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Can it really be a crime to father or have a second child? If it’s your second illegitimate child, and you’re subject to Mississippi law, then yes. As set forth in the Mississippi Code:

SEC. 97-29-11. Illegitimate children; person becoming natural parent of second illegitimate child; jurisdiction.

(1) If any person, who shall have previously become the natural parent of an illegitimate child within or without this state by coition within or without this state, shall again become the natural parent of an illegitimate child born within this state, he or she shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and, upon conviction thereof, shall be punished by imprisonment in the county jail for not less than thirty (30) days nor more than ninety (90) days or by a fine of not more than Two Hundred Fifty Dollars ($250.00), or both. A subsequent conviction hereunder shall be punishable by imprisonment in the county jail for not less than three (3) months nor more than six (6) months or by a fine of not more than Five Hundred Dollars ($500.00), or both. Provided, however, that for the purpose of this section, multiple births shall be construed to be the birth of one (1) child.

(2) The circuit court of the county in which said illegitimate child is born shall have jurisdiction of any action brought under this section. No male person shall be convicted solely on the uncorroborated testimony of the female person giving birth to the child.

 

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Although words can cause a lot more pain than a physical injury, a 21-year-old man who called a woman “fat” might disagree. As reported by the Lincoln [Nebraska] Journal Star:

Police say a 24-year-old man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn’t like being called “fat.” Police spokeswoman Katie Flood said officers were called to a Lincoln hospital around 3:25 a.m. Wednesday to talk to the injured man.

Flood said officers later learned that the injured man and two others had been arguing with other people at the birthday party. Flood says the man told 21-year-old Anna Godfrey that she was fat.

Officers said Godfrey then tackled the man and took a bite.

And what about the ear?

Flood said the ear chunk was not found.

Zoinks. The charge?

Godfrey was arrested on suspicion of felony assault and remained in custody Wednesday.

To the South Park fans out there, remember, words are like bullets.

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The Juice has the utmost respect for police officers. But, just as there are lawyers who do bad things, such is the case with police officers too. But there are no dashboard cameras for lawyers… Unfortunately for this baton-wielding officer (see below, at the 15 second mark), his dashboard camera was up and running. He was subsequently fired, criminally charged, and convicted, which you can read about here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1joImpo4l0

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Woman looking for hook up hooks up with man looking for same. But this was no ordinary hook-up, as reported by theprovince.com.

The 43-year-old man had met a woman four years his senior in a bar in the southern German city on Monday and she took him back to her apartment for sex, a police spokesman said in a statement.

“There they had sexual intercourse several times,” the spokesman said.

“When the 47-year-old wanted even more, her partner said no.”

The man then attempted to leave the apartment but the woman prevented him from escaping and demanded he sleep with her again.

The man then attempted to leave the apartment but the woman prevented him from escaping and demanded he sleep with her again.

“Because the 43-year-old saw no other alternative, he complied with the woman’s wishes another few times so he could finally leave the apartment,” the spokesman said.

Doesn’t life just suck? This poor, poor man. Finally, he took a stand.

“… when she continued to refuse and demanded even more sex from him, he fled to the balcony and alerted the police.”

What exactly do you yell in that situation?

The woman “then tried to talk the dispatched officers into similar activity but was unsuccessful.”

Is there a stronger word than “insatiable”?

She is now facing possible charges of sexual assault and illegal restraint.

Yikes.

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It’s truly shocking that these guys were caught, what with such a great plan and all. As reported by the Columbia County, Florida Sheriff’s Office:

Deputy Sheriff Jesse Cieslik and Deputy Sheriff Will Porter were patrolling the area of East Duval Street. They encountered a subject driving a scooter on NE James Ave. The subject (Wayne Rieley) was carrying two truck tool boxes and two ladders. Deputies Cieslik and Porter approached the man on the scooter and discovered a second person (Paul Bullard) walking rapidly away. Both men were stopped for questioning. When the man on the scooter was approached by the Deputies, he threw the items off his scooter and stated that he “did not have anything to do with it”.

You mean with the stuff you just threw off your scooter, right in front of us? Doh!

Deputies determined that both men had stolen the tool boxes and ladders from the Hacker Sign Company on East Baya Ave. Suspect Bullard was recently fired from the Hacker Sign Company and knew where the items were being stored. The owner of the Hacker Sign Company responded to scene and took possession of the stolen property. The stolen items were estimated to be valued at over $500.00. Both suspects were arrested without incident and transported to the Columbia County Detention Facility.

Click here to see the source, including mug shots.

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While many police officers in the United States will arrest you for flipping them off, the courts have consistently held that doing so is protected by the First Amendment. There is nothing offering one such protection in Dubai, as an Iranian woman found out. As reported by gulfnews.com:

A businesswoman was sentenced to a month in jail for flashing her middle finger at two policemen after dining out with friends in a five-star hotel.

They said she had been drinking too. Her defense?

N.I. pleaded innocent claiming that she bit her nails and scratched her finger due to a skin disease that she suffers from when the policemen “confusingly thought she flashed her finger in their face”.

… and

The defendant claimed that she didn’t drink liquor and alleged that the food she had at the hotel was cooked in liquor.

Okay. Your evidence?

Sources close to the case told Gulf News that N.I. provided the court with a medical report confirming that she suffers from psoriasis.

The report said she remains under treatment because she suffers itchiness in her hands and legs.

And the prosecution?

Records said the policemen spotted N.I. jumping into the backseat of a car and flashed her middle finger in their face.

The policemen chased the vehicle that carried the defendant for two kilometres then asked the driver to follow them to the nearest police station.

N.I. was sent for examination. She tested positive for liquor.

Ma’am?

When asked about the findings, she said: “The liquor in my blood must have been there because the food at the hotel was cooked in liquor.”

What’s cooked is her goose. In addition to the 30 days in jail …

The court also fined N.I. Dh3,000 for consuming liquor and she will be deported after serving her term.

You’ll find the source here.

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You’ve probably guessed that this sentence was not doled out in a US court. As reported by
emirates247.com, here’s what happened:

The two Saudi women, aged 33 and 31 years, had decided to go out with their children for a week end night but differed on where to go.

“An argument ensued and the two women decided to split…one of them later sent a text to her friend’s mobile phone swearing at her,” Kabar daily said.

A text?!?! So how did the authorities learn about this crime?

“The other woman went to court and showed the judge the message…although that woman said she was joking, the court ordered her lashed 50 times.”

Thanks, “friend.” If it’s any consolation, there is at least some hope for the texter.

Kabar said the court gave the sentenced woman the right to appeal the verdict.

Here’s the source.

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It will become readily apparent why you would not want this woman to look after your kid, though you might want her in the foxhole with you. As reported by wwl.com (New Orleans):

Investigators say 31-year-old New Orleans resident Brittany G. London (pictured above) is the woman who assaulted a security guard with a stun gun at the Esplanade Mall Saturday night.

According to police, London was in the Gymboree store in the mall with an infant in a stroller. When the guard confronted her after seeing London shoplifting, officials say the woman disabled the guard with a stun gun and fled in a gold Honda Accord, leaving the child behind.

Wo! But before you rush to judgment …

London was not the baby’s mother, and the child’s mother reportedly contacted authorities to get the child back after Child Protective Services took custody.

See, the baby wasn’t hers! So what’s all the fuss about? She was just babysitting. The charges?

London faces charges of Child Desertion, Aggravated Battery and Theft.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. London.

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You might know the rest of the saying (“so shall ye reap”), and so might Pennsylvania dentist Thomas McFarland, Jr., but he paid it no heed. The “sewing” in this case was the dumping of about 300 used needles [and other medical waste] into the ocean, which washed up on the beach in Avalon, New Jersey – where McFarland owns a vacation home!

How did the authorities figure out it was McFarland? As reported in The Press of Atlantic City:

… using identifying codes on the medical debris, [investigators] zeroed in on a small number of dental practices where the debris could have originated… McFarland’s was one of them.

The reaping?

McFarland was charged with two third-degree felonies [unlawful disposal of regulated medical waste and unlawful discharge of a pollutant] that each carries a possible prison term of five years and a total of $125,000 in fines, [State Attorney General Anne] Milgram said.

 

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Bad things, at least in this instance in Brigantine, New Jersey. As reported in The Press of Atlantic City:

… Kevin Dorsey, 36, was visiting his girlfriend’s West Brigantine Avenue apartment and had the .40-caliber handgun out when he somehow shot it into the floor at about 12:40 a.m. It kept going through the ceiling downstairs, then grazed the right arm of a woman who was in the first-floor kitchen.

But that wasn’t the end of it:

“Then it hits a kitchen cabinet, hits the floor, deflects 90 degrees and strikes the refrigerator,” the detective continued. “That changes the trajectory again, and it winds up about 15 feet away, striking the boyfriend – who’s sitting on the couch.”

Freaky. What happened to the shooter?

They charged Dorsey with aggravated assault and several firearms violations, including unlawful possession of hollow-point bullets and illegal possession of a gun by a felon. They tacked on several drug charges because in a long search of the apartment, which the woman finally consented to, they found marijuana, cocaine and other illegal drugs. Police determined that the drugs belonged to Dorsey.

Yikes.

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