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Here’s how Georgia Dr. Totada R. Shanthaveerappa promoted his “Integrated Medical Specialists” and “Integrated Chemotherapy Specialists” clinics, as reported in the Gwinnett Daily Post:

He advertised that his clinic practiced “safe and effective, nontoxic, scientifically-based alternative” medicine that could “cure or control most cancer and other chronic disease,” according to court documents.

Per the doctor’s lawyer, he admitted injecting 5 patients with DNP, a weed killer. But that’s not what he was busted for. It was health care fraud that did him in. Seems that when he submitted claims to insurance companies, he masked the drugs and treatments he actually provided. I wonder why … So what happened to Dr. Shanthaveerappa? His license was suspended back in 2005, and last week, he got 5 years probation (after already serving 400 days of home detention). That was for the insurance fraud. As for the weed killer injections – zippy. Apparently the authorities could not demonstrate that any harm came of it.

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Yes, electricity and sex occasionally cross paths, but this is insane. Toby Taylor (37) and his wife Kirsten Taylor (29) of York County, Pennsylvania apparently used a live electrical cord to sexually stimulate each other (according to Mr. Taylor). This time, though, the shock ended up giving Ms. Taylor a heart attack and killing her. Mr. Taylor was charged with involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment, and is free on $100,000 bail.

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prison.gif New Yorker John McDonald was charged with second-degree assault for attacking a cab driver in Aspen, Colorado. Why? Apparently he was pissed because the cabbie wouldn’t take him somewhere to buy cigarettes. So, said the cabbie, McDonald popped him in the face, breaking at least one bone. (What, that’s a crime?) When McDonald was charged, bail was set at $5,000. He posted it, and left.

Fast forward to January 15th. Per The Aspen Times:

McDonald, who rode a Greyhound bus from New York to Aspen for his court hearing, told District Judge James Boyd that he was broke and needed the $5,000 bond money he put up to get out of jail. Boyd checked repeatedly with McDonald to make sure the suspect knew he was going to be taken into custody.

Here’s the prosecutor’s explanation:

“I’ve never seen it because most people don’t want to go to jail,” Deputy District Attorney Gail Nichols said. “But obviously he doesn’t mind. Essentially he’s revoking his own bond, and hey, why not? Now he has a place to live.”

Such a great place, too. Who wouldn’t revoke their own bond just for the 3 squares? Here’s the rest of the article.

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passed%20out%20drunk%20funny%20wasted%20bathroom.jpg Here’s a wacky story from Patna, India:

Villagers at a wedding in eastern India decided the groom had arrived too drunk to get married, and so the bride married the groom’s more sober brother instead, police said.

“The groom was drunk and had reportedly misbehaved with guests when the bride’s family and local villagers chased him away,” Madho Singh, a senior police officer, told Reuters.

The younger brother readily agreed to take the groom’s place beside the teenage bride at her family’s invitation, witnesses said.

“The groom apologized for his behavior, but has been crying that word will spread and he will never get a bride again,” Singh said by phone.

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wheelchair%20fast%20drunk%20street%20road.jpgThe German police pulled this guy over and gave him a breath test. The results? Ten times the legal limit! So they busted him for driving while intoxicated, right? Nope. He was riding down the road in his wheelchair! Was he charged? As reported in The Fayettesville Observer:

Police said that because the man was technically traveling as a pedestrian, he could not be charged with a driving offense.

“It’s not like we can impound his wheelchair,” the spokesman said. “But he is facing some sort of punishment. It’s just not clear yet what exactly that will be.”

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LSU%20tigers%20funny%20football%20picture%20sign.jpg Regular Juice readers no doubt remember this “Motion for Continuance.” This one is not quite as funny (the bar is now pretty high), but it’s still juiceworthy. In the Louisiana case of Harrell v. Spencer, et al., defense counsel filed, I shit you not, an “Unopposed Motion To Continue Trial Due To Conflict With The LSU Tiger’s National Championship Game.” In his supporting Memorandum, defense counsel states:

All counsel to this matter unequivocally agree that the presence of LSU in the aforementioned contest of pigskin skill unquestionably constitutes good grounds [under the statute – for continuing the trial]. In fact we have been unable through much imagination and hypothetical scenarios to think of a better reason.

What do you think the Judge did with the Motion? Granted. Trial continued to February 11, 2008. Okay, now I have a problem. February 11th is George Washington’s birthday. Really. As Stephen Colbert says, “Look it up.” You can read the Motion, Memorandum and Order here

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injustice%20inhumane%20unfair%20working%20conditions.jpg Think again. You are not a “manual scavenger.” As described by writer Sunil Kuksal:

The term ‘manual scavenging’ describes the daily work of manually cleaning and removing human feces from dry (non-flush) latrines across India. Workers, mostly women and young boys, are also referred to as ‘night soil workers’, a Victorian euphemism that hides the repugnance of the word ‘shit’… Using a broom, a tin plate and a drum, they clear and carry human excreta from public and private latrines, more often on their heads, to dumping grounds and disposal sites.

Did I mention that the Indian government passed a law banning the employment of manual scavengers in 1993? It doesn’t seem to matter, since, as Mr. Kuksal notes:

The practice is on in almost all states, including Bihar, Maharashtra, Jammu & Kashmir and even Delhi. The Indian railways is one of the largest employers of manual scavengers.

And in an affidavit, the railway admitted that it has about 30,000 open-discharge toilets [that need to be cleaned manually]. How many people do you think are doing this job in India? According to the Indian government, 343,000. Why would anyone do this job? Per Mr. Kuksal, it’s caste-based, and is forced on the dalits by caste pressure.

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dog%20funny%20silly%20outfit%20clothes%20crazy%20good.jpg If Alexander Yermilov is saying this, you should listen. If not, you might find yourself on the business end of an ax. As reported by UPI:

Prosecutors said a man in the Chita region of Russia killed two friends he found dismembering his pet dog so they could prepare a meal.

The regional branch of the Prosecutor General’s Office said Alexander Yermilov took an ax to his friends whom he found butchering his Great Dane when he returned to his home in Natsigun in December, The Moscow Times reported Thursday.

After Yermilov struck Irina Maryasova and Nikolai Sedunov several times, killing them on the spot, he called the police and confessed, prosecutors said.

Prosecutors said the reason why the two killed the dog or wanted to eat it was unknown.

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pants%20on%20fire.jpgKansan Austin Jones found out when he and some friends tried to set an SUV ablaze. He set his own pants on fire! So he took off his pants and boxers, and took off. How do we know this is the way it went down? The incident was recorded by a neighbor’s security camera. Why Austin, why? As reported by the UPI:

Police allege the teenagers torched the Chevy Tahoe in the early hours Sunday as an act of revenge after a fight.

Gary Darpel, a neighbor of the torched car’s teenage owner, said the victim explained to him why he was targeted.

“They got into this fight. He broke it up, but they thought he was instigating it, so they came for retribution,” Darpel said.

Jones was arrested after seeking treatment at a local hospital.

Not a good night for young Mr. Jones.

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referee%20blame%20bad%20soccer%20idiot%20stupid%20glasses.jpg So said 27-year-old professional soccer player Bob Malcolm after being arrested for driving while intoxicated. Here’s a man who truly believes in accepting responsibility for his actions:

I recognise that footballers are role models and that, as such, they should set a positive example. On this occasion, I have failed to do that.

Okay. Sounds good.

“But I must say that I was very upset and frustrated with the poor performance of the referee in our match at Plymouth the evening before.”

Doh! What were the circumstances of his arrest? As reported in the Daily Mail:

The drama happened on the M1 northbound at Tibshelf, Derbyshire, at around 6.30am on December 27 last year.

A shocked motorist told police he nearly smashed into Malcolm’s car, which was straddling the middle and fast lanes of the motorway.

The other driver pulled over, woke up Malcolm, persuaded him to move to the hard shoulder, and then phoned 999.

Malcolm’s blood alcohol level was more than double the legal limit. In addition to blaming the ref, Malcolm did have one more comment to try and distance himself from the crime:

“I would also like to stress that at the time of the incident, I was not driving my car. “I had pulled over to the side of the road and was sleeping. Once again, I apologise for what has been a major error of judgment.”

Wow. And how exactly did you get there, Malcolm? By getting shitfaced, and then driving to your parking spot in the middle of the road? NO EXCUSES. Just cop to it, and people will respect you a lot more. (I’m sure that ref is looking forward to his next match with you.) Here’s the article.

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