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Can you begin a life of crime while still in diapers? The short answer is, it Depends. (Get it!) But seriously, a baby was involved in the commission of a crime. How, you ask? Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:

A New Hampshire woman has been indicted for hiding cigarettes in her baby’s diaper before handing the baby to an inmate during a prison visit.

Snap! What are the charges for that?

Forty-five-year-old Wendy Parent of Belmont was charged with delivering contraband to a prisoner – a Class B felony punishable by up to seven years in prison.

First of all, “Parent?” Of course her name is “Parent.” Second, 7 years? That would be a little harsh for trying to pass some cigarettes. What about the inmate?

The inmate has not been charged and his identity and relationship to the baby have not been released by prison officials.

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In some ways, The Juice is like a comedian hoping the buffoon gets elected so he’ll have good material. Well, folks like this will keep The Juice knee-deep in oranges for years to come. Here’s yet another example of a time-wasting prosecution of an f-bomb case. The Juice has two words for these folks: First Amendment. As reported by KJZZ (Arizona):

A Mohave County man convicted of trespassing for wearing an obscenity-laced T-shirt to a Board of Supervisors meeting has lost another round in court. KJZZ’s Al Macias reports.

Just remember, he lost a “round.” He’ll win the fight.

KJZZ first told you about Mervin Fried in March of this year. A justice court found him guilty of trespassing in February after wearing a shirt with obscenities to the Mohave County Board of Supervisors meeting. Fried had maintained that he wore the T-shirt to express his opinion of the board’s decision to increase the county tax rate.

What did the shirt say? On the front, it said “Fuck The Tax.” On the back was the paraphrasing of quote from Supreme Court Justice Harlan from the case of Cohen v. California:

“One Man’s Obscenity is Another’s Lyric.” Harlan

What law was Mr. Fried accused of violating?

A Superior Court judge recently upheld the trespassing conviction, saying the county’s dress code specifically prohibits vulgar messages.

Fried told the Kingman Daily Miner that he plans another appeal.

And he’ll win.

Fried now is running for a seat on the Board of Supervisors.

Here’s the source. Here’s an earlier story, which includes much more detail, and photos of Mr. Fried’s shirt.

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This is a strange one. See if you make the same call the jury did. Here’s the scene, as described in The Oregonian:

The petite 24-year-old Beaverton woman got out of the shower wrapped in a towel, stopped to watch a couple minutes of TV and then sat down on her bed.

While putting lotion on her legs, she realized a man was standing in her closet, staring at her with bright blue eyes. He was wearing a lacy negligee with fishnet stockings open at the crotch, a woman’s miniskirt, sheer white blouse and long, brown wig.

Then she screamed twice, ran to another room and called police. The man fled without saying a word …

The man in the closet was Eric Triton Kincaid, age 29. How did the police catch him? By tracing the DNA on the meth pipe he left in the woman’s closet. Mr. Kincaid was charged with first-degree burglary, attempted first-degree sexual abuse, and invasion of personal privacy. His defense?

He was high on methamphetamine, he said [to the jury], and went to the Beaverton apartment complex on March 3, 2007 because he was invited to have sex by a woman he barely knew. But when he saw the woman sitting on the bed half naked, he realized she was the wrong woman and that he was in the wrong apartment. Basically, he was as surprised as she was, he said.

Okay, how did he end up in that apartment?

Kincaid said the woman he was going to meet was staying with friends and gave him directions that neither of them were too sure about. He arrived at what he thought was the right apartment, and when he turned the doorknob, it opened.

Think the prosecutor is buying that explanation? Me either.

The prosecutor told jurors it was more likely that Kincaid tried every basement apartment door until he found one that was unlocked. Investigators couldn’t find the mysterious friend Kincaid knew only as “Kate.”

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, what do you think?

Continue reading →

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Hey, The Juice is all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt, if it’s a close call, and there’s no history. You make the call on this one. Per the Palm Beach Post:

The Judicial Qualifications Commission filed formal charges against [Palm Beach County Circuit Court Judge Howard] Berman in December 2000. Three women – two probation officers and a former public defender – accused him of groping, inquiring about their underwear and asking for sex. He threatened to “bury” one if she told. Three additional women stepped forward with similar stories.

Laura Johnson, now a county court judge, reported that when she and Berman were prosecutors, he invited her to his home to help with some cases. Johnson told investigators Berman disappeared into his bedroom, then returned carrying cocktails – and wearing only a maid’s apron.

Wow. So what did Judge Berman do? He stepped down three days before the judicial commission hearing.

Fast forward a few years. In 2005, Berman was hired as an assistant state attorney, where he was apparently doing okay, until recently. According to recently released personnel records,

Berman … was suspended without pay for 10 days after asking a secretary, “Wanna be naughty?”

Mr. Berman’s defense?

In his written response to the allegations, he said he was merely admiring the woman’s engagement ring and said, “It’s not too gaudy.”

So was it “gaudy” or “naughty?” Not a tough call. So on top of the 10-day suspension,

Berman was ordered to avoid contact with the woman, who was not identified. He was further warned that if any similar complaints were lodged, he would be fired, according to the disciplinary report signed by Chief Assistant State Attorney Paul Zacks.

Here’s hoping the maid’s apron doesn’t make another surprise appearance.

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vigilante%20justice.jpg I don’t think Michael Spillman, Jr., of Mansfield, Ohio, will be stealing anything anytime soon. He was at the home of Jacqueline Champion and Bernard Demuth when they left for a funeral. When they came home, Spillman was gone, and so was $2,200 in gaming equipment. As reported in The Mansfield News-Journal:

“[Ms. Champion] got onto his MySpace page and invited him to a cookout,” the detective said. “Their plan was to call the police so we could arrest him.”

Hey, plans change.

After leading Spillman to the basement, Demuth reportedly clubbed him in the back of the head with a leather-covered baton, causing his head to split open. Parrella said Spillman required six staples to close the wound. The suspects reportedly beat and kicked Spillman for some time, breaking his arm.

Ouchee! After Spillman confessed, and promised not to disclose the beating, they dumped him at the police station. He confessed to the police – and told them about the beating. Champion and Demuth were arrested and charged with felonious assault and kidnapping.

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The Juice has learned that William Congreve is the source of this oft-quoted passage:

Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d,

Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.

Suffice it to say that Mr. Congreve had not met a man such as this fellow:

An inebriated man bit off his ex-girlfriend’s ear at a restaurant in Chifeng, the Inner Mongolia autonomous region, last week.

The man has been arrested.

Days after the woman broke up with him, the man invited her for dinner at a restaurant and begged her to return to him.

When she refused, he pounced on her and bit off one of her ears.

The ear was only found the next morning, which was too late for doctors to fix it back.

An ear for an ear? This story was reported by the North News (China).

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A police officer who stepped up in a Fortitude Valley freestyle rap battle has become a cult hit on YouTube, as reported by The Courier-Mail.

The clip shows the officer being taunted by local rapper Fluence, who risks arrest for obscenity and public nuisance with a line about “makin’ bacon”.

Instead of whipping out the cuffs, Constable Jay pulls out a put-down – referring to his adversary “downloading gay porn and watching it in slow-mo”. The crowd erupts. Constable Jay then quells the uproar with a plea to “not cause too much of a ruckus”. Constable Jay has since earned the nickname “Slim Shady” from his fellow officers.

Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcudMeUfqD8

Constable Jay may have a new career …

And Real Talk Battles League president Dennyson Willoughby has invited him to participate in a police versus citizens “battle” fundraiser at the PCYC. “Honestly, I’ve had run-ins with officers and I’ve never met one so cool,” Mr Willougby said.

“He just basically stood there, took it with a grain of salt, gave back his two cents and before it got out of hand, said: ‘Oi, oi, calm down’.

“He’s obviously got skills. Not only did his rhyme make sense, and it was an effective punchline, but he actually fed off of Fluence’s rhyme scheme, rhyming ‘low-low’ and ‘po po’ with ‘hobo’ and ‘slo-mo’.

“It was a pure, quality, 100 per cent battle-style rebuttal – which came from a cop… which was unexpected.”

Here’s the source.

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For something that is all about “freedom,” this gent has spent a lot of time in jail because of it. For what? As always, The Juice provides you with the naked truth, this time via scotsman.com.

Naked rambler Stephen Gough has been arrested, just three days after he was released from a six-year jail term.

No! Not again!

Gough, who hikes across the United Kingdom nude, was arrested in Townhill, Dunfermline, yesterday afternoon by officers from Fife Constabulary. The 53-year-old had been released from Perth prison on Tuesday.

A spokesman for Fife Constabulary said he had been arrested following complaints from members of the public and had been charged with a breach of the peace.

Damn you public! Seriously, the man is not hurting anyone.

The former marine, from Eastleigh in Hampshire, earned the “naked rambler” nickname by walking unclothed from Land’s End to John o’ Groats after quitting his job as a lorry driver.

He said earlier this week, as he walked free from jail, that he planned to walk to England to see his family.

In the past, officers at Perth prison would wait at the gates of the jail to re-arrest him on his release as he set off naked. However, this week they decided to turn a blind eye.

Finally! The man served his country. Good choice to let him be.

As he strolled through Perthshire naked on Thursday, he reportedly said: “The human body is not offensive – anyone who thinks this is offensive is acting irrationally. It is social conditioning gone wrong.”

Gough went on: “Freedom is why I am doing this. The naked bit is secondary. So I’ve not won or lost my battle. I’ve not lost time behind bars because I am still alive and free. And that’s how it will stay.”

He said he had spent up to 23 hours a day in solitary confinement at Perth because of his refusal to wear clothes.

If that’s true, it’s beyond idiotic. It’s criminal.

He said the time passed quickly and that, although he had expected trouble from some inmates, most had been supportive and friendly.

As for the origin of the journey …

Gough’s initial Land’s End to John o’ Groat’s trip began in 2003 and was beset with difficulties, including numerous arrests, beatings from gangs of youths and time in a psychiatric hospital. [A psychiatric assessment has concluded that Gough is sane.]

Each time he has appeared in court, he has been naked apart from a blanket. He has mostly been charged with a breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner, by walking naked in the presence of the public.

He continues to refuse to wear clothes, and says that he would like to repeal indecency laws and establishment attitudes.

For this he’s spent the past 6 years in jail? Not cool. Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr. Gough.

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If you were asked what’s in your pockets right now, you would probably know, right? This dude clearly thought he knew, but he was wrong … Per The Northwest Florida Daily News:

On July 15 an officer was called to the Rancho Alegre bar on Hollywood Boulevard by employees who had escorted a suspected drug dealer off the premises.  The man, Herminio Hurtado-Resendiz, 24, of Destin, told the officer he wasn’t selling drugs and voluntarily pulled out his pants pockets.

Um, are you sure about that?

The police officer spotted a small plastic bag fall out of Resendiz’s right-front pocket and land on the ground. The bag was full of a white, powdery substance that field-tested positive for cocaine.

Doh!

Resendiz was charged with possession of a controlled substance.

Here’s the source.

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Regular Juice readers know that you have a first amendment right to flip off a police officer. That doesn’t mean you won’t be arrested and thrown in jail. It just means that ultimately you will prevail. Any way, the same does NOT hold true for Judges, as this gent learned. As reported by NewsLeader.com (Springfield, Missouri):

David Hernandez, 31, was arrested Wednesday at about 3 p.m. while in the audience of a court proceeding. According to the judge’s docket sheet, Hernandez disrupted the court three times.

“Upon Mr. Hernandez’s departure from the courtroom, in direct view of Judge (Todd) Thornhill, (defendant) flails his arms and then lifts both arms in the air and extends the middle finger of each hand in utter disrespect and contempt of court,” the docket sheet reads.

Hernandez was asked if there was any reason he should not be held in contempt and produced none, the docket sheet says. The court then found Hernandez in contempt and ordered him to jail until August 23. [a 30-day sentence]

A police incident report indicates Hernandez was booked without incident.

To his credit, Mr. Hernandez learned from his mistake, unlike this gent, or this one, or this one. Here’s the source.