Articles Posted in Oops

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Two Girls hiding behind Straw Bale in Field

You rob a bank and you get away. Of course you wouldn’t go to any of your known haunts, or … would you? As reported by NJ Advance Media for NJ.com:

Within hours of publicizing photos from bank surveillance after a TD Bank robbery, more than a dozen tipsters recognized a 30-year-old Lakehurst man and contacted the police.

So they id’d him, but where was he? Funny you should ask …

Jerome Gilby, 30, was taken into custody at his girlfriend’s house Monday afternoon for the July 10 robbery that occurred at 10 Mule Road in Toms River, police said.

Your girlfriend’s house? Really? Why not just go to your own house? As for the details …

At approximately 6:45 p.m. last Friday, a man entered the TD Bank and handed the teller a note demanding cash. He then fled on foot into an unknown direction.

“Investigators from the FBI, Ocean County Sheriff’s Department CSI Unit, Lakehurst Police, Brick Police, and the Seaside Heights Police Department worked closely to track down the whereabouts of Gilby,” a Toms River Police Department press release said.

The robber was described by authorities as a white male, 25-35 years old, 5-foot-9 and around 170 pounds. He was wearing a black Chicago Bulls Starter hat with a “doo rag” underneath and white sunglasses.

Gilby is being held on $100,000 bail with no 10 percent option.

Click here for the source, which includes a mug shot.

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number ten 10 address

I’m not drunk! I know where I live! It’s No. 10 right there. Well, not exactly. As reported in The Moultrie News Police Blotter:

A drunk guy got a ride home one night to his apartment and told the driver he lived in apartment No. 10, according to a report.

He got a ride home! Excellent.

The guy went to the door and the female driver tried to use his key to open his door for him, but it would not work. She then knocked and the real person who lived in that particular apartment opened the door, the report said.

The driver asked the resident if she knew the man and she said she did not.

At this point, the driver told the man not to go anywhere and she ran to her car to get something. The resident had closed and locked her door at this point.

Hmm.

When the driver came back, she saw that the drunk man had kicked in the door, according to the report.

Police were called and noted that the man was extremely intoxicated.

They could not get any clear answers from him, but did determine he lived in apartment No. 10, just not in this particular building, the report said.

Doh!

The property management company agreed to press charges for damages to the door and the suspect was hauled off to jail for drunkenness in public, where the doors are too strong to kick in.

 

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shopping cart

Admittedly there aren’t a lot of plausible explanations for shoplifting. Nevertheless, this one is a real doozy.  As reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

An Orangeburg woman was charged with shoplifting at the Walmart on North Road.

Walmart Loss Prevention personnel said the woman attempted to take $487 in groceries and merchandise Tuesday.

A deputy spoke with the woman, who said she attempted to leave the store with the items because she was under the impression that the man who was with her earlier paid for the goods, according to a police incident report.

How is that even possible with groceries? Did “the man” bag them too?

 

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This so strange, you probably just assumed it happened in Florida.  Alas, this odd series of events took place in Ireland. As reported by The Irish Times:

A prisoner in Mountjoy Prison was stranded on a roof of the prison campus for nearly seven hours on Tuesday after climbing up the building to retrieve a bag of drugs.

The Irish Prison Service is investigating how the man, who is serving three and half years for producing an article during the course of a dispute, managed to gain access to the roof area of a building in the Mountjoy Prison Campus.

The man climbed the building to retrieve a package of drugs which was caught in the netting over the prison’s exercise yard but was unable to get back down.

A spokesman for the Irish Prison Service confirmed there was no risk that the inmate could have gained access to the perimeter of the prison as the building in question is located in an internal yard on the campus.

Nice plan. And if you’re thinking “Hmm, a man alone on a roof for seven hours with his drugs …”

The man, who was removed from the roof at around 8pm on Tuesday, is believed to have been heavily under the influence of drugs having consumed all of the contents of the package.

You were apparently correct! Any more time for that?

The prisoner will be subject to internal disciplinary procedures. An investigation has been launched to try to ascertain how the man accessed the roof and who was responsible for throwing the drugs in from outside the prison walls.

Maybe not. Who knows what “internal disciplinary procedures” means. Click here for the source.

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police badge

You could go online and get red and blue lights and put them in your grill. Presto, you are now driving an unmarked cop car. That’s the game this guy was playing. (Hopefully it was just a game, and not something nefarious, not that the judge is likely to care.) Anyway, if this gent ever saw Casablanca, he would be Humphrey Bogart (he wishes), saying “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” As reported by khou.com:

Flashing red and blue lights on the front grill of a truck caught one officer off-guard Wednesday afternoon, on SH 249 in Tomball.

“I thought it was an unmarked police vehicle,” said Sgt,. Rebecca Carlisle, with Tomball Police.

It almost fooled Carlisle, when she saw them in her rear view mirror.

In case you missed it, that was “Sgt. Rebecca Carlisle” the wannabe pulled over.

“My initial instinct was oh my God! What am I doing to get pulled over?” said Carlisle.

But the sergeant, who was in her full uniform, quickly knew something was wrong.

“Well I’m not speeding. I’m in the city I work in, and I don’t recognize the vehicle.”

Carlisle told KHOU 11 News that she rolled down her window and waived the suspect over.

Uh-oh. You in trouble now.

Tomball police say when 21-year-old Bennjair Pina-Torres pulled his white truck alongside, something spooked him and he sped off.

Carlisle followed and called for backup. She said the suspect was speeding at times, faster than 100 mph, running red lights and running people off the road.

“It scared the death of out of me.”

At one point, the Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office and Precinct 5 Constables Office were notified.

“He still got his red and blues on the grill. A precinct five constable initiates a traffic stop and they take him into custody,” said Tomball PD Captain, Rickey Dorre.

And if you think this guy is a serial offender … you would be wrong.

Pina-Torres is charged with impersonating a peace officer, a 3rd degree felony. According to Tomball PD, he has no prior record.

Here’s the source, with video.

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baseball batter player hitting ball hit

Call me crazy, but shouldn’t you run a criminal background check before you give someone the job, especially one involving children? Er, uh, yup! Fortunately this gent’s crime only involved money.  Per The Shreveport Times:

Bossier Sheriff Julian Whittington says a Haughton man is wanted on felony theft charges for defrauding parents, youth and sponsors by stealing nearly $3,000 from a youth baseball league.

Well, he said he didn’t have a criminal record!

Robert Martin III, 25, of the 2100 block of Rogers Ln. in Haughton, applied with Haughton Dixie Baseball League to be a coach for the spring season. He quickly started accepting payments from parents and sponsors for baseball uniforms, t-shirts, belts and socks. Unbeknownst to them, Martin schemed to take the money and run. Although Martin had indicated on his coaching application in late February that he didn’t have a criminal record, the league discovered through a routine background investigation in March that Martin had a prior criminal history, making him ineligible to coach the children. League leadership immediately contacted Martin to have him return the funds and any equipment, but he never showed up.

Bossier detectives soon began their investigation and determined Martin had cashed checks he had received from parents and sponsors. Others had given him cash. In total, he swindled the group for $2,897.00.

Doh! That is one well-run league. As for “the coach” …

A warrant was issued for his arrest on April 10, and he has continued to elude authorities. Martin is wanted for felony theft charges and faces a $5,000 bond.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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license plate tag

It’s unclear how these gents aroused the suspicion of the cops, but they did. A plate check later and, well, the rest is history. As reported in the police blotter of The Highline Times:

According to the Burien Police department, two men were arrested after police spotted them waiting outside a uniform retailer in Tukwila. The incident took place on Friday, April 10, when two Burien Police Department detectives arrived at a police uniform retailer off highway 99 in Tukwila and spotted two men acting suspiciously outside of the store. The detectives ran a check on the license plate numbers of the Jeep the two men were sitting in and discovered that it was a stolen vehicle. When two additional officers from the King County Sheriff’s Department arrived to visit the uniform retailer, the Burien detectives decided to confront the men in the Jeep. The two men were arrested without incident for possession of a stolen vehicle but it is unclear why the men were waiting outside of the police uniform retailer.

Doh!

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nesting doll

Why not just see how many stolen things you can try and put inside of each other? Then it’s like you only have to walk out with one stolen thing! This young lady didn’t take it that far. Regardless, it didn’t work. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A 19-year-old Alabama woman was caught trying to shoplift alcohol by sneaking it out in a stolen purse, according to Crestview Police Department.

According to the arrest report, Carlie Raybon, of Opp, Ala., was in Wal-Mart on May 20 when the asset protection associate saw her take a black handbag and two alcoholic beverages from inside the store.

The associate told officers that Raybon put the two drinks into the handbag and then tried to leave the store.

The report states the total cost of the stolen property was $11.97.  The teen is charged with misdemeanor retail theft.

Here’s the source.

 

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law books lawyer treatise legal research

Law school is really expensive, and it takes three years. So how can you avoid it, and still be a lawyer? Well, just say you are a lawyer. That’s what this woman did, apparently quite well, as reported by newser.com:

A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade and made partner at her small firm before her fraud was discovered, according to charges announced yesterday. Kimberly Kitchen was charged Thursday with forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. State prosecutors contend Kitchen fooled BMZ Law by forging a law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school, and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The firm is based in Huntingdon, about 110 miles east of Pittsburgh. Kitchen, of nearby James Creek, handled estate planning for more than 30 clients “despite never having attended law school,” the attorney general’s office says.

She even served as president of her county bar, says her lawyer, who adds that “she’s an incredibly competent person, and she worked very diligently and was devoted to the people she served. There are things about the charges we don’t agree with.” But the Huntington County Bar Association’s current president called the charges insufficient given “the level of betrayal” over 10 years. Local lawyers were the first to raise questions about Kitchen’s credentials; in December, when the Huntingdon Daily News first reported on the case, the firm vowed to review her work. Kitchen, 45, was previously employed at Juniata College, where she worked in fundraising but “started holding herself out to be a lawyer,” says a senior deputy attorney. She’s married to a state conservation ranger and is no longer working, her lawyer says.

Shazam! Looks like those 30+ clients will be getting some free estate planning – from an actual lawyer. Here’s the source. 

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brick wall foundation

Was it “Wait, I thought we tested the soil?” or “Soil, shmoil. It looks fine to me. Build it!” It’s unclear what happened because the case of the sliding house has not yet gone to trial … but it’s headed there now. As reported by NJ Advance Media for NJ.com:

A $7.4 million judgment for the owner of a Florham Park house that is gradually sliding down a hill was thrown out by an appellate court last month. But another appeal may still bring it to the New Jersey Supreme Court.

The initial $7.4 million award was made to homeowner Humayun Akhtar in 2011 when a judge reached a summary judgment without hearing the arguments of the defendants: JDN Properties, Joseph D. Natale, Deltrus LLC, and Randy DeLuca, said the attorney for Natale.

“He improperly suppressed the answers,” said David Stanziale, the lawyer for Natale. “We’re very happy now that Mr. Natale’s going to have his day in court.”

Yes, it’s sliding down the hill! Probably should have tested that soil.

The Akhtars paid $1.56 million to build the home on Beacon Hill Road, according to court documents. The architect’s plan called for testing of the soil, but that testing was never done. The owners closed on the house, but then heard from a plumber doing work on the property that the house was “sliding,” according to the records. The Akhtars never moved in, and the house remains unoccupied, said the attorneys.

The appellate judges overturned the award on Feb. 24, saying that the Consumer Fraud Act and the triple damages that come with it did not apply, since a failure to test soil at the site was not “fraud” — but just potentially a “breach of warranty.”

Akhtar and his wife, however, will petition the New Jersey Supreme Court to try and make the Consumer Fraud Act — and its increased penalties — stick, said their attorney, Jay Rice.

You’ll find photos of the house, and the source, here.