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This may be the worst trade ever made in a jail, anywhere. As reported by the Des Moines Register:

A western Iowa man already convicted on federal fraud charges has been sentenced to more than two years in prison for selling his pain pills for candy.

Say what? And they weren’t just any old pain pills.

Donald Washburn of Marion was given the sentence earlier this week in Cedar Rapids. The time will run concurrently to his separate sentence of more than 11 years in prison on various federal fraud charges.

Prosecutors say the 63-year-old sold his prescription oxycodone medication to other inmates for candy bars while he was held in the Linn County Jail awaiting sentencing on the investment fraud case.

This guy was able to convince people to invest money with him? Scary. The nature of his scams?

Washburn was convicted in February of bilking investors out of more than $800,000 in phony gambling and mining ventures.

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gta grand theft auto

This guy must have played Grand Theft Auto, because what he did could have come straight out of the game. As reported by kaj18.c0m (Montana):

The day-long crime spree happened on May 23, 2013.

And what a day it was.

It started around 7:55 a.m. when the Gallatin County Sheriff’s Office got a call that a vehicle had been stolen from Hulbert Road West, between Four Corners and Belgrade. The suspect was described as a man around 30 years old with shaggy collar-length blond hair, wearing jeans and a black shirt and appearing to have a leg injury. The caller said his wife saw the man approach the house, ring the doorbell then drive away in their 2006 blue Chevy Silverado, court papers state.

A deputy found the truck at around 8:36 a.m. on Rocky Mountain Road, but the driver fled, leading law enforcement on a high-speed chase that reached speeds of up to 100 miles per hour along gravel roads, court papers state.

[Matthew] Brandemihl [31] reportedly drove the vehicle into a ravine behind a residence on Sherman Drive then broke into the home, took a woman’s phone and four bottles of beer then drove her Ford Explorer through the closed garage door.

Montana Highway Patrol troopers began pursuing Brandemihl again. He led them through the county, driving 95 mph on Frontage Road toward Belgrade, then jumping the railroad tracks, driving through a fence on Interstate 90 where he drove the against traffic before crashing the stolen Explorer into a ditch near Business Hub Drive at around 9:30 a.m., court papers state.

Officers surrounded the area but then found that a resident in the area was missing a GMC truck.

At around 12:11 p.m., dispatchers received a call that the truck was spotted between Pony and Harrison. Law enforcement tracked Brandemihl onto Forest Service land near Pony on foot.

Several hours later, he came out of the woods and surrendered. He was taken to Bozeman Deaconess Hospital for a leg injury.

Are you dizzy too? The outcome?

Brandemihl … pleaded guilty to two felony counts of theft, one count of felony criminal endangerment and a misdemeanor charge of criminal trespass to property. In exchange, prosecutors dropped an additional felony charge of theft.

Next case … wait – not so fast.

Gallatin County District Court Judge Holly Brown initially told Brandemihl she would not accept his guilty plea because she wasn’t confident he understood what happened that day. This arose after he said he didn’t clearly remember where he was that day, or what his intentions were.

After sitting down with his attorney and discussing the matter, Brandemihl entered his guilty plea and admitted to the judge he stole three different vehicles, drove erratically, entered a home, took beer and led police on a high-speed chase.

Brandemihl will be sentenced on Feb. 25.




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be vewy quiet hunting wabbits rabbits

So he wasn’t really “in” for very long, but still. As reported by NorthCountryNow.com (Potsdam, New York):

Potsdam police say they charged a man for yelling on Leroy Street early Sunday morning.

Ryan J. Minsker, 21, Brewster, was charged with unnecessary noice at 12:49 a.m. and released on an appearance ticket returnable to Potsdam Town Court Feb. 14 at 9:30 a.m., officers said.

Shhh. Be vewy quiet. I’m hunting wabbits.

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door bell doorbell ding dong ditch

There can’t be many boys out there who never played “doorbell ditch.” A few Missouri boys have definitely played this game out. In fact, they may never ring ANY doorbell again. As reported by The News-Leader (news-leader.com):

Police say the boys angered the female resident to the point that she tried to run one down with her van, punched another three times while holding a knife to his chest and threatened to kill the boys and others, all while shouting racial slurs.

Ashley D. Crossland followed one boy to the house where the boys were having a sleepover, police say, and illegally entered the home. Confronted by a father of one of the boys, Crossland allegedly “threatened to slit his throat and everyone’s throats in the house, including the babies.”

You can read a lot more, and see the perp’s mug shot here.

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This isn’t the first time The Juice has blogged about a cancer faker. That lady had nothing on Ms. Lori E. Stilley. As reported by The Gloucester County Times (New Jersey) at nj.com:

Making more than $3,000 from sales of an e-book was far from the only thing a township woman did to rake in tens of thousands of dollars from lying about having cancer, authorities allege.

According to a statement released from the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office, the scheme began and ended in 2011.

Lori E. Stilley, 40, told family and friends in February that she had been diagnosed with Stage III bladder cancer, authorities said.

She told them she’d undergone radiation and chemotherapy treatment, prosecutors said, posting the same on Facebook and her personal website.

In April, Stilley allegedly said the cancer had progressed to Stage IV. She told her loved ones she didn’t have health insurance, although authorities said investigation would show she’d never been diagnosed with cancer.

Surely if you’re telling folks your cancer is Stage IV, you have an end game, right? Well … Anyway, in the interim …

The friends and relatives organized several efforts to raise money for Stilley, including a T-shirt sale. A fundraising banquet in July 2011 raised $8,400. Another fundraiser and cash raffle that summer brought in another $1,000.

Stilley sold her e-book about struggling daily with cancer – posted for sale in October – for $14.99. She reportedly told people she wanted to marry her boyfriend before she died.

So again, loved ones came through for her. They planned the wedding that took place within a week and a half. The organizers haggled the wedding hall price down to $500 and covered the cost on their own.

Then there were the donations of gift cards totaling more than $1,600.

One friend even created a meal calendar – posted on Stilley’s website – by which kind souls prepared and delivered meals to her. They scheduled dates for deliveries months ahead of time.

That’s one helluva support group this lady had.

But the alleged scheme wouldn’t include a faked death. In November, when she was supposedly due soon for hospice care, Stilley posted on her Facebook page a message saying she was feeling better and believed a miracle was coming.

A miracle? That’s the exit plan for your despicable scheme? And you thought people would buy it? A miracle?

When she postponed hospice, her long-loyal friends became suspicious.

Following investigation, Stilley surrendered Wednesday morning, authorities said, at the Delran Township Police Department.

She was charged theft by deception and was released after posting $25,000 bail.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Stilley.

Posted in: Best Of
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bill law

Does anyone really believe there’s no such thing as bad publicity? Check out this proposed Missouri law, as reported at fox2now.com:

Courtney Allen Curtis, (D) District 73, introduced a bill to the Missouri House of Representatives that would make the high five the official state greeting.

Yes, that’s right, an official state greeting.

HB 1624 reads: “The “high five” is selected for and shall be known as the official state greeting in the state of Missouri.”

The bill has already had a second reading. Curtis’ district covers parts of north St. Louis County, including Lambert Airport, and parts of Hazelwood, Ferguson, Berkeley, Bridgeton and St. Ann. This is his first term. He was elected in 2012.

Well, that bill is definitely good news for one person – Ms. Curtis’s challenger in the next election! Click here to see the official proposed bill.

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The question: “What time is it?” These days, that leads many people to pull out their phone to check the time. You know where this is going. As reported in the Police Blotter from the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach) via brooklynpaper.com:

Two bike-riding brutes swiped a man’s cellphone, watch, and jacket after asking him the hour on 63rd Street on Jan. 12, authorities allege.

The victim said he was walking along 63rd Street near 15th Avenue at 4 pm when the punks pedaled up behind him and requested the time. When he took out his mobile device to check, one of them grabbed the gadget while the other tore off the victim’s jacket, cops said.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, this really had to hurt:

The victim told police that his coat pocket contained, of all things, his Cartier timepiece.


Posted in: Uncool
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How much do you think a piranha is worth? More on that later. For now, you only need to know that, if you live in New York City, you can’t have a piranha.  But just because it’s illegal … As reported by nbcnewyork.com:

A New York City man is accused of smuggling nearly 40,000 piranhas into the U.S. by having them mislabeled as harmless aquarium fish, prosecutors said.

First reaction: run!

[Joel Rakower] began importing the mislabeled fish in 2011, shortly after New York City prohibited possession of piranhas, and continued through 2012, prosecutors said.

In all, he smuggled 39,548 piranhas, worth $37,376, that were then sold to fish retailers throughout the U.S.

So a piranha is worth less than $1? Go figure.

Joel Rakower and his fish distribution company pleaded guilty Wednesday and agreed to pay more than $70,000 in fines and restitution.

Authorities said Rakower admitted buying the aggressive fish from a Hong Kong supplier that he instructed to falsely label the shipments as silver tetras, a more common household fish.

As for the legality of owning piranhas outside of NYC:

Twenty-five states either ban or regulate piranhas, which could pose a serious risk to ecosystems if they got into native waters.

What about the serious risk to swimmers? Or has The Juice seen too many movies with piranha scenes? Anyway, you’ll find the source here.


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Yeah, he was about six feet tall, white, a little heavy, with short blond hair and a big nose. He was wearing …  Now that’s the kind of description that could be helpful. But this?

Employees of Smith Oil on East Liverpool Road reported a tall, white, ugly man wearing a hoodie and plaid pajama pants driving a newer model Ford Focus drove off without paying for nearly $34 worth of gasoline.

Ugly? That’s it? Oh, and tall and white. Very helpful. Thanks so much. (As reported in the St. Clair Township Police Report (via The Review, East Liverpool, Ohio.)

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When Michael Jordan resumed playing basketball, you know he wasn’t going to play with a number 23 Jersey. No, that number was retired, period.  While this gent’s jersey number is still retired, he’ll be wearing it every day, though not in a manner of his choosing. As reported by wdrb.com:

The University of Kentucky may have retired Richie Farmer’s number 32 jersey, but the federal Bureau of Prisons is bringing it back.  The prison system has assigned Farmer inmate number 16226-032 for use when he reports to a yet-to-be revealed facility by March 18. [The inmate number will be worn on his prison jump suit.]

That’s got to hurt. What did he do?

The former Kentucky Agriculture Commissioner is set to serve 27 months behind bars after pleading guilty to abusing his public office.

And in case you’re wondering what he did to merit the retirement of his jersey, it’s pretty impressive.

Farmer gained basketball fame as part of “The Unforgettables” — a group of Wildcats who stayed with the program through NCAA sanctions and led Kentucky back to the NCAA tournament in 1992.

The school hangs Farmer’s basketball jersey from the rafters of Rupp Arena in Lexington.

Here’s the source.