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So you get a bunch of people together for a very specific purpose, and it’s to loot a 7-11? As reported by cbsnews.com:

Police in Maryland are now investigating a so-called “flash mob robbery” of a 7-Eleven in Germantown, a city 20 miles outside of Washington, D.C.

Montgomery County police say it happened around 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning. That’s when more than two dozen teenagers entered the store and stole snacks, drinks and other items. They immediately left the store a minute later without paying.

Police have now identified several of the suspects through surveillance video. However, a police spokeswoman says she doesn’t know how the robbery was organized.

Not cool. Not funny. Here’s the source.

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Um, Mr. French man. Why not just start yelling “anyone want my iPhone, wallet and passport?” Because that’s pretty much what you did. As reported at BrooklynPaper.com:

The 19-year-old [French tourist] was supposed to meet a friend between Van Brunt and Richards streets at 12:15 am, but his chum was nowhere to be found when he arrived.

Confused, the victim turned to the thieves, asking them if he was at the right place. They responded by putting him in a headlock and running off with his iPhone, wallet and his French passport.

There must be a word for a foreign “hayseed,” no?

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Is it just me (it often is), or is it a little strange for a couple to exchange cell phone videos of their genitals? Because that was Christopher Walker’s explanation for sending a cell phone video of his genitals to … not his girlfriend! Doh! Per the BBC:

When interviewed, Walker said he had been off work and and been drinking when he tried to send the call to his girlfriend, but had got the number wrong.

He said the footage of his genitals was meant for his partner …

Hmm. Wouldn’t his girlfriend’s number be in his contacts, so he wouldn’t need to dial it? Although he got probation, Mr. Walker will be a registered sex offender for 3 years, and must attend a community sex offender’s group program. Here’s the source. For a few more cell phone stories, click here.

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Over the 14 years Noel “Nutsy” Campbell and Miss Jasmine were involved (I can’t say “together” because at one point, she left him for 4 years!), she left him 13 times. He always took her back. So why did he finally decide he’d had enough? He was tired of the beatings Miss Jasmine inflicted on him, among other things.

She used a machete to beat me all over my body. I ran into my van to get away from her. I managed to get into the van. Nicholas and Noel Jr (his sons) ran me down … and began beating me in my head. I drive away and left them.

She attacked me with a machete that gave me a cut to my right finger on my right hand. I ran out of the house. I went into the van and was reversing. (She) used a stone to hit out the windshield and she also broke my rear view mirror.

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A California (you were thinking Idaho?) patrolman attended a transvestite party where he paid an entrance fee of between $50-$100 with the expectation of receiving sexual gratification. Damned if he wasn’t getting his money’s worth – participating in sexual acts – when the police raided the party and caught him in the act!

When the party was raided, what do you think happened to Patrolman Warren?

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You’ve probably never been arrested, let alone twice in one day. Carl Michael Gunther of Naperville, Illinois, has. As reported by the Chicago Tribune:

Police were called to the Crosstown Pub and Grill at 909 E. Ogden Ave. in Naperville after Carl Michael Gunther, of the 1000 block of Jane Avenue, refused management’s request to leave, police said.

Big mistake, that.

Police searched Gunther’s car and determined he had driven while intoxicated.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] Did they breathalyze the car? Anyway …

Police said they found a multicolored glass pipe in his car.

Police said Gunther resisted arrest and urinated in his jail cell while he was being held. He was charged with driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia, damage to property and resisting a peace officer, police said.

Okay, not a good night, but at least it’s over? Nope.

After posting $300 bond, Gunther took a cab to a relative’s house, where he left the cab without paying, police alleged.

Dude!

Police were called to Pembroke Road near Chicago Avenue about 4 a.m. April 22 and arrested Gunther again. He was taken to the DuPage County Jail, where he was charged with theft of labor/services and violation of bail bond, police said.

The Juice would recommend laying low for a spell. Here’s the source.

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Okay, so it’s at least a mildly interesting strategy – hiding in plain sight. And sometimes it even works on TV and in the movies.In real life? Not so much, as Floridian Bryan Hartman discovered. Per The Orlando Sentinel:

A St. Cloud man was arrested Monday after drug agents found marijuana growing in his front yard, they said.

Seventeen plants, from 2 feet to 7 feet tall, were growing in planters in front of the home of Bryan Hartman, 45, the Osceola County Investigative Bureau said. The house is in the 1100 block of Mississippi Avenue.

Hartman gave permission to search his home and was arrested on a charge of cultivation of cannabis, agents said. He was being held at the Osceola County Jail.

Doh!

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At least according to Merriam-Webster, a “fetish” is defined as “an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion,” or “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.” Given this man’s behavior, do you think he has a toe fetish? Per The China Daily:

A woman in Dalian, Liaoning province, was attacked by a man who wanted to bite her toes.

The woman said the man, who looked about 25 years old and was well dressed, chased her as she was climbing the stairs of a residential building.

To the woman’s surprise, when the man caught her, he took off her right shoe and bit two of her toes. He fled after the woman kept hitting him with a plastic bottle.

Yikes. So many strange people in this world. And since China has just about 1/5 of the world’s population … expect to see more Juice stories from China.

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How does one group of prisoners really get to another group of prisoners without ever speaking to them? Here’s how, and here’s what the prison did to address it, per the Edinburgh Evening News:

Prison chiefs at Saughton have reportedly been forced to erect a screen wall around the exercise yard, over concerns that new female inmates were flashing their breasts at male prisoners.

A 20ft security fence has been covered with tarpaulin this week after male inmates began hanging out of the windows of their cells to look at the female prisoners in the yard.

And the official explanation?

A spokesman for the Scottish Prison Service said: “The fence has been changed due to operational reasons.”

Why not just spit it? “Operational reasons.” Please. Here’s the source.

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Not many Orders merit a block quote on Legal Juice. This one, from the case of Kissel v. Schwartz … out of Kentucky, most definitely does. So, without further ado:

“And such news of an amicable settlement having made this Court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would rather have jumped naked off of a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory; IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED AND ADJUDGED by the court as follows: 1. The jury trial scheduled herein for July 13, 2011 is hereby CANCELED.”

You like Kenton Circuit Judge Martin J. Sheehan, right? One more thing:

“4. The Clerk shall engage the services of a structural engineer to ascertain if the return of this file to the Clerk’s office will exceed the maximum structural load of the floors of said office.”

Nicely done sir! Here’s the Order