Squeezed on:

bumper%20cars.gif

It’s undisputed that, if you postpone dealing with a problem it goes away. Wait, you mean that’s not true? Then why does everyone act as if it were? Anyway, in yet another example of what The Juice thought was a universal truth, per The Orlando Sentinel:

According to an arrest report, the incident began in a shopping plaza at Pine Hills Road and State Road 50, where 31-year-old Schyvonne Whitaker saw her boyfriend talking to another woman.

The woman, Tina Reese, said that Whitaker approached the pair in a red sport utility vehicle. The boyfriend’s response, Reese said, was to tell Whitaker to “drive off.”

Oh, it’s on now.

Reese left the shopping plaza at the intersection, heading north on Pine Hills in a Pontiac G6, when suddenly she saw Whitaker’s Suzuki XL7 approach at a high speed.

Whitaker began ramming the rear bumper of the sedan, witnesses said, and both drivers lost control. They crashed into a house at the intersection of Deauville Drive.

Before the crash, it seems that Ms. Whitaker was a bit overconfident.

Whitaker was taken into custody shortly after the incident. A passenger in her SUV told deputies that Whitaker said “I got you now” as she rammed Reese’s bumper.

And the fallout?

Reese, Whitaker and the other occupants in both vehicles survived mostly unscathed. The front walls of the small, one-story structure, however, suffered heavy damage in the crash.

Deputies arrested Whitaker in the suspected attack, charging her with aggravated battery with a motor vehicle, aggravated assault with a motor vehicle and criminal mischief.

An arresting deputy added a charges of providing a false identification and driving with a suspended license after he said Whitaker purposely misspelled her name while in custody.

And here’s another reason why maybe Ms. Whitaker should have dealt with her problems off the road.

The deputy wrote in his report that he later discovered Whitaker’s license has 24 active suspensions dating back to 2008, and is also currently expired.

Records show Whitaker has several previous arrests in Orange County, and served more than three years in prison after a 1995 conviction on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

She remained in the Orange County Jail on Saturday afternoon. Her bail was set at $5,650.

What? With that history, and trying to run someone off the road, bail is $5,650? How do you even come up with a number like that? Here’s the source, including photos of the crash scene.

Squeezed on:

money%20cash%20bills%20paper%20bank%20piles%20tons.jpg

If you watch football or basketball, no doubt you’ve heard announcers say that a team will continue running a certain play until their opponent is able to stop it. Well, it seems a bank robber in Florida subscribes to the same theory. Per The South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

Authorities are on the lookout for a robber with some brand loyalty: He’s struck the same bank so many times, the tellers recognize him.

“It’s him again,” one of them said during the latest heist on Saturday, according to the Broward Sheriff’s Office.

The man has targeted the BankAtlantic branch at 4211 W. Commercial Blvd., four times since Feb. 1.

Officials described him as a portly man with dread-locks.

You’re probably thinking “is this guy nuts?” But consider this:

He has worn a different outfit for each heist.

On Saturday, he wore black pants, a black T-shirt, dark gloves with red stripes and a black hat with red and yellow stripes. He ordered two tellers to stuff cash into a white, plastic grocery bag, then casually walked away, the Sheriff’s Office said.

Brilliant!

Squeezed on:

doctor.jpg

If this case is at all typical, it’s very tough for a doctor in the UK to be permanently barred from practicing medicine. As reported by The Daily Express:

Dr Ellen MacInnes, who has also been banned from driving three times, had to provide a blood sample to prove she was fit to get back behind the wheel, a disciplinary hearing heard.

… However the doctor, of Chelmsford, Essex, abused her position of trust and lied to one of her patients by inventing an illness and claiming she needed to take a sample of their blood. She also forged the signature of a fellow ­doctor.

You probably already know what she did with the blood.

… testers became suspicious when two samples arrived at their laboratory – one clean and one with “abnormalities”.

Doh!

Dr MacInnes, formerly of the Baddow Village Surgery in Essex, admitted acting dishonestly when she appeared before a disciplinary panel.

The punishment?

The General Medical Council panel banned her from medicine for a year “for the protection of patients, the public interest and her own interest”.

You might be thinking: “that seems reasonable. Maybe she just needs another chance.” Well, it turns out she’s already had another chance, and another.

She was banned after being sacked from the Tennyson House Surgery in Chelmsford in 2006 after fitting a contraceptive coil “while smelling of alcohol”.

She was also suspended for six months in 2009 after receiving her third conviction for drink-driving.

So, after all that, she can reapply in a year. Here’s the source.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

sign%20wacky%20crazy%20silly%20dumb%20stupid.jpg

Who is the source of these strange driving-related laws? Avis. Here are some of the laws Avis found, which are published in a “Holiday Highway Code.”

In Cyprus, it’s illegal to drink ANYTHING while you are driving, including water.

In Greece, if you park illegally, the police may seize your license plates!

In Romania and Russia, “it’s actually against the law to drive a dirty vehicle.”

In Denmark, “before you turn the ignition, make sure you check for people under the car – a legal requirement alongside checking the brakes, lights, steering and horn before you drive.”

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

snacks%20chips%20pretzels.jpg

Stealing snack food may be sweeping the nation. The Juice will monitor the situation and keep you posted. The latest installment, which involves undergarments, took place at a gas station in Valparaiso, Indiana. As reported by nwitimes.com:

Faith Green, 39, of Valparaiso faces theft, public intoxication, resisting law enforcement and criminal mischief charges, while Anthony Green, 23, Joliet, Ill., faces resisting law enforcement and drunken driving charges, all stemming from a bizarre Wednesday morning encounter with police.

Around 3:15 a.m. Wednesday, Valparaiso police reportedly found the Greens, both allegedly intoxicated, inside the Pilot Travel Center, 4105 Morthland Drive.

An employee told officers Faith Green reportedly caused $200 in damage to the gas station’s restroom.

Why? That’s just weird. And then …

As an officer was removing the woman from the store, she reportedly began unloading snack cakes and candy bars from her bra.

There goes the snack in the clink. Or did it …

Police said [at] Porter County Jail … officers reportedly found another pack of cookies in Faith Green’s underwear.

Curse you thorough-searching officer! As for Mr. Green:

Officers said Anthony Green then began cursing at them, before leaving the store and heading back to his SUV. Police said when he was told to stop, he took a fighting stance with officers. He backed down, police said, after they threatened to use a Taser to subdue him.

Click here for the source.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syRtqc31yrE

So you get a bunch of people together for a very specific purpose, and it’s to loot a 7-11? As reported by cbsnews.com:

Police in Maryland are now investigating a so-called “flash mob robbery” of a 7-Eleven in Germantown, a city 20 miles outside of Washington, D.C.

Montgomery County police say it happened around 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning. That’s when more than two dozen teenagers entered the store and stole snacks, drinks and other items. They immediately left the store a minute later without paying.

Police have now identified several of the suspects through surveillance video. However, a police spokeswoman says she doesn’t know how the robbery was organized.

Not cool. Not funny. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

free.jpg

Um, Mr. French man. Why not just start yelling “anyone want my iPhone, wallet and passport?” Because that’s pretty much what you did. As reported at BrooklynPaper.com:

The 19-year-old [French tourist] was supposed to meet a friend between Van Brunt and Richards streets at 12:15 am, but his chum was nowhere to be found when he arrived.

Confused, the victim turned to the thieves, asking them if he was at the right place. They responded by putting him in a headlock and running off with his iPhone, wallet and his French passport.

There must be a word for a foreign “hayseed,” no?

Squeezed on:

oops%20sign.jpg

Is it just me (it often is), or is it a little strange for a couple to exchange cell phone videos of their genitals? Because that was Christopher Walker’s explanation for sending a cell phone video of his genitals to … not his girlfriend! Doh! Per the BBC:

When interviewed, Walker said he had been off work and and been drinking when he tried to send the call to his girlfriend, but had got the number wrong.

He said the footage of his genitals was meant for his partner …

Hmm. Wouldn’t his girlfriend’s number be in his contacts, so he wouldn’t need to dial it? Although he got probation, Mr. Walker will be a registered sex offender for 3 years, and must attend a community sex offender’s group program. Here’s the source. For a few more cell phone stories, click here.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

Machete%20big%20knife%20bolo%20case.jpg

Over the 14 years Noel “Nutsy” Campbell and Miss Jasmine were involved (I can’t say “together” because at one point, she left him for 4 years!), she left him 13 times. He always took her back. So why did he finally decide he’d had enough? He was tired of the beatings Miss Jasmine inflicted on him, among other things.

She used a machete to beat me all over my body. I ran into my van to get away from her. I managed to get into the van. Nicholas and Noel Jr (his sons) ran me down … and began beating me in my head. I drive away and left them.

She attacked me with a machete that gave me a cut to my right finger on my right hand. I ran out of the house. I went into the van and was reversing. (She) used a stone to hit out the windshield and she also broke my rear view mirror.

So he went to went to court to get a protective order. The Judge said this was the first time she’d ever seen a man bring a woman before the court for abuse. She also said:

“The court makes a protection order or interim protection order forbidding the respondent from entering or remaining in the (applicant’s) residence.” The order, among other clauses, forbids Miss Jasmine from entering Nutsy’s place of work or education, and from molesting the (applicant) by using abusive language to or behaving towards (the applicant) in any manner which is of such nature and degree as to cause annoyance to or result in ill-treatment of the (applicant)”.

Through all of this, Nutsy said he still loves her! Said Nutsy,

… men who are being physically abused by their partners must do the honourable thing and seek legal protection and, if they “can do better, leave the woman, nuh kill har, cause life hard, but it sweet”.

 

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

police%20raid.jpg

A California (you were thinking Idaho?) patrolman attended a transvestite party where he paid an entrance fee of between $50-$100 with the expectation of receiving sexual gratification. Damned if he wasn’t getting his money’s worth – participating in sexual acts – when the police raided the party and caught him in the act!

When the party was raided, what do you think happened to Patrolman Warren?

Continue reading →

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated: