If you don't have a huge problem with this truly outrageous pat-down of a 6-year-old child, which includes "sensitive areas," ask someone to check your pulse. ENOUGH!
To those of you who have a problem with the phenomenon of bikini-clad baristas, this post almost certainly won't do anything to change your opinion. But if you're a fan, you can put this arrow in your quiver. Why? Because if this "Sweet Cheeks" barista hadn't been so concerned about her appearance, her appearance would have been drastically altered. As reported in The Highline Times (Washington) Police Blotter:
One person was slightly injured when a minivan crashed into a bikini espresso stand near S. 262nd St. and Pacific Highway. Police at the scene say that the minivan went off the highway and crashed head-on into the drive-thru window at Sweet Cheeks Espresso. The driver was slightly hurt in the crash.
According to crews at the scene, the barista who would have been standing at the window was unhurt, as she was actually touching up her make-up in another room when the minivan hit.
What's better than a confession? Maybe a video of the crime? As reported by winknews.com:
A video posted online showcasing a man hitting another with a "baseball punch" lands a suspect behind bars.
In it you can see one man viciously hitting another across the face while those around, both teenagers and adults, laugh and cheer.
"It was a total setup for the man. They set him up they put him online and they knocked him out," said Patrick Cuervo, a witness to the attack.
So maybe he was knocked out first, and then put online. Not that it matters to the victim, Mr. Goff:
Goff suffered a fractured skull, damage to his ear, and a busted lip as a result and remains in the hospital.
As for the puncher...
... Investigators say the video is what led to the arrest, although they are still searching for more suspects. Christopher Gills, 20, was arrested for battery [and is in jail on $100,000 bond].
Check out the woman at 1:07, who now appears prophetic. Here's the source.
Here's a tale of smoker who really, really wanted a cigarette. As reported in the Colorado Springs Police Blotter (April 8, 2011):
Officers were dispatched on a panicked call for help by a 24 year old resident of the Summer Grove Apartments, located near the intersection of N. Academy Boulevard and Austin Bluffs Parkway. The victim was an acquaintance of the 26 year old suspect. Santos Santier knocked on the door of our victim and requested a cigarette. Angered that he was awakened [at 1:00 a.m.] for such a trivial purpose, the resident closed the door without fulfilling his request, which now enraged Santier. Santier began kicking the entrance door, eventually gaining entry, then attacked the victim. Shortly after police arrival he was taken into custody. His actions resulted in an arrest for First Degree Burglary, a Felony. Only minor injuries were sustained by both parties.
It's strange enough that the dude stole a ferret (no offense to the ferret lovers out there), but even stranger how he got it out of the pet store. By putting it down his pants! Per The Florida Times-Union:
A Jacksonville Beach police arrest report said a 17-year-old saw a man take a ferret from the pet store, stuff it down the front of his pants and walk out of the store. The teen alerted store clerks to the theft, then followed the man to a nearby parking lot on First Avenue North.
Lifting a line from a Juice favorite, Zombieland(see below), it was time for the teen to "nut up or shut up." And nut up he did.
The teen tried to retrieve the ferret from the shoplifter, but the man punched him and they both fell to the ground. As they tussled on the ground, the man shoved the ferret in the teen's face and squeezed it.
The ferret, a small domesticated type of weasel, lunged at the teen and bit him, leaving two puncture holes in his ear, the arrest report says. The ferret was not injured.
Well done young man. And what happened to the thief?
... Rodney Bolton, was arrested ... and charged with stealing the $129 ferret from the Pet Supermarket at 609 Beach Blvd. in Jacksonville Beach. He was also charged with battery with a "special weapon," police said.
Too bad the "special weapon" didn't deploy as it was being stolen from the store ...
Sure, things would go a lot more smoothly for you if you could just pepper spray people who don't listen to you. But you can't. Or, can you ... Okay, you can, but it'll cost you, as a Georgia teacher discovered. As reported by 11alive.com:
According to a Macon police news release, officers were called to the Elam Alexander [Academy] ... last Friday.
The release says a school video captured [teacher Barbara] Neeley spraying the 14-year-old boy. Police say two boys were disrupting a classroom and Neeley told them to return to their seats.
She warned she would pepper spray them if they didn't sit down. They didn't, and police say Neeley sprayed them. One boy closed his eyes and was not affected; the other boy was treated by a nurse and his parents were called to school.
And what happened to Ms. Neeley?
Bibb schools spokesman Chris Floore said Barbara Neeley resigned from Elam Alexander Academy on Wednesday, after school officials completed their internal investigation of the pepper-spray incident. Neeley still faces a charge of cruelty to children, according to Macon police.
Based on this gent's reaction, it's a good thing the police sent a robot into the house. As reported by wftv.com:
The Brevard County Sheriff's Office said the robot was sent into the West Melbourne home last week because the homeowner had called his family and said he was going to take his own life and the life of anyone who tried to stop him.
Deputies decided that the safest way to enter was with a robot mounted with cameras. The $65,000 robot had four cameras that recorded the whole encounter. When the robot entered the house, the man came out, naked, and first tried to break the robot, then shot it at least four times with an AK-47, according to deputies.
Give that robot a raise ...
Despite the man’s violent actions, no one was injured and the standoff ended peacefully. Deputies said the man walked out, fully clothed and with his hands up, ready to be taken into custody.
Here's the source, including the newscast of the story with some video shot by the robot.
There are many ways to steal. But have you ever heard of a thief whose tool of the trade is a vacuum? Well, you're about to. As reported by The Lincoln Journal Star:
The vacuum remains at large, but Lincoln police ticketed a man who they believe used one to suck a bunch of quarters out of several apartment house laundry machines.
After surveillance photos from the March 4 laundry room theft were released Friday, police received three tips via Crimestoppers that identified the suspect as William Logan Jr., 40, 5709 Hartley St.
Almost everyone uses the remote control on their car key to lock the car. And it's then alarmed too. What a great technology! Remotes have really come a long way. So you're safe, right? Well, no. And here's why, per wmbfnews.com: Apparently thieves are targeting those keyless entry remotes
That's not a question this man will want to answer. Why? Because the answer is ... dognapping. As reported by The Sun Sentinel: A canine con man was busted Wednesday after trying to extort an $8,000 cash ransom from a North Naples woman in exchange for her two white
Maybe it's because texting or posting something on Facebook, or leaving a voice mail message (Mel Gibson!) is so easy. Whatever the reason, people really do a lot of stupid things with technology. A recent example is brought to you by The Belleville (Illinois) News-Democrat. An Alton man faces
Someone hits your car on purpose. Of course, you get all the pertinent information. If you're this guy, that would not be the license plate, type of car, etc. Per sfgate.com:A woman intentionally rammed her car into a man’s car while arguing over a parking spot in the Haight,
...The Juice would put "in front of the police station" near the bottom of the list. Of course, the calculus changes, when, like a 40-year-old Appleton, Wisconsin man, you have consumed so much booze that your blood-alcohol level is 4 times the legal limit. He was busted for ...
If you guessed that this bakery burglar was caught because he left a trail of crumbs, you'd be ... wrong! Per the The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario): After breaking into a bakery in the area of Barton Street East and Sherman Avenue North Sunday night, a bumbling burglar left a
Most folks know there are cameras EVERYWHERE. The US is becoming more like the UK this way with each passing day. Apparently this Florida woman is not aware of the phenomenon. Per the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office: A Charlotte County Sheriff's deputy arrested a Port Charlotte Target employee Tuesday
In the world of 911 operators, this probably wasn't even that wacky of a call. Still, it was really stupid. It's almost like you'd have to be drunk to do something this dumb. Per clickorlando.com: A Brevard County mother was arrested after she called 911 and asked dispatchers to
&@#$#@)+&!!!! Everyone has thought about cussing someone out. Lots of us have done it. Not so many have done it on another attorney's voicemail. A longtime prosecutor in Clark County, Washington sure wishes he hadn't. As reported in The Columbian ... A 27-year veteran attorney of the Clark County
People trying to sneak stuff into jail is not news. You can probably guess one of the techniques that is frequently attempted. Well here's a new one, at least new to The Juice. As reported by North Country Now (New York): A Moira woman has been arrested for allegedly
Admit it. You've thought about it. Some jackass steals your parking spot. You want blood (or at least some bruising). But you don't do anything because ... it's a parking spot. Well, one of both of these gents felt otherwise, per timesonline.com (Beaver, PA): [Franklin] Township police said officers
In probably every household, there is disagreement regarding the desirable thermostat temperature. In almost every household, a compromise is reached. In this household, not so much. These sisters, who share a home, got into it over one degree. As reported by The Chicago Tribune: Ilona Sales and Wanda Lupina
You've probably heard someone say that TV is like a drug. Well, this story certainly bolsters that notion. Per the Northwest Florida Daily News: Natasha Lynn Head, a 34-year-old Fort Walton Beach woman, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after she picked up a knife and
Per the St. Petersburg Times: To prove he's incompetent to stand trial on multiple felony charges, Robert Sinclaire Lee hid a razor in his mouth and used it to cut his wrist in court. He smeared feces on his face. And Monday, he entered a courtroom with feces hidden
The Juice really doesn't know where to start with this Maryland law, so here it is: A person may not sell or offer for sale a contraceptive device, whether or not advertised as a prophylactic, by means of a vending machine or other automatic device at a kindergarten, nursery
It's a big world, and there are lots of different fighting styles - boxing, kung fu, jujitsu (jiu-jitsu), MMA, taekwondo, to name a few. And then there's this gent's fighting style, unlikely to be replicated by anyone, ever. As reported by The Santa Cruz Sentinel: A 24-year-old Santa Cruz
This is not a question a court security officer should be asking. But hey, what are you supposed to do with that thing when you go to the restroom? Clearly, not this. As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader: According to New Hampshire State Police, officers from Troop
Judges can do many things to end up facing discipline. They can skip out on work too much. They can treat parties poorly. They can disrespect lawyers who appear before them. Or, as a Pennsylvania disciplinary court found regarding Allentown District Judge Maryesther Merlo, all of the above, per
Sometimes "fans" truly are "fanatics." Something happened during the Falcons-Seahawks game this weekend that set a strange chain of events in motion. Per tcpalm.com: According to an arrest affidavit, the family was watching the game when the 56-year-old Crawford made rude comments about an unidentified player. That led to
Who burgles a joint and leaves a perfectly good laptop behind? And in case you're wondering, it was out in the open, as you will soon see. As reported by tcpalm.com: In a case police are calling unique, a homeowner used his laptop computer video camera to capture a
The Juice wasn't there, but that's never stopped him from passing judgment before. This seems like a harmless prank. What do you think? As reported by The Sun News (at Cleveland.com): A Northfield boy, 17, was arrested Dec. 17 and charged with disorderly conduct after he alarmed shoppers at
The Juice is a believer in some old-fashioned notions, like men holding the elevator door open for women. Too bad a fellow in Boston, Mohammed Warsame, is not likeminded. Here's why, as reported by The Boston Herald: A Roxbury man was slopped with a plate of pasta, punched, kicked,
Yes folks, you read that correctly. As reported by detroit.cbslocal.com: Jason Festerman was called to school after his son was suspended for spraying prank item Liquid Ass in his classroom. Ads claim Liquid Ass is a “power–packed, super–concentrated liquid (that) begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine,
In another installment of "Curse you, McDonald's!", a woman at a McDonald's in Kansas City just LOST it over her hamburger order. As reported by KMBC-TV: On Dec. 27, a woman at the McDonald's at 3255 Main St. was upset about her order and returned her hamburger twice, demanding
Hardcore fans of the New York Giants were not feeling good after their team lost to the Redskins on Monday. Hopefully, though, only one took it this hard. As reported by The Star-Banner (Ocala, Florida): Authorities say a Silver Springs Shores man upset that the Redskins had beaten the
The Juice yearns for the good old days, when robbers and burglars used to just rob and burgle. Alas, it appears we shan't be returning to those days. Previously, we learned about the Beanie Baby robber. Today, it's the fish-killing robbers. Per the TribLocal: Three goldfish were killed when
It seems that this young lady is a little too attached to her phone. As reported by TCPalm.com: While cleaning the house the mother found [18-year-old] Jennifer Natale's cellphone. The mother said she took the phone because the teen was not being truthful about where she received the phone,
The weapon of choice? An umbrella. The location of the attempted robbery - a Burger King drive-thru! As reported by The Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana): According to Allen Superior Court documents, [Amanda M.] Ringler [27] pointed an umbrella at an employee through the drive-thru window and demanded money.
Hell, The Juice himself is not the most patient driver. Suffice it to say that, if his car were miked, there would have to be a serious delay, with someone's finger always on the button. But this dude in Houston? He either has an incredibly short fuse, was in
Why chase a non-violent suspect who is the subject of a "suspicious person" call when you can just Tase him? If you don't know that The Juice is opposed to the frequent overuse of Tasers, then you must be a new reader. (Scroll down this page, and in the
It stinks when your car breaks down. It really stinks when you borrow someone else's car, and it breaks down. It really, really stinks when you steal someone else's car, and it breaks down, and ... Per the Colorado Springs Police Department:Shortly after completing an unrelated call for service,
This woman either had a serious case of the munchies, is just filled with rage, or is an alien sent to earth specifically to gather chicken nuggets. As reported by WNWO in Toledo, Ohio: Toledo Police say Melodi Dushane, 24, stopped at the fast-food restaurant at Front and Main
Why should police officer read Legal Juice? If they did, they would know, as all regular Juice readers do, that the Constitution allows folks to flip them off, and to cuss. Sure, they can make an arrest, but in the end, the flipper or cusser will be walking away
Some people just seem intent on sucking all of the joy out of life. Here's a case in point, as reported by The Seattle Times: The staff at Lafayette Elementary School in West Seattle has decided to uphold its decision not to allow students to dress up for Halloween
Running from the authorities? Not a good idea. Running from the authorities in the courthouse? Doh! Per wane.com: It happened Tuesday in Tampa. A 25-year-old man in a purple shirt refused to sign his paperwork in a court case. Surveillance video shows the man took off running through the
Do you think these provisions of the Tennessee Constitution might be unconstitutional? ARTICLE IX Disqualifications. Section 1. Whereas ministers of the Gospel are by their profession, dedicated to God and the care of souls, and ought not to be diverted from the great duties of their functions; therefore, no
You just can't go around arresting people for cussing, or you may be ponying up, as this Georgia city discovered. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution: Community activist Mary Kirkendoll grew so frustrated with Smyrna’s town hall question-and-answer session, she stood up and began to leave. Before she got
At a boot sale, which is roughly the equivalent of a swap meet, an elderly couple must have been delighted with the lovely plant they purchased. Certainly it was treated quite well, as evidenced by its incredible growth. So why is this Juiceworthy? As reported by the BBC: An
You're the new boss. You want to let your employees know that you're in charge. If you're in Saudi Arabia, this is NOT the way to do it. As reported by Emirates 24/7: The new manager at the mall in the western Red Sea port of Jeddah met the
Forget about "I only had 2 drinks ..." or "I was looking for the Easter Bunny..." Wait, that's what this dude said he was doing. As reported by The Union Leader: John Fowler, 50 ... claimed a man had come to his house with information about the location of
Certainly it's natural to want to maximize one's real estate investment. But we are still, for the most part, a nation of laws. San Francisco landlords Kip and Nicole Macy apparently didn't care much about the law. They were trying to clear out a 6-unit building they bought in
That may be an understatement. Sure, if you're in jail, maybe it's not a big deal to steal from another inmate. But what about stealing a computer from the jail? Yup. Per the Kalamazoo Gazette:Kalamazoo County Circuit Judge Gary Giguere Jr. sentenced [Western Michigan University student William K.] Bradley
You call 911 when you are in trouble, not when you're going to cause trouble. Who doesn't know that? Well, there is this one guy ... As reported by Lancasteronline.com: At 11:45 a.m., [52-year-old Dennis] Auker called 911 and said he was going to beat up his neighbor and
In Newport News, Virginia, and some other fun-loving locales across the country, it is illegal for anyone over the age of eleven to trick or treat! This is truly one of the dumbest laws The Juice has encountered (and that's saying something). Here's the law: Sec. 28-5. - Prohibited
When you think of road rage, you think about aggressive driving, or maybe even someone pulling a weapon, right? But this? You would not think of this. Ever. Per BeeNews.com (New York): Police responded to a road rage incident on Union Road. Reportedly, two motorists were spitting on each
Legal Juice honored by ABA Journal as top 100 blawg