Articles Posted in Yikes

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This man, just convicted of sexual battery and facing 20 years to life, just walks right out of the courtroom, and the courthouse? Yup. As reported by The Times-Picayune:

Orleans Parish Sheriff Marlin Gusman said his office is reviewing just how a freshly convicted sex offender simply walked out of a criminal courtroom, down the steps of the courthouse and out of sight before anyone noticed.

Gusman’s office also released a photo of Teddy Magee, who faces 20 years to life in prison after a jury convicted him of second-degree sexual battery Monday, despite the victim’s support during the trial.

How did it happen?

Following the verdict, the woman grew hysterical, and as Criminal District Court Judge Benedict Willard and lawyers were discussing a possible appeal bond for Magee, the defendant apparently walked to the back of the courtroom and out the door.

So nobody was responsible for keeping tabs on a violent sex offender?

In a news release, Gusman said his office was looking into whether any policies or procedures were broken.

See, apparently there’s a simple explanation.

“One deputy was escorting the jury out, and you had the other with the situation about the woman doing what she was doing [acting hysterical]. All that was part of the process of what was going on,” Ehrhardt said.

Really? That’s it? A minor distraction, and a felon walks right out of the courthouse? You can read more here.

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Generally, when you get plastered, it’s a good idea to just sleep it off. Ah, but it’s very important where you chose to do so. Just ask this gent from Kentucky. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, KY):

According to the arrest slip, around 6:30 a.m. Saturday police responded to reports of a vehicle facing north in the southbound lane near the 4400 block of Shepherdsville Road. When police arrived at the scene, they found 21-year-old Cruz Santiago at the wheel.

Okay. They found him at the wheel. So what’s the problem?

Police say the 2008 Pontiac was running and in gear, and that Santiago was asleep at the wheel with his foot on the brake as the car inched forward. When confronted, Santiago said Santiago smelled of alcohol, had bloodshot eyes and was unsteady on his feet.

Big, big problem. Dude could have killed someone.

Santiago failed a field sobriety test, police say, and registered .184 on a portable breathalyzer test.

He was arrested and charged with one count of DUI.

You’ll find the source, including a mug shot, here.

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Even if you like sweet and sour sauce, ain’t no way you like it as much as this Washington State man. As reported by The Highline Times:

A man entered a fast food restaurant at the 14800 block of 4th Ave. S.W. asking for some condiments. The clerk told him no. That angered him so he pulled out a knife and demanded they hand over some sweet and sour sauce. There were no reported injuries and it was unclear if they had the suspect in custody.

Clearly a head-scratcher.

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What’s the big deal? It was 4:00 a.m. for goodness sake. Can’t a fella go out for a little stroll without getting busted? Well, there is at least one prerequisite to taking that stroll … As reported by wmbfnews.com:

… the suspect, 21-year-old Kerry Joseph Jasiak of Myrtle Beach, was walking down Robert Grissom Parkway toward SC 31 completely nude around 4 a.m. Saturday.

Jasiak told responding officers he did not know where his clothes were, the report said.

See, he had a perfectly logical explanation! Even so, guess what the Five-O did?

Jasiak was taken into custody and transported to the Myrtle Beach Jail where he was charged with Disorderly Conduct (Public Nudity).

Here’s the source, including the mug shot.

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The Juice thinks this breathalyzer must be busted. Why? Because this dude blew way too low considering the circumstances. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

The deputy saw sparks and smoke coming from Kevin Blazer’s Lexus just after 1 a.m. Wednesday and pulled the car over on Little Road near Trouble Creek Road. The driver was so intoxicated, the Pasco sheriff’s deputy later wrote in a report, he didn’t realize he had been driving with his left front tire missing. Blazer, a 34-year-old college student, was arrested and charged with DUI. His blood alcohol level was between 0.129 and 0.131, according to the Sheriff’s Office. The state presumes impairment at 0.08.

Blazer, of 4039 Vista Verde Drive in New Port Richey, was released from the Pasco Jail on Wednesday.

Kudos to Mr. Blazer for returning to college while in his 30s. A big black mark for Mr. Blazer for not maturing much in the intervening years.

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Just what was the condition imposed by Judge Tom Broadmore for granting bail to Mr. Ben Hana (who was charged with cannabis possession and obscene exposure)?

That he wear underwear.

For real. Per The Dominion Post, it seems that Mr. Hana is “… well known around Wellington [New Zealand] as Blanket Man.” Unfortunately, that’s apparently all he wears – a blanket. As his lawyer described it …

“He wears high-risk clothing. It’s a way of life rather than a deliberate attempt at lewdness.”

“High-risk.” Nice touch. What did the Judge think?

Judge Tom Broadmore was sceptical of Ms Dixon’s explanation: “I was walking down Courtenay Place and I’m sure he was exposing his genitals. It’s just not something the public should have to tolerate.”

Counselor?

Ms Dixon suggested making the wearing of underwear a bail condition as a “precautionary measure”.

Done? Done.

The judge agreed to bail on condition that Hana not enter licensed premises, other than supermarkets, not drink alcohol and that he wear underpants or boxer shorts while in public.

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What would you do for some nuggies? Definitely not what a California woman was willing to do, as reported by whptv.com.

Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles was seen opening customers’ car doors in the McDonald’s drive through at 1700 block of Olive Avenue about 11 p.m. Wednesday, according to the Burbank Leader. Baseer was allegedly offering to swap sexual favors for the fast food item.

A witness reported her bizarre behavior to the authorities. Baseer was arrested on suspicion of prostitution.

Yikes.

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The Juice has not had a “booth” dance (uh, yeah, sure, right), but he can’t believe a stripper would give one without getting the cashish first. Well this stripper did, unfortunately for all parties concerned. As reported by cnews.canoe.ca:

A stripper will spend the next nine months in jail for smashing a beer bottle over the head of a customer who refused to pay her. Tamara Valcourt was sentenced this week for the Dec. 1 attack at the Chez Venus bar.

Crown prosecutor Julie Gagne said Valcourt attacked the man as he was leaving the strip club without paying the $100 he owed for a booth dance.

“The defendant struck the victim with a beer bottle,” said Gagne. “(He was hit) behind the ear and suffered a deep, four-centimetre cut.”

The Crown and the defence [she pleaded guilty] agreed that Valcourt should serve an additional nine months on top of the 36 days already served. She was also slapped with two years’ probation and has been barred from the Venus club.

Any priors? Well …

The judge took into account the stripper’s prior criminal record that included convictions for obstructing police in 2006 and assault in 2007.

Yikes. Here’s the source.

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Hmmm. The Juice was working on this post and thought this name sounded familiar, so he checked the archives of 1,854 Legal Juice posts and found this one about Judge Willie F. Singletary. The story on philly.com was now not so surprising.

The state Supreme Court yesterday canned Philadelphia Traffic Court Judge Willie F. Singletary, suspending him without pay after he allegedly showed a woman cellphone pictures of his genitalia two weeks ago.

Yikes.

But this isn’t the first time Singletary has made headlines. In 2007 his driver’s license was suspended for unpaid tickets [a BOATLOAD of them – see Juice post above], and two years later he was reprimanded for promising favors in exchange for campaign donations.

That’s quite a record in just the past 5 years.

Yesterday, the Supreme Court ordered that Singletary be “relieved of any and all judicial and administrative responsibilities as a judge of the Philadelphia Traffic Court.”

Might consider another line of work.

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If this dude decides to remain in the relationship, he would be well-advised to have a pack of cigarettes on hand at all times, and be willing to share them. As reported by The Morning Call (Allentown):

Bethlehem police said a woman went on a rampage Monday night when her boyfriend denied her a cigarette and attacked him with a steak knife.

Linda Sellers, 55, is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, simple assault, reckless endangerment, terroristic threats, harassment and possessing an instrument of crime. Sellers, of 714 Hayes St., is in Northampton County Prison under $750,000 bail.

Yikes. Here’s the official police version:

Officers were called to the home for a report of a woman yelling. Sellers answered the door and said, “Oh, good. It’s the (expletive) police!”

Police said Sellers pointed to Camilleri, who was sitting on the couch holding a steak knife he had wrestled away from her, and told the officer she was going to kill him.

Camilleri told police he was sleeping on the couch when Sellers awoke him and asked for a cigarette. When he told her to buy her own, police said Sellers threw items around the apartment and overturned a glass coffee table.

Sellers went into the kitchen, grabbed a steak knife and attacked Camilleri, police said. He suffered three cuts on the top of his head and was treated and released from St. Luke’s Hospital-Fountain Hill, police said.

Here’s the source.