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This is some serious chutzpah. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

A Chicago police officer fired after a video camera recorded him beating a female bartender [see above] is asking a judge to review his termination.

The grounds? They include:

[improperly] using the infamous videotape in deciding to fire him; and

wrongly viewing as a problem Abbate’s decision to invoke his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination at least 75 times during his board hearing.

Likelihood of success?

Abbate’s challenge could be moot, as he was convicted of felony aggravated battery in criminal court last summer. The city bars the hiring of people with felony convictions as police officers.

Um … er … nevermind.

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I told you not to tell me that, but you just couldn’t resist! You had to tell me that, as reported by news.com.au:

A robber wearing a transparent plastic bag over his head has held up a service station on the Gold Coast.

Pure genius.

Police said the man entered the BP service station at Labrador about 3.53pm yesterday wearing the plastic bag, and wielding a large carving knife, according to the Courier-Mail.

He approached the male attendant and demanded cash.

In response, the worker placed the money tray from the register on the counter and the robber helped himself.

At least someone was thinking clearly. (Get it!) Now this may surprise you, given the awesomeness of the disguise:

The worker was able to give police a good description of the bandit. He was described as about 170cm tall in his mid-20s and wearing three-quarter length denim shorts, a white T-shirt and a sky blue baseball cap.

And?

The man handed himself in to police today. Police expect to charge the man over the robbery.

This gent is up there with the wet bandits.

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Public urination must occur almost as frequently as … um … public intoxication? Anyway, you probably wouldn’t be reading this if the gentleman in question, Mr. Nathan Strawn, had not allegedly urinated on the Nativity scene in a public square in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania! The Juice is not a criminal lawyer, but how about this defense:

Public? I thought it was some old, abandoned barn. Damn you pea-sized bladder!

Back to the crime scene. As reported by The Times Leader:

[King’s College student] Nathan Strawn, 22, was arrested after “he was observed fully exposed urinating on the Nativity scene located on Public Square,” city police said in a press release.

The incident occurred at approximately 1:54 a.m., police said.

Strawn was charged with indecent exposure, desecration of venerated objects, open lewdness, public drunkenness and disorderly conduct.

Say what? “Desecration of venerated objects?” Venerated by who? Regardless of one’s religious beliefs, the problematic nature of this vague charge should be axiomatic. As for the rest of the charges, well … er … uh … um. “Say, how ’bout those [fill in sports team]?”

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Okay, so what did it say? I don’t know! This dude appeared before McCracken (Kentucky) District Judge Chris Hollowell wearing an “inappropriate” t-shirt. (James Hinman was in court on a contempt charge for failing to pay a traffic fine.) Said hardcore criminal Hinman: “The shirt isn’t really obscene, but it does imply something obscene.” What did it say?!

Said the Judge about the incident: “I’m not trying to be the fashion police, but what he was wearing was extremely disrespectful and inappropriate.” Damn it! AP reporter, what did it say?

“The T-shirt used an altered spelling of an expletive that implied an obscene phrase.”

Shizzle. I give up. Oh, and what about turning the shirt inside out? Hinman offered, but the Judge refused. Wait! Don’t go yet! I found it. Ridiculous self-censoring media makes you scour the net for a friggin’ shirt! Here it is, really.

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Now The Juice can certainly imagine parishioners thwarting a robbery attempt during a church service. But a church office is a pretty soft target. Nevertheless, as reported by The Charlotte Observer:

A northeast Charlotte church became a crime scene Wednesday evening, after a man tried to rob the place, police say.

It happened about 8 p.m. at the Written Epistles Church of Jesus Christ, in the 2900 block of Derita Road. That is off Gibbon Road, near the intersection of West Sugar Creek and Mallard Creek roads.

Police say a man armed with a shotgun entered the church office and demanded money.

But the man fled without taking anything, according to police. No arrests have been made, and there were no injuries.

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I think the subject of this post would agree with Saint Jerome, who said that “The friendship that can cease has never been real.” As reported in the Sun Star Courier:

A Columbia Station [Ohio] man was arrested Sunday for allegedly stealing a car from his friend. The man allegedly pushed his friend out of the car, took the keys and drove off while the pair was at the Royalton Road Shell station. The man was arrested about an hour after he took the car.

Cold. Stone cold. Time to get a dog?

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So this judge was being sworn in on Saturday in Ulster County, New York. For this solemn ceremoney, of course he placed his hand on a … dictionary? True. Seems they couldn’t find a Bible. Per The Daily Freeman:

In a light moment during Saturday’s ceremony, Kavanagh had [Donald A.] Williams place his hand on a dictionary, rather than a Bible, for the swearing-in. Williams said later that there was no Bible available and that he didn’t mind using a different book because the swearing-in was merely ceremonial. (He officially became the county’s judge on Friday.)

Here’s the source.

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As you can see from yesterday’s post, folks have not been happy with McDonald’s lately. A woman at a McDonald’s in Kansas City just LOST it over her hamburger order. As reported by KMBC-TV:

On Dec. 27, a woman at the McDonald’s at 3255 Main St. was upset about her order and returned her hamburger twice, demanding her money back.

Surveillance video showed that the woman started throwing things. She grabbed a water dispenser and dumped it on the counter. She also shoved a cookie container and several cash registers off the counter and threw a “Wet Floor” sign at the clerk.

When the clerk said she was going to call police, the woman fled the restaurant.

You can see the surveillance video here.

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This woman either had a serious case of the munchies, is just filled with rage, or is an alien sent to earth specifically to gather chicken nuggets. As reported by WNWO in Toledo, Ohio:

Toledo Police say Melodi Dushane, 24, stopped at the fast-food restaurant at Front and Main Streets in East Toledo early Friday morning and asked for chicken nuggets. When the drive-thru attendant told her the restaurant was only serving breakfast and that the item was not available, Dushane reached through the window and punched the attendant in the mouth.

Talk about shooting the messenger … But that’s not all …

After a night manager came to the window, Dushane began swinging her fists at her. The manager attempted to pull Dushane through the window by her hair. After being released, Dushane then punched through the drive-thru’s glass window.

Damn!

Dushane was treated at Mercy St. Charles Hospital for her injuries and then incarcerated at the Lucas County Jail.

In court on Saturday, Dushane pleaded not guilty to a felony vandalism charge. She was released from police custody on her own recognizance and is scheduled to be in court next on Jan. 28.

Think she’ll be going back to that McDonald’s anytime soon? Nope.

A judge has ordered that Dushane not visit the 90 Main St. McDonald’s location again.

That leaves about 13,000 other McDonald’s (in the U.S. – really) that she is free to visit… Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Dushane.

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Some people just want to be left alone, regardless of one’s intentions to assist them. An Oklahoma man learned this the hard way. As reported by kxii.com:

It was a surreal scene yesterday at a Durant elementary school when a reckless driver confronted by a Good Samaritan hits him with his car, flashes an obscene gesture for all to see, and then takes off with the man still on the hood of his car.

Um, you can just drop me off here.

Durant Police say the victim went to confront 23-year old Johnathan Olive after he’d wildly circled Robert E. Lee Elementary School in his Camaro around 2:30 p.m.

When he tapped on the glass and asked Olive to roll down the window, he refused. The man then walked in front of the car [not the best of match-ups], and Olive hit the gas, throwing the victim onto the hood and traveling about four blocks with the man still atop the car. When the man pleaded with Olive to stop, police say he made an obscene gesture and laughed.

Just a tad sadistic?

He then entered a church parking lot and made several circles trying to throw the man off the car, before he was unable to hang on any longer. Thankfully the man escaped with only minor cuts and scratches. Olive fled the scene but was located a short time later by police.

The charges?

He was booked into the Bryan County Jail for Assault and Battery with a dangerous weapon, DUI, driving while suspended, and possession of marijuana.

Doubtful that Mr. Olive is still laughing…

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