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Lots of people eat fish. Probably most people. Is it really so bad to eat a goldfish? Apparently so, as Briton Chris Caswell found out the hard way. As reported – with no slant whatsoever[!] – in The Sun:

Cruel Chris Caswell was arrested yesterday over the sick stunt that was videoed by his giggling pals and posted on Facebook.

Damn you Facebook!

The lout, 30, paid £1.99 for a fish then asked staff to put it in a glass he had brought along, claiming he lived just across the road.

A puzzled shop worker agreed – then watched in horror as he downed the fish in one swallow.

Oh the humanity!

After Caswell ate the creature, his pal doing the filming crowed: “Goldfish down the hatch!” The yobs then marched out of the shop cackling and joking.

Police were alerted after the appalling footage was posted on the web.

Roofer Caswell was arrested in a dawn raid at his home in Newton Aycliffe, Co Durham, yesterday on suspicion of cruelty to animals.

Really? A “raid”?

He was quizzed at a police station for an hour then released.

Should have asked President Obama for special dispensation to send the gent to Guantanamo Bay.

The yob last night insisted he was an animal lover and it was just a prank.

He bleated: “It was over a year ago. We had been out drinking at a friend’s party. I can’t remember much about it. I have just got a puppy. I like animals.”

If Caswell is found guilty of animal cruelty he could face a £20,000 fine or six months in jail.

This guy is a criminal? Sounds more like a prankster. Here’s the source, including video of the incident.

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Fancy having a “go” at the “Good To Go”? Maybe that’s how these folks ended up carnally knowing each other for over an hour outside of the “Good To Go” convenience store in Florida. As reported by WZVN-HD:

According to a sheriff’s report, deputies responded to the Good To Go Store at 16871 San Carlos Boulevard in Fort Myers in reference to an indecent exposure call.

As the deputies arrived, they spotted a naked Pomfret and half-naked Prothero having sex in plain view underneath a tree near the store, according to the report.

When a deputy walked over and told them to stop and get dressed, neither listened, the deputy said.

Sorry deputy. The Juice believes they actually did listen to you … and just chose to ignore you since they were kinda busy.

Once the deputy announced she was with the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, both reportedly stopped and put on their clothes.

And then?

George Pomfret, 49, and Brenda Prothero, 48, both of Fort Myers, were arrested [taken into custody] and charged with Indecent Exposure in Public.

Click here for the source, including photographs.

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There’s nothing wrong with grown men liking toys, be they iPhones, sports cars, or … plastic action figures … A man in Japan was perhaps a little too attached to his toys, based on what he did when his mommy threw some of them away. As reported in the Japan Times:

A man charged with torching his home in Kasai, Hyogo Prefecture, admitted Tuesday he did it out of anger because his mother threw away some of his plastic figures from the “Gundam” animation franchise.

Oh, they were “Gundam” action figures? Now it all makes sense!

“Plastic figures of Gundam are like my life partners. I thought I would rather burn to death with them than have them thrown away,” said Yoshifumi Takabe, 30, who pleaded guilty as his trial began at the Kobe District Court. Nobody was injured in the blaze [although his mom was in the house!].

Takabe told the court he piled 200 to 300 boxes of Gundam plastic figures up to near the ceiling in his room.

Very uncool, especially since his little brother, mother and grandmother also lived in the 2-story house he torched . Here’s the source.

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The Juice is of course referring to Elmo. For you Elmo fans, no worries. It turns out Elmo can take care of himself, and then some. As reported by the Orlando Sentinel:

Police in Winter Park said a man dressed as Elmo was attacked at a local music store on Saturday afternoon by a man who believed the Sesame Street character was a threat to him.

According to Winter Park police Lt. Wayne Farrell, the man had been hired to wear the Elmo suit for an event at Winter Park Village, and was on his break when the attack occurred at the Guitar Center on Orlando Avenue at about 3 p.m.

“He just wandered into the Guitar Center to look at instruments,” Farrell said. That’s when police say a man, who they said felt “threatened” by the Sesame Street star, attacked.

“He immediately thought (the man dressed as Elmo) was a threat,” Farrell said. Farrell called the ensuing struggle a “very physical fight,” with multiple punches thrown.

Who won?

“Elmo got the best of the guy,” Farrell said. “He broke two of his fingers.”

Adding insult to injury …

Police took the assailant to a local hospital, where Farrell said he will be temporarily detained for mental health evaluation.

Here’s the source.

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For those of you not familiar with a “happy finish,” have you not heard of Google? But back to today’s story, which takes us to an Australian Subway. As reported in the Northern Territory News:

A female robber surprised staff at a fast food restaurant with a strip, before fleeing with more than $500 in cash.

Before some of you get too excited, the term “strip” is used a little liberally.

Staff at the Subway restaurant in the Darwin suburb of Berrimah discovered a whole new meaning for “one with the lot” during the brazen daylight robbery at the weekend.

Police said a woman – believed to be between 25 and 30 years of age with dark hair – walked into the Subway on Sunday at 11.15am, demanding money and “waving a knife”.

Police said the woman then removed her top, exposing a black bikini top, before running to a waiting getaway car.

Now that’s an exit.

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So, as a result of this diet, you’ve gone from 413 pounds to 308 pounds in 8 months. Awesome, right? Not according to much-lighter Broderick Lloyd Laswell. Not only is he not pleased, he filed suit against the responsible parties – his jailers in Benton County, Arkansas (the Sheriff and the Jail Captain). Here are some of his complaints, as reported in The Northwest Arkansas Morning News:

“There are noticeable differences on the size of biscuits and cakes, as well as the sides,” according to Laswell, who also wants hot meals to be served from the jail’s kitchen.

“On several occasions I have started to do some exercising and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out,” Laswell wrote in his complaint. “About an hour after each meal my stomach starts to hurt and growl. I feel hungry again.”

“If we are in a small pod all day do next to nothing for physical exercise we should not lose weight,” according to Laswell. “The only reason we lost weight in here is because we are literally are being starved to death.”

If Jail Captain Hunter Petray is correct, it’s unlikely Mr. Laswell will starve to death. Captain Petray said that the meals average 3,000 calories per day.

Update: He dropped the suit! Perhaps this may be why, as reported by onpointnews.com.

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Yes, death for a weed dealer. Regular Juice readers know that certain countries, like Malaysia, dole out harsh sentences for drug dealers Case in point: M. Jegatheswaran, age 32, had just over 2 pounds of marijuana in his motorcycle basket. Per the New Straits Times:

A traditional medicine seller was yesterday sentenced to death by the High Court for trafficking in 958g of cannabis …at a car park area of a public housing flat in Ampang Jajar, Jalan Permatang Pauh, about 10pm on May 8, 2007.

High Court judicial commissioner Nurmala Salim ruled that the defence had failed to cast reasonable doubt on the prosecution’s case.

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Can you begin a life of crime while still in diapers. The short answer is, it Depends. (Get it!) But seriously, a baby was involved in the commission of a crime. How, you ask? Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:

A New Hampshire woman has been indicted for hiding cigarettes in her baby’s diaper before handing the baby to an inmate during a prison visit.

Snap! What are the charges for that?

Forty-five-year-old Wendy Parent of Belmont was charged with delivering contraband to a prisoner – a Class B felony punishable by up to seven years in prison.

First of all, “Parent?” Of course her name is “Parent.” Secondly, 7 years? That would be a little harsh for trying to pass some cigarettes. What about the inmate?

The inmate has not been charged and his identity and relationship to the baby have not been released by prison officials.

Here’s the source.

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It’s always a good idea to check your doctor out online before your first visit. Had some of Dr. George Korol’s patients done so, they probably would have asked to see another doctor. As reported in The Edmonton Journal:

A Winnipeg doctor who previously lost his U.S. medical licence for violent criminal behaviour has been stripped of his ability to practise medicine in Manitoba …

First question [rhetorical]: How did he ever get a license in Manitoba?

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When you gotta go, you gotta go, right? No. No. No. No. No. Especially “no” if your “target” is … the police station! What, you don’t believe The Juice? Do you believe The Detroit Free Press?

… in Royal Oak … at 4:39 p.m. Monday — in broad daylight on a weekday afternoon — [a man] was seen by several witnesses urinating on the side of the Royal Oak police station, according to Lt. Gordon Young. It gets better.

“After urinating, the suspect entered the station in an attempt to file a police report on an undisclosed matter,” Young said today.

But witnesses had quickly informed the police at the front desk, Deputy City Attorney Mark Liss said. The man was issued a citation, and likely will serve no jail time but pay a fine and court costs of $250; the maximum would have been $500 and up to 90 days in jail for public urination, Liss said today.

Wow. Click here for the source.