Legal Juice

Perhaps some regulation is required to prevent street photographers from setting up shop on the sidewalk (but perhaps not, as this is most likely covered by other regulations regarding businesses operated in public spaces), but 5 minutes? That's just stupid. Here's the DC Regulation:

523 STREET PHOTOGRAPHY: REQUIREMENTS AND RESTRICTIONS

523.3 While engaged in taking photographs, no person licensed under §521 or §522 of this chapter shall impede traffic as defined in the District of Columbia Traffic Acts; nor shall any photographer remain longer than five (5) minutes at any one (1) location on the streets, sidewalks, or other public spaces.

Ridiculous. You can find the regulation here (at 24-523).

You're out for a bike ride, with a backpack full of tools. Is that a crime? Apparently it can be. As reported by The St. Petersburg Times:

Kurtis Martin was riding his bicycle Sunday night with no headlight, in an area hit by recent burglaries, with an open backpack full of tools, Pasco deputies said.

When a deputy pulled Martin over, he found the backpack contained several screwdrivers, a claw hammer, pliers, wire cutters and a machete, according to a Pasco County Sheriff's Office report. The deputy asked what the tools were for.

You have to give this man credit for being honest, some of which you can deduct for failing to know about his right to not incriminate himself.

"I hadn't stolen anything tonight," replied Martin, according to the report. "I had the tools with me in case the opportunity arose. I was only scouting the area."

Doh!

Martin, 36, of Lacoochee, was arrested on suspicion of possessing burglary tools. He remained in the county jail Monday afternoon in lieu of $5,000 bail.

Not being a criminal lawyer, The Juice did not know this was a crime. Did you? Here's the source.

Yes, Juice readers, it is still illegal in Florida for unmarried couples to live together! Here's the statute:

TITLE XLVI CRIMES Chapter 798 ADULTERY; COHABITATION

798.02 Lewd and lascivious behavior.

If any man and woman, not being married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together, or if any man or woman, married or unmarried, engages in open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, they shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083 [A $500 fine and up to 60 days in jail]

Good luck to Republican Representative Ritch Workman who is trying to get this ridiculous, oft-violated (1 million+ lawbreakers in Florida!) off the books. Seems there aren't a lot of lawmakers in Florida with a spine. Here's an article about it in The Orlando Sentinel.

In the law, as in many other areas, an occasional housecleaning is needed. According to the London Burough of Sutton, here are some outdated laws (from 1894 - 1935) that are still on the books (via The Guardian):

(1) No person shall play tipcat or any offensive or dangerous game in such a manner as to cause obstruction or danger (Tipcat is an early form of rounders played with a sharpened stick instead of a ball).

(2) The person having control of a steam-powered whirligig will bring it to a standstill if a person becomes ill.

(3) If two or more people willfully jostle or annoy any foot passengers, each such person shall be guilty of an offence.

(4) No person shall to the inconvenience or danger of passengers carry a bag of soot in the street.

(5) Domestic servants should register with the council.

(6) No person shall bathe in a river within 200 yards of public place without wearing a dress.

(7) Orange peel or other dangerous substances shall not be thrown in a public place.

(8) No person shall sing in any public place within 100 yards of any place of public worship.

(9) No person shall convey along any street the undressed carcass of any animal or any offensive offal.

(10) Spitting on the wall of a public carriage is prohibited.

Click here for the source.

Who is the source of these strange driving-related laws? Avis. Here are some of the laws Avis found, which are published in a "Holiday Highway Code."

In Cyprus, it's illegal to drink ANYTHING while you are driving, including water.

In Greece, if you park illegally, the police may seize your license plates!

In Romania and Russia, "it’s actually against the law to drive a dirty vehicle."

In Denmark, "before you turn the ignition, make sure you check for people under the car – a legal requirement alongside checking the brakes, lights, steering and horn before you drive."

Here's the source.

If you need a reminder of just how different cultures (and their customs and laws) can be, this ought to do it. As reported by The Times of India:

The incident took place in the tribal dominated Masinda village in Debagarh's Barkote police station area. It houses more than 40 tribal families. Surrounded by thick forests, the village is cut off from main land because of poor communication. The victim, identified as Mani Hanaga (50) became the lone bread earner of the family after her husband Sibio Hanaga became invalid last year.

"She had sown paddy seeds in her filed last month. But in tribal community, sowing seeds is considered a sin for women. It is against their custom. So they warned her and imposed a fine on her as they felt her act could displease the village deity. They asked her to pay Rs.10,000 along with a goat and 10 chickens to appease the village deity," a social activist from Barkote Surendra Guru said on Thursday.

A deity who is appeased by cash?

Guru, who visited the village after the incident, informed that the village body outcast her whole family after she refused to obey their direction. "When women take part in farming everywhere, why should I be stopped from sowing the seeds?", she asked.

Meanwhile, the district collector has taken the matter seriously. He has asked officials to look into the matter and submit a report for further action. "The incident has come to my notice and I have asked the local BDO to prepare a report on the issue. I will take action once I receive the report," Deogarh collector B B Jena said on Thursday.

You go Mr. Jena. Here's the source.

Regular Juice readers may remember this post about a law in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana that prohibited the sale of silly string within three hundred (300) feet of any parade route within the parish on any day a parade is scheduled.

So, no selling of silly string, only on parade days, and only within 300 feet of the parade route. Well sir, that kind of leniency toward the devil that is silly string will not be tolerated in the town of Hopkinton, Massachusetts! For in that town, you may not sell or use silly string EVER. To wit:

ARTICLE I

Plastic String and Streamers

[Adopted 6-11-1990 ATM, Art. 26]

~ 154-1. Sale and use prohibited.

No person shall sell or expose for sale, use or cause or permit to be used any product designed to project a string or streamer of plastic material.

HT to The Hopkinton Patch for this tidbit.

To be fair to Cuyahoga Falls City Councilman Jerry James, perhaps this is not his signature legislative initiative. Maybe he'll tackle the saggy pants problem next. But about the proposed ordinance that will no doubt vault Cuyahoga Falls City to the top of the "best places to live" list, as reported by AkronNewsNow.com:

Cuyahoga Falls City Council will see legislation introduced tonight to control those bird feeders in back yards across the city.

Councilman Jerry James tells AkronNewsNow.com "There's a lot of seed that comes out on to the bird feeders, and they spill on to the ground, and the seeds that aren't eaten by the birds decay and then some birds will come and get them, and then they end up getting sick and dying."

Before you panic, this epic legislation would not ban bird feeders. It would simply regulate them.

James says his proposed ordinance would deal with the maintenance of the bird feeders, making sure that the overflow does not lay down on the ground, decay, and cause a problem.

So it's a jobs bill! They'll need at least one bird feeder inspector, right? Here's the source.

Like most cities, Portland has some weird laws still on the books. As reported in the
The Oregonian:

... Then there are the head-scratchers. Publicly scraping clean the skeleton of one's beloved in a cemetery is a criminal act. Chain letters are strictly prohibited. In city parks, it's illegal to climb a tree, sit on a vase or lie upon a picnic table. Sailors fleeing a burning ship may, but are not required to, sound a horn or whistle in blasts of four to six seconds, no more or less. Teens might be breaking the law if they cruise down certain busy streets more than twice in a night.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Without Johnny Law, there would be chaos, right? In this situation, Johnny Law needs to step off. In the Australian city of Whitehorse, little children drawing with chalk in front of a cafe have been deemed to be ... taggers! As reported by The Whitehorse Leader:

Children drawing with chalk on a Nunawading footpath have been labeled graffiti artists.

THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

Whitehorse Council has drawn the line over pre-schooler’s scribbles outside White’s Cafe in the Mt Pleasant Rd shopping strip.

Sally White, who runs the family-friendly cafe with husband PJ, said she was told by a council officer that the children’s drawings were graffiti and had to stop, after a complaint from a resident.

A single complaint? Was it the nature of the drawings?

Mrs White, who has boys aged three and four, said the cafe had allowed children to draw on the footpath of the quiet shopping strip for the past 12 months.

She said the drawings were usually stick figures, scribbles, fish or pirates.

Nunawading artist and author Lucienne Noontil, a cafe regular, said she could not believe anyone would find them offensive. ``I love the drawings and seeing the kids be creative,’’ she said.

First Tunisia, then Egypt, Wisconsin, Bahrain, Yemen, Syria, and now ... Nunawading!

Ms Noontil said stopping the drawings would dampen the strong community spirit of the cafe.

Mrs White said she and the children were all in tears when told the drawing had to stop so they had decided to still allow it.

HELL NO, WE WON'T ... stop letting the children create art that enriches their lives, enriches the community, and harms nobody... But wait! What about the mess?

Mrs White said they would be willing to wash the drawings off each afternoon when they shut or apply for a permit from council if that was relevant.

Curse you, reasonable lady! But Johnny Law is unmoved by any of this.

Council’s general manager corporate services Peter Smith said the drawings were in contravention of council’s Local Law No. 1 2006 and the state government’s Graffiti Act 2007.

``No matter the age of the person, drawing on public property is considered graffiti,’’ he said.

Let it go, Pete. Let it go. That appears unlikely.

Mr Smith said the council would be obliged to issue a compliance notice if the drawing continued or if a further complaint was received.

Silly complainer. Silly Council. If you're ever in Whitehorse, make sure you patronize White's Cafe, because Mrs. White is certainly deserving of your support for her pro-children, pro-art, anit-stupidity stance. Here's the source, which includes a photo of some of the artists.

You're driving down the road in Florida and you see a beautiful orange grove, or a cow with a silhouette of Jesus on her. You'll have to resist the urge to take a photograph unless you have the owner's permission, at least if a Florida legislator has his way. Here's part of a bill proposed by Senator Jim Norman:

(2) A person who photographs, video records, or otherwise produces images or pictorial records, digital or otherwise, at or of a farm or other property where legitimate agriculture operations are being conducted without the written consent of the owner, or an authorized representative of the owner, commits a felony of the first degree ...

A felony? Why pass such a law? Would it pass constitutional muster? As reported by The Florida Tribune:

Media law experts say the ban would violate freedoms protected in the U. S. Constitution. But Wilton Simpson, a farmer who lives in Norman's district, said the bill is needed to protect the property rights of farmers and the "intellectual property" involving farm operations.

Simpson, president of Simpson Farms near Dade City, said the law would prevent people from posing as farmworkers so that they can secretly film agricultural operations.

So this is a problem in Florida?

[Mr. Simpson] said he could not name an instance in which that happened. But animal rights groups such as People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and Animal Freedom display undercover videos on their web sites to make their case that livestock farming and meat consumption are cruel.

Sorry Mr. Simpson, but The Juice agrees with this lady.

Judy Dalglish, executive director for the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, said shooting property from a roadside or from the air is legal. The bill "is just flat-out unconstitutional not to mention stupid," she said.

Here's the proposed law, and here's the rest of the Trib article.

All you regular readers know that The Juice is not a big fan of Big Brother. Like-minded Juicegoers probably won't be too fond of this proposed ordinance now pending in Sullivan's Island, South Carolina:

Sec. 14-15G. Yelling, shouting, etc.

It shall be unlawful for any person to yell, shout, hoot, whistle, or sing on the public streets, particularly between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. or at any time or place so as to annoy or disturb the quiet, comfort, or repose of persons in any office, or in any dwelling, or other type of residence, or of any persons in the vicinity.

Really? You're actually considering passing this? No offense to whoever drafted this, but The Juice really hopes he/she/they did not go to law school because this absurd ordinance sets a new standard for vagueness. What a hoot! Good luck enforcing it! Here's a link to the proposed ordinance on the town's website.

P.S. It passed! Here's the link. (Scroll down to 14-15G.

As a regular bicycle rider (and commuter), The Juice must confess that, if he lived in Florida, he would be a serial offender of this absolutely ridiculous law. And yes, it's still on the books.

Title XXIII - MOTOR VEHICLES - Chapter 316 - STATE UNIFORM TRAFFIC CONTROL

316.2065 - Bicycle regulations.

... (7) Any person operating a bicycle shall keep at least one hand upon the handlebars.

Might as well outlaw "things you do for kicks" ... Here's a link to the statute.

Just remember that you heard it here first: If you call a spade a spade, it's a spade for certain purposes if you think it is, even if it's really not. Confused? So, most likely, are the New York women who are referred to as "prostitutes" by Johnny Law because a man thought they were (they weren't). As reported in North County Now (New York):

Robert E. Millar, 60, offered two females money in exchange for sex Monday morning at about 10:15, troopers said, and squeezed the buttocks of one of the females.

Millar has been charged with two counts of patronizing a prostitute and one count of forcible touching. The females were not prostitutes and did not accept any money, and state police explained that the law uses the word "prostitute" for anyone who is solicited to engage in sexual conduct.

Feel better ladies? Didn't think so. Here's the source.

Sure, there are more delicate ways to say this. But regular readers know The Juice prefers the blunt approach. So ... The governing administration in Malawi is proposing legislation that would outlaw farting in public! Truth! As reported by afrik-news.com:

The Bingu wa Mutharika led administration is to introduce a raft of legislation that seeks to criminalize an everyday natural occurrence of “passing gas” with the intention to “mold responsible and discipl[ined] citizens.”

Certainly a fair amount of discipline would be involved ...

The Local Courts Bill of 2010, according to Malawi media reports, is to be presented in the forthcoming Parliament sitting by Minister of Justice, George Chaponda. The bill, reports say, also deals with citizens who hinder the burial of dead bodies as well as people who pretend to be fortune tellers.

Is there any opposition?

Mr. John Tembo’s [he's the leader of the opposition party] criticism of the bill is believed to have stricken a chord with local critics who argue that the capacity of the local justice system to handle the expected influx of cases is questionable.

And this, from an anonymous citizen:

Commenting on the bill, a Malawian is quoted as saying: “How can this government criminalise the release of intestinal gases …. Everyone does that, even if it’s in public or it has an accompanying sound which is boring, making it criminal is a joke of democracy.”

Any supporters out there? At least one.

Another [Malawian] said he “support(s) the bill and is welcome. Sometimes breaking wind in public or during meetings is a disturbance of the peace".

Since the anti-flatulence provision is only part of the proposed bill, perhaps it's removal would take the wind (oh!) out of the opposition's sails. Here's the source.

It's difficult to believe that Utah would be doing this, especially given the recent shootings in Tucson. But it's true. The "official state" what? Gun! As reported by The Christian Science Monitor:

In one of the most controversial state symbol designations since Alabama in 2006 attempted to name the peach the state fruit (amid protests from its neighbor Georgia, the Peach State), the Utah House voted on Wednesday to honor Utah-born John Browning, the M1911's inventor, by naming the semiautomatic hand gun America's first state gun.

And just in case you're wondering whether it will pass the Utah Senate and become law ...

Though the Utah House passed the Browning designation, the Senate still has to approve the bill. The House version passed primarily along party lines, with all but two Republicans voting in favor and every Democrat voting against. Republicans took control of the Utah Senate in November. The state also has a Republican governor.

You can read a lot more about this here.

In Oklahoma City, it's illegal for a minor to possess a "broad-tipped" permanent marker. Here's the ordinance:

§ 35-201. - Prohibition on possession of aerosol spray paint by minors.

No person under the age of 18 years may possess an aerosol spray paint container or broad-tipped indelible marker on any public property unless accompanied by a parent, guardian, employer, teacher or other adult in any similar relationship and such possession is for a lawful purpose.

This is not academic, at least for one 13-year-old boy. As reported by The Oklahoman:

A 13-year-old was arrested Friday in Oklahoma City, accused of violating a little-known city ordinance that prohibits possession of a permanent marker in some circumstances.

Doh!

The teen was caught using a permanent marker at Roosevelt Middle School by a teacher, according to the crime report filed with the Oklahoma City Police Department.

Delynn Woodside noted the marker had bled through a piece of paper onto the desk and reported to a police officer that she also had seen the teen writing on the desk with the marker, the report said.

Woodside, a seventh-grade math teacher, made a citizen's arrest on the teen, and the police officer transferred the student to a Community Intervention Center that houses juveniles who have been arrested. The name of the minor was not released.

A citizen's arrest under that law? And sending the kid to Juvie? Why go all "Gomer Pyle" on the kid (see above) instead of just sending him to the principal's office for defacing school property? Here's the source.

Why would The Juice presume that no celebrities would stay in James City County, Virginia? Because they have a law prohibiting the use of a fake name when registering at a hotel. Here it is:

Sec. 15-38. False registration by guests.

It shall be unlawful for any person to write, or cause to be written, or knowingly permit to be written, in any guest register in any lodging place in the county, any other or different name or designation than the true name of the person registered therein, or the name by which such person is generally known, or to enter false information regarding any vehicle. Any person violating the provisions of this section shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

Surely all those law-abiding adulterers give their real names ...

In Newport News, Virginia, and some other fun-loving locales across the country, it is illegal for anyone over the age of eleven to trick or treat! This is truly one of the dumbest laws The Juice has encountered (and that's saying something). Here's the law:

Sec. 28-5. - Prohibited trick or treat activities.

(a) If any person beyond the seventh grade of school or over twelve (12) years of age shall engage in the activity commonly known as "trick or treat" or any other activity of similar character or nature under any name whatsoever, such person shall be guilty of a Class 4 misdemeanor. Nothing herein shall be construed as prohibiting any parent, guardian or other responsible person having lawfully in his custody a child twelve (12) years old or younger, from accompanying such child who is playing "trick or treat" for the purpose of caring for, looking after or protecting such child. However, no accompanying parent or guardian shall wear a mask of any type.

(b) If any person shall engage in playing "trick or treat" or any other activity of similar character or nature under any name whatsoever after 8:00 p.m., such person shall be guilty of a Class 4 misdemeanor.

Here's a link to the City of Newport News Code of Ordinances (see Chapter 28).

Maybe that's the reason Tennessee House Republican Leader Jason Mumpower did what he did. As reported in the Nashville Scene:

Tennessee is the only state in nation with a law preventing sex-change recipients from retroactively revising the sex designation on their birth certificates to correspond with their new gender identity. The law makes it difficult for those who have undergone such surgical changes to get driver’s licenses and other documentation, because obtaining such critical documents invariably requires a birth certificate.

So a bunch of Democrats put together a bill to bring Tennessee in line with EVERY OTHER STATE. Mr. Mumpower would have none of this. How did he kill the bill?

Mumpower attached an amendment that would have essentially created a new category of sex.

Really? Go on.

“A birth certificate can be amended with the designation MTF,” Mumpower tells the Scene, “designating male to female, or FTM designating female to male.”

Think he considers himself a "compassionate conservative?"