Squeezed on:

wet%20t-shirt%20contest%20tee%20shirt.jpg
[Sorry if this disappoints anyone, but that there is a costume.]
So wet t-shirt contests might not be your thing, but really, is it something you want to spend time prosecuting? In Mason City, Iowa, that would be a “yes,” as reported by RadioIowa.com.

A magistrate court jury in Cerro Gordo County has found the owner of a Clear Lake tavern not guilty of violating that community’s adult entertainment ordinance. The six-member panel returned the verdict after Alan Slater was charged last June after allegedly holding a wet t-shirt contest at The Marina.

Slater testified that he was planning to hold a wet t-shirt contest at the bar, but then backed out after thinking that he’d receive a citation from the city. He said he then let the public host the contest at the bar and directed his staff to keep things within the law.

Clever man, that Mr. Slater.

Squeezed on:

toilet%20paper%20funny%20bush%20political.jpg

Texas Inmate George Morgan filed a habeas petition, which the state moved to dismiss. This didn’t sit well with Mr. Morgan. So he wrote a note to assistant U.S. attorney Susan San Miguel on toilet paper. What did the note say? As reported by Courthouse News Service:

“Dear Susan, Please use this to wipe your ass, that argument was a bunch of shit! You[rs] Truly, George Morgan.”

Ba da bing. Ba da boom.

One of Miguel’s co-workers returned the note to the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, where Morgan is incarcerated.

And?

Morgan was charged with using vulgar language and was punished with a loss of 15 days of credit earned for good behavior.

Morgan appealed, arguing that the punishment violated his right to free speech. And he … lost.

Judge Jolly acknowledged that prisoners have certain First Amendment rights, but said those rights are restricted by the state’s interest in rehabilitating the prisoner.

“Morgan’s note demonstrated a completely unjustified disrespect for authority, expressed in the most unacceptably vulgar form, which would be offensive in mainstream society,” Jolly wrote.

“It would not be tolerated from a peer member of the bar, and would not be tolerated from a pro se litigant in the free setting.”

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

Road%20Rage.jpg

So this man and his son (the Estays) were cruising down an Idaho highway when they saw their car … being driven by someone else. They say they thought it was stolen. Nope. Turns out it was being repossessed (by the Lyles). A car chase ensued. Per kpvi.com:

When the cars pulled over, Estay admits to slashing the tires so it couldn’t get away. His son is said to have attacked Landon Lyle. Estay is said to have stabbed Amy Lyle, but today any actual “stabbing” was disputed. Estay says it was an accident when he was approached from behind while slashing the tires. And both parties today did agree the injury was more of a slight laceration.

The younger Estay got 5 days in jail and 2 days probation. His dad “will serve 20 days in jail, pay a $1,000 fine, go to anger management, and write a letter of apology.” But wait. There’s more – and it’s not good for Mr. Lyle.

Peter Estay today called himself a victim, and in many ways, he now is. Because after a bizarre twist of revenge two months ago, Landon Lyle was arrested for shooting his gun into Estay’s home, with Estay’s wife inside.

So while this two-year saga could’ve drawn to a close with Monday’s sentencing, it is still far from over. Lyle is now charged with second degree attempted murder.

Squeezed on:

love%20shopping%20to%20shop%20i.jpg

Honestly, I’m not a Kohl’s guy either. But some people get really excited about shopping there …

A man from Oconomowoc, accused of fondling himself in a department store, was charged Monday with one count of Lewd and Lascivious Behavior.

According to the criminal complaint, Daniel Wagner, 38, was seen masturbating in a Kohl’s Department store on St. Paul Ave. in April.

Wagner was also charged with Disorderly Conduct. If convicted, he faces up to a year in prison.

(The above is from a report by Wisconsin station TMJ4 at todaystmj4.com.)

Squeezed on:

flower%20garden%20gardening.jpg

There are folks who garden in more traditional garb (clothes), and then there are the Pierces of Boulder, Colorado. They were spotted gardening in front of their rental unit with very little on – Ms. Pierce was sporting pasties and a thong; Mr. Pierce was was just wearing a thong. Some uptight neighbors called the cops. As reported by the Daily Camera:

… the officers who responded confirmed what the Pierces already believed to be true: Their dress, though scanty, was legal.

As long as a person’s genitalia are covered, no law has been broken, Boulder police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley said.

Yeah! Take that, you uptight, puritanical … What’s that? You say there’s a nuisance clause in my lease? And I’m going to get kick out anyway?

… the Pierces received a letter form Annie Mount at Boulder Housing Partners, their landlord, warning that the behavior was a “nuisance” to the community and needed to be changed. A clause in the Pierces’ lease prohibits “nuisance” behavior, and violating the lease agreement can be grounds for eviction.

Kind of a vague term, no? Yes.

Betsy Martens, executive director of the Boulder Housing Partners, which administers Boulder’s affordable housing program, acknowledged that defining the word nuisance is one of the “most difficult concepts in the law.”

If Boulder tries the nuclear option, the Pierce’s won’t go down without a fight.

“We want our freedom,” Robert Pierce said. “We want exactly what the law gives you, and we don’t want to be harassed about it.”

Squeezed on:

bad%20doctor%20pocket.jpg Although he had examined the patient several times in 2002 and 2003, the doctor failed to notice that his patient had a 32 pound cyst! What did he tell her? Per the Otago [New Zealand] Daily Times online, that …

…she was overweight and prescribed weight-loss pills.

Wrong. Very wrong.

The woman, a 44-year-old mother of three, was eventually was taken to Christchurch Hospital in severe pain where the cyst was removed. The woman told The Press yesterday the cyst was cancerous and she needed an operation to remove her womb, ovaries and fallopian tubes.

What happened to the doctor?

[He] was found guilty of professional misconduct by the Health Practitioners Disciplinary Tribunal in 2006. He was censured and fined $22,500 but his name was suppressed to protect his practice and family.

Wow. That’s it? I agree with the victim:

“I’ve lost my insides, but he’s still practising,” she said.

She felt ill that the doctor continued to treat patients who were unaware of the misconduct finding. The patient called for a radical change from the health system so the names of medical professionals found guilty of professional misconduct were made public.

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

shopping_girl.gif Oh no you didn’t K-Mart. You didn’t just charge Mary Bach tax on that toilet paper. Everybody knows that, unlike other paper goods, toilet paper is not taxed in Pennsylvania. No, Ms. Bach is not making a federal case out it – just a teeny, tiny $100 state court case. Now maybe you think a lawsuit over 14 cents is trivial. Perhaps you didn’t know that Ms. Bach went back to the store just to see if they corrected the problem. They didn’t. So she’s owed 28 cents.

Why sue for $100? Because that’s the amount allowed under Pennsylvania’s Unfair Trade Practices and Consumer Protection Law. And if you think I’m ridiculing Ms. Bach, you’re wrong. I salute her. If nobody watches these little things, companies will get away with them. And if you multiply the little things by the number of purchases, they’re not little things any more. To read about this and other dragons Ms. Bach has slayed in the past (and there have been a few) click here.

Squeezed on:

question%20mark.jpg

If you blamed your mom for severing your pinky, would you sue her? A contractor in New Jersey did. As reported at NorthJersey.com:

In 2006, John P. Garrity was installing hardwood floors for his mother, Nancy, when the accident occurred, according to court papers. While working with a miter saw in her garage, Nancy came up behind John and tapped him on his right shoulder. In depositions, John Garrity said that when he quickly turned around, his finger slipped into the saw’s path and severed his pinky.

Yikes. The case went to trial. The verdict? $95,500 for Mr. Garrity, plus $18,500 for medical expenses. The actual award was double that, but the jury found that Mr. Garrity was 50% responsible.

Squeezed on:

marijuana%20joint%20pot%20lit%20smoking%20dope.jpg

Sort of. A 17-year-old Washington student stood before his class and presented his essay on why marijuana should be legalized. And? Oh no you didn’t… Per The News Tribune:

At the end of his speech … [he] pulled out a joint, lit it and smoked away. Then he ate the remains.

Yes! Victory! He ate it, so you can’t … what’s that?

For that he got a quick escort to the school office and then a ride to Remann Hall juvenile jail.

The boy … was arrested on suspicion of unlawful drug possession, a misdemeanor.

In case you were wondering, he has a 3.7 GPA.

Squeezed on:

helping%20hand%20hands.jpg

I guess it depends on what you mean by “helping.” If you mean helping the possible jumper – who had been standing on the bridge for hours – make up his mind, then yes, Lai Jiansheng provided a helping hand to Chen Fuchao. Lai approached Chen and shook his hand, then pushed him off the bridge! Luckily for Chen, as reported by The China Post,

[he] fell 26 feet (8 meters) onto a partially inflated emergency air cushion laid out by authorities and survived, suffering spine and elbow injuries, the official Xinhua News Agency said Saturday.

Really? Only 26 feet? Why was Chen on the bridge?

According to Xinhua, Chen wanted to kill himself because he had accrued 2 million yuan (US$290,000) in debt from a failed construction project.

Okay, but the burning question is, why did Lai push him?

… Lai Jiansheng had been fed up with what he called Chen’s “selfish activity,” Xinhua said. Traffic around the Haizhu bridge in the city of Guangzhou had been backed up for five hours and police had cordoned off the area.

“I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interest,” Lai was quoted as saying by Xinhua. “They do not really dare to kill themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities’ attention to their appeals.”

Photos in the Beijing Morning Post showed Lai, shoeless and in a T-shirt, saluting after Chen fell.

Cold. But, here’s one more thing about Lai: it has been reported that “he had been on medication for “a mental illness” for decades and had been on his way to a hospital for his pills.” So what happened to Lai?

A police officer who answered the telephone Saturday at a station close to the bridge confirmed the incident and said it was under investigation. He refused to give any other details and hung up.

You can read more here.

Posted in: Uncool
Squeezed on:
Updated: