Squeezed on:

cat
All parents get mad at their kids. But this? From the Broadview Heights Police Blotter, as reported by the Sun Star Courier at cleveland.com:

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, EAST ROYALTON ROAD: At 6:19 p.m. Thursday, a patrolman went to Marymount South Medical Center for a report of domestic violence.

A 17-year-old girl told the officer she and her mother have not been getting along lately. [A major understatement, as you will soon see.] She said she had just had surgery and is staying at home to recover. She said her mother came into her room and they started arguing.

Squeezed on:

bride and groom
People get cold feet all the time, and there are several ways to deal with it. You probably haven’t thought of this one, as reported by The Daily Mail:

A fiancé faked his own death by telephoning his partner and pretending to be his father breaking the bad news – so he could get out of his approaching wedding day, it was revealed today.

Wow. A real gentleman this one.

Squeezed on:

faucet
As criminal schemes go, this actually isn’t a bad one. So no slamming the victim today. As reported by per NJ.com:

According to Montclair Detective Lt. David O’Dowd, the “diversion-style” burglary hit a Fairview Place home at about 2 p.m. on August 8 when a man wearing beige work clothes and carrying a portable radio rang the doorbell.

It begins …

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

twitter tweeter

Everyone has heard the old saying about real estate – location, location, location. If you didn’t think that this applies to tweeting, you will now. As reported by The Arab Times:

The Misdemeanor Court sentenced a Twitter user to two months in prison with hard labor and temporary compensation for insulting a poet. Attorney Hussein Al-Asfour, lawyer for the plaintiff, pointed out in court that the accused tweeted statements deemed offensive to the poet; especially since the tweets were about the latter’s personal life. The accused posted the offensive tweets again after the plaintiff announced his plan to contest the parliamentary elections. During investigations, the defendant refuted the allegation that he tweeted the offensive statements; claiming another person used his account. However, when the complaint was referred to the Electronic Crimes Department, it was found out the accused owns the account and he posted the insulting statements repeatedly. Taking these circumstances into consideration, Al-Asfour asked the court to impose the harshest penalty on the accused.

Yikes.

Squeezed on:

love heart
Oh true love. The lengths people will go to. This is a new one on The Juice, and that’s saying something after doing this every day for so many years. As reported by ktvu.com:

A woman in Texas told police she stole a bottle of cheap wine from a gas station so she could get arrested and see her boyfriend in the Williamson County Jail, according to a warrant.

Brilliant!

Squeezed on:

beer
How is it possible for a 32-year-old man to get busted for underage drinking? Here’s how: Commit the crime [allegedly] when you are underage, then let a few years go by. Doh! As reported by The Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):

Patrolman Tim McGuire stopped on Route 513 by the Route 78 interchange to help with a disabled vehicle Monday around 7:30 p.m.

Ummm … Thanks Officer, but I’m good?

Squeezed on:

cell phone
So the cops caught these guys with a cell phone they had already thrown away? How’s that possible? Well, as reported by the Volusia County [Florida] Sheriff’s Office:

A 66-year-old woman had gone to the store Saturday afternoon and when she returned to her Saxon Boulevard home she discovered that someone had smashed a back window and gotten inside. When deputies responded, jewelry, a laptop computer and a cell phone were discovered missing. The victim used a cell phone locator service to get the general area the phone was in.

How did the police get from the “general area” of the phone to the perps?

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

laptop computer
Who burgles a joint and leaves a perfectly good laptop behind? And in case you’re wondering, it was out in the open, as you will soon see. As reported by tcpalm.com:

In a case police are calling unique, a homeowner used his laptop computer video camera to capture a photo of a suspect breaking into his home.

Boom!

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

stare staring

As The Juice always says, if you don’t like what you’re looking at, look away! Per The Dutch Harbor Telegraph (Dutch Harbor, Alaska):

1312 – Assistance Rendered – Previously convicted assailant reported that since he returned to town, his victim has been giving him the stink-eye. An officer advised the assailant to simply avoid looking at the victim.

No, not the stink-eye! Run!

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

thief busted hidden camera
Yes, loyal readers, the cameras are everywhere. So you might as well behave yourself. It’s too late for this gent, as reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Detective David Dupont said a homeowner arrived home just before 4 p.m. Aug. 1 to find his 72 Fern lane home burglarized. A Marshall amplifier and electric guitar, kept in an upstairs office, were missing along with a pocketbook, a Coach wristlet and $100 taken from a bedroom closet.

Dupont said the burglar went through every room of the house, leaving drawers open after rifling through them.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated: