday.com (New York):

Maria K. Sams, 18, of McDonough Street, Dunkirk was charged with second-degree harassment and littering on Feb. 11. Police responded to a fight at McDonald's but the fight had broken up before police had arrived. When asked to leave the restaurant, Sams threw down a paper cup while walking away. When being arrested for littering, she became resistant and combative kicking an officer in the face. She was released on $100 bail.

When some folks are ready for supper, there's just no telling what they'll do if it's not ready. What this fella allegedly did will make it very difficult for his wife to prepare dinner for him, at least in the near future. From the Charleston (West Virginia) Daily Mail:

A Sissonville man who was upset that dinner wasn't ready set fire to his home Sunday, according to the Kanawha County Sheriff's Department.

Deputy A.J. Miller responded to 19452 Derrick's Creek Road just before midnight after Beverly Jones called to report that her husband, Guy, 60, had started the fire.

Jones said her husband returned home after drinking and was upset because she didn't have dinner on the table. After an argument, Jones fled to a neighbor's home. She told deputies she saw flames coming from the basement and her husband exiting the basement door.

Miller said the home was engulfed in flames when he arrived. Jones was arrested and charged with first-degree arson. He was taken to South Central Regional Jail.

So this 78-year-old woman thinks her 84-year-old husband had an affair 35 years ago. What did she do? As reported by The Daily Herald:

The woman allegedly told police she pushed her husband down and hit him with a bowl and a metal pipe. Investigators recovered the woman's diary in which she allegedly wrote, "I beat him again." The diary described how she hit her husband with a carpet sweeper and went after him with a knife. The diary entry also stated that "I told him it would be worth going to jail just to watch him bleed to death," [Snohomish County deputy prosecutor Valerie] Shapiro wrote.

A witness told police the woman admitted that she had kicked her husband three times in the groin over the last six months because she believed he'd had an affair 35 years ago, according to court documents.

The man suffered several broken ribs, a shattered pelvis and a fractured wrist, ... Shapiro wrote in court documents.

Yes, Juice readers, this is still on the books, like all laws The Juice writes about.

860.11 - Injuring railroad structures; driving cattle on tracks.—Whoever ... salts the track of any railroad company for the purpose of attracting cattle thereto ... shall be guilty of a felony of the second degree ...

If you think your parents ever embarrassed you, step aside, and let this girl through. She is clearly at the front of the line. As reported by thelocal.de:

A German judge has dismissed a lawsuit by a couple of swingers after their 15-year-old daughter discovered a video of them in a sex club with their faces undisguised on the website of TV channel RTL.

The production company responsible for producing the report for RTL had meant to pixelate the couple’s faces but forgot, according to a report in the Süddeutsche Zeitung on Thursday.

The swinging parents wanted compensation for the alleged pain and suffering their family faced after the embarrassing revelations.

... the presiding judge said that in order to proceed with the lawsuit, the girl would have had to appear in court to testify and describe her shock – something he said she should be spared.

“I wouldn’t want be in your shoes,” he told the parents, according to the Süddeutsche. "That's simply embarrassing."

He explained that the parents weren’t due compensation because they had agreed to the filming in the first place and the production mistake had been an honest one.

[The judge] suggested a compromise: That the production company and RTL pay the parents a small fee for their appearance and cover their legal expenses of about €3,000 [euros].

After all, he said, the fact that real people could say “this is what these people look like” probably made the show even more successful than normal.